“I’m glad I went on that trip!” she barked. “It was rejuvenating to my spirit if not my muscles! If I can’t be a participant, at least I can be a damn good spectator! Haven’t I proven that?”
“You have, Mother,” Grace said.
“Can’t I try to walk anymore?” she asked.
“Not a chance,” Scott said. “We should keep weight off that injured ankle until we see what’s up with that. I suspect a minor sprain. And if you decide to try walking, you need a strong person on each side. Let’s not break a bone or get a concussion.”
Charlie had his phone out and was texting.
“Who are you talking to?” Lin Su quietly demanded.
“I’ll skip my workout today,” he said. “I’ll just tell Blake I’m not coming over.”
“No,” Winnie said. “You go! It’s a commitment. In fact, all of you go! I want a few minutes alone.”
“I’ll stay, of course,” Lin Su said.
“Fine, but stay in another room! I need a few minutes to get my head wrapped around this. I’m not happy about this! I’m not ready for this!”
“Call me for any reason,” Scott said, getting ready to leave. “Call even if you only want to talk about it for a while.”
“I’ll go,” Charlie said. “But I won’t work out as long...”
Grace kissed her forehead. “I’ll check on the shop, close early and be back soon.”
“I’ll go with. We’ll bring dinner home,” Troy said.
Lin Su straightened the throw that covered Winnie and drifted silently out of the room.
Mikhail was the last to remain. He looked at her without pity and said, “Ten minutes, then I am back.”
* * *
Winnie wept for a while, not making a sound until she blew her nose. She would not be pitied! She was too young to die but with some of the risks she’d taken in her life, she should be dead a hundred times. Some of the jumps she’d attempted back in the day were suicidal. When she was competing on the ice, there had not been so many regulations and rules. And of course they’d flown into unfriendly countries from time to time, because the competition was important. Hell, they’d flown and driven through dangerous weather; she’d never missed a competition. She even skated with bronchitis once and landed in the hospital. Then, with a champion daughter in tow, though she’d taken more precautions than with just herself, there had been risks. She’d been in two car accidents and one of her privately rented jets had gone off the runway in a snowstorm.
But she was too young to die. And too proud to die this way. Weak and crippled.
Mikhail walked into the room carrying his newspaper. He might be one of the last people in the state to read an actual paper rather than getting all his news online or on TV. He moved the throw from his chair and sat without saying a word. He shook out his paper, put his reading specs on his nose and looked at the paper.
“I said I wanted to be alone for a while,” Winnie said.
“Makes no sense,” he returned, not looking at her.
“Go away. I’m having a little cry.”
“You do better with audience,” he said. “I won’t leave you.”
“Leave for an hour,” she said.
Seemingly exasperated, he put down the paper. He folded and put away his glasses and went to sit on the side of her bed. “I said, I will not leave you.”
“You keep saying you’re leaving soon,” she reminded him with a sniff. She blew her nose again.
“What can I say? I am terrible liar. I will stay.”
“Till the end?”
“I don’t know if I have that much time,” he said. “When is end?”
“That’s the problem, Mikhail. We don’t know.”
“Then I stay,” he said. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on her head. “I stay to remind you how lucky you are. To live in house built around you.”
“I’ll think about that when I’m done here.”
“Is possible you could have forced Grace to San Francisco to sit about and wait for you to die. Is possible. But you could not bring all these good people to San Francisco to watch you die. Every day is party here. The little nurse, the boy, the new son, the neighbors, the baby is almost here. We didn’t think to see baby! When I go, I hope there is someone.”
“If you stay here, I will leave them to you,” she said.
“Is generous offer,” he admitted. “I will think on it. But today, I will stay with you. You need me. I am the only sense you have some days.”
She laughed at him. “And some days you’re my only trip to the bathroom.”
“I am man of many skills.”
“It’s not going to get better, you know.”
He shrugged. “I won’t get better also,” he said. “I am old Russian. There is no cure.”
She laughed again. She blew her nose. “I wanted to just cry.”
“You are lousy at it,” he said. He lifted her hand and kissed it. “You are better as queen. Matriarch. Dominatrix.”
She roared with laughter. “Dominatrix?” she asked. “Have you been watching cable again?”
“Only when very lonely and tired.”
“When you’re lonely and tired, you should come to me. While you can.”
“I do, Your Majesty. Now, are you going to...what does Grace say? Get it together.”
“Just hold me a minute, will you?” she asked.
“Is my best talent,” he said, pulling her close. He stroked her back and she rested her head on his shoulder. “See? Everything is okay.”
She sighed. It was okay. Some people didn’t get this much love in a lifetime. Even after being one of the most impossible mothers in the world, she had her daughter home and she was surrounded by people she loved. In the house that had been built around her.
Sixteen
Winnie was not a bit surprised that even Blake showed up for dinner. Charlie had told him she had taken a fall and he wouldn’t stay away. And Charlie had, as promised, cut his workout a little short. Grace had closed the shop early and Troy brought home spinach lasagna, garlic bread and pie and ice cream. Grace was putting out plates while Lin Su warmed the dinner and bread.
“I’ll set a place for you if you’ll stay, Blake,” she said.
“Tonight I’d like to stay,” he said.
Winnie looked up in surprise. “You don’t have to indulge in our blue-collar food just because I twisted my ankle,” she said. “We won’t be offended if you want to go home to your tree bark, lawn clippings and yak livers.”
He grinned at her. “I’ll take extra vitamins,” he said. “I’m not getting ready for a race right now.”
“You won’t train?” she asked.
“Of course I will, but I won’t follow the rigid protocol—oh, never mind. You’re never going to ease up on my diet. So, I’ll have a beer.”
“That’s what I’m talking about,” Troy said, nearly lunging for the refrigerator.
“Tell us what the baby doctor said,” Winnie asked.
“We’re right on schedule and in perfect health, if a little overweight. I’m going to call Ginger and explain that it wouldn’t be a good time for me to come to the Lacoumette farm for her wedding. Peyton can stand up for her.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Winnie said to Grace. “Can I please have a glass of wine? I’ll want a straw in it, of course, so I’m not wearing it by the end of dinner. Grace, please go to the wedding. You’ve been looking forward to it. Soon enough you’ll have a new baby and a very infirm mother holding you down. This might be one of your last chances to get away.”
“I’ll be home,” Blake said. He automatically got up and went to the wine rack in the kitchen, selecting a bottle. He showed it to Winnie like an experienced waiter.
“Lovely,” she approved.
He went to the kitchen to open it and pour. He fixed a glass for Mikhail, as well. “I’ll be available if you need help getting around or if you have errands,” Blake said.
“That’s very kind,” Winnie said. “I’d rather you take my nurse on a proper date. Mikhail and I will be fine. We just need a little assist from Lin Su before she leaves for the evening. I’m not going to foolishly try to reach my walker again.”
“A movie, maybe,” Grace said. “Either a really scary one or a really romantic one.”
“Take her to the cliffs up north where the waves are huge. That worked on Grace,” Troy said, then he lifted his eyebrows, à la Groucho Marx.
“I want you to go to the wedding, Grace,” Winnie said again. “The leaves are turning and it’ll be beautiful.”
“We even had thoughts of asking if Charlie could go,” Grace said. “I think he’d get the biggest kick out of it.”
“Charlie is allergic,” Lin Su said, bringing the dish of lasagna to the table. “And while I so appreciate all of you planning my social life, I assure you, I’m very capable of taking care of that myself.”
“I’m not going to be allergic now,” Charlie said. “Nothing’s blooming!”
“There are animals,” Lin Su said.
“Outdoor animals,” Grace said. “Besides, Scott and Peyton are going. You can’t ask for a safer trip than that.”
“I would prefer he not go.”
“I knew it,” Charlie said inconsolably.
“I bet you haven’t had many trips or nights away from your mother, have you, Charlie?” Winnie asked.
“Oh, sure, I travel like mad.”
“I propose a choice,” Blake said. “I know it doesn’t trump his mother’s decision, but Charlie can go with us to a movie or to the farm with Grace and Troy. And his doctor, of course.”
“Oh, let me think,” Charlie said. “This is a really hard one. I just don’t know if I can choose...”
Everyone at the table laughed. Except Lin Su.
“We could always let you choose the movie,” Blake said.
“Aw, man,” he said, grabbing his head in both hands. “You’re killing me!”
Lin Su put the basket of garlic toast on the table.
“Sit down, Lin Su,” Winnie said. “No one is going to tell you what to do. You’re the mother. Just a little loving interference.”
“I can take care of my own social life,” she said again.
“Of course you can, darling,” Winnie said. “Now, Grace, I want you to plan to go this weekend. After my other leg and my arms follow suit, you might not get away until my granddaughter goes to school.”
“I really don’t care, Mama. You and the baby are my priorities right now.”
“That’s really so lovely of you, darling. Now tell us all about this new employee you have...”
Grace began to serve plates of lasagna. “Ronaldo. I think I’m in love, provided he continues to behave himself. He has a very moody side, but he promises to control it.”
“I’d have a better shot at Ronaldo than you would,” Troy said, grabbing and passing the bread.
There was a lot of laughter, everyone talking at once, teasing one another, no one exempt from the interference at the table. Winnie noticed Lin Su was conspicuously quiet for a while. No wonder—people were interfering in her love life, her mothering decisions, everything but her patient care. She certainly was not singled out—everyone was in everyone else’s business. But as Lin Su kept an eye on Winnie’s plate, offering assistance to move a wine or water glass, to help her spear a piece of lasagna, she finally came around. The only one who didn’t take a lot of ribbing was Blake, probably because he was newest at the table.
Winnie thought about the fact that had she been at home in San Francisco, she would very likely have taken her dinner in her bedroom with the company of the TV. It would have been an expensive and difficult meal prepared for her by a chef, and the housekeeper or nurse who delivered it to her probably wouldn’t even stay in the room while she ate unless she needed help.
This is all I need, she thought. This oddly constructed family.
* * *
“Do you really have an interest in going to the farm with Grace and Troy?” Lin Su asked Charlie as they walked across the beach to their loft.
“I think it would be cool,” he said.
“Really? A farm? A wedding?” she pushed.
“Not just a farm, Mom. A huge farm. I’ve heard about Peyton’s wedding, people talk about it all the time. These Basque farmers get drunk and dance their butts off.”
“Lovely,” she said.
“I heard it was fun! I think you could trust me not to get drunk,” Charlie said, grinning at her.
“I don’t think a responsible parent would send her teenage son to a brawl...”
“You don’t think Troy and Scott would make sure I don’t get into trouble? You think Grace and Peyton would be a bad influence? You have to look up Basque weddings sometime—the dancing is between the men and it’s ceremonial. And there are dogs and horses.”
“You’re allergic,” she reminded him.
“Yeah, but if I start to sneeze or wheeze I can move away from the animals. If their hair is all over the bed I sleep in, I might be in trouble, but...”
“I think you just want to go on a trip without your mother,” she said.
“No offense, but it would be cool to go somewhere with Troy and Grace, Peyton and Dr. Grant. But I bet if you wanted to go...”
“I can’t leave Winnie, you know that. Especially now.”
“Then I think you should just enjoy not worrying about my allergies for a whole weekend, and if I get drunk with the Basque men and dance my butt off, you can ground me for the rest of the year.”
“You think you’re funny but I don’t,” she said.
“Just have a good weekend. Go out with Blake. And try not to get in trouble without me here to look after you.”
“I wasn’t planning anything like that, you know.”
“Not planning it, maybe, but you sure are thinking about it. And whispering into the phone late at night and looking at him with twinkling girl eyes, and when someone says his name, you look down so no one will see you like him.” She let out a little gasp. “Listen, I’m okay with it. If that’s what you’re worried about.”
She couldn’t help but smile at him. “I was worried about the opposite.”
“Huh? What’s the opposite of okay?” he asked, pushing his glasses up on his nose.
“I thought you might get too excited. That your expectations would be unrealistic. That I’d go to a movie with a male friend and you’d think it would be serious, lead to marriage or something.”
“That would be cool,” he said. “But you don’t have to marry him unless you want to.”
“Thank you,” she said. “And do you really want to go to that farm?”
“For two nights, Mom. Think you can behave yourself if I’m not here to watch you?” he asked with a devilish grin.
She ruffled his hair. “I’ll try.”
* * *
On Friday morning at nine Lin Su stood outside Winnie’s house with Charlie while Troy put a suitcase and Charlie’s duffel in the trunk. She did not ask him even once if he had his inhaler and EpiPen. And it was not easy. She also did not say that it was the first time she’d ever be separated from him for over twenty-four hours. Even early in her nursing career when she’d been assigned the graveyard shift, she was only away from him for ten hours. He was probably already more than aware of that fact. But she did say she would miss him.
“I’ll miss you, too, Mom,” he said sweetly.
“I bet you won’t think of me twice,” she said.
?
??Sure I will.”
He endured a hug and kiss on the cheek, then he couldn’t get on the road fast enough. She just stood there, watching them drive away. She pulled her jacket more tightly around her and the car had long been out of sight when she saw a cyclist come up the road.
Blake rode up to her and stopped. He balanced without putting a foot down, just moving his feet back and forth on the pedals, showing off. He was all sweaty; he’d probably been riding for at least a couple of hours. God, he was gorgeous. She looked at those rock-hard thighs and fought a sigh. His shorts and shirt fit like skin and revealed every muscle; his riding gloves on the handlebars accentuated his strong, sexy forearms.
He finally put his foot on the ground and removed his helmet. “Did you let him go?”
“I told you I said yes.”
“I wondered if you’d chicken out at the last minute, come up with a reason he couldn’t go.”
“Hah. You’ve obviously never had a teenage boy. I’d never have heard the end of it.”
“I’ve had about a hundred of ’em at one time or another. They’re relentless. We have a date tonight, then?”
“Sure. What do you want to do?”
“Well, since I’m devious and just want to be alone with you, I thought I’d cook you a very nice dinner. While I’m finishing that, you can search through the movie guide and pick one. Anything you want.”
“Any preferences?” she asked.
“Something that you’ll need to be held through, that would be my preference.”
“I’ll be over after I settle Winnie for the night. Full disclosure—I’m going to tell her we’re staying in for dinner and a movie and she should call me for any reason.”
“Of course. They’re a little shorthanded right now. But you know she won’t bother you unless there’s an epic disaster.”
“I’m going to tell her not to wait that long.”
“Everything’s going to be fine, you know,” he said. “For them. For us.” He leaned toward her. “Kiss me.”
“Outside? Where anyone can see?”
“Anyone with a telescope, maybe. It’s okay, Lin Su. We have permission from the most important guy.”