TRICK OR TREAT STORIES
John Gatehouse
Copyright 2011 John Gatehouse and Dave Windett
Cover Art - Dave Windett
Chapter 1: A Halloween Story
Welcome, Fear-Fiends, to blood-chilling Monster Mansion…home to Gruesome Ghoulies, Demented Demons and Things That Go…Bump!...in the Night! Bwahahahahahahaaaaaaa!
“Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!”
The dank, dark passageways of Monster Mansion echoed with the shrill, ear-rattling screams of Ralph the Mummy!
“Was’sup?” gasped his dead best friend, Oswald the Ghost, flying out of a wall beside Ralph. “Is Belladonna cooking dinner again?!”
“Worse than that!” groaned Ralph.
He pointed to a wooden door that had been smashed off its hinges, and was now laying in pieces on the floor. Where the door had once stood, there was now a gaping black hole, leading down under the Mansion.
“The Monsters in the Basement have escaped!”
“Oh, no!” wailed Oswald, horrified. “The last time they escaped, they destroyed the entire town!”
Ralph whipped out a cell phone from his rotting bandages.
“Who are you calling?” asked Oswald desperately. “The police? The Army? The Air Force?”
“No,” said Ralph. “I’m calling a cab! I’m outta here! Nothing can stop those monsters! Nothing!”
Through a whistling, chill autumn wind, the church bells chimed The Witching Hour - and a screaming-shrieking-gibbering horde of demonic, hellborn monsters rushed down Gallows Hill towards the defenceless town!
GRRRRRAAAAAHHHHH! they growled.
SNAAAARRRRRLLLL! they bellowed.
And came to a screeching halt when they saw another horde of monsters rushing towards them!
RRRRRRRRRHHHHHH! roared the new set of monsters.
“Waaaah!” screamed the frightened Monsters in the Basement, turning tail and fleeing back the way they had come!
Waiting outside Monster Mansion for their cab, poor Ralph and Oswald were trampled underfoot by the returning Monsters!
“Yaaah!” Ralph wailed, as the terrified Monsters rushed back inside the Mansion, and dived back into the Basement for safety.
“Wow!” gasped a shaken Oswald. “What on earth could have scared those Monsters?!”
“T-T-Take a guess?” gulped Ralph, pointing to the swarm of nightmarish monsters rushing up the hill towards them.
“Aaaaaah!” screamed both Ralph and Oswald, rushing off in a cloud of dust. ZOOOOM!
The monsters reached the top of Gallows Hill, and stopped for a rest.
“What’s wrong with those kids?” asked a young girl, pulling off his monster mask.
All the other townsfolk pulled off their masks, too!
“It is Halloween Night, after all!” said a young boy. “Everyone gets dressed up as monsters! Trick or Treat!”
THE END
Chapter 2: Have Yourself A Scary Little Christmas....!“
‘Tis the night before Christmas and monsters do roam
Slithering down chimneys and under the doors of your home
Hissing and howling they make straight for your bed
To leave you a present…to turn you into one of – The Undead!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!
**********
“Deck the halls with boughs of holly, Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-YEEOOWCH!”
Young Ralph the Mummy let out a blood-curdling “I’ve-just-been-stabbed-in-the-butt-by-a-twig-of-very-sharp-holly!” scream that echoed through the putrefying corridors of Monster Mansion!
“I said deck the halls with holly – not me!” he growled, scowling at the grinning Oswald the Ghost whilst gingerly pulling the holly out from his bottom. TWANG! “Oww!”
“Sorry, Ralph!” giggled Oswald, floating in front of him. “I, um, tripped!”
“Tripped?! You’re a ghost, Ossie! You can’t trip! You did that on purpose!”
A huge white hairy creature with a bad case of dandruff leapt out from the shadows!
“Grrrrrroooowwwwl!” it roared.
“Yaaaaaah!” screamed Ralph and Oswald, leaping back in fright.
The creature was wearing a yellow paper party hat and a necklace of sparkling red tinsel, and he was blowing on an extremely loud party blower.
PAAAAARRRRP!
“Now, now, boys,” Seymour chuckled. “It’s Christmas! A time for peace and love! So stop arguing – or I’ll pound your heads in!”
Seymour was Monster Mansion’s resident Yeti. He believed in kindness and goodwill to everyone – unless you upset him, in which case he would rip you to pieces!
“Seymour!” gulped Ralph. “If we weren’t already dead, you’d have scared us to death!”
Seymour chuckled. “Just getting into the party spirit, dudes! Oooh! Awesome tree!”
Seymour checked over the withered Christmas tree Ralph and Oswald had been busy decorating.
From its desiccated branches dangled giggling shiny shrunken human skulls – “Heeheeheeheeheeeeee!” – small bats’ wings, brightly coloured slimy tentacles and flashing bloodshot eyeballs that dripped real blood! Plop! Plop! Plop!
“Wicked!” cooed Seymour, very impressed. “But isn’t there something…missing…?!”
“I know!” cried Ralph excitedly, rushing over to the decoration box. “The Christmas Fairy! I’ll get it!”
Ralph stuck his arm into the box and – CHOMP!
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!” he shrieked, after a set of razor-sharp fangs had chomped down hard on his arm!
“Ahh! Ahh! Get it off! Get it off!”
Ralph pulled out his arm to reveal a ginormously fat, puke-green and extremely furry vampire slug that was in the process of swallowing his arm right up to his elbow.
“Ahhh! Ahhh! It’s eating me! Ahhhhhh!”
Freaking out, Ralph vigorously shook his arm.
RATTLERATTLERATTLE!
The furry vampire slug lost its grip and shot through the air – ZIIIIP! - pinball-ing against the walls of the Great Hall – PING! PONG! TWING! TWONG! TWANG! – before being devoured by the ravenous darkness!
“Wh-Wh-What was that?!” gulped Ralph, quickly checking that his arm was still attached to his body.
“The Christmas Furry!” said Seymour. “What did you think it was?!”
Ralph groaned. “I hate this place!”
“Cheer up, Dude!” laughed Seymour. “It’s Chrissss-masss!”
He gave the young Mummy a friendly slap on the back – WHAACCK! – that sent Ralph flying off his feet and into the wall!
WHAAAM!
“Uggh!” groaned Ralph.
“Ooops! Sorry!” apologised Seymour, peeling Ralph’s face from the damp, fungus-covered wallpaper. R-I-I-I-I-I-P! “I don’t know my own strength!”
“You should listen to Seymour, Ralph, dearie!” cackled a hideous disembodied voice – like fingernails down a chalkboard multiplied by a thousand decibels. “Christmas comes but once a year, and when it does it brings – great FEAR! Heeheeeheeheeheeeeeee!”
There was an eardrum-popping explosion – KAAA-BOOOOOM! – and a blinding flash of putrid blue smoke that stank worse than an extremely-loud bottom sneeze from an geriatric cat suffering from an acute bout of diarrhoea – FAAAARRRRP! – that threw everyone off their feet!
“Waaaah!” wailed Ralph and Seymour, smashing onto the floor.
BAAAAM!
Oswald was sent flying through three sets of dividing walls!
WHIIISSSH!
“Aaaaah!” he screamed, disappearing from sight.
When the smoke cleared, there stood the grossest, wrinkliest, wart-covered old witch that ever existed!
Dressed all in black, her skin was a
repugnant rancid green!
“Hello, Belladonna!” sighed Ralph, getting back on his feet. “Couldn’t you simply use the door like everyone else?”
“Belladonna be too much in a rush for that, she be!” cackled the completely loopy old hag. “It be Christmas Eve, it be! Belladonna she has hung up her stocking and nows she be wanting to make sure Father Christmas comes and fills it with presents! Heeheeheeheeheeheeeeee!”
“Hmm! Belladonna does have a point,” conceded Seymour. “Santa didn’t visit Monster Mansion last year.”
“Or the year before,” added Oswald, floating back through the wall.
“Or the year before that,” agreed a hugely disappointed Ralph. “In fact, I can’t remember him ever visiting Monster Mansion!”
Belladonna whipped out her wand, which fizzed with dark demonic energies!
FIIIIIZZZZZZZ
“So Belladonna be a-takin’ ye all on a trip to the North Pole to find out why! Hold tight!”
“NOOOOO!” screamed the boys, remembering the last time they had allowed Belladonna to magic them somewhere.
“First we ended up on the moon!” groaned Oswald.
“And then inside Mount Vesuvius just as it erupted in AD 79, destroying the Roman cities of Pompeii and Herculaneum!” said Seymour, who knew all about these things.
“And all we wanted to do was pop down the shops for a carton of milk!” squeaked Ralph.
But Belladonna wasn’t listening!
“Viper’s tongue, snout