“But…” Nina shook her head. “But almost right after you put it on we had our first encounter with the Feeling People. You were having…all kinds of extreme emotions. To the point where I had to knock you out!”
“Which made the collar think it could expect a constant stream of heightened emotion from me,” he said grimly. “It was satiated for a good long time by that first burst of fear and anger and pain I felt before you knocked me out, but now it’s hungry again. The fight we had tonight was like a Goddess damned appetizer to it—got it going. So now it’s telling me to feed it or it’ll feed its own damn self.”
“Feed it how?” Nina asked, feeling sick.
Reddix took a deep breath, his broad, bare shoulders rolling in the flickering firelight. The thin fur blanket wrapped around his waist was still his only clothing, and in the dim room, he looked huge.
“You’re going to have to shock me again,” he said. “At least once more.”
“What? No!” She took a step back, wrapping her arms protectively around herself. “I’ve already shocked you a lot more than I ever wanted to.”
“You only did it twice. Once to save me from having my brain overload and once to keep me from…” He cleared his throat. “From hurting you.”
“Exactly. And that last time was earlier tonight. Shouldn’t that made the stupid collar happy?”
“Apparently not.” Reddix picked up the controller and tried to press it into her hand. “Probably because it didn’t last long enough. Here—do it.”
“No!” Nina backed away again. “No, I won’t do it.”
“You have to—the one holding the collar is rendered unable to control it,” he insisted. “Besides, I’d rather be able to brace myself and know what was coming than have the damn thing just shock me at random intervals.”
“But…I don’t want to hurt you,” Nina whispered. “Maybe we should try to take it off again.”
“And let it shock you too, like it did when you tried to take it off while I was unconscious? No.” He frowned. “Look, when we get in contract with them, I’ll ask my Kindred brothers to bring a universal key with them when they come to collect us. Until then, it’s either pick my time to get shocked or let this damn collar shock me whenever the hell it feels like it.”
“Maybe it’s had enough now,” she said stubbornly. “It might leave you alone for the rest of the night.”
“Or it might fucking not,” he growled. He lowered his voice to a more gentle tone. “Come on, Nina…don’t make me beg. I could be seriously injured if it surprises me again. I nearly bit my tongue in two that last time.”
She shook her head again. “But—wait a minute.” An idea was beginning to take root. “You said it feeds on extreme emotions, right?”
He nodded. “That’s right.”
“But not necessarily negative emotions,” Nina clarified.
“I suppose not.” He shrugged. “Though I’m pretty sure most of the poor bastards wearing a Hurkon collar aren’t feeding it with ‘happy thoughts.’ Why?”
“Because. I think I know another way to feed it—a way to satisfy its appetite.” Nina took a step toward him, looking up into his shadowed face. The flickering firelight didn’t reach his features. All she could see of him were his hooded silver eyes.
“What are you talking about, Nina?” he growled hoarsely. “How else am I supposed to feed the damn thing?”
“Like this.” And standing on her tiptoes, she kissed him.
Chapter Twenty-two
Reddix’s heart was pounding, and his shaft was suddenly thick and aching under the thin fur blanket. He wanted to kiss Nina back—wanted to grab her and do much more than kiss her. But this time he was able to restrain himself.
“What the fuck…” he growled, moving deliberately away from her. “Do you think you’re doing?”
“Feeding the collar.” Her eyes were large and luminous in the gold and blue light of the dying fire’s flames, and her long dark hair was tumbled around her shoulders. Gods, she was so beautiful it made him ache to look at her!
“I appreciate the thought, but I don’t think that’s going to work,” Reddix growled, forcing himself to keep his distance.
“You’re wrong,” she said softly. “The lights on the collar went crazy when I kissed you just now. The same way they did when you were…uh, kissing me earlier.”
He raised an eyebrow at her. “You mean when I had you pinned to the bed and you had to shock me to get free?”
Nina bit her lip. “They were flashing before that. In fact, they flashed a lot faster when you were…during the kissing than they did when I shocked you.”
He frowned. “If that’s true there might be something to the idea of feeding it with positive emotions. But why?”
* * * * *
“Maybe because it lasts longer,” Nina said reasonably. “The jolts of pain it gives you only last a split second. Whereas if you were doing something else…something pleasurable…” She felt her cheeks getting hot. “Well, you could kind of draw that out. You could make it last longer. A lot longer.”
“And what exactly do you recommend to feed the collar and to make it last?” His deep voice was a hoarse growl, and Nina felt he was holding himself back by force of will.
“I could touch you…kiss you,” she said, holding her ground though it wasn’t easy. Suddenly, he looked so big and so extremely half-naked looming up in front of her.
“Oh?” Reddix took a step toward her.
“You’d have to swear not to…to do anything I didn’t want you to,” Nina said in a rush, fighting the urge to back up. “I need to know I can trust you before I do anything like this. And…I think we need to have limits.”
“Limits.” He nodded, a thoughtful look in his silver eyes. “Yes. Limits are good.”
“Then…” Nina’s mouth was so dry she could barely talk, but she forced the words out anyway. “Then I’ll…help you. As long as you lie down on the bed and let me set the limits.”
He appeared to consider for a moment, and finally, he nodded.
“All right. I accept your terms.” He went and laid down on the bed, face up with his arms over his head. “Do you want to use the restraints like you did in the ship?”
Nina thought about it but shook her head.
“No, I think I can trust you.”
“But can I trust myself?” he muttered. “You have no idea what your soft little hands on my body do to me.”
“It’s what they do for the collar—that’s all I’m interested in,” Nina said, trying to sound professional, like she was simply going to give him a massage. But inside she knew she’d been wanting to do this for a very long time—maybe even from the first time she’d dreamed of him.
Shouldn’t be doing this…she told herself. But the mouthwatering sight of his muscular, half-naked body drew her like a magnet. The thin fur blanket was barely draped over his hips, and she could already see a distinct tent under it—clearly the idea of letting her touch him all over was turning Reddix on like crazy.
Almost as much as it was turning her on.
Still…she really shouldn’t get herself into such an intimate situation with the man who had kidnapped her. Then set some limits—just like you said, whispered a little voice. Lay down some rules before you get started.
Yes, that was the thing to do—lay down the rules.
“Okay,” she said, climbing onto the bed beside him. “Here’s how it’s going to be: I’ll touch you—you are not going to touch me in any way in return. Got it?”
“Agreed,” he rumbled, nodding.
“Second,” Nina continued, “You have to lie perfectly still with your hands above your head, just like they are now.”
He nodded again. “Is there a third stipulation?”
“Well, yes.” Nina took a deep breath. “I want it understood that I’m just doing this to help you with the collar. It’s not…not personal.” Not that she didn’t want it to be personal, but she couldn’t
let herself go there with him—not if she wanted to keep her heart intact.
He studied her for a moment, and his eyes hardened.
“Fine,” he said at last. “I agree that it’s nothing personal.”
For some reason, Nina’s heart tightened, but she forced herself to nod.
“Good.”
“Good,” he echoed. “So go ahead—test your theory. I have a feeling if you don’t get started soon the damn collar will take matters into its own hands—if you know what I mean.”
“I do. Okay, here goes.”
Nina took another deep breath, her hands hovering over his chest.
Just think of it as a massage, she told herself. Pretend you’re back at Massage Envy giving a difficult patient a relaxation massage.
Only Reddix was a lot more than difficult—he was angry and tortured and twisted by years of pain. Not to mention so gorgeous it hurt to look at him. Even the scars he’d inflicted on himself somehow didn’t detract from his physical beauty. The white scars were like wounds from his own personal war—a war he’d been in for so long he’d forgotten how to be normal.
“Well?” he asked, and she realized Nina was taking too long to get started.
Stop psyching yourself out and just do it, she commanded herself. Closing her eyes, she put her hands on the warm, hard wall of his chest and began to rub in long, slow strokes. He had a small patch of black hair between the flat copper disks of his nipples—it felt slightly rough under his fingers and led in a narrow trail down his tight abdomen and under the thin fur blanket.
Nina let her fingers wander, absorbing the feel of him through her hands. She touched people all day long for a living but never like this. As much as she tried to tell herself otherwise, touching Reddix, stroking his big body, was different—personal. She could almost feel the years of torment and hurt trapped under his skin. Could almost sense his deep, unspoken longing to be touched…cared for. God, he was so broken inside—and she wanted so desperately to fix him…
Reddix made a low sound in his throat, and Nina froze and opened her eyes.
“Is everything all right? Did I hurt you?”
“Never.” He shook his head. “It’s just…been a long time.”
“I understand,” she murmured. The hunger was back in his silver eyes, and she thought she could understand now how he could have lost control earlier. Really, it had been incredibly callous of her to suggest massaging him without thinking about how long it had been since he was able to enjoy any kind of casual touch, not to mention sex. Most men she knew were climbing the walls if they went without for a week, and Reddix hadn’t been with anyone for over ten years. Not that she was volunteering herself to break his dry spell—that would be way too personal. But still…
“How’s the collar doing?” he asked, his voice slightly hoarse as she continued to rub his chest and shoulders.
“Okay, I guess.” Nina frowned, studying the black wire contraption around his strong throat. “The lights are blinking but not very fast like they do when it seems to be, uh, feeding.”
He shook his head. “That’s it then—this isn’t working.”
“It has to,” Nina protested. “I think maybe I just have to touch you, uh…”
“More intimately?” He raised an eyebrow at her, and she felt her face getting hot.
“Yeah. Pretty much,” she mumbled, feeling suddenly ashamed. “I’m sorry—this makes me feel like such a freaking pervert.”
“Don’t,” he said simply.
But Nina couldn’t help it. “I just want you to know I didn’t suggest this so I could, uh, take advantage of you,” she went on, hastily. “I would never—”
He laughed softly, a deep rumble that seemed to come from the very bottom of his broad chest.
“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. In a choice between painful electrical shocks and being ‘taken advantage of’ by a beautiful female, which one do you think I’d choose?”
Nina allowed herself a small smile. “Okay, good point. Well then, here goes.”
Biting her lip, she moved her hands lower, sliding over his trim, narrow hips and under the blanket.
* * * * *
Reddix sucked in a breath as her soft little hands disappeared from sight and tensed for the feeling of those slender fingers wrapping around his cock. But Nina didn’t go there—not yet. Instead, she skirted around the throbbing shaft and continued down to his thighs, sliding her fingertips close but never quiet touching the area where he ached for her.
Gods… He had to bite back a groan. Did she have any idea what she was doing to him? His whole body felt like a dessert that hadn’t seen rain in years and her soft, caressing hands were the life-giving moisture he needed. He wanted to beg for her touch, but his tongue seemed stuck to the roof of his mouth. All he could do was lie there and pray she wouldn’t stop.
Nina continued down his thighs and legs in long, slow strokes. It wasn’t until she got to his feet and ankles that she paused for a moment and looked up at him.
“What?” he asked hoarsely after half a minute. “Why did you stop?”
“Just assessing the collar.” Her cheeks were pink, and her pupils were dilated in the dim room, making her eyes look like stars. “It seems to be blinking faster but still not fast enough. How…” She cleared her throat. “How would you feel if I took off your blanket? It might be easier to, uh, see what I was doing.”
Reddix shrugged though inside his heart was pounding like it wanted to knock a hole in his ribs.
“Fine with me, sweetheart. You’ve already seen and handled the equipment before,” he reminded her.
“Yes, but that was different,” she protested. “Then I was just, uh, helping you out. This time I’ll be…”
“Still just helping me out. But in a different way.” Reddix gave her a half-smile. “Listen if you’re worried I’ll snap again, I promise I won’t. I’m in complete control—hands still over my head—see?” He wiggled his fingers to show her.
Nina nodded. “Right. God, this would totally get me fired if I was with a client.”
Reddix felt his chest get tight. “Is that what I am to you during this—just a client?”
“No.” She looked away, her face hidden by her hair. “No, you’re…more. You shouldn’t be, but…” She shook her head without finishing. Then she started to touch him again.
Slim, lovely fingers moved slowly and sensuously up his ankles, calves and inner thighs until Reddix felt like he was going to explode. And then Nina pulled the blanket aside, revealing his aching shaft.
“Spread your legs,” she murmured, sliding her fingertips around him. “Let me work on you.”
With a low groan, Reddix did as she commanded. His hands curled into fists, and his breath began to come short as her soft hand encircled him, her fingers trying and failing to get all the way around his girth. Then she began to pump him slowly…very slowly…a sensuous up and down slide he thought would drive him crazy.
Nina seemed fascinated by what she was doing, and Reddix couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight. She was so beautiful, bending over him with her long dark hair hanging around her slender shoulders. The thin fur dress clung to every curve making him ache to touch her back, to explore every inch of her. But he was mindful of her rules and kept his hands above his head, not daring to move an inch.
It had been so long since a female touched him like this, but that wasn’t the only reason his heart was pumping so hard. It was the fact that it was Nina touching him. He’d had a few flings in early manhood before his RTS manifested but never with a female he truly cared about. And though he didn’t want to admit it to himself, with Nina he cared—cared a hell of a lot. Probably too much.
Somewhere inside he realized he shouldn’t let his emotions get in the way. This should be a purely physical experience. But he couldn’t help himself. Somehow he knew that no matter how good it felt to finally be touched again, it wouldn’t have been nearly as good if it wasn’t Nina doin
g the touching.
* * * * *
Nina knew it was wrong to be enjoying herself so much, but there was something incredibly sexy about being in control this way. She liked the idea that a big, powerful male like Reddix was spread out in front of her, helpless to do anything but let her touch him. Was this how men felt when they touched women? Powerful? Dominant? In control? Nina didn’t know, but she did know she couldn’t get enough of the heady feeling.
Reddix’s big shaft felt hot and hard and heavy in her hand. It was a lot different touching him now than it had been the first time—probably because that first time she’d been wearing gloves. This time she could feel the silky texture of his skin—like rose petals under her fingers. He throbbed in her hand—full of life and need, and his warm, spicy scent made her want to get closer to him—a lot closer.
Before she knew what she was doing, Nina was leaning over him, her lips almost level with the broad, plum-shaped head. It wasn’t just that she wanted to taste him, she told herself, it was that she wanted to heal him in some way. To kiss away the pain, the ache of loneliness he’d been carrying like a too-heavy burden all these years. She didn’t know why she felt like touching him this way—tasting him this way—would help. She just instinctively knew it would.
Leaning farther down, she placed a hot, open mouthed kiss against the head of his cock.
“What…what are you doing?” Reddix’s deep voice was rough with emotion.
“Nothing,” Nina murmured soothingly. “Just…kissing away the pain.”
“I don’t understand,” he muttered, shaking his head.
“You don’t have to. Just lay there and let me help you,” she commanded.
“All right.” His hands were clenched even tighter above his head, she noted, but that was where they stayed—right above his head. It was good to know she could trust him to behave himself this time, even under extreme duress. Meanwhile, the lights on his collar were blinking like crazy.
So it’s working, Nina told herself. But even if it hadn’t been, she didn’t think she could have stopped. She was enjoying herself too much. Slowly, she kissed him again.