Mariana looked over her shoulder. “He’s coming. Roll up all the windows. Drive faster. Get us out of here!”
Sierra pushed the button for the windows and heard his large hand thump on the side of the trunk as she coasted through a yellow light and made another turn.
“Good thinking, the way you yelled at me. You caught him offguard. I didn’t think I’d ever get away from him. What a night. I don’t know what is wrong with Tianna. These guys were rough, you know what I mean? And so big.”
“No, I don’t know what you mean.” Sierra made a quick turn and headed away from the hotel row and toward the freeway. She kept her temper to a simmer and looked for the sign for H-1 so she could turn to enter the freeway.
“Mariana—”
“I know what you’re going to say.”
“No you don’t.”
“Yes I do. You’re going to tell me I’m irresponsible and flirting with disaster and that you’re very angry with me.”
Sierra had calmed just enough to respond with, “I would have started with the angry part first and yelled a little before moving onto the irresponsible part. But you know what? You’re an adult. You’re responsible for your own decisions. You don’t need me to tell you anything. And I want you to know that, from here on out, I’m not coming to get you. This is your one-time pass. After this, you can take a taxi. Or rent another car. Or grow up.”
“I’ve decided to grow up.”
Sierra didn’t add another comment. She was still angry.
For the next five minutes the two of them didn’t talk. Sierra turned off the air conditioner and rolled her window halfway down to feel the breeze on her neck.
“You don’t think I’m serious, but I am,” Mariana said. “You can still be mad at me, if you want. I don’t blame you. But I made my decision tonight. I don’t want this sort of craziness anymore. Not like Tianna. That’s why I didn’t invite her to stay with us at the beach house. When I found out she was coming to Oahu at the same time, she asked to stay with me, but I said no. I told her I didn’t want her to bring the guys home.”
Sierra wanted to calm down and listen, but she was having a hard time. It was easier to stay mad.
“Tianna gave me a hard time, saying that I wouldn’t let her stay with me because of the guys, and yet you brought a guy home, and he’s even staying with us. I told Tianna you were sleeping in the same room with me, not with Jordan. She didn’t believe me.”
“I don’t care if she believed you.”
“I know. And that’s the thing about you, Sierra.”
“The thing about me?”
“Yes. It’s the good thing. You know who you are, and no one can convince you to think or do something different. You don’t give in. It’s the right kind of stubbornness. You have the right kind of morals, too. And look how happy you are.”
At the moment Sierra felt like she was anything but happy.
“I was so jealous when you came back to the house glowing after your bike ride this afternoon. You didn’t need a guy to make your day fun. You didn’t need to get high. You just have this thing about you.”
Again Sierra repeated, “This thing about me?”
Mariana let out a huff. “Okay, I’ll say it. God. You have God. He’s all over you. Or in you, or whatever it is. It’s obvious. It’s always been obvious, even when you’re at your worst.”
In a smaller voice Sierra said, “And you have certainly seen some of my worst moments these past few years.”
“You’ve definitely seen some of mine. And…” Mariana paused. “You’re still my friend.”
The remaining fire in Sierra’s emotions smoldered to gray ash. She felt her spirit calming. Over their years as friends they had had deep discussions about God as well as fiery arguments about religion versus relationship. Mariana ended each talk with the declaration that she was too young to give over the control of her life to Christ. She would do it when she was an old lady. For now, she wanted to have fun.
“Thank you for coming all this way to get me.”
“You’re welcome. But I meant it when I said this is the only time I’m doing it.”
“I know. And it will be.” Mariana drew in a deep breath. She reached over and put her hand on Sierra’s arm. “Sierra, I want what you have.”
“What do you mean?”
“I want God. I want Him back in my life. Like He was when I was a girl. Before my mother died.”
Sierra had waited a long time to hear Mariana say anything remotely close to the words that spilled out just now. She found that, now that this moment had come, she didn’t know how to reply.
“I’ve seen how it is with you, Sierra. God has His hand on you. I want that. You don’t have to say anything. I think you’re still mad enough at me that you might try to talk me out of repenting.”
“Well, actually—”
“No,” Mariana interrupted. “Don’t say anything. I know what to do. I know what to say. I’m going to pray. And I’m going to pray aloud because I want the demons to hear it and know they have lost one of their lackeys. You just drive. And don’t try to stop me.”
Sierra kept her blinking eyes on the well-lit highway and drove through the darkened night. As she drove, Mariana prayed in Portuguese. She prayed with such fire and fervor, Sierra felt every word burn inside her, even though she couldn’t understand many of them.
After Mariana’s prayer came a calm between them like an evening breeze. And after the calm came many tears, washing away all that had come before and making Mariana’s overturned heart ready for what was yet to be.
Chapter Thirty-Five
For the past two and a half hours Jordan had been looking at his computer screen, editing wedding photos and then looking out the open side window to see if any headlights were turning into their driveway. It seemed the best way to keep awake and yet not appear that he was waiting for Sierra to come back, even though he was.
I’m never going to forgive myself for not going with her. How could I have done that? If anything happens to her…
Jordan rose and went to the refrigerator. One slice of pizza remained. He took a bite and could hardly swallow it. He hated cold pizza. Sticking the rest of the slice in the microwave, he warmed it and ate it in four bites.
He had estimated how long it should take Sierra to drive to Waikiki and back and knew that if she hadn’t encountered any problems she should have returned by now.
He had also considered driving to Waikiki. But without a cell phone to connect them, or any idea where Mariana had told Sierra to meet her, he couldn’t find them. He knew that. Yet it was torture to sit there and do nothing.
Through the open window he saw the flash of car headlights illuminating the room with a beam of heavenly hope. Jordan didn’t bother to wait until the women came in. He charged out the door and went to them just as Mariana was opening the passenger door.
“Oh, good. I was hoping you still would also be up. Here, can you take this?” Mariana handed Jordan a grocery bag.
“We have food here.” His irritation at Mariana came out loud and clear. What were they doing going grocery shopping at this time of night? What store did they find that was still open?
“We don’t have birthday cake and ice cream here,” Mariana said.
Jordan looked over the top of the car at Sierra as she climbed out of the driver’s side. In the pale illumination of the mixture of moonlight and glow from the lights he had left on inside the house, he could see that she was smiling. She came closer and grinned.
Jordan was mystified. Sierra had been furious when she had left to pick up Mariana. She had been gone hours, and now they arrived with birthday cake? Was it Sierra’s birthday? Mariana’s?
He waited until Mariana had passed by, and then he drew closer to Sierra, trying to gauge her expression. “Everything okay?”
“Yes.” She was still smiling broadly. This was a huge difference from the expression she had worn earlier that evening. It must be her birt
hday.
As soon as they were inside and had shut the door on the bugs that were congregating around the car’s headlights, Jordan put the grocery bag on the counter. “I wish you would have told me it was your birthday, Sierra.”
“It’s not her birthday,” Mariana said brightly. “It’s mine.”
Sierra lifted the cake and the carton of ice cream from the bag.
“It’s not my welcome-to-the-world birthday,” Mariana said. “It’s my welcome-to-the-Kingdom-of-God birthday.”
Jordan scratched his eyebrow. He was trying to track with what was going on here. He looked to Sierra for some support and a few more details. The bedroom door opened, and Derek came out, squinting in the light.
“Are you guys okay? What’s going on?”
“Sit down, sit down.” Mariana pointed to the sofa. “We’re going to celebrate. Think of this as our fatted calf. I’m the prodigal who came home.”
Jordan thought he was putting the pieces of this crazy puzzle together, but he wasn’t going to say anything until he was sure he understood. He sat on the sofa. Derek sat next to him with his arms resting on his thighs like a basketball player waiting to be called into the game.
Mariana explained how her mother was a strong Christian, an evangelical, and that she took Mariana to Sunday school and prayed with her every night when she was a little girl.
“I loved Jesus back then, like my mother did, and I wanted to be just like her when I grew up. Then, when I was eleven, she died. It was a terrible, terrible death. I don’t want to talk about that. I was so lost that I decided, if there was a God and if He was so cruel as to take my wonderful mother when I needed her most in my life, then I didn’t want to have anything to do with Him. And that’s how I lived. Until tonight.”
Sierra came over to the couch and handed Jordan a plate with a slice of chocolate cake and a generous scoop of ice cream. The look on her face was still one of contentment.
Mariana handed a plate of birthday cake and ice cream to Derek. “So tonight I repented. I came back to God. I knew for a long time this was what I needed to do, but tonight it was unmistakable. It was time. I want to love Him and live for Him the way I have watched Sierra do all these years. What she has, what you have, Jordan, it’s irresistible. Really. You don’t know. I have seen it all on the other side. All of it. It’s so empty. And there is no happiness there.”
She lifted her fork and gave an indication that the three of them should do the same. “Here I am. Back on the right side, on God’s side at last. Happy birthday to me!”
Sierra lifted her fork and gave a cheer.
Jordan followed Sierra’s lead. “That’s incredible, Mariana. Really. Wow!” He wished he had better words for her.
Derek found strong words of affirmation and spoke between bites.
It was slowly coming to Jordan what a significant moment this was for Sierra. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like if Derek and Mindy had been his close friends all these years and yet didn’t share his same core beliefs. His admiration for Sierra rose even higher as he realized the sort of challenges she had faced in Brazil. She had told him how difficult the language was for her. Not having the ongoing support of Christian friends and family nearby had to be even more difficult.
“So what happened in Waikiki?” Jordan asked. “Is your friend okay?”
Mariana’s expression turned somber. “I hope so. Sierra and I prayed for her on the way back here. If Tianna is anything like I am, I know she’s going to have to figure this out for herself. It does no good trying to convince someone that what she is doing is destructive until she is ready to hear it.”
“Her life isn’t in danger or anything, is it?” Jordan asked.
Mariana looked down. “I’ll call her in the morning. It’s like Sierra told me. Tianna is an adult. She’s responsible for her own decisions. If she wants me to come rescue her, I’ll do it once.”
Mariana told about how she and Tianna had met a group of guys at the beach and how Tianna wanted to stay with them and go clubbing, but Mariana didn’t want to go. They had an argument, and Tianna took her car keys and left with one of the guys.
“I was stuck there. What was I supposed to do? I’m sorry I had to call you on Jordan’s phone, Sierra. I saw no other solution.”
“I’m glad you called,” Sierra said.
The birthday party wound down, and Derek was the first to meander back to bed. “The sun is coming up in just a few hours. I hope you guys get some sleep too.”
“We will,” Mariana said.
Jordan delayed going back to bed. He helped to clear the plates and stalled further by taking out the trash to the bin by the garage. When he returned to the kitchen both Mariana and Sierra had gone to their room and closed the door.
He wanted to say something to Sierra. He didn’t know what. Something about how concerned he had been for her and how sorry he was about the comment he had made before she left about her independence and trying for gold stars.
It was too late. But he could tell her in the morning. Or rather, later that day. Maybe by then he would have a better idea of what he wanted to say.
Jordan turned off the light and stumbled back to his room. His stomach was tightening. He didn’t know if it was the cake or the thoughts he was trying to process. He knew he wasn’t willing to step up to the plate and take a swing at what an ongoing relationship might look like with Sierra.
And yet, he didn’t want anyone else to even get near that plate.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Sierra heard someone rumbling around in the kitchen about the same time the first birds started in on their chorus of jubilee for the new day. She groaned and turned over but knew it was useless to try to sleep any more.
Mariana appeared unaffected by the morning sounds and kept sleeping as Sierra pulled on a long, flowing beach skirt and a sleeveless, gauze top. She opened the door quietly and shuffled into the kitchen.
“You guys are sure up early. Did you get any sleep?”
“Couple of hours.” Jordan gave her a smile. “How ’bout you?”
She covered her mouth as a yawn came out. She figured it was the only answer needed.
Derek put down his coffee mug and looked at the time on the microwave. Someone had reset it to the correct time. “We have to get going. The Eddie could be on. They had reports of closeout sets at sunrise.”
Sierra had picked up enough talk from the people she was around at the beach to know that this elite surfing competition only happened when the waves reached a certain height. She didn’t remember what it was, but apparently the magic number had been hit and the word had gone out that today was the day.
“Are you competing?” she asked.
Derek laughed. “Not in this one. It’s by invitation only. Surfers are nominated by their peers. I’m not one of the big wave surfers. Don’t ever plan to be.”
“You were yesterday.” She reached for a mug in the cupboard.
“And apparently, that was my only day. I didn’t make the roster for the next heat.”
Sierra paused before pouring herself a cup of coffee. “So that’s it? That’s as far as you can go?”
Derek nodded.
She caught a hint of disappointment, but he didn’t seem as bummed as she thought someone like Derek would be after working so hard and then only getting one good run.
“I’m really sorry to hear that, Derek. I know this was important to you.”
“I’m okay with it.”
“Are you really?” Jordan leaned in and reached for the milk carton that was on the counter beside Sierra. “I mean, I thought you would be a lot more upset. You seem pretty calm. Hasn’t it sunk in?”
“No, it’s sunk in. But I’m okay with it. I mean, I’m old, Jordo.”
Jordan laughed.
“We knew it was a long shot. I went as far as I could. This is where the dream ran outta steam, man. My semi-pro surfing career ends here.”
“That’s not necessar
ily true,” Jordan said.
Sierra poured her coffee and stepped to the side where she leaned against the counter and watched the concerned look on Jordan’s face.
“Yeah, it’s true,” Derek said. “You know it’s true. We have to look at this for what it is. I had a good run. It’s over.”
Sierra felt Derek’s words go deep. She had had a good run in Brazil. Was that dream out of steam for her?
“You know what I realized?” Derek asked. “I realized that what I want in life more than anything is a good wife, some healthy kids, and food on the table. That’s it, man. I don’t need whatever it was I’ve been chasing all these years. Don’t get me wrong; I love surfing. I’ll always love it. I’ll probably be one of those old guys out on his board when I’m seventy. But for now, knowing that Mindy is all right, and that we have our first baby on the way…that’s it. That’s my life right there. That’s my real dream.”
Sierra felt her throat tighten at Derek’s words. She sipped her coffee again and stole a look at Jordan over her mug’s rim. He was looking down and had his lips pressed together.
The fact that Jordan’s dream was coming along nicely while Derek’s had come to a halt had to impose some sort of weight on Jordan. She thought about all the dreams she had that were connected with Brazil. Many had been fulfilled. She had had a good run, as Derek had said. And now? Was that it? Was she done?
Sierra opened the cupboard and pulled out a box of cereal. She picked up a bowl from the dish rack. She saw that her hand quivered as it had the day after the storm when she and Jordan were sitting close on the couch and had an intense moment of gazing at each other. Sierra felt then that Jordan had been able to see all the way to her heart. Now it seemed that Derek’s words had gone all the way to that same deep place. Sierra didn’t think she had ever admitted it to anyone, but her deeply rooted dream was for a loving spouse and a healthy family as well. It was a dream she didn’t dare to acknowledge for fear that it might be asking too much of God to fulfill.
“Do you want to come with us?” Derek asked.