CHAPTER IV
It's Just the very Biggest Thing in the World
Hardly was it shut when Mrs. Challenger darted out from thedining-room. The small woman was in a furious temper. She barred herhusband's way like an enraged chicken in front of a bulldog. It wasevident that she had seen my exit, but had not observed my return.
You brute, George! she screamed. You've hurt that nice young man.
He jerked backwards with his thumb.
Here he is, safe and sound behind me.
She was confused, but not unduly so.
I am so sorry, I didn't see you.
I assure you, madam, that it is all right.
He has marked your poor face! Oh, George, what a brute you are!Nothing but scandals from one end of the week to the other. Everyonehating and making fun of you. You've finished my patience. This endsit.
Dirty linen, he rumbled.
It's not a secret, she cried. Do you suppose that the wholestreet--the whole of London, for that matter---- Get away, Austin, wedon't want you here. Do you suppose they don't all talk about you?Where is your dignity? You, a man who should have been RegiusProfessor at a great University with a thousand students all reveringyou. Where is your dignity, George?
How about yours, my dear?
You try me too much. A ruffian--a common brawling ruffian--that'swhat you have become.
Be good, Jessie.
A roaring, raging bully!
That's done it! Stool of penance! said he.
To my amazement he stooped, picked her up, and placed her sitting upona high pedestal of black marble in the angle of the hall. It was atleast seven feet high, and so thin that she could hardly balance uponit. A more absurd object than she presented cocked up there with herface convulsed with anger, her feet dangling, and her body rigid forfear of an upset, I could not imagine.
Let me down! she wailed.
Say 'please.'
You brute, George! Let me down this instant!
Come into the study, Mr. Malone.
Really, sir----! said I, looking at the lady.
Here's Mr. Malone pleading for you, Jessie. Say 'please,' and downyou come.
Oh, you brute! Please! please!
He took her down as if she had been a canary.
You must behave yourself, dear. Mr. Malone is a Pressman. He willhave it all in his rag to-morrow, and sell an extra dozen among ourneighbors. 'Strange story of high life'--you felt fairly high on thatpedestal, did you not? Then a sub-title, 'Glimpse of a singularmenage.' He's a foul feeder, is Mr. Malone, a carrion eater, like allof his kind--porcus ex grege diaboli--a swine from the devil's herd.That's it, Malone--what?
You are really intolerable! said I, hotly.
He bellowed with laughter.
We shall have a coalition presently, he boomed, looking from his wifeto me and puffing out his enormous chest. Then, suddenly altering histone, Excuse this frivolous family badinage, Mr. Malone. I called youback for some more serious purpose than to mix you up with our littledomestic pleasantries. Run away, little woman, and don't fret. Heplaced a huge hand upon each of her shoulders. All that you say isperfectly true. I should be a better man if I did what you advise, butI shouldn't be quite George Edward Challenger. There are plenty ofbetter men, my dear, but only one G. E. C. So make the best of him.He suddenly gave her a resounding kiss, which embarrassed me even morethan his violence had done. Now, Mr. Malone, he continued, with agreat accession of dignity, this way, if YOU please.
We re-entered the room which we had left so tumultuously ten minutesbefore. The Professor closed the door carefully behind us, motioned meinto an arm-chair, and pushed a cigar-box under my nose.
Real San Juan Colorado, he said. Excitable people like you are thebetter for narcotics. Heavens! don't bite it! Cut--and cut withreverence! Now lean back, and listen attentively to whatever I maycare to say to you. If any remark should occur to you, you can reserveit for some more opportune time.
First of all, as to your return to my house after your mostjustifiable expulsion--he protruded his beard, and stared at me as onewho challenges and invites contradiction--after, as I say, yourwell-merited expulsion. The reason lay in your answer to that mostofficious policeman, in which I seemed to discern some glimmering ofgood feeling upon your part--more, at any rate, than I am accustomed toassociate with your profession. In admitting that the fault of theincident lay with you, you gave some evidence of a certain mentaldetachment and breadth of view which attracted my favorable notice.The sub-species of the human race to which you unfortunately belong hasalways been below my mental horizon. Your words brought you suddenlyabove it. You swam up into my serious notice. For this reason I askedyou to return with me, as I was minded to make your furtheracquaintance. You will kindly deposit your ash in the small Japanesetray on the bamboo table which stands at your left elbow.
All this he boomed forth like a professor addressing his class. He hadswung round his revolving chair so as to face me, and he sat all puffedout like an enormous bull-frog, his head laid back and his eyeshalf-covered by supercilious lids. Now he suddenly turned himselfsideways, and all I could see of him was tangled hair with a red,protruding ear. He was scratching about among the litter of papersupon his desk. He faced me presently with what looked like a verytattered sketch-book in his hand.
I am going to talk to you about South America, said he. No commentsif you please. First of all, I wish you to understand that nothing Itell you now is to be repeated in any public way unless you have myexpress permission. That permission will, in all human probability,never be given. Is that clear?
It is very hard, said I. Surely a judicious account----
He replaced the notebook upon the table.
That ends it, said he. I wish you a very good morning.
No, no! I cried. I submit to any conditions. So far as I can see,I have no choice.
None in the world, said he.
Well, then, I promise.
Word of honor?
Word of honor.
He looked at me with doubt in his insolent eyes.
After all, what do I know about your honor? said he.
Upon my word, sir, I cried, angrily, you take very great liberties!I have never been so insulted in my life.
He seemed more interested than annoyed at my outbreak.
Round-headed, he muttered. Brachycephalic, gray-eyed, black-haired,with suggestion of the negroid. Celtic, I presume?
I am an Irishman, sir.
Irish Irish?
Yes, sir.
That, of course, explains it. Let me see; you have given me yourpromise that my confidence will be respected? That confidence, I maysay, will be far from complete. But I am prepared to give you a fewindications which will be of interest. In the first place, you areprobably aware that two years ago I made a journey to SouthAmerica--one which will be classical in the scientific history of theworld? The object of my journey was to verify some conclusions ofWallace and of Bates, which could only be done by observing theirreported facts under the same conditions in which they had themselvesnoted them. If my expedition had no other results it would still havebeen noteworthy, but a curious incident occurred to me while therewhich opened up an entirely fresh line of inquiry.
You are aware--or probably, in this half-educated age, you are notaware--that the country round some parts of the Amazon is still onlypartially explored, and that a great number of tributaries, some ofthem entirely uncharted, run into the main river. It was my businessto visit this little-known back-country and to examine its fauna, whichfurnished me with the materials for several chapters for that great andmonumental work upon zoology which will be my life's justification. Iwas returning, my work accomplished, when I had occasion to spend anight at a small Indian village at a point where a certaintributary--the name and position of which I withhold--opens into themain river. The natives were Cucama Indians, an amiable but degradedrace, with mental powers hardly superior to the average Londoner. Ihad effected some cures among them upon my way up the river, and hadimpressed them considerably with my personality, so that I was notsurprised to find myself eagerly awaited upon my return. I gatheredfrom their signs that someone had urgent need of my medical services,and I followed the chief to one of his huts. When I entered I foundthat the sufferer to whose aid I had been summoned had that instantexpired. He was, to my surprise, no Indian, but a white man; indeed, Imay say a very white man, for he was flaxen-haired and had somecharacteristics of an albino. He was clad in rags, was very emaciated,and bore every trace of prolonged hardship. So far as I couldunderstand the account of the natives, he was a complete stranger tothem, and had come upon their village through the woods alone and inthe last stage of exhaustion.
The man's knapsack lay beside the couch, and I examined the contents.His name was written upon a tab within it--Maple White, Lake Avenue,Detroit, Michigan. It is a name to which I am prepared always to liftmy hat. It is not too much to say that it will rank level with my ownwhen the final credit of this business comes to be apportioned.
From the contents of the knapsack it was evident that this man hadbeen an artist and poet in search of effects. There were scraps ofverse. I do not profess to be a judge of such things, but theyappeared to me to be singularly wanting in merit. There were also somerather commonplace pictures of river scenery, a paint-box, a box ofcolored chalks, some brushes, that curved bone which lies upon myinkstand, a volume of Baxter's 'Moths and Butterflies,' a cheaprevolver, and a few cartridges. Of personal equipment he either hadnone or he had lost it in his journey. Such were the total effects ofthis strange American Bohemian.
I was turning away from him when I observed that something projectedfrom the front of his ragged jacket. It was this sketch-book, whichwas as dilapidated then as you see it now. Indeed, I can assure youthat a first folio of Shakespeare could not be treated with greaterreverence than this relic has been since it came into my possession. Ihand it to you now, and I ask you to take it page by page and toexamine the contents.
He helped himself to a cigar and leaned back with a fiercely criticalpair of eyes, taking note of the effect which this document wouldproduce.
I had opened the volume with some expectation of a revelation, thoughof what nature I could not imagine. The first page was disappointing,however, as it contained nothing but the picture of a very fat man in apea-jacket, with the legend, Jimmy Colver on the Mail-boat, writtenbeneath it. There followed several pages which were filled with smallsketches of Indians and their ways. Then came a picture of a cheerfuland corpulent ecclesiastic in a shovel hat, sitting opposite a verythin European, and the inscription: Lunch with Fra Cristofero atRosario. Studies of women and babies accounted for several morepages, and then there was an unbroken series of animal drawings withsuch explanations as Manatee upon Sandbank, Turtles and Their Eggs,Black Ajouti under a Miriti Palm--the matter disclosing some sort ofpig-like animal; and finally came a double page of studies oflong-snouted and very unpleasant saurians. I could make nothing of it,and said so to the Professor.
Surely these are only crocodiles?
Alligators! Alligators! There is hardly such a thing as a truecrocodile in South America. The distinction between them----
I meant that I could see nothing unusual--nothing to justify what youhave said.
He smiled serenely.
Try the next page, said he.
I was still unable to sympathize. It was a full-page sketch of alandscape roughly tinted in color--the kind of painting which anopen-air artist takes as a guide to a future more elaborate effort.There was a pale-green foreground of feathery vegetation, which slopedupwards and ended in a line of cliffs dark red in color, and curiouslyribbed like some basaltic formations which I have seen. They extendedin an unbroken wall right across the background. At one point was anisolated pyramidal rock, crowned by a great tree, which appeared to beseparated by a cleft from the main crag. Behind it all, a bluetropical sky. A thin green line of vegetation fringed the summit ofthe ruddy cliff.
Well? he asked.
It is no doubt a curious formation, said I but I am not geologistenough to say that it is wonderful.
Wonderful! he repeated. It is unique. It is incredible. No one onearth has ever dreamed of such a possibility. Now the next.
I turned it over, and gave an exclamation of surprise. There was afull-page picture of the most extraordinary creature that I had everseen. It was the wild dream of an opium smoker, a vision of delirium.The head was like that of a fowl, the body that of a bloated lizard,the trailing tail was furnished with upward-turned spikes, and thecurved back was edged with a high serrated fringe, which looked like adozen cocks' wattles placed behind each other. In front of thiscreature was an absurd mannikin, or dwarf, in human form, who stoodstaring at it.
Well, what do you think of that? cried the Professor, rubbing hishands with an air of triumph.
It is monstrous--grotesque.
But what made him draw such an animal?
Trade gin, I should think.
Oh, that's the best explanation you can give, is it?
Well, sir, what is yours?
The obvious one that the creature exists. That is actually sketchedfrom the life.
I should have laughed only that I had a vision of our doing anotherCatharine-wheel down the passage.
No doubt, said I, no doubt, as one humors an imbecile. I confess,however, I added, that this tiny human figure puzzles me. If it werean Indian we could set it down as evidence of some pigmy race inAmerica, but it appears to be a European in a sun-hat.
The Professor snorted like an angry buffalo. You really touch thelimit, said he. You enlarge my view of the possible. Cerebralparesis! Mental inertia! Wonderful!
He was too absurd to make me angry. Indeed, it was a waste of energy,for if you were going to be angry with this man you would be angry allthe time. I contented myself with smiling wearily. It struck me thatthe man was small, said I.
Look here! he cried, leaning forward and dabbing a great hairysausage of a finger on to the picture. You see that plant behind theanimal; I suppose you thought it was a dandelion or a Brusselssprout--what? Well, it is a vegetable ivory palm, and they run toabout fifty or sixty feet. Don't you see that the man is put in for apurpose? He couldn't really have stood in front of that brute andlived to draw it. He sketched himself in to give a scale of heights.He was, we will say, over five feet high. The tree is ten timesbigger, which is what one would expect.
Good heavens! I cried. Then you think the beast was---- Why,Charing Cross station would hardly make a kennel for such a brute!
Apart from exaggeration, he is certainly a well-grown specimen, saidthe Professor, complacently.
But, I cried, surely the whole experience of the human race is notto be set aside on account of a single sketch--I had turned over theleaves and ascertained that there was nothing more in the book--asingle sketch by a wandering American artist who may have done it underhashish, or in the delirium of fever, or simply in order to gratify afreakish imagination. You can't, as a man of science, defend such aposition as that.
For answer the Professor took a book down from a shelf.
This is an excellent monograph by my gifted friend, Ray Lankester!said he. There is an illustration here which would interest you. Ah,yes, here it is! The inscription beneath it runs: 'Probableappearance in life of the Jurassic Dinosaur Stegosaurus. The hind legalone is twice as tall as a full-grown man.' Well, what do you make ofthat?
He handed me the open book. I started as I looked at the picture. Inthis reconstructed animal of a dead world there was certainly a verygreat resemblance to the sketch of the unknown artist.
That is certainly remarkable, said I.
But you won't admit that it is final?
Surely it might be a coincidence, or this American may have seen apicture of the kind and carried it in his memory. It would be likelyto recur to a man in a delirium.
Very good, said the Professor, indulgently; we leave it at that. Iwill now ask you to look at this bone. He handed over the one which hehad already described as part of the dead man's possessions. It wasabout six inches long, and thicker than my thumb, with some indicationsof dried cartilage at one end of it.
To what known creature does that bone belong? asked the Professor.
I examined it with care and tried to recall some half-forgottenknowledge.
It might be a very thick human collar-bone, I said.
My companion waved his hand in contemptuous deprecation.
The human collar-bone is curved. This is straight. There is a grooveupon its surface showing that a great tendon played across it, whichcould not be the case with a clavicle.
Then I must confess that I don't know what it is.
You need not be ashamed to expose your ignorance, for I don't supposethe whole South Kensington staff could give a name to it. He took alittle bone the size of a bean out of a pill-box. So far as I am ajudge this human bone is the analogue of the one which you hold in yourhand. That will give you some idea of the size of the creature. Youwill observe from the cartilage that this is no fossil specimen, butrecent. What do you say to that?
Surely in an elephant----
He winced as if in pain.
Don't! Don't talk of elephants in South America. Even in these daysof Board schools----
Well, I interrupted, any large South American animal--a tapir, forexample.
You may take it, young man, that I am versed in the elements of mybusiness. This is not a conceivable bone either of a tapir or of anyother creature known to zoology. It belongs to a very large, a verystrong, and, by all analogy, a very fierce animal which exists upon theface of the earth, but has not yet come under the notice of science.You are still unconvinced?
I am at least deeply interested.
Then your case is not hopeless. I feel that there is reason lurkingin you somewhere, so we will patiently grope round for it. We will nowleave the dead American and proceed with my narrative. You can imaginethat I could hardly come away from the Amazon without probing deeperinto the matter. There were indications as to the direction from whichthe dead traveler had come. Indian legends would alone have been myguide, for I found that rumors of a strange land were common among allthe riverine tribes. You have heard, no doubt, of Curupuri?
Never.
Curupuri is the spirit of the woods, something terrible, somethingmalevolent, something to be avoided. None can describe its shape ornature, but it is a word of terror along the Amazon. Now all tribesagree as to the direction in which Curupuri lives. It was the samedirection from which the American had come. Something terrible laythat way. It was my business to find out what it was.
What did you do? My flippancy was all gone. This massive mancompelled one's attention and respect.
I overcame the extreme reluctance of the natives--a reluctance whichextends even to talk upon the subject--and by judicious persuasion andgifts, aided, I will admit, by some threats of coercion, I got two ofthem to act as guides. After many adventures which I need notdescribe, and after traveling a distance which I will not mention, in adirection which I withhold, we came at last to a tract of country whichhas never been described, nor, indeed, visited save by my unfortunatepredecessor. Would you kindly look at this?
He handed me a photograph--half-plate size.
The unsatisfactory appearance of it is due to the fact, said he,that on descending the river the boat was upset and the case whichcontained the undeveloped films was broken, with disastrous results.Nearly all of them were totally ruined--an irreparable loss. This isone of the few which partially escaped. This explanation ofdeficiencies or abnormalities you will kindly accept. There was talkof faking. I am not in a mood to argue such a point.
The photograph was certainly very off-colored. An unkind critic mighteasily have misinterpreted that dim surface. It was a dull graylandscape, and as I gradually deciphered the details of it I realizedthat it represented a long and enormously high line of cliffs exactlylike an immense cataract seen in the distance, with a sloping,tree-clad plain in the foreground.
I believe it is the same place as the painted picture, said I.
It is the same place, the Professor answered. I found traces of thefellow's camp. Now look at this.
It was a nearer view of the same scene, though the photograph wasextremely defective. I could distinctly see the isolated, tree-crownedpinnacle of rock which was detached from the crag.
I have no doubt of it at all, said I.
Well, that is something gained, said he. We progress, do we not?Now, will you please look at the top of that rocky pinnacle? Do youobserve something there?
An enormous tree.
But on the tree?
A large bird, said I.
He handed me a lens.
Yes, I said, peering through it, a large bird stands on the tree.It appears to have a considerable beak. I should say it was a pelican.
I cannot congratulate you upon your eyesight, said the Professor.It is not a pelican, nor, indeed, is it a bird. It may interest youto know that I succeeded in shooting that particular specimen. It wasthe only absolute proof of my experiences which I was able to bringaway with me.
You have it, then? Here at last was tangible corroboration.
I had it. It was unfortunately lost with so much else in the sameboat accident which ruined my photographs. I clutched at it as itdisappeared in the swirl of the rapids, and part of its wing was leftin my hand. I was insensible when washed ashore, but the miserableremnant of my superb specimen was still intact; I now lay it beforeyou.
From a drawer he produced what seemed to me to be the upper portion ofthe wing of a large bat. It was at least two feet in length, a curvedbone, with a membranous veil beneath it.
A monstrous bat! I suggested.
Nothing of the sort, said the Professor, severely. Living, as I do,in an educated and scientific atmosphere, I could not have conceivedthat the first principles of zoology were so little known. Is itpossible that you do not know the elementary fact in comparativeanatomy, that the wing of a bird is really the forearm, while the wingof a bat consists of three elongated fingers with membranes between?Now, in this case, the bone is certainly not the forearm, and you cansee for yourself that this is a single membrane hanging upon a singlebone, and therefore that it cannot belong to a bat. But if it isneither bird nor bat, what is it?
My small stock of knowledge was exhausted.
I really do not know, said I.
He opened the standard work to which he had already referred me.
Here, said he, pointing to the picture of an extraordinary flyingmonster, is an excellent reproduction of the dimorphodon, orpterodactyl, a flying reptile of the Jurassic period. On the next pageis a diagram of the mechanism of its wing. Kindly compare it with thespecimen in your hand.
A wave of amazement passed over me as I looked. I was convinced.There could be no getting away from it. The cumulative proof wasoverwhelming. The sketch, the photographs, the narrative, and now theactual specimen--the evidence was complete. I said so--I said sowarmly, for I felt that the Professor was an ill-used man. He leanedback in his chair with drooping eyelids and a tolerant smile, baskingin this sudden gleam of sunshine.
It's just the very biggest thing that I ever heard of! said I, thoughit was my journalistic rather than my scientific enthusiasm that wasroused. It is colossal. You are a Columbus of science who hasdiscovered a lost world. I'm awfully sorry if I seemed to doubt you.It was all so unthinkable. But I understand evidence when I see it,and this should be good enough for anyone.
The Professor purred with satisfaction.
And then, sir, what did you do next?
It was the wet season, Mr. Malone, and my stores were exhausted. Iexplored some portion of this huge cliff, but I was unable to find anyway to scale it. The pyramidal rock upon which I saw and shot thepterodactyl was more accessible. Being something of a cragsman, I didmanage to get half way to the top of that. From that height I had abetter idea of the plateau upon the top of the crags. It appeared tobe very large; neither to east nor to west could I see any end to thevista of green-capped cliffs. Below, it is a swampy, jungly region,full of snakes, insects, and fever. It is a natural protection to thissingular country.
Did you see any other trace of life?
No, sir, I did not; but during the week that we lay encamped at thebase of the cliff we heard some very strange noises from above.
But the creature that the American drew? How do you account for that?
We can only suppose that he must have made his way to the summit andseen it there. We know, therefore, that there is a way up. We knowequally that it must be a very difficult one, otherwise the creatureswould have come down and overrun the surrounding country. Surely thatis clear?
But how did they come to be there?
I do not think that the problem is a very obscure one, said theProfessor; there can only be one explanation. South America is, asyou may have heard, a granite continent. At this single point in theinterior there has been, in some far distant age, a great, suddenvolcanic upheaval. These cliffs, I may remark, are basaltic, andtherefore plutonic. An area, as large perhaps as Sussex, has beenlifted up en bloc with all its living contents, and cut off byperpendicular precipices of a hardness which defies erosion from allthe rest of the continent. What is the result? Why, the ordinary lawsof Nature are suspended. The various checks which influence thestruggle for existence in the world at large are all neutralized oraltered. Creatures survive which would otherwise disappear. You willobserve that both the pterodactyl and the stegosaurus are Jurassic, andtherefore of a great age in the order of life. They have beenartificially conserved by those strange accidental conditions.
But surely your evidence is conclusive. You have only to lay itbefore the proper authorities.
So in my simplicity, I had imagined, said the Professor, bitterly.I can only tell you that it was not so, that I was met at every turnby incredulity, born partly of stupidity and partly of jealousy. It isnot my nature, sir, to cringe to any man, or to seek to prove a fact ifmy word has been doubted. After the first I have not condescended toshow such corroborative proofs as I possess. The subject becamehateful to me--I would not speak of it. When men like yourself, whorepresent the foolish curiosity of the public, came to disturb myprivacy I was unable to meet them with dignified reserve. By nature Iam, I admit, somewhat fiery, and under provocation I am inclined to beviolent. I fear you may have remarked it.
I nursed my eye and was silent.
My wife has frequently remonstrated with me upon the subject, and yetI fancy that any man of honor would feel the same. To-night, however,I propose to give an extreme example of the control of the will overthe emotions. I invite you to be present at the exhibition. Hehanded me a card from his desk. You will perceive that Mr. PercivalWaldron, a naturalist of some popular repute, is announced to lectureat eight-thirty at the Zoological Institute's Hall upon 'The Record ofthe Ages.' I have been specially invited to be present upon theplatform, and to move a vote of thanks to the lecturer. While doingso, I shall make it my business, with infinite tact and delicacy, tothrow out a few remarks which may arouse the interest of the audienceand cause some of them to desire to go more deeply into the matter.Nothing contentious, you understand, but only an indication that thereare greater deeps beyond. I shall hold myself strongly in leash, andsee whether by this self-restraint I attain a more favorable result.
And I may come? I asked eagerly.
Why, surely, he answered, cordially. He had an enormously massivegenial manner, which was almost as overpowering as his violence. Hissmile of benevolence was a wonderful thing, when his cheeks wouldsuddenly bunch into two red apples, between his half-closed eyes andhis great black beard. By all means, come. It will be a comfort tome to know that I have one ally in the hall, however inefficient andignorant of the subject he may be. I fancy there will be a largeaudience, for Waldron, though an absolute charlatan, has a considerablepopular following. Now, Mr. Malone, I have given you rather more of mytime than I had intended. The individual must not monopolize what ismeant for the world. I shall be pleased to see you at the lectureto-night. In the meantime, you will understand that no public use isto be made of any of the material that I have given you.
But Mr. McArdle--my news editor, you know--will want to know what Ihave done.
Tell him what you like. You can say, among other things, that if hesends anyone else to intrude upon me I shall call upon him with ariding-whip. But I leave it to you that nothing of all this appears inprint. Very good. Then the Zoological Institute's Hall ateight-thirty to-night. I had a last impression of red cheeks, bluerippling beard, and intolerant eyes, as he waved me out of the room.