My elbows planted on the table either side of the damning article.
Fuck.
My legs jittered on the chair leg, my heart filling with snow.
I’d known this would happen. I’d heard rumors in prison and had updates from Larry that Belle Elle was regularly mentioned alongside my name.
But to see it in black and white?
To have a prominent newspaper tear Elle’s family legacy apart all because of me?
Shit, it dug a dagger into my heart and twisted until I couldn’t breathe.
I loved her. I would do anything for her.
But they were right.
This was all my fault.
I’d gone after Elle because of my hate. I’d dragged her into my chaos because of my love. I’d ruined her business because of my selfishness.
The longer I was with her, the worse the lynch mob would become.
It didn’t matter what I wanted or how much I cared for her.
Elle had sacrificed far too much for me. I couldn’t let her sacrifice anymore.
I loved her too much to let all she’d worked for be stolen.
Slamming the laptop closed, I grabbed my keys and left.
Chapter Forty-Four
Elle
“ELLE, CAN YOU come in here, please?” Dad’s voice came from his office.
I’d arrived early—before most staff—to finally get stuck into my mountain of work that I hadn’t mentally been able to cope with over the past five months.
I’d kept the company ticking along—mainly thanks to Dad taking on more responsibility and Fleur’s help—but it was time I took the reins again now Penn was free.
I had finally settled my debt with him. I was unbelievably happy. And the rest of life would work itself out like it was supposed to.
Striding into my father’s office, I smiled. He wore a simple black suit with a gray waistcoat and maroon shirt. He sat behind his desk where he’d given me Sage all those years ago.
He read a newspaper with a grimace. “Can you explain this?”
“Explain what?”
He tossed the article toward me, spinning it upside down so I could read it clearly. The blaring headline said: BELLE ELLE MAY HAVE A NEW CEO AND HE COMES WITH A CRIMINAL RECORD.
I warred with the need to burn the stupid thing and assure my father not to upset his heart.
“You know what reporters are like. They’ll say anything to sell copies.”
Dad scrubbed his face. “How much of it is true, though?”
“None of it.”
“Most of it, you mean?” He sighed. “Greg retracted his statement. He wouldn’t have done that if you hadn’t have meddled.”
My shoulders straightened. “I didn’t do anything illegal, Dad.”
“I’m not so sure about that. And now, you’re dating someone who has done illegal things.”
Standing primly, I refrained my temper from lashing back. “Penn is a good person. Or are you forgetting your approval when he first arrived?”
“A criminal record changes things, Elle.” He slouched. “I want you to be happy, but I don’t want Belle Elle to be dragged into this sort of scandal.”
“The company can handle it. Why does the public opinion have so much sway over my personal relationships?”
Dad stood, patrolling around his office, bypassing awards for best retail experience, best merchandise, and best charity donations to organizations who supported fair wages. We followed the law and did our part for the world in all things business. Belle Elle ran my life. I wouldn’t let it rule my love life, too.
“Because the public is our business, Elle. If you continue to drag the company’s good will through the muck of prison and criminals, then I fear what sort of future you’ll leave your heir.”
“My what?”
“Your children. Come on. Be smart about this. I’m only trying to protect you, Elle.”
I let him pace around me, holding my cool. Barely. “I’m not ending it with him. I’m in love with him.”
“You barely know him.”
“You were happy for me to marry him after four days. Now that I’ve been with him for five months, you say it’s too soon?”
“Five months while he’s been in jail.”
“It doesn’t matter. Not everyone is perfect. Those who make mistakes but learn from them are better than those who have made none. He makes me happy. That’s all you need worry yourself with.”
I didn’t wait for his reply.
With my hands balled, I left his office and stalked into mine.
I loved my father, but I was done taking orders.
Penn is mine.
And he’s going to stay that way.
* * * * *
“Visitor, Elle.” Fleur knocked gently on my office door after lunch.
I hadn’t stopped to eat. In fact, I hadn’t stopped since I’d sat down and fully looked at the financial statements and future dated campaigns. Fleur had done a great job, but a few areas had slipped through our fastidious control.
“If it’s my father again, tell him I’ll come over tonight, and we can discuss it like adults. But nothing will change, so he might as well get used to it.”
Fleur took a few steps over the threshold. “It’s not your father.” Her mouth tipped up into the biggest smile. “It’s your fiancé.”
Instantly, I leaped from my chair and crossed the large space. Sage meowed from her basket, wondering if I was leaving or not.
Before I could assure her I wasn’t going anywhere, Penn appeared, dressed in low-slung dark jeans and a black untucked shirt. He looked carefree and reckless and just as delicious.
The itch of having him last night wasn’t sated, and my mouth watered to taste him again. To finish what he’d started last time he was here and be wicked together with orgasm-related fun.
“Hi.” My cheeks pinked, picturing him inside me. How sexy he was. How lucky I was.
Only, he didn’t wrap an arm around me and whisper hello in his raspy lustful voice.
He didn’t smile.
In fact, he took a step back, holding up his hand. “Elle...don’t.”
Icebergs slithered down my spine. “Don’t what? What is it?”
Fleur left, leaving us alone.
What the hell could’ve changed since I left him a few hours ago until now? His eyes tightened with pain. Pain matched inside me the longer he stared. “I—I have something to give you.”
I rubbed my arms, my hands squeaking over the fabric of my wardrobe. The silver sundress with black panels over the chest that Fleur had picked out was a nod to the night we’d gone to his charity gala. My own way of telling him whatever happened that night was over because the lies were gone and we were together. “Give me what?”
A rap sounded on my door. Before I could snap for whoever it was to leave us alone, Dad popped his head in.
His gaze instantly latched onto Penn. “Ah, I thought I saw you.” Moving into the room, he closed the door ominously behind him.
Goosebumps erupted full of fear.
I had no idea what was going on, but it hurt like hell already.
Dad held out his hand, trying to hide his thoughts (unsuccessfully) about the ridiculous news articles and slight inconvenience Penn’s background was causing.
Penn swallowed back his own emotions, shaking Dad’s hand. “Mr. Charlston.”
Dad smiled. “Congratulations on being acquitted. I’m so glad.” His voice lowered with sincerity. “I know I wasn’t exactly supportive while you were locked up, but I want you to know, I never stopped being grateful to you for saving Elle.” His soft gray eyes met mine. “She means everything to me. I get a little protective when anything tries to hurt her—reporters included.”
Penn dropped his hand, shoving it into his pocket. “I understand.”
Unlike last night when I got on my knees and sucked him, he wasn’t doing it to hold himself back. He stood protective of himself—a safety thing to keep himself r
igid and firm to do whatever it was he’d come to do.
Don’t let him.
I had no idea what had changed, but every instinct screamed to stop him...before it was too late.
Striding to his side, I slinked an arm around his waist and kissed his cheek. “Do you want to grab some lunch? Maybe take a quick walk and get some fresh air?”
Penn shivered at my closeness then stiffened. Never looking at me, he clenched his jaw and sidestepped out of my embrace.
He didn’t answer my question, sticking to his script, giving me no way to stop him. “There’s something I came to do.”
I trembled in terror, wishing I could grab the hands of a clock and shoot us back to last night when everything had been so rosy and bright.
Dad frowned. “What is it you came to do, Mr. Everett?”
My heart sank. It didn’t escape my notice or Penn’s that Dad had gone from calling him son back to his formal address. Just like Penn had called him Mr. Charlston.
This is all so wrong.
Penn needed to be welcomed—to feel as if he belonged because he did. Just because it would be rough for the next few months in the tabloids didn’t mean Dad had to be cruel.
“Dad, Penn saved me. He deserves—”
“Don’t, Elle.” Penn pulled one hand out of his pocket and pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s best if your father is here to hear this.” His voice stayed calm and focused, but his muscles tensed, his back going overly straight.
“Hear what?” I locked my knees from sudden quaking.
“About our fake engagement.” He looked at the carpet, his voice bitter and sharp, his body broken and sad. “I think it’s time to call it off.” He exhaled in a rush, the raw agony in his eyes a bleeding wound.
“What?”
Dad interrupted. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I think it’s best—for everyone involved—if we go our separate ways.”
I stumbled. “You can’t be serious.”
Dad held up his hand. “What are you saying?”
Penn’s face turned black. “I’m saying I have too much shit in my life to smear your perfection. I have a chief of police about to come after me, a criminal record, and a whole bunch of other issues. I saw how you being associated with me is already affecting your business. I never wanted that. I never wanted to make things worse for Elle, especially knowing how hard she works.”
I gulped. “Penn, stop. It’s over. You’re free. The rumors will fade, and life will go back to normal.”
“No.” Dad held up his finger. “He’s right. It won’t. These sort of things last forever, Elle. Sure, it will fade in favor of other gossip, but the next time Belle Elle has a lawsuit or some nasty reporter has a grudge, they’ll drag this story out all over again. We’ll never be free of it.”
“Exactly.” Penn nodded curtly. “You’d never be free of me and the turmoil I’d cause.”
Dad puffed his chest even as his confidence faded. His mood switched from corporate to apologetic. “Look, I’m sorry, Penn. I genuinely like you, and you make my daughter happy. You saved her, and you’ll forever have my gratitude, but Elle isn’t a normal girl. She comes with a company that has been a part of our family for generations. I can’t let her jeopardize that.”
Penn stood to his full height, hiding his wince. “Sometimes, love isn’t enough. It doesn’t conquer everything.”
I flinched, holding my broken pieces together. “That’s ridiculous. How can you say love isn’t enough?” The dirty disbelief in my voice made me snarl. “You want me, Penn. I want you. Don’t do something as stupid as—”
“I’m not being stupid, Elle. I’m being smart.”
“No, you’re being a raging moron.” Stomping toward him, I placed my hand over his thumping heart. “Tell me you love me. Tell me what you told me last night. Tell my dad so he can hear what an idiot you are.”
Penn gritted his teeth, moving away from my touch. “I’m not an idiot for trying to protect you, Elle. Why can you do so much for me and I can’t do the same for you?”
“I didn’t hurt you and call it helping!”
“You don’t think I’m not hurting? That this isn’t fucking killing me?”
My cheeks burned with terror that I wouldn’t be able to talk him out of this. To stop this lunacy. “Then don’t do it! It’s a silly newspaper.”
“It’s in black and white!” He bared his teeth. “It’s damaging. I know how awful the mob mentality can be, Elle. It can fucking ruin everything you love.”
“Can you really stand there and talk about love even while breaking my heart?” I wrapped my arms around my waist, hugging hard. “I chose you, Penn. You’re worth whatever silly stories they make up about us. Admit you love me and stop trying to be a martyr.”
His lips remained stubbornly locked together.
He couldn’t tell me that he loved me.
He wouldn’t.
He believed he was doing the right thing.
It’s not.
It’s not the right thing!
“As much as I agree with you,” Dad said. “Are you sure about this? You seem to care deeply—”
Penn tore at his hair. “Of course, I care deeply. I love your daughter—” His eyes flared, noticing his admittance. He waved it away as if it wasn’t the point. As if it didn’t matter. When it was the only thing that mattered.
His eyes met mine, but he spoke to my dad. “It’s because I love her that I’m doing this. I can’t stand by and be the reason for Elle’s future to be at stake.”
Dad crossed his arms. “That’s a noble reason.” His gaze turned calm, assessing Penn in a way he hadn’t. Seeing him like I saw him—past the angry features and stuck-up confidence. Finally noticing the man who protected everyone he cared about by keeping them as far away from him as possible.
He was noble.
He was stupid.
He was so selfless, he was willing to cut out his heart and walk away as some misguided attempt to save me.
Couldn’t he see I couldn’t care less about reporters or phony tales?
Couldn’t he understand I didn’t want Belle Elle anymore if I couldn’t have him?
Penn might not understand, but Dad did.
He shook his head, pinning his gaze on Penn, finally believing in the affection between us—recognizing its truth.
Not that it would help me win this fight with this stubborn ass determined on destroying me, all in the name of honor.
Screw honor!
“Penn...we’ll fight this together. Just like we fought your sentence.”
His body flinched with grief. “You’ve already done too much for me, Elle. I can’t ask for anymore.”
“Penn, perhaps you should sit down. Let’s talk about this—” Dad pointed at the couch, his shoulders falling the longer he witnessed the life-splintering argument. “I’m sure we can work this out.”
I waved my arms. “There, you see? Even Dad, who is adamant about protecting Belle Elle from controversy, is willing to discuss—”
“Just because he doesn’t want to see you hurting doesn’t mean he agrees that it’s the right choice.” Penn shook his head, his eyes black with agony. “I’ve already caused you more stress than you should ever have to live through. Don’t ask me to make you live through more.”
“I’m not asking you. I’m telling you.” I stormed forward, desperate to touch him. “You don’t have the right to walk away when I want you to stay, Penn. Don’t punish me for loving you.”
His jaw locked. He swallowed hard. He looked over my head. “I can’t do this anymore.”
“Anymore? We’ve been together one night!”
“And you were alone for five months to earn that one night. That’s not a life you deserve, Elle.” He suddenly exploded. “I’ve already taken far too much from you.”
“No, you haven’t.”
He snorted. “Haven’t I? What about the countless nights I gave you? The constant worry? The delib
erating stress? I’ve cost you so much, and I refuse to take anymore.”
“I paid that willingly. You’re free. That’s all in the past.”
“Until the next fuck up.”
Dad cleared his throat. “How about we all take a breather? It might be as simple as keeping your relationship quiet for now—until this all blows over.”
Penn laughed coldly. “You know as well as I do that that won’t happen. This is what has to happen. It’s for the best.”
“No!” My temper overflowed, but I battled it down. “Look, let’s be rational. Did you forget everything we promised last night? All the love we shared?”
Turning to look at my father, I added, “Dad, you practically threw me together with Penn that night at the Weeping Willow. We’re finally together. You can see what exists between us. Don’t let him be ridiculous.”
It was a low ball playing my father against Penn, but Dad was on my side now. If Penn needed fatherly approval—he had it.
Penn clenched his hands. “Not ridiculous, Elle. Smart.” He smiled sadly. “I didn’t come here to argue with you.” His shoulders bunched as he pulled his other hand from his pocket. “Before I say goodbye, I need to do something.”
“You don’t get to say goodbye, Penn. Not after I waited for you in prison. Not after I fell in love—”
He planted a hand on my mouth, his eyes guarded and unreadable.
But I didn’t need to read them. I knew how much he was breaking under his ironclad façade.
He howled just as much as I did.
Why is he doing this then?
He’d swiped away my foundations and made the world shake like an earthquake.
“This belongs to you.” He held up his hand, and the necklace that’d started this catastrophe dangled from his fingers.
When I didn’t move, he took my hand, turned it upright, and dribbled the chain into my palm.
With a harsh breath, he closed my fingers over it. “Stewie and Gio agree you should have it back. I should’ve given it to you years ago when I came to find you that night.” He kissed me so soft, I barely tasted his lips. “I’m so sorry, Elle.”
Dad coughed, but I ignored him, fighting my tears. My heart cracked open, dying, gasping. “Why are you doing this?”
Penn touched my cheekbone reverently. “Because for the first time in my life, I need to do the right thing. You helped me so much, Elle. Let me help you by not ruining your future.”