It was awful. Experiencing the news with Clayton was almost as bad as learning about it all over again for herself.
“I’ve got to speak to her.”
Eddie shook her head.
“Tag,” she said in a low voice, “please wait. Come to the house tonight. Come late when Jackie will be in bed. Robert and I will wait up for you.”
He opened his mouth to protest, but Eddie shook her head.
“It won’t work, Tag, not like this on the streets of town. She wouldn’t be able to deal with the surprise, and I won’t do that to her. Please come tonight,” she pleaded, praying that Clayton would understand.
Clayton looked once again at the back of Jackie’s head. The buggy was parked a little way up the street. He had to force his eyes away.
“What time?”
“After nine. Do you know where we live?”
“I’ll find it.”
With that Eddie turned and moved away. She forced herself to respond normally to her sister, but it was an effort. She was glad that Jackie wanted to sew that afternoon. Had she wanted anything more demanding, Eddie would not have survived.
Robert took one look at his wife’s face and knew that her day had been rough. He also knew that she didn’t want to talk about it in Jackie’s presence. Her voice was just a little too cheerful as they ate and did the dishes, so as soon as Jackie went into the other room, Robert speared her with his eyes.
Eddie wouldn’t look at him. She was not afraid, but she knew she was going to cry and that Jackie would hear her.
“Talk to me, Eddie,” he said softly, his eyes on her profile.
“Later.”
“No. If you’re this upset, I need to know what’s going on.”
Eddie took a deep breath and shook her head.
Robert gently took her arm and moved her out the back door. It was private out on the rear porch, and Robert could still hear if Jackie called to them.
“If you don’t tell me what’s going on, I’ll be forced to ask Jackie directly. What has she done?”
Eddie shook her head, and could no longer hold the tears. “Clayton Taggart is here,” she whispered.
Robert looked thunderstruck. “You saw him?”
“And talked to him.”
He let this sink in for a moment, and then asked, “What did Jackie say?”
More tears choked her voice for a moment. “She doesn’t know. He wanted to talk to her, but I discouraged him. He’s coming by later, after she’s retired. In all this time she’s never said a word about him. Why is he here, Robert?”
“Maybe he wanted to see her and tell her how sorry he was about the accident.”
Again Eddie shook her head. “He didn’t know. When he saw her he was so shocked he could barely function. Why is he here?”
Light dawned very swiftly. “You never wrote to him about the accident, did you?”
“No, and I think my family has lost all touch with his.”
“The school.”
“What?”
Robert took her hands in his. “I’ll bet he’s been hired on to teach school. I’m not involved, of course, but I know the board was looking for a new teacher.”
“Oh, Robert, what does this all mean?”
He now took her in his arms. “I don’t know exactly, but if he’s graduated and is now able to teach, then he might be the answer to our prayers.”
“Eddie,” Jackie’s voice preceded her as she moved slowly into the kitchen, something clutched in her hand. “Are you in the pantry, Eddie?”
“No,” Robert answered and stood back so his wife could enter. “We were just on the back porch.”
“Oh. Well, I can’t get this knot out of my thread. Will you help me?”
“Sure,” Robert offered, giving Eddie a chance to compose herself. “I’ll have to remove the needle, I think.”
Jackie stood silently and waited. She heard Eddie move then and spoke to her.
“Is that you, Eddie?”
“Yes.”
“I think this is my last one. I don’t know what I’m going to do tomorrow with nothing to sew or mend.”
Robert’s eyes met Eddie’s for just an instant.
“We’ll think of something,” Eddie assured her.
The thread now adjusted and the needle back in place, Eddie offered Jackie her arm. It wasn’t often that they led her around or waited on her, but Eddie felt a desperate need to touch her sister. She didn’t know how she could act normally until Jackie went to bed and Clayton arrived, but Robert came to the rescue. He’d picked up a letter from Morgan when he left the bank. The women sat across the living room from him while he read.
Dear Robert, Ed, and Jack, business is booming and it seems that new strikes are found almost daily. As usual, we sell more mining supplies than food. One of the mine owners stopped his team of mules in front of the store recently and left a huge mess for me to clean, but as I said, business is good.
New houses are being built as well, and the latest is a bright yellow one almost next door to us. A young couple has moved into Uncle Mitch’s apartment. They have a small baby, and your mother frets that the little guy will fall down the stairs. You were all raised around stairs; she’s starting to sound like a grandmother.
We miss you, Jack, very much, but are thrilled you’re getting out. I would enjoy seeing the general store there in Boulder. It never hurts to check out the competition. Miss Bradley has left us, but the new schoolteacher has already been installed. A man this time, and he has two boys and a girl who match the ages of Sam, Dan, and Alex. They’ve gotten to know each other some, and your mother has met his wife at church. His name escapes me right now, but I’ll think of it later.
Your mother and Ora are making a quilt together, and she is there now because Ora has a large quilting frame. I’m supposed to be helping Sam with her math, but she fell asleep and I carried her to bed. Oh, I think I hear your mother coming in now. I’ll close and let her write more to you later.
Love to each of you,
Father
Robert set the letter aside and smiled at his wife. Jackie did not comment, and not long after she took herself upstairs for the night.
Clayton had never experienced anything like this. His heart felt as if it had been torn in two. One half rejoiced that Jackie was not in love with someone else, but the other half could hardly bear the pain of what had happened to her. He wasn’t angry; indeed, he thought he understood. If it had been him, would he have assumed that Jackie wanted a blind husband? The question took some real soul-searching.
His stomach growled as the house came into view. He hadn’t wanted anything to eat after he talked to Eddie, and even now his stomach felt a mite queasy. Not with revulsion but with pain.
He was at the house now. Clayton tied Sally’s lead to a bush and climbed the front-porch stairs to the door. Darkness was falling fast, but he could see his way. He knocked and waited. How could he get this close and not see her? Eddie said she would be in bed, but Clayton hoped she would be wrong. Eddie opened the door, and without words she stepped back and let him enter. A large fireplace sat against the right wall of the entryway and to the left was the double-doorway to the living room.
“I’ll take your hat, Clay.” Eddie spoke softly, bringing Clayton’s eyes to hers just briefly. If he was here out of pity for her sister, she’d tell him to leave. Eddie herself didn’t know where this fierce, protective attitude came from, but Clayton could see that his hostess was ill-at-ease.
“Robert is in the study. If you’ll just—” Eddie stopped, and her head twisted around.
Slowly descending the stairs was Jackie. She was moving with deliberate care, her hand on the railing. Eddie shot a swift glance at Clayton, but he had eyes for Jackie alone. Eddie nearly panicked, thinking he would speak and ruin everything. They were both watching the blind girl when she missed the last step and fell into a heap.
Clayton moved so quickly to help her that Eddie had to step in front
of him, arms outstretched. She spoke swiftly to cover the noise.
“Are you all right, Jackie?”
“Yes.” She sounded more angry than hurt.
“Do you want some help?”
“No.” Her answer was clipped.
A moment of silence passed, and Jackie turned her head slightly. “Are you alone, Eddie?”
“No.” Again she tried to sound normal.
“Male or female?”
“Male.”
“Are my legs covered?”
“Yes.”
Jackie came to her feet then, feeling her way carefully. Eddie said, “I thought you were going to bed.”
“I am, but I forgot my water glass.”
“I’ll get it for you.”
Eddie moved off quickly, but not before she gave Clayton a look that told him he had better stay quiet. She was back very swiftly, an empty glass in her hand.
“Here you go.”
“Thanks, Eddie.”
“Good-night, Jackie.”
“Good-night.”
Once again they watched, only this time Jackie eventually moved from view. The look on Clayton’s face broke Eddie’s heart. With nothing but compassion she took his arm and led him to the study.
32
Clayton was trembling so badly by the time he reached the spacious study that he could barely walk. Robert immediately offered him a chair.
He had thought it would help. He had thought if he could just see her he would feel better, but the sight of Jackie sitting in a heap was almost more than he could bear. If he’d been able to go to her, he might have been all right, but as it was, he felt as helpless as she must feel all the time.
Tears gathered in his eyes. He might have cried earlier in the day, but he’d been too shocked. Now he wanted to sob like a child, much the way he’d done when Jackie wrote and said she’d found someone new. At last he looked up to see his hosts watching him. Had only a few moments passed? They looked kind, and he felt free to speak.
“My mother commented to me several times that Addy had stopped writing her. It was the same for Danny’s correspondence with Milly. I never once suspected that Jackie’s letter might not be true.”
“She wrote to you?” Eddie asked. “You knew?”
“No, I don’t think she did write. She must have had someone else.”
“But you did know about the blindness?” Robert asked.
Clayton shook his head. He knew he was making very little sense. “A letter came to me saying she’d met someone else and that she never wanted to hear from me or see me again.”
Robert and Eddie both nodded. It was sad that Jackie hadn’t told him the truth, but neither one of them was surprised. Eddie thought about how closely Lexa’s handwriting resembled Jackie’s. It was not hard to figure out.
“How long has it been?” Clayton now asked.
“The date was late September, so that would be almost ten months,” Eddie responded.
“How did it happen?”
“She fell from a ladder in the back room of the store. She landed flat on her back. The doctor said it was the blow to the back of the head that did the damage.”
“And she’ll never see again?”
“Never,” Robert told him quietly. They both watched as Clayton was overcome. He put his face in his hands and cried.
“Is she in pain now?” Clayton managed, tears still streaming down his face.
“No,” Robert assured him. “They said she might have headaches beyond the first few weeks, and that would have been a good sign because it might mean that things were only damaged and not ruptured, but her lack of pain means that it’s permanent.”
Clayton nodded. He was feeling more in control now, and a thousand questions raced through his mind. Before he could utter one of them, however, Robert had some of his own.
“I’m sorry you had to find out this way, Clay, but may I ask what brings you to Boulder?”
Clayton used his handkerchief and took a deep breath. “I’ve been hired to teach here at the school.”
Robert nodded. “Congratulations. I know it’s what you’ve wanted for a long time.”
“Yes.” Clayton agreed with him but did not sound overjoyed.
“You’re here rather early for school, Clay. Is there a reason for that?”
“I just wanted to get settled in.” He sounded almost apologetic.
“So you’re not actually working until this fall?”
“That’s correct.”
Robert shot a glance at his wife, but she was looking at Clayton. He knew he was taking a chance and prayed that she would not be upset.
“Jackie didn’t retire until right before you came, Clay, so Eddie and I haven’t even had a chance to talk about this, but I wonder if I could hire you for the summer and even into the school year.”
Both other occupants of the room stared at him, and Robert tried to tell Eddie with his eyes to trust him.
“Hire me to do what?”
“Teach Jackie.”
Eddie came to her feet, and Robert stood as well.
“It’s all right, Eddie,” he said gently.
“No, it’s not, Robert,” Eddie told him, completely forgetting Clayton’s presence. “We can’t do this to her. She was in love with him, and she won’t be able to stand it. She’ll be humiliated, having him here but not having his love anymore.”
Clayton interrupted with a statement that completely snagged Eddie’s attention. She stared at him in wonder, but saw the truth in his eyes.
She had to ask him, “What do you intend to do about it?”
“For starters,” he replied, “I’ll take up Robert’s offer to teach your sister.”
He turned back to Robert.
“When do you want me to start?”
“As soon as you can come.”
Clayton’s eyes searched the room but didn’t really focus. “They don’t teach you this at school,” he nearly murmured to himself. “I mean, they assume all your students will have vision, but I think I can work this out. Can you give me a week?”
“Yes. In fact, just do what you can and get back to me. I see now that I shouldn’t have surprised Eddie. In a week, you’ll know if you can do it, and Eddie and I will either be in one accord on this or we’ll forget the whole thing.”
“All right.”
“I hope you know that it’s not you, Tag,” Eddie said, finding her voice.
“I know, Eddie,” he replied kindly.
“She’s just been through so much and I know how upset she’ll be if Robert suggests this.”
“It won’t be any party for me, either,” he said quietly.
Eddie had to admit that she hadn’t thought of his feelings.
“We’ll all pray about this,” Robert said, “and see if we can come to an agreement.”
“What if Jackie says no,” Clayton wanted to know.
Robert shook his head. “If Eddie and I decide this is the best for her, she won’t be given a choice.”
Clayton stared at him. “The Jackie I know wouldn’t put up with that.”
Robert shook his head a bit sadly. “She’s not the same girl, Clay—that might be the first thing you should know. And I’m not promising this will be easy. More than likely she’ll fight you every step of the way.”
“But you would want me to maintain control, just like in a classroom.”
“Yes.”
“No.” Husband and wife said the words in unison and then looked at each other.
“If he isn’t firm enough with her, Eddie, she’ll never respond.”
“I can’t see her crushed, Robert. No matter what, I can’t see her crushed.” Tears had come to her eyes, and Robert reached for her hand. He knew it upset her to have Clayton see them.
“I wouldn’t do that, Eddie,” Clayton said without heat. “I’m not that kind of teacher. I mean, there’s going to be an adjustment time, that’s a given, but I have no plans to humiliate any of my students, and
that includes Jackie. However, I know very well what she’s capable of and how intelligent she is, so my standard will be high.”
Eddie suddenly felt more tired than she’d ever been in her life, and it must have shown on her face because Clayton made a move to leave. He bade Eddie goodbye, and Robert saw him to the door. Robert returned to put the lights out in the study and found Eddie sitting trancelike in a chair. He assumed she’d have gone up the back stairway to their room. She looked utterly drained.
“Eddie, if it’s going to upset you this much, we’ll drop the whole idea.”
“I’m just so tired.” She began to cry. “I can’t even think straight right now.”
Robert lifted her to her feet and then into his arms. He forgot about the lights and simply carried her up the stairs. Eddie cried the whole time he was getting her ready for bed and even after her head lay on the pillow.
“Just go to sleep.”
“But you’ll be gone in the morning, and I won’t be able to talk to you.”
“I’ll make some time,” he promised her, really worried at how this had upset her. “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you first,” he told her, but she was already gone. Her breathing was a bit shuddery, but she was asleep. He told himself he would make things right in the morning.
But in the morning, Eddie was of an entirely different mind. She woke early and prayed for almost an hour. She then woke Robert and told him her heart.
“I think Tag should come.”
“What changed your mind?”
“I wasn’t really against it, Robert. I just couldn’t put any more thought to it last night.”
“But what of your fears? They might have some validity.”
“No, they don’t; I know that now. Clay would not hurt her, and if he wasn’t firm with her, she’d have him waiting on her hand and foot. We’ve been asking God for weeks to show us a new direction, and I can’t help but believe this is His answer.” Eddie lay in the crook of her husband’s arm. “When should I tell her?”
“I’ll tell her,” Robert said. “You can be there if you like. I’ll probably wait until early next week, after I’ve talked to Clay.”