“If that were true, I would’ve told you to get the fuck out of my bed after I came. Wouldn’t have slept in my goddamn arms last night.”

  She shook her head, disgusted. “Don’t worry. I’ll get the fuck out now.” She turned, but I grabbed her arm, stopping her. “Don’t touch me!” she snapped, shoving me away as hard as she could.

  “Fuck!” I roared, hunching over. Wrapping my arm around my torso from the stinging pain.

  She took one look at me, scoffing out, “Good, now we’re both hurting.” She turned again and left. Leaving me with the indisputable guilt of fucking her over.

  I spent the rest of the day getting my room back in order, rejecting help from the countless whores that I knew Diesel kept sending up.

  I wanted to be alone.

  The next few days were much of the same thing. The brothers fixed what they could throughout the warehouse, while Pops kept calling in for some reinforcements. We were being extra cautious, identifying workers that were coming in and out. Spending all hours of the day and night, trying to get the compound back in working order. Pops didn’t want the shootout to bring down the club’s morale or the brotherhood in which we stood for. He wanted nothing to be jeopardized because some of our own were put to ground.

  In true form.

  He threw a fucking party.

  The whores cleaned up the joint as best as they could, making sure the house was stocked with liquor, beer, and food. Diesel and Stone took care of getting an endless supply of fucking drugs. It was a free-for-all.

  We were celebrating the life and death of our brothers.

  “This is some good shit,” Stone exclaimed, handing me a blunt.

  We were sitting on one of the couches in the game room, shooting the shit. Acting like nothing had happened in that room days prior. Pretending to have a good ol’ fucking time.

  The coffee table in front of us was lined with rails of coke, brothers and whores stopping to get their fix of the free drugs. People were walking around everywhere, smoking weed, popping pills, fucking out in the open, and kicking back an obscene amount of booze. We were all on the same page, wanting nothing more than to just forget and have a good fucking time. Most of the women showed up half-naked, or not dressed at all. Dancing on poles, brothers, and each other.

  I took the blunt to my mouth, sucking in long and hard, holding the smoke in. Trying to get as fucked up as I could. The guilt was eating me alive. As the night went on, so did the usual festivities. I was never much for doing drugs, only an occasional blunt here and there. I was always more of a drinker, been drinking ever since I could see over the damn bar.

  I had never felt so empty and hollow in all my life, but as a VP I had to put on a good front. It was one thing after another lately. The club, my dad, and now Autumn. Everything was a fucking mess. The walls were closing in, and I had no way out. My life was leading me on a road to nowhere. The underlying demons never leaving me alone, my fucking companions, always sitting right next to me, waiting for the turmoil of more devastation to take over.

  More lives.

  More blood.

  More fucking death.

  For what?

  For fucking nothing.

  I blinked, finding myself on that same old couch. Except, this time I was snorting line after line of coke. Trying to forget, trying to go numb, trying to block out the last twenty years of my life. Nothing was working. The pain was still alive and bleeding out of me, leaving nothing but destruction in its wake.

  I did another line, leaning back into the couch cushions, letting the blow take over. Watching the color lights dance around the room to the beat of the music. The distinct taste of the drip from the blow ran down the back of my throat, but I chased it down with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s.

  “Hey, Creed,” some blonde with huge fucking tits purred, making herself at home on my lap. Bringing her brunette friend with her to sit down next to me. Just then realizing Stone had left.

  “I’m Lola, and this is Candy,” the blonde informed me, biting her lip in a seductive way. Twirling her finger in her hair. Grazing a long red manicured nail along her friend’s breasts. “Candy forgot to put on a bra tonight.” Slightly pulling down her friend’s skintight white tank, she exposed a perfectly round nipple. Circling her finger around it, making it pebble even more. “She also forgot to wear panties,” she added.

  The brunette spread her legs open as on cue, propping her one stiletto heel on the table. Licking her finger before reaching between her legs, exposing her clit.

  I cocked my head to the side, taking in her pink bare pussy. “Not complainin’,” I rasped.

  “How about Candy and I show you a good time tonight? She’s new here, and I think you will really like her,” she whispered in my ear, sucking my lobe into her mouth, flicking it with her tongue.

  Her friend looked up at me with piercing bright blue eyes, licking her lips, slowly circling her clit.

  Baiting me.

  “What makes you think I ain’t already havin’ a good time?” I asked, never taking my eyes off the brunette, eye-fucking the shit out of me.

  “You are sitting here all alone, figured you could use some company,” the blonde responded, kissing along my jaw.

  “Think y’all are worth my fuckin’ time?”

  She nodded, taking a vial out of her bra. Twisting off the cap, she tapped out blow on her tits. Instantly leaning back, brushing her blonde hair to the side. Waiting for my next move.

  “Ladies first,” I murmured, gesturing to her friend.

  She nodded, leaning forward, snorting it right off her boobs. I followed suit.

  I spent the next hour in a drug-induced blur. Watching the two whores dance for me on the poles in the corner of the room. Grinding on each other, taking turns hanging upside down with their legs out in splits, tongue fucking the shit out of each other’s pussies. Brothers stood around hooting and hollering, throwing dollar bills at them. Enjoying the show as much as I was.

  The blue-eyed brunette came strutting over to me, naked in all her glory. A green hue of light illuminated her curvy frame, reminding me of the redhead I had lost.

  Autumn.

  I quickly shook off the sentiment, trying to focus through my fog that was my mind while the whore straddled my lap backward. I didn’t fucking hesitate, I pulled her back into my chest, nipping at her neck as she swayed her curvy hips to the sultry beat of the music. Grinding her ass into my cock, over and over again.

  I reached down her stomach, slowly making a path to her pussy that I’d wanted to touch since the moment she spread her goddamn legs for me, giving me an instant hard on. I circled her clit with the palm of my hand, ramming my fingers into her wetness with my other one. Before I knew what was happening, the blonde was kneeling between her thighs, pushing my palm out of the way, lapping at her clit while I continued to fuck her with my fingers. Her pussy tightened around me, throbbing with her release. Muffled moans assaulted my senses, far away even though she was near.

  Everything heightened from the blow.

  I couldn’t take it anymore. I need to be balls fucking deep in one of them.

  We stumbled our way back to my bedroom laughing our asses off at nothing and everything all at once. I kicked the door shut behind me, leaning against it once it was closed. The music was blaring through the house, thumping against the walls, vibrating on my back. My room shifted around, coming in and out of focus as the girls walked backward toward the bed, swaying their hips, fucking me with their eyes.

  Usually, guys in my current state of mind can’t perform when they were as fucked up as I was, but I was a lucky bastard. Drugs and alcohol only made me hard as fuck.

  “Fuck each other,” I ordered in a low-pitched tone. “Get nice and wet for me.”

  They crawled their way onto my bed, sitting up on their knees in the center, devouring each other. Their tongues taking what the other wanted, as their hands glided in sync down their bodies, stopping when they reached the o
ther’s pussy. Moaning into one another’s mouths causing my cock to twitch and throb against the zipper of my jeans.

  I kicked off my boots and pulled off my shirt, walking over to my nightstand to grab condoms from the drawer. They never took their eyes off me, as they finger-fucked each other. I reached down, fumbling to unbuckle my pants, pulling out my cock, and jerking it off. Enjoying the goddamn show with hazy, hooded eyes. Stroking my cock harder the closer they got to coming undone.

  “Come here,” I demanded, nodding toward the brunette. Never letting up on stroking my dick. Already forgetting their goddamn names. I stood at the edge of the bed.

  She happily obliged, leaving her friend. Crawling over to me, getting up on her knees on the mattress, leveling her face with mine. I gripped onto the back of her hair by the nook of her neck, forcefully tugging it back, when she leaned in to kiss my lips.

  We weren’t kissing.

  We were fucking.

  Plain and simple.

  A moan escaped her mouth, confirming the bitch liked it rough. I dragged her down, moving her to face my cock, shoving it to the back of her throat until she gagged. She never stopped sucking. I grabbed on tighter, bobbing her head the way I fucking liked it.

  “Arghhh…” I groaned out, nodding to the chick on my bed. “Put my balls in your fuckin’ mouth. Show me how much you want to suck my cock too, and then maybe I’ll give it to you.”

  She grinned, licking from my taint to my balls, sucking one into her mouth and humming, while the brunette sucked my dick like she had something to prove. Her sloppy wet mouth felt fucking amazing. The blonde stuck out her tongue and licked up my balls to my shaft, while the brunette sucked on the head of my cock. I gripped onto the sides of her face, thrusting my dick into the back of her throat.

  Fucking her face for a few seconds, wanting to feel the back of her mouth

  I pulled out my dick with a pop and she gasped for air. “Good girl,” I growled in a low, rumbling tone. “Now fuckin’ finish what you started.”

  They went back at it. I rolled on a condom, not trusting either of them to put it on me. Last thing I wanted was getting trapped by a club whore. This was a means to an end for me.

  I wanted to come.

  I didn’t give a fuck about them.

  Making my way onto the bed, I grabbed whoever was closer to me, it just happened to be the blonde.

  “Eat her pussy,” I ordered, gripping her hips. Roughly shoving her head down until she was on her hands and knees in front of me.

  In one swift movement, I was balls deep inside her, taking her from behind. Smacking her fucking ass. Enjoying the feel of her cunt wrapped around my cock. Fucking her to the beat of the music still going strong outside my room. I smacked her ass again, causing her to buck her hips, backing her ass up on my cock. All while burying her face in her friend’s pussy, caressing her tits at the same time.

  Moans escaped both of their mouths. The brunette’s back arched off the bed in ecstasy, riding out her orgasm on the blonde’s fucking tongue. I twisted her hair in my hand, roughing pulling her up to her knees.

  “I’m done wit’ you,” I groaned in her ear, releasing her, shoving her forward. “Your turn, sweetheart.” I grabbed her friend’s ankles, pulling her toward me.

  The blonde grinned, kissing her friend’s lips, savoring the taste of her own come. Before climbing on top of her to sit on her goddamn face. I placed the brunette’s legs on my shoulder, rubbing my cock between her pussy lips. Positioning my dick at her opening, I thrust in. Fucking her hard, fast, and with much more determination. Hearing the slapping sound of my balls against her bare ass cheeks.

  I pulled back out, nudging my cock into the pucker of her asshole, she moaned, wild and unashamed.

  I chuckled to myself, “You like things up your ass, yeah?”

  “Umm hmm...” she hummed, never letting up on eating her friend’s pussy.

  “Take my fuckin’ cock then.” I pushed in the head of my dick, teasing her. Causing her to shudder while she took every last inch of my cock. “Good girl,” I growled loud and hard once I was fully inside her, she was so fucking tight it made my balls ache.

  Her legs trembled as I thrust in and out of her. Matching every stroke, taking what wasn't mine. My head fell back, completely immersed in drugs, booze, and fucking her in the ass.

  On the verge of coming.

  “YOU SON OF A BITCH!”

  The girls gasped, causing me to jerk back not grasping what the fuck was happening. I pulled my cock out of her ass, immediately looking over to my door where the voice came from. Narrowing my eyes, trying to blink away the drug-induced haze.

  “Fuck…” I breathed out when Autumn came into focus. Standing in the doorway.

  She shook her head, looking from me to the girls that were now jumping off the bed, scurrying around my room trying to find their shit and haul ass.

  Autumn looked back at me again, seething, “You disgust me! I can’t believe you! Four days! Four fucking days! That’s all it took for you to fuck another whore! Jesus Christ, Creed! Making up for lost time, you had to fuck two of them at once?!”

  She didn’t pay them any mind as they ran past her, and out the room, the door slamming behind them. Autumn’s sole focus was the fucked-up man in front of her.

  Me.

  I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know what to do. Fuck, I barely knew how I was feeling. The drugs and booze had finally taken over. I just knelt there on the bed, looking into her eyes, fucking dumbfounded. Trying to shake away the fog. I rubbed my eyes, my brain fighting with my mouth to say something.

  Anything.

  I got off the bed instead, tearing off the condom and threw it away. Looking around the room for my jeans, rubbing the back of my head. Disoriented and confused as fuck.

  Suddenly stumbling when Autumn chucked them at me, shaking her head in pure utter disbelief. I slipped them on, trying like hell to stay upright. Failing miserably to do so, almost falling to the bed that I just fucked two whores on.

  “Who are you right now?” she scoffed out with an expression I’d never seen before.

  I stepped toward her and she instantly stepped back, placing her hands out in front of her.

  “Babe…”

  “Don’t babe, me. You don’t get to call me that. I mean look at you! Your bandage is drenched in blood! Was it fucking worth it? Is this who you are when I’m not around, Creed? Huh? Is that why you don’t want me here? Can’t do your drugs? Can’t drink yourself into a coma? Can’t fuck your whores!” she yelled, grabbing the ashtray off the table and hurling it at me.

  I barely moved out of the way, my reaction time lagging. “The fuck?! What do ya want me to say? You already know the answer!” I roared, pushing through the emotionless state. Rubbing the back of my head again. My mind unable to catch up with the bullshit happening right now.

  “How could you do this to me? I came here to tell you I was sorry. I came here to tell you how much I love you! I’m not your fucking doormat! You may treat these women like the whores they are, but it’s nothing compared to the way you just treated me. Showing me I mean nothing to you!” she yelled, her eyes watering with tears.

  “You weren’t supposed to be here, Autumn. Weren’t supposed to see that.”

  “And that makes it okay? That changes things? No! It doesn’t change one fucking thing! Not what you did. Not how I feel. NOTHING!”

  I tried to step toward her again, but the look on her face was enough to stop me. I sat on the edge of the bed no longer able to stand on my own two feet. Holding my head in my hands, resting my elbows on my knees.

  “Shoulda’ never taken you to bed. That was my fuck up. Caused you pain and for that I’m fuckin’ sorry,” I stated in a sincere tone, hoping she would understand. “But this is who I am.” Cocking my head to look at her. “This is who I’ve always been, babe. Never lied to you, and you know that.”

  Tears fell down her beautiful face, her lip quivering. She wiped
them all away. The look on her face in that moment nearly brought to my fucking knees.

  She stepped back, shaking her head. As if we already didn’t have enough space between us. “I hate you,” she breathed out. “Do you hear me? I fucking hate you, Creed Jameson! I wish I never met you! You finally got what you wanted. I want nothing to do with you! EVER! You’re dead to me!”

  I abruptly stood. “Autumn, you don’t mean that. You don’t fuckin’ mean that,” I gritted out, sobering the fuck up real fast.

  She walked toward me, each step precise and calculated. Grabbing my face between her hands, looking deep into my eyes long and hard for what felt like forever as if she was trying to remember my face. She whispered, “Luke wouldn’t have wanted this for you. He would have of been so disappointed in the man you’ve become.”

  I grimaced, her words searing my skin. It was a pain far worse than taking a fucking bullet for my old man.

  “I hate you,” she repeated with much more conviction in her tone. “You just lost the last good thing in your life.” With that she turned, never once looking back.

  Walking out of my life.

  Knowing everything she said.

  Was true.

  THIRTEEN

  CREED

  I missed her.

  I fucking missed her.

  But most of all...

  I missed us.

  Depression wasn't something to fuck with. I hated what I did to her, what it did to us, but mostly I just hated my goddamn self for being such a goddamn bastard. I couldn’t take it anymore. She had been on my mind constantly for the last month.

  I rode to her house ready to give her whatever she wanted, as long as it kept her in my life.

  Knocking on her door, waiting anxiously for her to answer.

  “Hey, sweetie,” her mom greeted, opening the door. Pulling me in for a hug.

  “Hey, how are you doin’?”

  “I’m great. How are you?”

  I sighed, pulling away. “Been better.” Placing my hands in my pockets, I stood on their porch, looking down at my boots. The guilt consuming me. I couldn’t even bring myself to look at her mother, the woman who treated me like her own son.