Some things are worth fighting for, yeah, but sometimes, you’re just fighting. I didn’t know which of those two I was at, and the knowledge of that left me cold.
I’d emptied the better part of a bottle of wine when he turned to me, his mouth seeking. This, at least, was easy. He knew my body well and I knew his. When he guided me back to the floor, I went easily, willingly, even, almost desperate to find that connection between us again. If we could find it here, I had hope we could find it anywhere.
He came down over me, one hand curving to my waist, the other rising up to push into my hair. His touch was gentle, but I didn’t want gentle.
I dug my hand into his hair, dragging his head down to meet mine. His breath caught when I bit his lower lip and then it turned into a frantic, heavy pant as I slid my free hand between us and began to stroke him through his pants. Blue eyes held mine as I dragged his zipper down and shoved my hand inside. He groaned when I wrapped my hand around his cock and I smiled against his mouth. He was heavy and hard. Moisture seeped from the head as I circled it with my thumb.
A noise rumbled out of his throat and he began to pump into my hand. I squeezed him tighter and stroked up and down. My core ached. He rested a hand on my inner thigh, his fingers seeking. I needed more, needed to have him come inside me and fill the emptiness that grew with every second.
When he began to kiss his way down my torso with light feathery kisses, I twisted out from under him and urged him onto his back.
We were still dressed. His pants were open, underwear shoved out of the way so that his cock jutted up from the swath of cotton. I still wore the dress and my panties. And I didn’t care.
“Now,” I demanded.
Edward’s hands steadied my hips as I straddled him.
He helped me move aside my clothes, staring up at me with hunger in his eyes. I wrapped my hand around his cock and held him steady as I took him inside. I wasn’t wet enough, not yet, but it didn’t matter. The friction between his cock and my stretching pussy added to the desperation and I threw back my head, crying out as I felt the edge I craved.
He arched up, meeting each downward move of my hips with an upward thrust of his own. He pulled down the top of my dress, bringing my bra with it. Warm hands cupped my breasts and he stroked his thumbs around my nipples in slow, teasing circles. I covered his hands and urged him to squeeze, tried to communicate the need I had for something more.
Wetter now, I rode him, falling forward to brace my weight on my hands. His stomach tensed beneath my palms. Through a veil of my hair, I saw his head fall back, his eyes close. His back arched and he began to move, driving into me quicker, harder, each stroke sending sparks dancing through me.
“Yes,” I whimpered. “Like that.”
I didn’t know if he finally heard the need in my voice or if he was just giving in to his own, but either way, he flipped me onto my back and took me, driving into me with deep powerful thrusts. My back burned across the carpet as he pounded into me. I cried out and he swelled and the head of his cock stroked that spot inside me.
My eyes closed as we raced towards the precipice together. He groaned out my name, his face pressed against my shoulder. I lifted up, setting my heels firmly onto the floor so I could grind my clit against him. He swore and I squeezed my eyes tighter, continuing to move.
Involuntarily, a face swam before my eyes and in that moment, I hated myself.
I came hard, biting my lip to keep from crying out.
I didn’t know whose name I would’ve said.
Twelve
“I promise, Mom.” Phone in hand, I paused on the steps as I looked up at the old building where I’d lived with Kendra. I didn’t push the buzzer yet, mostly because I couldn’t. My hands were full of bags and the phone. As much time as I’d spent on the phone recently, I was starting to wish I’d invested in a bluetooth. “Kendra and I have everything under control, I swear.”
“Okay. I just…” On the other end of the phone, my mother sniffed. “Well, I always imagined being there and helping with everything for all my girls when it came to their big day.”
I understood where she was coming from. She and Suzanne had started planning her wedding three months after Suzanne had met Pierce. Mom had even helped Duncan’s wife, Allison, and her mother. I had no doubt she’d be doing as much as possible for Jackson and Amber. That was just how she was.
“You all have been a bigger help than you know, Mom.” My shoulder screamed in protest at the weight of the bags and I said, “Mom, I’m at Kendra’s now and these bags are killing me. I gotta go.”
“Okay. Send me pictures!”
I promised I would and disconnected, shoving the phone into my pocket so I could hit the buzzer.
A moment later, Kendra’s cheerful voice came through. “Hello!”
“Open up,” I pleaded. “Better yet, come and help me.”
She laughed and the door unlocked.
I wasn’t even to the first step when she appeared on the landing, jogging down to take two of the bags I’d looped over my elbow. “Girl, why didn’t you have your driver help you?”
“I took a cab.” Making a face at her, I readjusted the weight of the other bags and sighed. “I had to make a couple of last minute stops and I didn’t want to risk Paul not being available if Edward needs him.”
I had to take a minute to acclimate when we went inside. “Wow.” The whole place had been painted, the walls a clean, fresh white, the old furniture replaced by a couch the color of a tropical ocean. It matched the rest of the accents and picked up the color in the rug that covered a huge part of the floor. The murphy bed had been replaced by a lovely real bed and there were shelving units that went perfectly with the color scheme, holding books and movies and pictures. There was also one giant TV.
“Damn, Kendra. If I’d known you were making this kind of money, maybe I would’ve stuck around.”
She grinned at me. “The landlord had to pony up for the paint job. I told him I could either press charges for the shit he tried to pull on us, or he could take care of some much needed upkeep around here. Once the painting was done, I decided I needed to update everything, and I’d gotten a nice advance from Bouvier, so I could afford it.”
“It looks amazing.” Dumping the bags onto the couch, I sank down onto it with a content sigh. “This is a lot more comfortable than the old one.”
“It’s a bed too. In case you ever wanna crash again.” She shrugged, her oversized shirt slipping down one bare shoulder. “For old times’ sake.”
I laughed. “If you’d made the offer with the other couch here, then I’d say hell no. But maybe…”
She grinned and clapped her hands. “We need to get to work.”
Did we ever.
The problem with deciding to move up a wedding the way we had—okay, one of the problems with moving up the wedding—meant the favors I’d ordered wouldn’t be here in time and getting something personalized on this short of notice would take a mountain of money and a miracle.
I could have asked for the mountain of money, but my independent streak shrieked at the idea. I didn’t even let myself consider the fact that Edward paying for the favors wasn’t the same as me taking money for something else. It was, after all, our wedding. Fortunately, my practical side kicked in and saved the day. I could do personal myself.
Thanks to the wonders of the internet, there were a thousand ways to make your own little favors and I’d found the sweetest idea. I also had a friend who’d taken a few days off to help me with the last minute rush. Even though we’d been having some disagreements lately, she was here now.
Today was dedicated to the little terrariums I was giving away as wedding favors. They were easy, unique and they were pretty enough people might even keep them after the wedding. I’d already made a couple of test ones, just to see how I wanted mine to look and that was the plan for Kendra and me today.
Unloading the bags, I started to explain what we were doing. I s
howed her the glass bulbs, the stones and watched as Kendra’s smile grew. She’d always loved doing creative stuff like this. If I’d had my choice, I would’ve made favors for all of my guests...well, if I’d only been having one wedding the way I wanted and the time to do what I wanted.
Once I had everything set up, we settled down to our grown-up version of arts and crafts. She broke out the wine and cheese a half hour in and by the time we were done hours later, we’d gone through two bottles of wine and my head was spinning, but it was a good kind of spinning for once.
“They look…” Kendra hiccupped. “They look like little fairy houses.”
“Yeah.” Laying on my back, I studied the last and final terrarium. “Ain’t they sweet?”
Kendra giggled. “Your southern side is showing, girl. Ain’t they sweet?” She mimicked.
“Oh, shut up.” I threw a pillow at her and missed by a mile. It made us both laugh and when the sound of it had faded from the air, I murmured, “I’ve missed this.”
“So have I.” Kendra stretched out next to me, studying her terrarium. “You wanna crash here tonight?”
Rolling my head on the floor, I studied her face. Just the thought of it had something inside me relaxing and I nodded. “Yeah. Yeah I do. We can order pizza. Stay up late and be stupid.”
“We’re already a third of the way there,” she said cheerily.
Snorting, I put the terrarium down and then rolled over, staying on my hands and knees a few seconds to make sure my head wasn’t going to roll off. “Need to get that pizza,” I announced. I also needed to make sure I had plenty of water and some aspirin nearby. The last thing I needed tomorrow morning was to be hungover.
The dregs of a pizza littered the coffee table. A dozen bottles of nail polish added a little bit of color. Kendra and I had given each other manicures and we were wrapping up the pedicures.
I had a pale, frosty pink on my fingernails and the same color graced my toes as well. Kendra had gone with a metallic golden sheen that would complement the dress she was wearing on Saturday.
“I love the gel stuff,” she said, studying her hand. “It’s amazing.”
I nodded in agreement. I was going to cancel my appointment for tomorrow. As much as I loved getting a manicure and pedicure, Kendra and I did them pretty well ourselves and that would free up more time to spend with my family. The frosty pink on my nails was topped with a sparkly overcoat. It was soft, sweet and subtle. I loved it.
The color also matched the lingerie I’d selected to wear under my new wedding dress. It was a lovely cocktail dress, a soft ivory that glowed against my skin and made the most of my curves. I wasn’t going to be as dolled up as I would be in October for the formal event Edward still wanted, but I’d still look amazing. Best of all, I’d look like me.
“Think we’d have time to give your sisters a mani and pedi with these colors?” Kendra asked, waggling her nails at me. “We could all match.”
I pursed my lips. “I don’t know. We’ll have to see. I know Suzanne already got one, but whoever says no to a manicure?”
“Not me.”
Kendra and all three of my sisters were bridesmaids. I’d considered having Kendra be my maid of honor, but I’d been Suzanne’s since Catherine had been pregnant with Cameron, so it had only seemed right to ask her to be mine. Well, technically my matron of honor since she was married.
“It kinda sucks you two can’t take a real honeymoon yet,” Kendra said, tossing the nail polish down and leaning back against the couch.
“It’s not a big deal. We’re taking three weeks in October.” I shrugged as I used a tissue with alcohol to shine up my nails. Kendra took the alcohol from me and did the same with hers. They looked better than professional, in my opinion. “We’re going to the lodge for four days. He proposed there.”
“Oh!” Kendra looked at me, her face shining. “That’s so romantic.”
I wished I had her excitement. I couldn’t find even a tenth of it, although I sure as hell faked it. “I know, right?” Would it be totally awful if the thing I was looking forward to the most about the trip was being away from his family and sleeping? For long, uninterrupted hours.
As we started to clean up from the pizza, we made small talk, then decided on a movie. It almost felt like the way things had been before I’d met Edward. The easy banter between Kendra and I that had been missing for so long seemed to be back and it did so much to ease the tension inside me, but as the night wound to a close, I could feel it returning. Not between me and Kendra, but just in general.
Kendra fell asleep before I did, curled up in a scoop chair. Since I didn’t want to wake her up by pulling the bed out, I just settled down on the couch itself, using a blanket and a throw pillow.
Soon, I thought, it would be Friday.
Then Saturday.
And I’d be married.
My gut gave a crazy little heave at the thought of it and I closed my eyes. Married. I would be married. Gabriella Bouvier. I thought of signing my name that way, thought of holidays spent with his family. Thought of holidays spent with my family and I sighed. How often would he end up working? Would I be one of those women who always had to make excuses for why her husband wasn’t at family functions? And what about kids? Would I be raising them or would the Bouviers insist on a nanny?
Why was I just now thinking of any of this?
Maybe now wasn’t the time…
But it was almost Friday. And then it would be Saturday…
My mind kept turning in circles while noise and light from the city filtered in through the curtains. Eventually, it lulled me to sleep.
Thirteen
It was almost noon.
The luggage pick-up at JFK was insane. I don’t know if that was normal, but I assume it was. I’d driven to New York and I hadn’t flown anywhere since I’d arrived.
Paul was outside with Jennifer, Amber and my parents, while Jackson, Cody and I waited for Catherine and her boys. Once they were here, we could go. Duncan and Suzanne had come in with their families two hours ago and Paul had already gotten them set up at the hotel Edward was paying for. Since he’d already reserved a block of rooms for all of our out of town guests, my family didn’t argue too much about paying for them.
I was so ready to go.
The crowds were insane, a rush of chaos and noise coming from everywhere. Despite the crush, it didn’t take anything to recognize the familiar tumble of curls as Catherine came around the corner. I couldn’t see the boys through the horde of bodies, but I knew they were there.
She didn’t see me though. Jackson and Cody, however, towered above everyone else. At six-four, Cody was bigger, but Jackson was close. Catherine headed straight for them, a determined look on her face. When she passed by, I couldn’t resist and I grabbed her arm.
I just barely managed to dodge the elbow she threw my way and then I was being nearly tackled by my nephews.
Catherine glared at me, but there wasn’t any malice in her dark eyes. That was good. I’d been afraid she’d be holding on to some jealousy about my marriage. I knew it bothered her sometimes that neither of the boys’ fathers had even considered proposing.
“I guess it’s true.” She shoved her dark curls out of her face. “New York City is full of people who want to mug you or corrupt you.” She pursed her lips thoughtfully and gave me a once over. “You don’t look like you’ve been suitably corrupted. Want me to come back and check on you in a few years?”
“Oh, I’m totally corrupted, but I blame you for that.” We waited a beat and then flung ourselves at each other for a hug. I felt a rush of relief that at least my family was going to be drama-free. “I’m so happy you’re here!” I broke away after only a few seconds. “Come on. We got to move. We’ve got things to do, places to go.”
“You’re in such a hurry,” she said, sighing as I caught her arm and dragged her over to the conveyor belt.
Luggage had already started coming around and by some twist of l
uck, hers was one of the first to come around. Jackson took it while she spoke briefly to Cody, shaking his hand and asking about Edward. Cameron and Ritchie kept interrupting, clambering for Cody’s attention. He’d made quite the impression on all my nieces and nephews when he’d gone down to Tennessee with me.
“He’s finishing up last minute business things,” I said in a lull.
“Running the fashion world takes up a lot of time.” Cody nodded soberly, his eyes glinting with humor.
“He should try running a house with two boys.” Catherine grinned at him as she slung the strap of her purse higher up her shoulder. “So. What’s first?”
We didn’t have much time for sightseeing, but there were two places that pretty much defined New York City for me and those were the two places on my list.
Times Square and Central Park.
The madness of the square was just so very New York, even as it dripped with touristy stuff. After that, I’d show them the serenity of the park, the spots I thought of as mine. We’d save anything else for the next time they came to visit. By then, I’d feel comfortable enough to pay for anything they needed to make the trip. Maybe we could even have Christmas up here.
But for now, we didn’t have that much time. Two stops were about all we could do. After that, well, there wouldn’t be time for much else. We had the rehearsal dinner tonight and my bachelorette party.
Catherine’s eyes couldn’t have gotten any wider when we came out of the terminal and she saw the limo waiting there, and our parents in front of it, watching for us.
The long, gleaming black car belonged to the Bouvier family, but they only used it on occasion. Generally, a town car was a lot easier for getting around in the city, but Paul had thought my family would enjoy it and I’d agreed. The other one was picking up the rest of the family.