Sierra looked up. Both Jordan and Derek were looking at her with expectant expressions. As she fixed her gaze on Jordan, Sierra thought she saw something hopeful in his eyes. She knew she could have been reading it into the moment because she wanted something to be there. She had tried not to let herself build up fanciful scenarios about him. But now she was at the point where she couldn’t deny her attraction to him grew each time she was around him. Even though he hadn’t given a solid indication that he was interested in her, she needed to finally admit to herself that she was interested in him. Very interested.
“Can you tell me where you’re going and how long you’ll probably be there? I told Mariana I’d do something with her today. But I could maybe follow you guys and then come back once she’s up and ready to go.”
The guys gave Sierra the details, and Jordan said, “You know, I have to come back here around ten. We could all go to Waimea together, and then you and I could come back here.”
“Sure, that sounds great.”
“You can leave me at Waimea Bay all day,” Derek said. “I don’t want to miss any of it.”
“I’ll get a few things together.” Sierra ducked into the bedroom and saw that Mariana was awake.
“Are you guys going somewhere? I heard you talking.”
“We’re going to Waimea. Do you want to come? The guys want to get there early. Jordan’s coming back here in a few hours.”
“I’d like to go.” Mariana stretched leisurely. “How much time do I have to get ready?”
“They want to leave right away.”
“Can we meet them there in a little while?”
Sierra hesitated. She would rather go right now. But she gave in. “Sure, we can do that. I’ll go tell them.”
It took Mariana a full hour to get ready. Sierra knew it would. Mariana was the only person Sierra knew who would take a shower and straighten her hair before going to the beach. While Mariana prepped, Sierra made sandwiches, cleaned up the kitchen, and washed two of her shirts in the sink.
Once they were finally on their way with towels, beach chairs, and a picnic lunch stuffed into the backseat of Mariana’s convertible, the highway was packed. Their trek to Waimea Bay was slow going, but it gave them time to talk, and that was what Mariana seemed most interested in.
She talked about her childhood and her relationship with her dad. She told Sierra some stories she never had shared before about old boyfriends and lost friendships. It seemed to be a purging session for Mariana, and once she had gotten it all out, Sierra said, “For all of that, you have been released. You know that, don’t you?”
“I’m beginning to understand, I think.”
“God’s grace for you covers everything. It’s all fresh starts from here.”
Mariana shouted out the open top of the convertible, “I love my new life!”
Sierra smiled. She still couldn’t believe the way Mariana had prayed last night, and the way even her countenance appeared different.
As they entered the area where the competition was being held, the bottleneck of cars became ridiculous.
“We’ll never find a place to park,” Mariana said. “How badly do you want to see the monster waves? Haven’t we been looking at huge waves all week?”
Sierra wanted to see Jordan, not the waves. But he was only going to be there another hour or less before he went back to Sunset Beach.
“I guess we could call Jordan and tell him we’re not coming.”
“Yes, do that. Call him. I found out about a good beach not far from here that is calm enough for swimming. You and I can go there instead. I haven’t been in the water since I got here. What’s the point of going to Hawaii if you don’t plunge into the water?”
Before Sierra could pull Mariana’s phone from her purse, Mariana stopped her and added, “That is, if you want to do this. Go swimming, I mean. I didn’t give you much of a chance to have a say in this.”
“I’m okay with swimming. We weren’t going to find parking, and even if we did, it would have been hard to find Jordan and Derek with so many people on the beach.”
“Okay. Good. Call Jordan. And tell him I haven’t forgotten about the cooking competition. You and he were supposed to be having a challenge in the kitchen. Do you remember? I was going to be the judge.”
“Yes, I remember.”
“Tell him that we should do that tonight. The two of you can cook for Derek and me.”
Sierra called Jordan, and he answered right away. She explained the change in plans and then added Mariana’s reminder about the cooking challenge.
“What do you think? Would you like to demonstrate your culinary skills tonight? I can tell you right now that I’ll win. I mean, just in case you feel intimidated and want to back out.”
Jordan laughed. “I do have to back out, but not because you’ve intimidated me out of the competition.”
“Then what’s your excuse? It better be a good one.”
“It is. I just made dinner plans five minutes ago.”
Jordan explained that he had had a conversation with a scout for a huge company that sponsored all the major surfing competitions. If Jordan were picked up as one of their exclusive photographers, this massive corporation would send him all over the world to shoot surfing competitions. The way he explained the opportunity, it sounded as if it were the very best of the best photography positions he could have in this industry.
“That’s terrific!” Sierra hoped she sounded positive. Jordan sounded very excited.
“The guy’s name is Zach. You met him.”
“I did?”
“He said he talked to you on the beach yesterday, and you told him about Mindy and the accident and how I was a photographer and this was my dream.”
Sierra squeezed her eyes shut. She remembered the guy in the straw beach hat who had come to the water’s edge asking if Derek was okay.
“Sorry. I got a little too chatty with him.”
“No, it was perfect. You paved the way for me. I know he wouldn’t have sought me out this morning if you hadn’t talked to him. Thanks, Sierra.”
“You’re welcome.” She hung up and felt a window of hope closing. Jordan was on his way to the sky’s-the-limit future he had been working toward. Any inklings and nudgings she had felt in the kitchen that morning about Jordan seeing into her heart were destined to end right where they started.
In Derek’s words, “This is where the dream ran outta steam, man.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
The moment Jordan hung up the phone after talking to Sierra he felt a sharp twinge of sadness. It seemed odd, since he was still amped up over the conversation he had had with Zach. What impressed him most was the way Derek had entered into the conversation with strong support and affirmation for Jordan. Zach was from the sponsor corporation Derek had dreamed about being in partnership with once he garnered enough titles on the surfing circuit.
That opportunity would never be there for Derek, and yet he rallied around Jordan with the same enthusiasm as if he were the one being courted and invited to dinner.
“Your life is about to change big-time,” Derek said. “Are you ready for it?”
“Let’s wait and see what Zach has to say tonight before making predictions like that. It’s a volatile business. You’ve taught me that.”
They were standing in the sand watching the enormous waves curl and crash, curl and crash. None of the competitors had gone out yet. Spectators were still arriving in a steady stream, and it seemed some of the competitors were still coming as well.
“Do you wish you were going out there?” Jordan nodded at the ferocious wall of water that had just crested.
“No way.” Derek folded his arms and shook his head. “That stuff is way beyond my skill set. Yesterday, that was my wave. That’ll always be ‘the one.’”
“I’m glad you were able to get over here,” Jordan said. “I’m glad you surfed your wave.”
Derek bobbed his head. “I am a b
lessed man. Very blessed. And I know it.”
Jordan had his camera out and took photos even though no one was in the water yet. “Did you hear that guy talking as we were walking down here from the parking area? He said this bay is like a big swimming pool in the summer. Completely calm. No waves.”
“That’s what I’ve heard.”
“It’s hard to believe when you’re standing here and you can feel the sand under your feet practically vibrate with the pounding force of those waves.”
Jordan kept checking his watch. He realized he needed to get a running start on the traffic if he was going to make it back to Sunset by ten o’clock. After he had taken about a hundred frames of the surf at Waimea, he said, “I’m going to hit the road. Are you okay getting back on your own?”
“Yeah, it’s only a couple of miles. I’ll walk or catch a ride. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”
Jordan thought he caught a hint of extra courage in Derek’s words. He had been doing a great job of saying the right things all morning on how he had had his chance, his wave, a shot at his dream, and now he was content to go home to his wife and baby-on-the-way. As admirable as Derek’s words were, Jordan couldn’t help but feel that his friend had to be more torn up inside than he was letting on.
Remembering how he had told Sierra last night that no one was passing out gold stars for bravery, Jordan wished that weren’t true. He wished he had some sort of gold star he could give his friend for his bravery.
The traffic wasn’t as bad as Jordan thought it would be going north. He arrived on the beach, set up his camera, and talked a bit with some of the other cameramen. One of them asked about Jordan’s girlfriend with the long, golden curls. “Is she coming out here today?”
“No.” Jordan left it at that. He didn’t want to explain that Sierra wasn’t his girlfriend because he didn’t want the other guy to get any ideas about pursuing her. Not that Sierra would respond to just any Joe. She was reserved, inexperienced, and had high standards.
Jordan thought about how reserved and inexperienced he was, and how he, too, had high standards.
How many women like her are left out there?
As the meet continued and Jordan snapped photos, he thought about what it was going to be like traveling around the world, flying first-class, staying at top hotels, and capturing surfing photos in exotic locations.
Then he thought about what it would be like to come home to the image that he saw through the partly open bathroom door last evening. He remembered how Sierra looked, stretched out under the floating particles of dust. He thought about the mermaid picture on his screen saver. Then he remembered the way her eyes looked like aquamarine stained glass the afternoon when he tried to open her hotel room door by mistake and she was standing there with her bare-bottomed nephew in her arms.
She was going to be hard to shake. He knew that. But he had found himself enamored with a few women in the past whose images and memories faded as soon as he put some distance between himself and them. Jordan believed that was how it would be with Sierra. She would go back to Brazil and only be a pleasant part of his memories from this trip.
Maybe, just maybe, he would see her again if the world surfing tour took him to Rio de Janiero. He would see Sierra while he was there, as well as the statue of Christ with His arms open over the city. Now, that would be something to look forward to.
An air horn sounded, and the other photographers packed up their gear.
“Is that it for the day?” Jordan had thought this heat was supposed to last until four o’clock.
“They officially called The Eddie. It’s on,” one of the guys said. “Everyone’s going down there. They’ve got swells coming in with a fifty-foot face.”
Jordan had realized that the swarms of people who arrived that morning were doing so in anticipation of the competition taking place, but apparently it was now a certainty. He made the trek back to the beach house and then joined the masses on the narrow highway, slogging his way back down to Waimea. If he had thought about it and if he could have fit all his equipment in the basket, he would have taken the beach cruiser bike. He would have arrived sooner, that was for sure.
Mariana’s tip about the quiet cove and good swimming beach turned out to be correct. The farther they drove from the massive crowds on the North Shore, the more the highway and the scenery opened up. It was fun riding around in the convertible. The beautiful surroundings seemed close enough to reach out and touch. Sierra was glad they had done this. She loved seeing other parts of the island.
The two of them hauled their beach gear to a spot underneath a gathering of six palm trees that provided a nice half-shade, half-sun spot on the sand. Sierra noticed that the sand wasn’t as fine as the white-sugared sand at Sunset Beach. The reason, she guessed, was because this sand wasn’t subjected to the same intense “spin cycle” as the sand churned up and spewed onto the beach at Sunset.
For the first half an hour both Sierra and Mariana napped, still tired after their late night and the emotional highs and lows they had been going through. They woke when a mom with two grade-school daughters walked up and talked to them as if they were awake and just trying to sunbathe.
“Would you like these? We’re flying back to Oregon tonight.” She held up two pink rafts. Mariana quickly snatched them.
“Come on, Sierra, let’s go float.”
Once they were out on the water, they experienced a welcome moment of hilarity trying to board the rafts. Sierra managed to wrestle the slippery beast first and was on her back with her head on the blow-up pillow as she watched Mariana flip over three times.
“Stop laughing!” Mariana said. “You looked just as ridiculous trying to get on.”
“I’m sure I did, but you will notice that I’m the one who is on now.”
“Braggart! I’ll show you.” Mariana paddled over while holding on to her raft and tried to tip Sierra off her raft. She had no success.
“I had four brothers,” Sierra reminded her. “I learned how to hold my own early in life.”
“Yes, you did.” Mariana remained determined to clamber onto her raft, and her efforts paid off. She mounted the pink pony, stretched out her legs, and put her head on the pillow. “There, not so hard after all.”
“Right,” Sierra said. “Not hard at all.”
“Oh, be quiet.”
They floated on the water, feeling the sun’s reflection as it intensified.
“Can you believe that people live here and do this every day?” Mariana said.
“I doubt that people who live here get to do this sort of leisurely activity every day.”
“Well, they should.”
Mariana paddled closer to Sierra’s raft. “I’ve been thinking about something. I think I made happiness and having fun my entire goal in life.”
Sierra wasn’t going to disagree with her friend there.
“And I think you have done the same thing with Christian ministry. You made that your goal for everything you do.”
Sierra popped her head up. She hadn’t expected Mariana’s comment. “There’s nothing wrong with that,” she protested.
“There can be something very wrong with that. And you are the one who told me this. We are made to love God and serve people. If you start to focus on just serving God, then pretty soon you run out of love for people.”
“I told you that?” Sierra felt unprepared for such a comment.
“Yes, a long time ago. Sierra, lately you have been so worried about how you can serve God. I liked you better when I first met you and you just loved God. Then there were plenty of service things for you to do.”
Sierra remembered Jordan’s comment about gold stars not being handed out and how she didn’t have to prove anything. “Do you think I’m trying to prove something if I stay in Brazil and take that position teaching the children and living in the village?”
“Are you?”
Sierra didn’t answer.
“We both know you can do it
. That’s not the question. You are capable of doing many things. But is that what you were made to do?”
“I don’t know,” Sierra stammered.
“I can tell you how to find out. You taught me this. You ask yourself, does this make my heart happy? Does it give me more energy and joy? Then that’s when you know you are using the gifts God gave you and doing what He created you to do.”
“Where did you get all this?”
“I told you. From you. You told me this.”
“I did? When?”
“I don’t know. Some time when you were talking. Sierra, don’t you see? All these years you have put your words in me as your interpreter. Every word you put into me in English has gone through me before it came out in Portuguese. Every word. I heard it. I listened. I learned so much from you.”
Sierra didn’t know what to say.
“And now I think it’s time for you to learn something from me. I have looked for love for a long time in a lot of places. I know many times over what love is not. And I also know what love is when I see it. You love God. I know that. Now, I think you will be able to love Him even better if you can stop trying to make God proud of you.”
Sierra felt as if the world had stopped. All was silent. The only sound she heard was the whispered echo of Mariana’s last sentence: stop trying to make God proud of you.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Jordan pulled into the driveway at the beach house a little past nine o’clock after his dinner with Zach. He sat for a moment in his rental car thinking about the big decision he had in front of him. It seemed best to get a good night’s sleep and come to a conclusion in the morning.
The smell of wood smoke greeted him as he made his way to the front door. Someone must have lit a campfire on the beach. Jordan entered and discovered the campfire was on their front patio in the in-ground fire pit. He could see Sierra and Mariana on low beach chairs by the fire, but Derek wasn’t with them.
Both the women looked up as Jordan pulled open the screen door.
“Hey, how did it go?” Sierra asked.