Chapter x.
Showing the truth of many observations of Ovid, and of other moregrave writers, who have proved beyond contradiction, that wine isoften the forerunner of incontinency.
Jones retired from the company, in which we have seen him engaged,into the fields, where he intended to cool himself by a walk in theopen air before he attended Mr Allworthy. There, whilst he renewedthose meditations on his dear Sophia, which the dangerous illness ofhis friend and benefactor had for some time interrupted, an accidenthappened, which with sorrow we relate, and with sorrow doubtless willit be read; however, that historic truth to which we profess soinviolable an attachment, obliges us to communicate it to posterity.
It was now a pleasant evening in the latter end of June, when ourheroe was walking in a most delicious grove, where the gentle breezesfanning the leaves, together with the sweet trilling of a murmuringstream, and the melodious notes of nightingales, formed altogether themost enchanting harmony. In this scene, so sweetly accommodated tolove, he meditated on his dear Sophia. While his wanton fancy roamedunbounded over all her beauties, and his lively imagination paintedthe charming maid in various ravishing forms, his warm heart meltedwith tenderness; and at length, throwing himself on the ground, by theside of a gently murmuring brook, he broke forth into the followingejaculation:
"O Sophia, would Heaven give thee to my arms, how blest would be mycondition! Curst be that fortune which sets a distance between us. WasI but possessed of thee, one only suit of rags thy whole estate, isthere a man on earth whom I would envy! How contemptible would thebrightest Circassian beauty, drest in all the jewels of the Indies,appear to my eyes! But why do I mention another woman? Could I thinkmy eyes capable of looking at any other with tenderness, these handsshould tear them from my head. No, my Sophia, if cruel fortuneseparates us for ever, my soul shall doat on thee alone. The chastestconstancy will I ever preserve to thy image. Though I should neverhave possession of thy charming person, still shalt thou alone havepossession of my thoughts, my love, my soul. Oh! my fond heart is sowrapt in that tender bosom, that the brightest beauties would for mehave no charms, nor would a hermit be colder in their embraces.Sophia, Sophia alone shall be mine. What raptures are in that name! Iwill engrave it on every tree."
At these words he started up, and beheld--not his Sophia--no, nor aCircassian maid richly and elegantly attired for the grand Signior'sseraglio. No; without a gown, in a shift that was somewhat of thecoarsest, and none of the cleanest, bedewed likewise with someodoriferous effluvia, the produce of the day's labour, with apitchfork in her hand, Molly Seagrim approached. Our hero had hispenknife in his hand, which he had drawn for the before-mentionedpurpose of carving on the bark; when the girl coming near him, cryedout with a smile, "You don't intend to kill me, squire, I hope!"--"Whyshould you think I would kill you?" answered Jones. "Nay," repliedshe, "after your cruel usage of me when I saw you last, killing mewould, perhaps, be too great kindness for me to expect."
Here ensued a parley, which, as I do not think myself obliged torelate it, I shall omit. It is sufficient that it lasted a fullquarter of an hour, at the conclusion of which they retired into thethickest part of the grove.
Some of my readers may be inclined to think this event unnatural.However, the fact is true; and perhaps may be sufficiently accountedfor by suggesting, that Jones probably thought one woman better thannone, and Molly as probably imagined two men to be better than one.Besides the before-mentioned motive assigned to the present behaviourof Jones, the reader will be likewise pleased to recollect in hisfavour, that he was not at this time perfect master of that wonderfulpower of reason, which so well enables grave and wise men to subduetheir unruly passions, and to decline any of these prohibitedamusements. Wine now had totally subdued this power in Jones. He was,indeed, in a condition, in which, if reason had interposed, thoughonly to advise, she might have received the answer which oneCleostratus gave many years ago to a silly fellow, who asked him, ifhe was not ashamed to be drunk? "Are not you," said Cleostratus,"ashamed to admonish a drunken man?"--To say the truth, in a court ofjustice drunkenness must not be an excuse, yet in a court ofconscience it is greatly so; and therefore Aristotle, who commends thelaws of Pittacus, by which drunken men received double punishment fortheir crimes, allows there is more of policy than justice in that law.Now, if there are any transgressions pardonable from drunkenness, theyare certainly such as Mr Jones was at present guilty of; on which headI could pour forth a vast profusion of learning, if I imagined itwould either entertain my reader, or teach him anything more than heknows already. For his sake therefore I shall keep my learning tomyself, and return to my history.
It hath been observed, that Fortune seldom doth things by halves. Tosay truth, there is no end to her freaks whenever she is disposed togratify or displease. No sooner had our heroe retired with his Dido,but
_Speluncam_ Blifil _dux et divinus eandem Deveniunt--_
the parson and the young squire, who were taking a serious walk,arrived at the stile which leads into the grove, and the latter caughta view of the lovers just as they were sinking out of sight.
Blifil knew Jones very well, though he was at above a hundred yards'distance, and he was as positive to the sex of his companion, thoughnot to the individual person. He started, blessed himself, and uttereda very solemn ejaculation.
Thwackum expressed some surprize at these sudden emotions, and askedthe reason of them. To which Blifil answered, "He was certain he hadseen a fellow and wench retire together among the bushes, which hedoubted not was with some wicked purpose." As to the name of Jones, hethought proper to conceal it, and why he did so must be left to thejudgment of the sagacious reader; for we never chuse to assign motivesto the actions of men, when there is any possibility of our beingmistaken.
The parson, who was not only strictly chaste in his own person, but agreat enemy to the opposite vice in all others, fired at thisinformation. He desired Mr Blifil to conduct him immediately to theplace, which as he approached he breathed forth vengeance mixed withlamentations; nor did he refrain from casting some oblique reflectionson Mr Allworthy; insinuating that the wickedness of the country wasprincipally owing to the encouragement he had given to vice, by havingexerted such kindness to a bastard, and by having mitigated that justand wholesome rigour of the law which allots a very severe punishmentto loose wenches.
The way through which our hunters were to pass in pursuit of theirgame was so beset with briars, that it greatly obstructed their walk,and caused besides such a rustling, that Jones had sufficient warningof their arrival before they could surprize him; nay, indeed, soincapable was Thwackum of concealing his indignation, and suchvengeance did he mutter forth every step he took, that this alone musthave abundantly satisfied Jones that he was (to use the language ofsportsmen) found sitting.