of mole,” she incanted. “Take us all…to the North Pole! Haahaahaahaahaahaaaaaa!”
There was a blinding flash…FAAASSSH! …and Ralph, Oswald and Seymour found themselves at the North Pole, standing on an enormous ice floe.
It was almost pitch-dark, and they were being battered by a heart-stopping arctic blizzard of blinding snow and ice!
WHIIIIISSSSS-IIIIISSSSS-IIIIISSSSSH!
“Aaaaah! It’s f-f-freezing!” howled Ralph.
“We’re dead, Ralph,” said Oswald. “We can’t feel cold.”
“Oh, yeah,” giggled Ralph, embarrassed. “I forgot!”
Belladonna pointed towards an oversized igloo. Outside was a large sign that read: SANTA’S GROTTO.
“That be where we be finding Father Christmas, Belladonna reckons!” she hissed.
“You reckon?” snorted Seymour.
Parked outside the grotto were several thousand sleighs.
Each sleigh was filled with dozens of voluminous sacks that were overflowing with gaily-wrapped presents of all shapes and sizes.
Ralph stared longingly at them.
“Perhaps one of these sacks is for us?”
“Pft! I doubt it, buddy,” snorted Oswald, floating around the sleighs, inspecting each sack in turn. “We don’t have that sort of – luck!”
Oswald gave a delighted yelp, pointing to a brightly decorated label hanging from one of the sacks.
“Hey! These presents are for our town!”
Excitedly, he disappeared through the sack – ZIIIIP! - appearing moments later out the other side. ZIIIIIP!
“But there are no presents for Monster Mansion!” he wailed. “It’s not fair!”
“Ho! Ho! Ho! I think it’s extremely fair!” bellowed a deep jovial voice behind them, making everyone jump.
Father Christmas strode out of his grotto, carrying another gargantuan sack filled with toys and gifts.
“Santa!” cheered Seymour excitedly. “It’s great to see you! I’ve always wanted to make your acquaintance!”
“A pleasure to meet you, too, Seymour!” chuckled Father Christmas. “I’ve heard good things about you! And young Ralph and Oswald, of course! Splendid fellows!”
“Wait a minute!” growled a rather snippety Oswald. “If we’re such “splendid fellows” how come you never bring us any presents?!”
Santa’s smile dropped. He gave Belladonna a withering glare.
“What ye be looking at Belladonna for?” she hissed poisonously. “Belladonna, she ain’t done nothin’ wrong!”
“Tt! As if!” snorted Father Christmas, pulling out a colossal roll of paper from inside his red suit.
Slipping on his bifocals, he began to read out loud, ticking off the list as he went through it:
“Turning falling snowflakes into deadly giant tarantulas! Check!
“Casting a spell to make all politicians suck their thumb for a day! Check!
“Making school dinners explode in children’s faces! Check!
“Magicking a fire-breathing dragon that burst out of little Deliah Dumple’s 6th birthday cake and subsequently burnt down her house! Check!”
“The cheeky brat stuck out her tongue to Belladonna, she did! ‘Tis only fair Belladonna gets her back!”
“Changing old Mrs Pumpernickel’s kitten’s head into a savage demon’s head! Check!
“Releasing hundreds of balloons filled with gooey dogs’ droppings all over the town and then making them burst! Check!”
“Ewww!” grimaced Oswald. “I wondered what that horrible smell was! I thought it was Ralph!
“Cheek!” said Ralph.
“Mixing the blood of a werewolf and the sap of a daisy to create giant were-daisies to rampage through the town…turning the Tooth Fairy into a rotting tooth…giving all humans a 24-hour maddening itch…check! Check! And…check!” growled a very stern Father Christmas. “And all that was only in the past week!”
“Wells, Belladonna, she’s been busy with other things! Otherwise, shes’ could have been much more nasty than that! Heeheeheeheeeeee!”
“And this,” said Father Christmas, turning his attention back to the boys. “Is why Monster Mansion is never on my Christmas delivery list.”
“B-B-But we’re good!” protested Ralph. “Well…sort off...!”
“Yes, Ralph,” agreed Santa. “You are. “Sort of.” But all of Belladonna’s outrageous naughtiness outweighs all the good things you do.”
He smiled warmly.
“Tell you what! If you can make Belladonna behave – even for just one week - then perhaps next year, you’ll get on my Good list!”
“Huh!” snorted Seymour. “That’s us crossed off next year then!”
“Wells, Belladonna, she ain’t be leaving here without some presents!” growled Belladonna. “She be a-takin’ them and ye can’t stop her!”
“Yes, I can!” said Father Christmas, clicking his fingers.
CLICK!
In an eye-blink – BLINK! – a giant snowman appeared beside him!
The snowman raised his arms and - PTOOM! PTOOM! PTOOM!
Large snowballs shot out of his hands, smacking Belladonna straight in the face!
SPLAAT! SPLOOF! SPLIIIF!
“Waagh!” she gurgled, knocked flying off her feet!
“Ooooh! Wanna play rough, do ye?!” growled Belladonna, pointing her wand at the ground. ZAAAP!
The ground SCREAMED! And SHOOK! And SPLIT ASUNDER! KRRRAAAKKK-AAAAA-DOOOOOM!
Bursting forth from the depth’s of the North Pole’ frozen wastelands was a 12 metres long terrifying – Ice Serpent! KAAAAA-FOOOOOOOOOM!
“RRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!” it roared, letting out a mammoth puff of air at Absolute Zero, or minus - 275.15 degrees centigrade!
HUUUUUFFFFF!
Blasted by the Ice Serpent’s frigid breath, Santa and the snowman were instantly frozen inside a solid block of ice! KKKKRRRRKKKK!
“Belladonna!” squeaked a horrified Ralph. “You’ve frozen – Santa!”
“B-B-But if Santa’s frozen, he can’t deliver presents to all the good little boys and girls!” gulped Oswald.
“Serves ‘em right!” cackled the demented witch. “That’ll teach ‘em to be so goody-goody! Theys should learn to be more nasty and spiteful and rotten – just like Belladonna! Heeheeheeheeheeheeheeee!”
She pointed to the presents on the sleigh.
“But Belladonna, she won’t be being greedy! She only be taking the town’s presents! Santa can deliver the rest when he thaws out!”
“But that could take months!” spluttered Seymour.
“Sos’? The revolting kiddiewinks will just have to have Christmas cancelled this year! Haahaahaahaahaahaahaahaahaaaa!”
She waved her wand and – POOOF! – both the monsters and the sleigh full of presents returned to Monster Mansion!
*****
Christmas Day, and Monster Mansion was filled with jolly festive music.
Everyone was having great fun unwrapping their presents.
“Wow! Another mountain bike!” cheered Ralph excitedly, ripping off the paper. “That’s my third one!”
“And this is my twenty-seventh smart phone!” squealed a delighted Seymour, before tossing the present onto a pile of unwanted smart phones in the corner of the dining room. “Whatever else you say about humans, they do have great taste in expensive presents!”
Oswald gave a guilty smile. “Yeah, but I awful about stealing all these presents,” he said.
“Oh, hokum!” snorted Belladonna. “Belladonna, she didn’t leave the humans without any presents!”
“You didn’t?” asked Seymour, relieved.
“No! Belladonna, she don’t be that cruel! She gave everyone a packet of magical ‘Grow Your Own’ seeds! All theys need do is add water and up they pop!”
“Well, it’s not much of a present, but its better than nothing, I suppose,” said Oswald. “Grow your own what? Flowers? Fruit? Vegetables?”
“Nos, silly!”
snickered Belladonna, seconds before everyone heard terrified screams of abject horror and terror echoing up Gallows Hill!
EEEEEEEEEEK! AIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
“Grow Your Own Monsters! What else?! Haahaahaahaahaahaaaaaa!”
“Oh, no!” cried Ralph.
The boys rushed to the front door and peered nervously outside.
Down in the town, they could see hundreds of hideous, frightful and downright disgusting monsters of all colours, shapes and sizes rampaging through the streets!
They were ripping up trees, tearing down buildings and destroying everything in their path!
RRRRGGGGHHHH! HOWWWWWWL! SNNNAAAAARRRRRLL!!
SMAAASSSH! CRRRAAASSSH! BAAASSSH!
“Oh, Belladonna!” groaned Ralph. “What have you done?!”
“Merry Christmas!” Belladonna cackled happily. “And a terrifying blood-curdling Christmas – to everyone! Heeheeheeheeheeheeheeeee!”
THE END
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