“Is it that bad?” Jason asked, turning so we could look at his new shiner.
His eye was beginning to swell shut.
“No.” We all shook our heads and laughed nervously.
I added, “I didn’t even notice it.”
“Me either.” Colton coughed. “It’s a really faint bruise.”
Max rolled his eyes and gripped Jason’s shoulders. “Bullshit, you look like hell. But on a happier note, at least you won’t have to look at her while she plunges her evil talons into your chest and rips your heart out. Yay you!”
Jason looked around Max’s body, directing his attention at me. “Is it normal to want to kill him half the time and then love him the other half, then want to kill him again?”
“Welcome to my world.” I sighed.
“Wait.” Max looked around. “Am I the him to whom you’re referring?”
“Jason!” Mom wailed, running into the room. “Come quick! We can’t find Jayne!”
“Yeah, because that’s going to make him want to run and join the search party,” Max grumbled.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
MILO
It was the search party from hell. Funny, hell had been the theme of the week, so it seemed almost perfect as we all started combing the grounds for Jayne.
I asked Jason why bother.
His one good eye narrowed in on me with ferocity.
“Chill, Cyclops, we’ll find Jean.” I laughed. “Hey, it’s almost like Jayne, that’s pretty funny.”
Jason wasn’t laughing.
He simply stared creepily with that one eye and stomped off toward the large oak trees in our backyard. What? Did he think she was swinging from the trees?
I laughed again. “Me Tarzan, you Jane.”
“You high?” Colton came up behind me. Solo. Thank God.
I turned and gave him the best smile I could—you know the smile, the one you hope is distracting enough to keep a guy from saying the one phrase you don’t want him to utter after a drunken night of stupidity.
“Hey, champ.” He laughed softly and wrapped his arm around me. “Are you okay?”
Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!
“Swell,” I croaked. “Don’t remember a thing.”
“You lost at cards.”
“You cheated!” I pushed against him.
“You made me take off my pants.”
“Only because you cheated.”
“I kissed you—hard.”
I shivered.
“Oh, and you puked.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Yelled at me in the car.” He continued talking as if I needed an actual list of the shameful things I’d done. “Oh, and when we got home you tried crawling onto the roof and when I wouldn’t let you, you started yelling, ‘I’m Iron Man, bitch, suit up!’ ”
My face froze in horror. “Okay, I remember everything but that.”
“Probably for the best.” Colton nodded.
I was going to kill Max for not telling me I’d done that!
“Considering it didn’t happen.” Colton smirked. “Just paying you back for seeing me naked.”
“Please, like it was a chore for you to drop your pants,” I hissed. “What, did you sprain your pinky finger? Get your little boy caught in your zipper? Hmm?”
“Little?” His eyes narrowed. “You called me a freaking superhero!”
“Guys!” Max ran up to us, then dropped to the ground and picked up a few pieces of grass in his hand, letting them slowly fall from his fingertips. “Jayne’s been here. I’d bet my life on it.”
I sighed and gave him an irritated look. “You were kicked out of Boy Scouts.”
“I was too advanced for their curriculum.” Max stood and held his hand in the air, closing his eyes.
“What’s he doing?” Colton asked.
“Shh!” Max whispered. “I’m finding Jayne.”
“You look like you’re getting sworn into office,” I replied. “Put your hand down and go see if she took any cars.”
“Oh.” Max’s eyes blinked open. “Good call. I’ll just leave you two alone, unless you need a chaperone or something. Don’t want Colton dropping his pants again. And dude, for real, that’s not how you get chicks. That’s how you get a shiny new seat in prison next to a dude who looks like a lady but has the wrong parts—feel me?” Max walked off toward the front of the house where the cars were parked.
“I, uh—” Words died on my lips as Jenna sauntered toward us. Yes, she sauntered. I swear her hips were moving so far outside her body I wanted to scream.
“Colton!” She smiled brightly. I prayed her teeth would fall out within the next few hours. “I checked all the bedrooms and even found—uh-oh.”
“What?” Colton asked. “What did you find?”
“Look.” She pointed above us; I quickly turned around to find Jason at the bottom of one of the oak trees and Reid shimmying across one of the branches.
“I believe I can fly!” he sang. “I believe I can—shit!” He slipped off one of the branches and nearly fell to his death.
“Reid! Get down here!”
“I think about it every night and day!” He continued singing and then got choked up. “Spread my wings and fly away.”
“Guys!” Max ran up to us, all out of breath. “We may have a problem, I checked the cars and then went inside to double-check bedrooms and Reid’s room had an empty bottle of—oh, shit.”
“Hey, Max!” Reid waved. “Look! I’m a bird!”
“I was thinking more . . . plane.” I shrugged.
“No.” Colton nodded and then gave a solitary clap. “That, my friends, is Superman.”
“Reid! How many happy pills did you take?” Max shouted.
Reid held up three fingers and almost slid off the branch.
“Great. There went that plan!” Max stomped over to the tree. “Reid, shimmy your ass down here before I get a shotgun and shoot you out of the leaves.”
“But I want to fly down.”
“Then imagine you’re flying and drop.”
“Dude!” Jason smacked Max. “That’s like ten feet.”
“Then let’s hope he doesn’t break his drugged ass, besides, he’s high as a kite, he won’t feel a damn thing.”
Reid nodded and then slowly, actually quite gracefully, fell from the tree, landed on his feet, somersaulted, and jumped back to his feet, lifting his hands in victory above his head.
“Nine,” I said.
“Ten.” Colton held up his hands. “Perfect ten.”
“Eh, he struggled on sticking the landing. I’m going to say seven.” Jenna tilted her head to the side. “But he gets an extra point for flair.”
Jason groaned and started hitting the tree with his hand. “We have pictures in less than two hours!”
“Found her!” Mom shouted from the house. “She was in the attic!”
“The attic?” My eyes met Colton’s. Our attic? Our special place.
“No worries!” Mom waved. “She’s getting ready in one of the bathrooms. Pictures in ninety minutes, guys!”
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
COLTON
“Are you drunk?” I watched as Jason swayed on his feet, then gripped my shoulder with his hand.
“No.” He blinked his good eye. “Just having trouble focusing on walking in a straight line due to my inability to perceive depth.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“And if you must know I’m slightly”—he held up two fingers as a form of measurement—“in-intoxicated.” He let out a burp and winced. “How does it hurt my face to burp? I swear. I blame Milo.”
I shrugged. “It’s just easier that way.”
“Are you still going to do the thing?”
“What thing?” I lied.
“The whole I-love-you thing where you rip off your shirt and show her how much you love Star Wars and that you’re willing to make a fool of yourself?”
“Nah.” I narrowed my eyes. “Ch
ange of plans.”
“Max said—”
“Screw Max!” I growled.
“Chill.” Jason held up his hands. “They’re not really together.”
“No.” I clenched my fists. “And I know he’s only trying to help now, but he’s kissed her way too many times for me to actually want to pull him in for a hug rather than a swift kick to the balls.”
“Everyone ready!” The photographer walked out onto the lawn and looked around. “Where’s the wedding party?”
Jason and I raised our hands.
Pathetic.
“Oh, er, I’m sorry, I was under the impression . . . Of course, um, never mind. Why don’t we just get a few shots of you two first, hmm?”
“Let’s get this over with,” Jason growled.
“You could at least be a little excited.” I rolled my eyes. “For me, Jason, do it for me.”
“You’re right, man.” Jason hung his head. “Forgive me?”
“Course.” I pulled him in for a tight hug.
“Keep it there!” the photographer shouted. “The light’s perfect, just keep it there.”
“Uh . . .” My arms were wrapped around Jason, his head was resting on my shoulder. Awkward didn’t even begin to describe the moment.
“Okay, now Jason, I want you to look toward the camera, remember you’re in love, all right? Good, good, now place your hand at the small of his back.”
“What the h?” I hissed in Jason’s ear.
“Shut it!” he whispered back. “The sooner we get done, the sooner the pictures are done, and I can go find Milo so she can render me blind!”
“Fine.” I clenched my teeth together.
“Oh, perfect, yes, that’s nice.” The camera went off. “Now, the other fella there, I want you to turn your head so that you’re almost touching noses.”
“I’m murdering you tonight—in your sleep,” I said through a tight smile.
Jason winced. “Not if Milo gets to me first.”
“Touché.”
“Lean in!” the photographer yelled.
I clenched my teeth. “Please tell me that you’re packing a gun.”
“Cell phone.”
“Thank God.”
“Now.” The photographer was right in front of our faces with the camera. “Just a little kiss on the cheek.”
“What?” I yelled and pushed away from Jason.
The photographer shook his head. “These pictures are forever, you know. You’re going to look back and wish you would have taken more intimate photos.”
“I highly, highly doubt that,” I grumbled under my breath, taking a tentative step toward Jason and wishing for alcohol to make me forget that I was about to touch my best friend in a familiar way.
“Just do it,” Jason hissed. “Let’s get this over with.”
“Fine.” I leaned in just as Jason leaned in, I turned my cheek but he went the opposite way, and ended up missing my cheek—only to land on my mouth.
The camera flashed.
“What are you guys doing?” Milo covered her mouth as her eyes watered with laughter.
“Oh.” The photographer turned. “Hello, I’m just taking some pictures of the happy couple.”
“Wow.” Milo grinned in approval. “That’s special. Hey, if I give you my e-mail address can you send me a few copies? And make sure the resolution is really clear, I’m thinking of making a poster.”
“Wait.” I pulled away from Jason. “I’m the best man.”
The photographer flushed, almost dropping his camera. “Ah, that explains it then.”
“Explains what?”
“No chemistry.” He shrugged. “No romance. I thought something was off—that was the worst wedding kiss I’d ever witnessed.”
I pointed at the photographer. “Hey, I’m attracted, it’s not like I don’t like my boy. It’s just not in that way.”
Yeah, wrong thing to say.
Milo burst out laughing. “No, Colton, really, keep going, it’s a romantic speech.”
“To hell with that!” I stalked toward Milo and pulled her in for a scorching kiss. My lips met hers with such force she stumbled backward. When I pulled away I looked at the photographer. “See? I like women.”
“No!” a voice wailed.
“You lying, cheating hussy!” Max screamed.
“Oh, dear God,” Jason moaned.
In that moment Jayne came around the corner with the bridesmaids, the groomsmen, her family members, and Grandma—escorted by Reid.
He smiled and waved.
Then again, he was probably still high. Note to self: lock his bedroom door tonight.
“Name your second!” Max shouted loudly, then winked like he wanted me to go along.
“That’s easy.” I rolled my eyes.
Jason puffed out his chest.
“Milo.”
“What?” He hit me.
“She’s more dangerous than you are by a long shot, admit it. Plus I figure if Max is going to shoot me it would be nice to fall into Milo’s arms before I die.”
Her breath hitched.
That’s right. I caused that reaction. Damn it, I was losing control of myself. What the hell had I been thinking? I just wanted to grab and kiss her before I even had a chance to prove to her how I felt.
“Fine, then I choose Jenna.” Max grinned.
“I feel left out,” Jason grumbled.
“You have one eye, you’re no longer welcome on Survivor island, and I’m pretty sure if we were in a plane crash—you’d get eaten first. Just sayin’.” Max raised his hands.
“Er, the pictures?” The photographer waved his camera.
“I’m ready!” Jayne interrupted our tense moment and latched herself on to Jason. “Let’s do this before my groom gets another black eye.”
Max leaned over to the photographer and whispered, “She beats him.”
“Oh, I see.” His cheeks burned red.
“But we don’t report her because he likes it—he’s one of those.” Max made a whipping sound and winked.
So everyone was drunk. Fantastic.
Milo was still staring at me, her face pale.
“Look, I’m sorry for kissing you.” I shook my head. “I just reacted and—”
She lifted her right hand, and I flinched, thinking she was going to slap me. Instead I was the happy recipient of a left hook.
“Shit!” My chin throbbed as I fell to my knees.
“Stop apologizing for kissing me!” With a tearful sob she yelled, “I’m not even engaged! It’s you! I love you, asshole! But right now I hate you. I hate you for making me feel like I’m convenient, but most of all I hate that it’s so easy for you to use me and then just put me back on the shelf. Do you think I’m happy there? Do you think I enjoy knowing what it’s like to be kissed by you, only to be rejected?”
“Milo, I—”
“No!” She wiped her eyes. “Sorry, Jason.”
With a curse she stomped off across the yard.
Max’s eyebrows lifted. “Well?”
“Well what?”
“Are you going to go after her or are you going to be a jackass and choke?”
“Stand in for me?”
Jason cursed.
“I’ve always wanted to be in a wedding.”
“Crap!” Jayne yelled. “I forgot my veil!”
“Oh, I know where it is, here, I’ll help.” Reid ran after her, looking a little less high.
“Pictures?” Mrs. Caro said in a hopeful voice as people scattered once again across the lawn and into the house.
I didn’t hear the rest of their conversation. My sole purpose was to find Milo, kiss the hell out of her, and apologize.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
MILO
I ran blindly through the house, my heart pounding against my chest as I tried to catch my breath.
Asshole.
I was sick of it—sick of being the girl he used to prove he was still in full possession of his ball
s. It felt like a pissing war. Like Colton was only using me to prove that he was the better man. Was I some prize he needed to win in order to prove his manhood? Did he think I was made of steel? That I had no feelings whatsoever? Even if everything I’d said had been true—even if I had really been with Max—the fact that Colton still thought it was okay to kiss me whenever the hell he felt like it?
It felt like he owned me.
And I hated that truth.
Because it meant he had all the power.
And I was just the type of girl to pine over him for the rest of my life—unless I cut him out.
Without a second thought, I went into the guest bedroom at the end of the hall and pulled open the door to the attic.
An old memory surfaced with each step my heels took on the stairs.
“I got the dragon, Milo!” Colton yelled. “Don’t worry, I got him.”
“Colt.” I shivered in my box castle. “I’m afraid.”
“Don’t worry, Princess!” he shouted. “I brought my sword—dragons are terrified of wooden swords, you know.”
“Really?” I perked up. That was nice to know. “Hey, Colt?”
“Yeah, Milo?”
“Does the wood sword ward off mean girls too?”
He was silent. “It scares off everything bad in the whole world, Milo. I promise.”
“Colt?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for slaying the dragon.”
“It’s my job.” His reply was swift, easy, as if it were real.
But it hadn’t been real, not at all. Because if he’d truly meant it, if my reality was that he would slay all the dragons—then he wouldn’t keep hurting me. The hero isn’t supposed to hurt the girl, he’s supposed to save her. For my entire life Colton had made me believe he was the hero out to save me, not only because it was his job, but because he wanted to, because he felt something.
Clearly he felt nothing.
Emotions clogged my throat as I reached the top of the stairs. The box castle looked exactly the same. The wooden sword was lying across the floor, and the stupid hat I used to wear was lying next to it.
With a curse I grabbed the hat, put it on, then grabbed the sword and started using it to knock the boxes over.