True enough. Charlie had endorsed the idea. “I’m sure he didn’t realize all he was agreeing to,” she said.
“Oh, trust me, Charlie knows. Charlie is counting the days till he can get it on with a girl.”
“Oh, God, please don’t even say that.”
“Kiss me,” he said.
She leaned toward him. She tried giving him a little peck on the lips but he slipped his arm around her and pulled her close for a much deeper kiss. Deep and filled with the promise of greater things to come.
“You’re very sneaky,” she said. “And you’re sweaty.”
“It’s going to be a very long day,” he said. “Get to work. Let me know approximately when you’ll be over. Text me.”
* * *
Time did indeed crawl through the day.
There were a few new routines for Winnie caused by the progression of her disease. First of all, now that using the walker alone was out of the question, she had to use the wheelchair to move around. Lin Su would have preferred if Winnie would settle for the bedpan for those middle of the night bathroom breaks, but she wouldn’t have it. Lin Su really couldn’t blame her; that would come soon enough. But she hoped she had fully convinced Mikhail not to try to just walk her to the bathroom. Although he was a mighty strong little guy and Winnie was quite small, it was risky.
She still had some strength in one leg, but it was not dependable. Lin Su taught them how to transfer her in and out of the chair, over to the commode, back again. A lap robe helped with modesty, but she assumed that after several months of spending the night in the same room, Mikhail had taken on some more personal tasks for Winnie. He had become a very competent nurse.
Before this was over, there would be many personal duties. Right now Winnie had difficulty with daily living—she couldn’t button her own clothes, couldn’t comb her hair, even brushing her teeth was a challenge. Her hands were trembling and uncertain and she dropped things easily, so they chose meals carefully. And the hospital bed was due to be delivered on Monday—that would allow her to lower the bed so the transfer to the wheelchair would be safer and it would be easier for her to sit up in bed.
But from this point on, it was only going to be a greater challenge every day. And although Winnie hated it, she needed more assistance every day. Soon, even though Mikhail resisted, she was going to have to consider help for the night. A skilled nurse’s aide would be perfect.
Though it seemed like the day lasted forever, Lin Su was actually excused from her duties a little early. She took the time to go back to her loft to freshen up and then knocked on Blake’s door.
And walked right into his arms.
She had wondered and worried all day long about what this evening would be like, alone for so many hours. But once in his arms, once his lips touched hers, nothing mattered anymore. Why would she ever be tense or concerned about being with him? He made her feel completely secure.
“This is more than I hoped for,” he said. “I was telling myself to be patient, that your day might be extra-long with everyone away.”
“It was the opposite. Though she denies it, Winnie put all her energy into getting me out of there early—I think she’s matchmaking. I even had time to go home and change. But my car is in your drive. Winnie knows I’m here, of course, but to the rest of the world who passes by your house, well...” She shrugged. “The secret is out.”
He took her hand and pulled her inside. “I wasn’t keeping it a secret. I don’t want to be a secret. I want everyone to know we’re together.” He pulled out a chair and sat her at the table. It was already appointed with place mats, plates, even a couple of candles, though they weren’t lit yet. “I’m going to get you a glass of wine. Then I want you to tell me about your day.”
“It’s as I knew it would be—the days get a little busier. I’ve done this before, remember. Winnie isn’t my first patient with slowly deteriorating health and mobility. It seems cruelly fast to her, but it’s a little bit every day.”
He brought her a glass of wine and put one down for himself. Their places were next to each other at the corner of the table. He brought a plate of softened brie, crackers and fruit and sat down beside her.
“She started telling me I could leave early before she even had her nap. Then when she was up, she asked for an early dinner—something light and easy, something I shouldn’t go to any trouble with. Scrambled eggs and toast points. And she wanted her washup and nightgown before dinner. She told me to fold back the bedcovers and leave.”
“God bless Winnie,” he said, cutting her a slice of brie on a cracker and putting it on her small plate. Then he raised his glass to her. “Now you’re all mine.”
She took a sip, then a bite. “I’m still trying to figure out how we got here.”
He laughed at her. “I got here with a look. I took one look at you and thought, Her. She’s the one. Then I doubted my own common sense because you were one angry little girl. From that point on I had to work hard for you.”
“I wasn’t mad,” she said.
“Oh, yes, you were. Or maybe self-protective. Proving to you that you didn’t have to protect yourself from me wasn’t easy. Once you let me kiss you, everything fell into place.” He fixed her another cracker and cheese. “I wondered if I’d ever get that close to you.”
“Well, I certainly hadn’t planned on it,” she said with a little laugh. She plucked a slice of apple off the plate. “Are you feeding me crackers and cheese for dinner?”
“Dinner is ready and staying warm,” he said.
“I thought I smelled something wonderful.”
“Chicken and vegetables with a mushroom rice on the side.” Then he leaned toward her for a lovely, slow kiss that tasted of wine and apples.
“Is every day going to be like this?” she asked.
“Better,” he said. “Come here.” He pulled on her hand until she was sitting on his lap. “Of course we’ll make adjustments. We have Charlie to think about. Why did you let him go? So we could have this time?”
She shook her head. “I don’t like it but I have to let him have more freedom or he’ll resent me. I don’t want that.”
“He’s a smart kid, Lin Su. He’s going to be an easy one to raise.” He fed her another apple slice, stole another kiss. “You’re delicious,” he whispered.
She put her arms around his neck and gave all her attention to the next kiss, moving over his mouth hungrily. Her glass wasn’t even half-empty, yet she felt a warmth like wine spread through her, leaving her yearning. “Did you plan this seduction?” she asked a little breathlessly.
“Planned, prayed, hoped... This is all up to you, Lin Su. I know it’s been a very long time...”
“Long,” she said, kissing him again.
She wanted to tell him things—that this felt right, that he made her want him almost desperately, that she didn’t want anything to ever change between them. That he was right: she was falling in love. But she couldn’t whisper all these things and kiss him, so she kissed him. The yearning reached all the way into her and drew on her; her nipples felt hard and her pelvis was soft. She wiggled a little on his lap, wanting him, and it was obvious he was aroused.
“Are you starving?” he asked.
A little laugh against his lips escaped her. “Oh, yes,” she said. “But I think dinner can wait.”
With those words he pressed harder against her, pushing into her, and it felt so good she wanted to cry. But he wasn’t giving her any time to think about it. He pushed her off his lap, stood and led her by the hand to his bedroom. She only had time for a glance around before he was on her lips again; that one glance showed her the bed was ready, the comforter folded back and out of the way. The fireplace was lit and a small lamp cast dim shadows around the room.
And Blake put his arms around her, drawing her
to him. He slid his warm hands under her sweater and his sure and skilled fingers caressed her, bringing her longing alive. Her sweater was pulled off and tossed away; the lacy bra followed. His shirt disappeared and he held her, chest to chest, skin to skin, hungrily devouring her mouth. He kissed his way down her neck and chest to take a nipple into his mouth and gently tug. With her hands in his hair, she held him there. Her head dropped back and she whispered, “Never stop...”
That brought a lusty chuckle from him and he lifted his head. He pushed her back on the bed and undressed her the rest of the way, boots first, then those tight little jeans. When she was down to a lacy thong, he stopped to just gaze at her a moment. “Good Lord,” he whispered. He sat on the bed beside her and ran a curious finger around the front of the thong, following that finger with a soft kiss, a little lick.
And then he quickly stripped and joined her on the bed, pulling her into his arms.
Against his naked body, she gave herself over to him, trusting, thrilled by every touch. She explored him with her hands while he made a slow, luxurious study of her body with his lips and fingers. She was so lost in the moment she wasn’t even aware he’d searched in his drawer for a condom until he was rolling it on. And then he was kneeling between her spread legs, finding the way home. Slow and deep, he possessed her.
She let out a low moan and closed her eyes. He was still, filling her. Unmoving, his breath came a little faster. Then he moved, slowly at first, teasing her, bringing the wave of pleasure that was rising and rising in her. She held her breath, her knees bending as she pushed back against him, stroke for stroke, panting, and in no time at all the dam broke and she was sailing away. She grabbed him, holding him tightly inside, the spasms so deliriously, wildly good she felt temporarily blinded, whispering his name over and over.
He was on her lips, kissing her deeply, lovingly, while his body gave back to her what she’d given him. Her arms around him, holding him close, she felt the pulsing pleasure of his climax.
Then they were still. Lovers, breathing fast, clinging to each other, exchanging small kisses, whispering, smiling, laughing a little.
“That was amazing,” he said.
“Better than that. I thought it might be awkward.”
“Not awkward,” he said. “Almost practiced. Perfect.”
“Did we make love for hours?” she asked.
He laughed. “Minutes.”
“I think I passed out.”
“No, you didn’t. You were with me all the way. You’re beautiful.” He ran his hands through her hair, spreading it out on his pillow. “I’m going to want more of you.”
“Ooooh, just the mention...” She could feel her insides tighten at the mere suggestion and she was game for more.
And he hummed his agreement.
* * *
Dinner was very late and the vegetables had lost their crispness in the warm oven. “I’ll have to try to impress you with my cooking another time,” Blake said.
“I think I was the one who said dinner could wait, but I admit, I wasn’t thinking about the food at all.”
“I approve,” he said, reaching out and stroking her cheek with a knuckle. He couldn’t stop touching her, couldn’t allow very much space between them.
He had offered her a robe but she asked for a soft, roomy T-shirt. She sat, quite comfortably, at the table with one slim leg bent up at the knee, her foot on the chair. It gave him enormous pleasure that she was so at ease, both with him and in his house.
They had made love twice and he hoped there would be at least one more time. “Stay with me tonight,” he said.
“All night?” she asked.
“Please. There won’t be very many nights that’s possible.”
“What if we don’t sleep well together?”
“I’m not worried about that at all. I’m a little worried we won’t sleep at all because we’re drugged with sex.” He felt a shiver run through him. She was amazing. Unexpectedly erotic and free. “I admit, I hadn’t expected you to trust me enough to...”
“I completely lost control,” she said, briefly glancing away.
He touched her hand. “Don’t be shy with me,” he said. “You don’t have to be embarrassed. You’re a dream come true.”
“A dream come true in the sack?” she teased.
“There, too.”
And soon they were back in bed, making love again, more slowly this time, experimenting a little, trying a little variety, finding the fit always perfect, the satisfaction impossibly great.
And then he held her in his arms and whispered to her, telling her he had never expected to meet someone like her, to find a woman he couldn’t imagine ever being parted from at this stage in his life. “Tell me a little more about your life before Charlie.”
“Trust is not easy for me,” she said. “Like you, I had been abandoned. It makes no sense—my mother didn’t throw me away—she was very sick, and I was told she died. Many Vietnamese didn’t make it out of the boat lift alive. Many suffered severe illness as refugees. My mother was very, very young when I was born. It was never spoken of but it suggests she wasn’t a willing partner when I came along. Somewhere—the refugee camp, here in the US when she was living hand to mouth with other refugees—at some time she became pregnant and was only fifteen when I was born.”
It was hard for Blake to imagine. Lin Su was so small. A fifteen-year-old girl, so tiny, giving birth?
“My mother was sent to the US because her father was an American serviceman. I don’t know if she ever found him. I think not. But my adoptive parents had very few facts about my family ties. They scooped me up, three years old, dressed me like an American girl doll and raised me in a small mansion. And their friends always said, ‘Isn’t she cute?’ until I was eighteen. I don’t believe I was a beloved daughter. By the time I was ten I knew I was their project.”
“That would have been lonely,” he said.
“It was lonely, but I wasn’t sure how to cope. When I was eighteen and pregnant, nowhere to go, I went to a manicure shop owned by a Vietnamese family. They trained me, though I had to take classes and be licensed, but they gave me a way to make money. There were other immigrants who would share space. A little bit of the language came back to me and I was very grateful for them.” She turned and looked up at him. “But I didn’t belong there, either. If I were ever to look for my people, I wouldn’t know where to start.
“So there,” she said. “Now you know why I am stubborn and difficult. The only place I feel safe is on my own, with my son.”
“Does Charlie know all this? Your personal story? How complicated your life really was?”
“He knows I am adopted, that I was unmarried when he was born, that I am estranged from my adoptive family. That’s more than enough to weigh on a young boy’s mind.”
“I think he should know all about your journey. So he understands why you are who you are. So he doesn’t have questions. So he never feels that he doesn’t belong.”
“He belongs to me!” she said sternly. “I don’t want him to carry my burdens, too.”
“As long as you understand that secrets separate people from one another. Not telling important things creates distance.”
“I tell all the important things,” she said.
“I want you to feel safe with me,” he said.
“I’ve told you more than anyone,” she said. “I must feel safe with you or I couldn’t be here with you like this.”
Seventeen
The leaves continued to color and then quickly fall in the cold rain on the coast of Oregon. Through this brisk and then wet autumn, several couples seemed to be thriving. Blossoming. Lin Su and Blake were spending as much time together as they could wrestle, and it wasn’t easy. Many evenings Blake would join Winnie’s household for dinne
r just to be near Lin Su and Charlie. On those nights Lin Su wasn’t needed for the dinner and bedtime rituals, he would cook for Lin Su and Charlie. Or he might take them out to dinner. Or, less often, Charlie was content at home in the loft with his laptop, schoolwork and TV while Blake stole Lin Su away for a little time together.
They were the talk of the town. She was glowing in her newfound role as Blake’s girlfriend. And Blake seemed to be constantly smiling.
Other couples were also showing great happiness. Grace and Troy, for one. Grace now had dependable help in the flower shop and was slacking off on her workload a little bit, getting ready to have a baby girl. She always knew it would be a girl, and though Troy insisted it would be a son, he was thrilled.
Peyton was seen walking the town’s main street or across the beach whenever she could, determined to keep her weight under control so she could regain her figure. Her mother kept shipping fattening Basque food in Styrofoam coolers overnight; it was irresistible. Scott dove in whenever a shipment came, and while Peyton tried to resist, she wasn’t doing so well. For the Grants, it would be a boy. Scott was already lobbying for another child after this one to even up the family. The next, he proclaimed, would be a girl.
Iris and Seth Sileski were positively euphoric about the possibilities of their future family—they were having a girl. Sileskis didn’t get a lot of girls—there was only the one granddaughter before this one and Seth’s parents had brought three sons to the family. Seth and Iris had come together after years of separation—they’d known each other since childhood and now, reunited, in love and marriage, were adding to the local population.
Even some of the more mature couples in town were enjoying bliss just prior to the holidays. Carrie and Rawley were now officially living together in Carrie’s house. Ray Anne and Al couldn’t be happier or more settled, proud of Al’s foster sons and how well they were doing in school and in their home life. Sarah and Cooper were kicking around the idea of squeezing out one more baby before calling it quits on the reproductive front.
But one couple, long married, seemed to be on the skids. Norm Sileski came home from the service station one cold and rainy afternoon just a week before Thanksgiving and his wife, Gwen, said, “I want a divorce.”