I sniffed back a sob, hating the necklace locked in my hand. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Say you forgive me.”
“Forgive you?” I cupped his cheek, mirroring his hold on me with the hand not holding the necklace. “The only thing to forgive is this. You’re hurting me, Penn. I don’t care about the newspapers or what the chief of police will do. All I care about is you.” Tears rolled unbidden. “Don’t do this.”
He bent and brushed his lips once again over mine, licking away a tear at the corner of my mouth. “I’m sorry for dragging you into my mess, Elle. But your father is right. I’ll never be free of my past, and you’ll forever belong to Belle Elle. There is no place for us.” He stepped backward, once again jamming his hands into his pockets. “I’m going away for a while. Let the scandal blow over.” He shrugged. “Let me go, Elle.”
Dad came to my side. “Look, Penn. Perhaps, I’ve been too hasty. Stay. Let’s talk—”
Penn shuddered, squeezing his eyes before opening them again, full of wavering agony. “I can’t.”
My tears morphed into a shout. “You can. Who put you in charge about what is best for me or what I want? I know what’s best, and I want you, Penn.”
“And you’ll always have me.” He back stepped toward the door. “I’ll never stop loving you, but we can’t be together. I won’t hurt you anymore. Goodbye, Elle.” Hiding his pain behind a sharp cough, he opened the door and disappeared.
The moment he was gone, I fell to my knees.
“Elle!” Dad squatted beside me in horror. “Are you okay?”
I let loose, tears becoming sobs when before I’d been so damn happy. “Am I okay? No, I’m not okay.”
Dad rubbed my back like he did when I was a child and I felt sick or had a nightmare. Before, his comfort would work. This time, it only made me miss another man more. “He can’t do this, Dad. I love him.”
Sage crawled into my lap, mewing sadly. I dropped the sapphire star onto the carpet and grabbed her, cuddling her close, using her as a tissue to wipe away my sadness. She let me. She purred in encouragement, letting me cry.
With tear-fogged vision, I noticed Dad pick up the necklace he’d bought me for my nineteenth birthday. He spun the star in his fingers, his forehead furrowing. Slowly, his spine straightened as he looked at the door where Penn had vanished and back to me in pieces on the floor.
“Right, that’s it.” Standing stiffly, he bent down and hauled me to my feet. “I’ve been a stupid old fool.”
I sniffed, hugging Sage closer.
Patting my cheek, wiping away my tears, he said, “That boy loves you.”
My heart squeezed all over again. A fresh wave of tears threatened.
“And you love him.”
I bit my lip, doing my best to stop the torrent. “I do.”
“I’m an idiot. He’s an idiot. We’re all stupid idiots.” Pushing me toward the door, he scooped Sage from my arms and gave me the sapphire star instead. “Go after him.”
I froze. “What?”
He laughed abruptly, rolling his eyes as if it was the most obvious thing after being dumped. “He’s only breaking up with you because he thinks it’s the right thing to do. I must admit I played my part in encouraging that. But that was before I saw how much he adores you. How much he put you first and himself second even though he’s obviously going to pieces without you. I liked him before, Elle, but he just showed a noble, honorable side that is so damn rare.”
He kissed my cheek as he opened the door. “Who cares about journalists and stories? We’re solid. Our business is thriving. And even it if wasn’t, it doesn’t matter.”
His eyes took on that whimsical glow he got whenever he thought of Mom. “I loved truly, and there wasn’t a day that went by that I wished I didn’t. Every morning, I was thankful. Every evening, I was grateful. No amount of money or good publicity can replace true love, Elle. And I’m a moron that I’ve fought for you to find that exact connection only to do whatever I could to break you apart when you found it.”
His face fell. “I hope you can forgive your old fool of a father.”
My tears dried.
Should I chase after him? What would I say?
But I had no choice.
Dad was right. I didn’t care about Belle Elle’s reputation. If we believed a few online articles could tear us down, then we didn’t belong at the head of the chain. And if we sacrificed our own happiness for material things, then we didn’t deserve to find love.
And I had found love.
I wouldn’t let it walk away.
“I won’t let him go.” The oath landed by my feet before I noticed I’d spoken.
Dad hugged me with Sage scrambling between us. “That’s my girl. Now go and knock some sense into that boy like he knocked sense into me. Tell him he’s part of this family, whether he likes it or not.”
With tear-slicked cheeks and racing heartbeat, I tore from my office.
Fleur asked where I was going.
Sage meowed.
Dad whooped.
And I flew on wings to claim Penn once and for all.
Chapter Forty-Five
Penn
I COULDN’T STAY in New York.
Not after this.
The moment I’d gone to Larry’s to collect the sapphire star Stewie had been keeping for Gio, he’d known things were about to get sad.
He hadn’t grilled me, but he had told me to call him when I got to whatever destination I would run to.
The reporters wanted to slander Elle and her company? Well, they couldn’t fucking use me because I wouldn’t be in town. By distancing myself, I was protecting Elle.
It hurt like hell.
But it was the best thing for everyone.
Arnold wouldn’t be able to drag her into my chaos. Greg would remain locked up. My connection to the Charlstons would fade, and Elle could remain the perfect princess who so many people relied on for work and income.
Throwing a duffel bag onto my bed, I didn’t pay much attention as I threw pants, shirts, and underwear into the general vicinity.
Everything fucking hurt.
My chest, my eyes, my motherfucking heart.
I hated myself for hurting Elle.
I despised myself for leaving her in tears.
But it was for the best.
The only way I could think of to protect her.
“You know, you should really lock your front door.”
What the—
I spun from shoving socks into the side pockets of the duffel, my mouth falling wide. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Elle leaned against my doorframe, the sapphire necklace dangling from her finger as she cocked her hip. “Getting you back, of course.”
My hands curled. “I told you. I won’t put you through any more stress and ridicule.”
She merely smiled. Her eyes bright and tear-free; her body poised and confident. “I want you to do something for me...” Her attention fell to my half-packed bag. “Before you go. Can you do that?”
I narrowed my eyes, searching for a trap, but she remained open and kind.
I nodded slowly. “Okay...”
“Great.” Pushing from the doorframe, she came toward me with a sexy sway in her hips.
My cock instantly reacted against my will. I gulped as she planted herself in front of me.
“You did all the talking in my office. Here, it’s my turn.”
I didn’t like it, but I nodded. “Fine.”
“Good.” She swung the necklace like a pendulum. “First, this no longer belongs to me. It belongs to the hooded hero who saved me. I told him that three years ago. I distinctly remember mentioning that if I had remembered to ask for it back, I would’ve given it to my rescuer in payment for saving me and walking me home.”
I couldn’t help myself. “And I distinctly remember telling you there was no way in hell I’d take it.”
She smirked. “Yes, I remember that too.
” Tossing the necklace into my bag, she muttered, “Too bad, it’s yours. I don’t want it back. Know what else I don’t want back?”
I stood frozen, not falling into her trap.
The longer she stood in my room, smelling so goddamn delicious and being so brave, the more I wanted to kiss her until I passed out from oxygen deprivation and took back everything I’d said.
I was an idiot.
Worse than an idiot.
I deserved to be lonely after throwing her away all because I didn’t want to hurt her.
Eventually, I’d hurt her—either through my direct actions or indirect. It would happen. Could I afford to take that chance?
She means too much to me.
When I didn’t answer, she beamed. “My heart, Penn. I don’t want that back, either. It’s yours. So you might else well carve it from my chest and stuff it into that bag of yours because you’re not leaving without it.”
“Elle,” I growled. “Don’t be so—”
“What? Dramatic? Immature? Literal?” She stabbed my sternum. “Listen here, Mr. Everett, and listen good. I didn’t pick you. You didn’t pick me. Fate picked us, and there’s nothing we can do about it. The reporters can’t change it. Life can’t break it. And you most certainly cannot walk away from it.”
I sucked in a breath to argue, but she planted a hand on my mouth just as I’d done to her.
“I don’t care about anything else. I’m not going to worry about what may or may not happen. I’ve been fighting to deserve you ever since the night you were taken in Central Park. Do you know how much guilt I’ve carried since that night? How terrible I felt? The debt I endured to pay back?” Her bottom lip wobbled.
I crumpled inside for hurting her. I had no idea she suffered the way I had. Her with guilt, me with misplaced hate.
If only I’d told her my name from the very beginning.
But if I had, who knew if we would be here right now. About to do something stupid and reckless but so right. I couldn’t breathe with the thought of not claiming her. Walking from her office showed me how much I adored her. How utterly real this was.
It wasn’t a fling. It wasn’t short-term.
It was forever.
And if I stood by and acted like a dick—thinking I could keep her safe while abandoning her to the wolves—then I didn’t fucking deserve her.
It was my job to keep her safe.
I thought that meant from myself.
But I’d rather keep her safe from other assholes and screw my fears about not being the man she deserved.
She’d leashed me to her the moment she’d appeared in my doorway. Her cute little argument turned me on until I throbbed in my pants for her tirade to end so I could show her just how much I’d never let her go.
Today had started off blissful and slid into terrible, but now, it was exactly where it should be.
Acceptance.
This was real. So fucking real.
“So you listen here, Penn. I don’t care what argument you try. I’m not—”
“Elle...” I put a finger over her lips, silencing her with my stare. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Her lips brushed over my touch, making me shudder with desire.
“You win.” I leaned forward, my self-control at its end. Capturing her mouth with mine, I kissed her with every yes and apology I could. “I’m a fucking idiot, but I’m yours. I’m not going anywhere.”
It took a second for my vow to travel from her ears to her brain to her heart.
But when it did, she bounced into my arms as if she’d always belonged there.
“Truly?”
I chuckled. “Truly.”
She peppered my jaw with kisses. “You’re an ass. You know that, right?”
“I do know that. That was why I was trying to remove myself from your life.”
“Well, you tried and failed. Don’t you ever try again.”
I nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”
“And don’t call me ma’am.”
“What do you want me to call you?”
“Something dirty while you take off my clothes and have your wicked way with me.”
My eyebrows rose. “In that case, turn around, Ms. Charlston. I suddenly have the overwhelming need to bend you over and stick my cock inside you.”
She trembled. “I thought you’d never ask.”
I swatted her ass, marching her to the bed. “Oh, I didn’t ask. You’ve been a naughty girl, going against my wishes and making me keep you. You need to be punished.”
Her laughter made my entire fucking galaxy blaze bright.
Chapter Forty-Six
Elle
“MARRY ME.”
My eyes flew wide. “What?”
Penn spun me around, shoved his clothes-strewn bag off the bed, and tossed me onto the mattress. “Marry me. Make our fake engagement real.”
“I—wow.”
“Wow isn’t the answer I want.” His voice was a seductive rasp. “Try again. Marry me?”
A shiver darted down my spine, loving his authoritative kinky tone.
I knew my answer, but I bit my bottom lip. “Um, how long can I think about it?”
I gasped as he pressed me onto my back, then hoisted up the silver dress and revealed my nakedness. I’d left him the gift of my underwear this morning and hadn’t replaced them.
He groaned. “God, you’re going to kill me.” He sank a finger inside me, burying his face into my hair. “Yes or no, Elle. Put me out of my misery.” Hunger poured off him, infecting me until I squirmed with starvation. He was so much bigger than me, so much stronger, so damn beautiful, yet with one little word, I had the power to break him into smithereens.
Just like he’d broken me.
I toyed with the idea of saying no. To give him a taste of his own medicine, but he withdrew his touch and rolled onto his side.
“You’re all I want, Elle. I was a jackass.” He kissed me reverently then contradicted it with sudden aggression. “It fucking destroyed me to go over there. To tell you to leave me. Feeling that god-crushing emptiness of having everything I ever wanted then giving it all away again. It hurt so fucking much.”
More tears sprang to my eyes at his confession and soul-bearing honesty. He cut me open, leaving me to bleed in his arms.
“I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone. More than I ever wanted a dry place to sleep. More than food even after two days of none.” A cocky smirk twisted his lips. “That’s the truth, but the one you truly need to know is I’m crazy in love with you, and you’re not leaving my bed until you say yes.”
“Is that a threat?”
“Do you want it to be?”
My eyes hooded. “Maybe.”
“I don’t mind spending decades convincing you.” Undoing his belt and zipper, he pushed his jeans and boxer-briefs down to mid-thigh. His erection sprang thick and hard.
My legs spread in invitation. “Good because I think I need convincing.”
Pressing over me, his body vibrated with tension. His arousal soaked from his skin to mine as he found my entrance.
His lips moved against mine, hot and wet. We devoured each other, turning wilder and more in lust every second. Bites and licks and the incessant urge to join, to mate.
His cock throbbed at my core, tormenting me, making me heavy and achy with need.
“I’ll be miserable without you, Elle. Please don’t make me be miserable.”
“You’re making me miserable.” I rocked against him, begging him to fill me. My senses were drenched in him—his scent and taste. I needed him to finish what he started before I went completely out of my mind.
“You want me?” He angled himself, mounting me in every sense. “You have me.” He plunged inside.
“Oh, God.” My eyes blacked out. The room spun.
A groan splashed from both of us. I couldn’t stop my hips grinding into him as he thrust inch by savage inch.
“Is this enough convincing?” He captured my mouth
as his hips flexed into mine, driving me hard against the bed.
“Not...quite...” I patted myself on the back for even attempting to speak with him fucking me, drugging me.
“More?”
I moaned when he sucked on my tongue.
His kisses came wrapped in apologizes and screw-ups. His nips were loaded with passion and love.
He held nothing back. Giving me everything he had left to give.
But I was greedy.
“More, definitely more.” I sank my fingernails into his ass, pulling him harder, making him fill me deeper. He completed me.
I wanted him. I wanted him inside me. I wanted him for all eternity.
His breath came out in a shudder as our rhythm picked up, going from teasing to committed.
His mouth locked on mine again. One hand in my hair and the other on my chin, his lips taught mine a violent dance. His tongue thrust into my mouth at the same tempo as his cock plunged into my pussy.
My teeth sank into his lower lip as I arched into his hold. I was pinned by him. Held hostage by sex while he waited for an answer to his unconventional marriage proposal.
“You said yes to the fake one,” he growled, thrusting faster. “Say yes to a real one.”
I drank air like liquid. “I never said yes to the first one. I remember saying no multiple times.”
He flattened me into the bed. “I didn’t let you say no then. And I won’t let you say no now.” His passion overflowed. His fist landed in my hair, tugging hard enough to remind me I was completely at his mercy.
I slept with him in utmost trust that he’d never use his strength to hurt me.
“You can’t make me say yes by fucking me, Penn.”
“I can’t?” He surged into me, making the familiar fireworks grab a lighter and hold a flame to their fuses.
I glued my lips together, holding back my moan as my body prepared to spindle and shoot into euphoric abandon.
“Do you trust me?” he whispered, his tongue tracing my ear.
Even swept away, so close to coming, I nodded, grabbing his shoulders with my nails. “Unequivocally.”