“Alaska,” Alissa and Brad answered in unison.
Jake pulled off his bow tie and plopped down next to Alissa. “Alaska?”
“She got lost,” Brad said. “She won’t be joining us this weekend.”
“Bummer. I was looking forward to meeting her,” Jake said. “Have you seen her pictures?” he asked Alissa.
She shook her head.
“Come here.” Jake rose and led Alissa into Brad’s bedroom. It was surprisingly tidy. Alissa wondered if that was in honor of Lauren’s coming. One side of the room was set up with a long table. A computer with an extra large screen, a printer, and a variety of electronic gizmos with long cords covered the table.
“Brad,” Alissa called out in a teasing voice, “I found where you left your brain. It’s in here.”
“Don’t touch anything,” he hollered back.
“Here she is,” Jake said, lifting a picture in a brass frame from Brad’s desk. It was an informal shot with a volleyball net in the background. In the forefront, Brad and Lauren stood with their arms around each other, both laughing wildly. Lauren wore a white visor and had blond hair that continued down her side, past the frame of the photo. Her face was delicate. She was a classic beauty. Alissa could see why Lauren had caught Jake’s eye.
“Look how short Brad’s hair is,” Alissa remarked to Jake. It was shaved on the sides and clipped short on top. He looked young and had a hint of nerdiness to his appearance. “Hey, Brad, how long ago was this picture taken?” Alissa called out.
“Three years ago,” he said calmly. He was standing right behind her.
“Oh!” Alissa jumped. “I didn’t see you come in.”
“This one was two Christmases ago.” He handed her another framed print. Lauren, Brad, and a woman who had to be their mother were sitting on the floor in front of a huge Christmas tree.
“Your mom?” Alissa asked.
Brad nodded. “Stan took the picture. He’s our stepdad, but the only dad I’ve ever known.”
Brad’s admission caused Alissa to feel something soft inside. She had forgotten that Brad had lost his father, too. Someday she wanted to hear the whole story. He didn’t seem to have any problem inviting himself into other people’s private lives, but Alissa wondered if he were as open with his own intimate hurts.
“You guys want to watch a movie?” Brad asked.
“It’s almost one in the morning!” Alissa said.
“So? I’m not tired. Are you?”
“I’m up for it,” Jake said. “Do we have anything around here?”
“Yeah,” Brad said, leading them back to the living room. “I rented some foreign films today.” He picked up a stack of three videos from the floor by the TV. “This one isn’t exactly foreign. It’s an Australian surf film. This is French with subtitles, and I think this one is Italian.”
“Let’s do the Australian one,” Jake said. “I’m up for watching a movie, but I’m not up for reading one.”
“Aussie it is. You’re staying?” Brad asked Alissa.
She was wide awake. The thought of going home to Chloe didn’t sound half as fun as watching a surfing film. “Sure. I have a bunch of junk food. I’ll go get it because I don’t want it sitting around my place all weekend.”
“Cool,” Brad said. “I’ll run the head cleaner while you get the food.”
“I’m going to change,” Jake said. “Anyone else want a coffee?”
“No thanks,” Alissa said as she scooted out the door. She smiled to think of Brad conscientiously running the head cleaner through the video machine. She didn’t know any guy who did that.
Armed with cookies, candy, and microwave popcorn, Alissa returned to watch the video. The guys appreciatively helped themselves to all the goodies. Within the first two minutes of the video, Alissa could see what kind of experience this was going to be. These guys didn’t watch movies; they participated in them.
Her first clue was when Jake started to talk back to one of the characters. The film started with a surfer jogging out of a beach shack at dawn with a surfboard under his arm. He checked out the waves and called over his shoulder, “Today’s the day, mates!” Jake imitated his accent perfectly and quickly added, “Let’s take this wave all the way to Fairbanks.”
Brad added in a poorly executed accent, “Wait for me!” as a bushy haired, groggy companion came stumbling out of the shack.
The movie was nothing more than a springboard for Jake and Brad to launch their own brand of humor. Any film was a sort of electronic, visual fencing partner for their wits. Alissa watched, listened, and then found herself laughing all the way through.
“Ready for the next one?” Brad asked when all that filled the TV screen was a hot orange Australian sunset. “French or Italian?”
Alissa didn’t want to leave. Her better sense told her it must be after three and this was ridiculous. She should be mature and responsible. She should treat her body with respect and get some sleep. But one look at Brad, and Alissa heard herself say, “Italian. Definitely Italian.”
This film had a slow start. The jokes were limited because a lot of the film was silent with extensive scenery of the wine country. A long table was set outside on the pinnacle of a vineyard. Dozens of mismatched, high-back chairs surrounded the table. Covering the table was an exquisite, white linen tablecloth on which a feast was set. Only one old man sat at the table, leaning on a gnarled cane and mumbling to himself.
Jake tried to make a joke of the old man saying, “Is my athlete’s foot really that bad?” But it fell flat. The bitter old man had spent his life repelling people, and now he was befuddled as to why his family and neighbors didn’t show up when he threw a party.
Alissa started to think about her own life. She hadn’t rejected people, but she certainly hadn’t held tightly to any of her relationships. Yet in a few short months, God had brought some incredible people into her life. She wanted to hold on to their friendships and nurture them.
She had her first opportunity to make good on that decision at dawn. Once the complicated Italian film was over, Alissa was ready to get some sleep. “Good night, you guys. Or I guess I should say, good morning. Thanks for a very, very fun night. I’m sorry Lauren didn’t make it. Maybe another time. She’s always welcome to stay with me.”
“I’ll be sure to tell her what a great time she missed,” Brad said. He walked Alissa to her front door. A family of birds was awake and chirping brightly in the tree overhead. The early morning light made everything—the grass, the narrow walkway, the lace curtains on Alissa’s window, and the place by the door handle where the paint was beginning to chip—appear dreamy, soft and hazy, too sweet and rich to be real. She felt content.
“I want you to know,” Brad said, standing close to Alissa as she put her key in the lock, “I think you’re something.”
Alissa tried to chase the blush away from her cheeks by softly laughing at his comment. “Something?” she repeated. “Well, I must say, Mr. Phillips, you certainly have a way with words.”
For the first time she thought Brad looked a pinch shy. He glanced past her, his summer green eyes looking bloodshot and hazy, just like the rest of the morning around them.
“I appreciate your telling me about Shawna and everything. I think you’ve come a long way.”
Alissa’s protective instinct told her to thank him for his compliment and move on. Instead, she said, “I know. God’s doing something in my life. It’s cool, huh?”
Brad nodded and smiled.
Everything within Alissa told her to lean forward and tilt her chin toward his strong face. She wanted to invite him to kiss her. How long had it been since she had felt that way? Never had her motive seemed so pure and sincere. It was as if she felt full of life and wanted to give a bit—a kiss—of that rich life to Brad. Always in the past, her soul had felt parched, not full. She had turned to men with the hope that they might touch their lips to hers, and in the mingling, she might snatch a bit of life from them to fi
ll the longings inside herself.
Without a word, Alissa turned her mouth away from his. She looked down, her lips pursed together. Pushing open the front door, she said, “I’ll see you later, Brad.”
“Take care,” he said and turned to go.
Alissa closed the front door and leaned her back against it. “What was that?” she whispered to God. “Am I supposed to be feeling these things? It’s so different. What’s going on?” Her heart thumped softly. She drew in a deep breath. Then the prayer that had been on her lips daily for the past week came back to her. “Father, I surrender all this to you. Have your way.”
The words to one of her treasured hymns came to her, and as she slipped off her sandals and sauntered to the bedroom, Alissa prayed aloud, “Destroy in me the lust of sin, from all impureness make me clean. Oh, grant me power and strength, my God, to strive against my flesh and blood.”
Dropping into bed without even changing her clothes or brushing her teeth, Alissa repeated the next verse in a final petition. “Create in me a new heart, Lord, that gladly I obey Thy Word, and naught but what Thou wilt, desire; with such new life my soul inspire.”
Eyes closed, heart at rest, lips curled in a smile, Alissa whispered, “Amen,” and fell into a deep, cradled sleep. The sleep of innocence.
Chapter Eighteen
Definite had taken place in Alissa’s life. She couldn’t accurately describe them in her journal or to herself when she tried to explain why she felt different. Certainly her soul-searching day at Newport had made a difference. But so also had the daily newness of communicating with the Lord. She went to him with everything, not just when she was stuck or depressed.
If she had to define the transformation, she would have said she was in love, in love with God. He dominated her thoughts, filled her longings, and daily gave her a sense of his presence. This is how she always had wanted to live. Too many years had been lost to critical introspection. God knew her thoroughly, yet he loved her. Better still, he wanted her, and she wanted him.
The effect that had on her feelings for Brad continued to surprise her. Inside, she was a shy young heart fumbling through her first crush as if all the years of sophisticated affairs had never taken place. Those relationships had begun with her imagination ignited through steamy scenes she had read in romance novels. She had played them out with different guys, as an actress would. But her heart and soul had not participated.
That was all past and forgiven by the Father. She was, in every way, starting over.
Cheri noticed the change in her at work. Each morning Cheri would comment on Alissa’s appearance and the cheerfulness she brought with her. Alissa told her in a whisper, as if it were a great secret, “It’s God. He’s doing something in me.”
Cheri didn’t hold the same religious views as Alissa, but she did start to ask questions and even willingly accepted a Christian novel Alissa brought her one morning.
Alissa hung around her little nest on the weekends. She spent lots of time with Genevieve and even took Anna to lunch one Saturday afternoon, just the two of them.
Brad ran on his own sporadic schedule, balancing work and summer school classes, as well as his weekly involvement with the junior high guys at church. One Friday night Brad had seven of the guys over, and they slept outside under the stars. They were supposed to go to Mexico on an outreach trip, but when that didn’t work out, Brad had invited them over for a camp out instead.
Alissa had her bedroom window cracked open, and she lay in bed smiling, as Brad allowed the pubescent bunch access to his wisdom. “Take it slow when it comes to girls,” Alissa heard him say. “Don’t ever rush into anything, but get to be really good friends first. You have plenty of time. Don’t rob yourself of God’s best, which is entering into marriage pure.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?” one of the high-pitched voices asked from somewhere on the lawn.
“No.”
“Have you ever?”
“Yes.”
“Is that all you’re going to tell us?” another falsetto voice asked.
“I went out with one girl in high school,” Brad offered. “But that didn’t last long.”
“Don’t you want to get married?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Well, you’re getting kind of old,” one of the boys said. “Don’t you think you better hurry up? Nobody is going to want you if you’re bald and your teeth fall out.”
The other boys laughed, and inside her room Alissa smiled. She thought of how bald Chet was, and yet how badly Rosie had wanted him.
Young people just don’t understand. With true love it doesn’t matter. True love is blind and kind.
“I’m not in any hurry,” Brad said. “Hey, did you see that shooting star?”
The next morning after all the boys had gone, Brad went out back to clean up the residue. Alissa stepped into the sunshine and joined him. She had gone walking with Genevieve earlier that morning and then vigorously cleaned her floors. Her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail, and blotches of water were streaked down the front of her T-shirt.
“You need any help?”
“I think I’m about done,” Brad said, stuffing an empty Cheetos bag into the black trash bag in his hand. “Hope my guys didn’t keep you up last night.”
“Nope. Did you have a good time?”
“I think they did. Hey, are you doing anything over Labor Day weekend?”
“No.”
“You want to go on a road trip with Jake and me?”
Alissa was surprised at the offer. “Where you going?”
“Oregon.” Brad sat down in a lounge chair in the shade, and Alissa settled in the one next to him. “You won’t believe this, but my sister is moving to some tiny town in Oregon.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“She met a guy, and she thinks she’s in love. She’s following him there.”
“Good for her,” Alissa said. “By any chance did they meet in Fairbanks?”
Brad ran his fingers through his unkempt brown hair and said, “Actually, I introduced them.” He didn’t look too happy about the admission, which surprised Alissa. Brad seemed to enjoy taking credit for things such as Chet and Rosie’s choice of Italy for their honeymoon.
“You sound less than thrilled. Don’t you like the guy?”
“I don’t know him. See, I found him on the internet more than a year ago when I was at Wren’s place in Nashville. They started an e-mail correspondence, and then they met in Hawaii a couple of weeks ago. Now she’s rearranging her whole life to be near him.”
“Hawaii?” Alissa repeated. “Was that before or after Alaska?”
“It’s a long story. Something like this could only happen to my sister. The airline that flew her to Fairbanks gave her a free ticket. So she went to see her friends in Oregon. They invited her to go with them to Hawaii. Then it turned out Lauren’s new boyfriend was the brother of the people she stayed with in Oregon.”
Alissa smiled. “Sounds like God was involved, don’t you think?”
“I don’t know.” Brad looked tired. The cocoa stubble across his chin was approaching the beard stage. His eyelids drooped. This shady spot was the perfect place for a morning nap. “How can she know in two weeks that she wants to be with this guy? Relationships take years and years.”
“I thought you said they had been writing to each other for more than a year.”
“They have,” Brad said. “But that’s different.”
“It can be a lot more intimate,” Alissa said. “You get to know someone more deeply when you commit your thoughts to paper.”
“I don’t know,” Brad said, looking like he might doze off.
Alissa closed her eyes and listened to the gentle fht-fht-fht of the lawn sprinklers that had turned on automatically. Down the street a lawn mower whirred, lulling them both to sleep.
Alissa was the first to wake up. She looked over at Brad, who was sound asleep, his hands folded across his chest. His
mouth was open slightly, and his hair stuck up on the right side. She wondered if Adam looked that cute while he slept and God took his rib. If so, Eve would have definitely been at a disadvantage. Who could resist a man when he was sleeping?
Noiselessly rising, she tiptoed back inside where she checked the clock. She had only snoozed for twenty minutes, but she felt as refreshed as if she had slept a couple of hours. The floor had dried, and her little house looked and smelled clean and inviting. All that was missing was a table and chairs in the big open space where Shelly’s had been.
Alissa decided to shower and dress and see if Genevieve or the girls would like to go table hunting with her. She had been wanting an excuse to poke around in some of the antique stores in the funky part of downtown Pasadena. If she could actually find a table there, it would be especially memorable.
Dialing Genevieve’s number, Alissa peeked in on Sleeping Brawny on the patio. He was still in slumberland. Alissa wondered what it would be like to go antique shopping with Brad. Was he that kind of guy?
Genevieve’s voice mail answered the phone, and Alissa remembered that Genevieve had promised the girls a trek to the pool. Alissa decided she would have to go on this adventure alone. Out on the patio she heard Jake’s voice rousing Brad. “Did I get any calls while I was gone?”
Alissa went over to the back door and stepped into the brightness of the afternoon sun. “Hi, guys.”
Brad sat up, and with a big stretch he asked, “Did I fall asleep on you?”
“That’s okay,” Alissa said. “I fell asleep, too.”
“I can’t believe this!” Jake said, transforming himself into a soap opera star. “I turn my back on you two for one minute, and when I come back, you hit me with this announcement.” He took a melodramatic stance. “How could you do it? How could you two sleep together?”
Neither Brad nor Alissa showed any hint of appreciating his rank humor.
“Keep your day job,” Alissa muttered.
“Okay, that was bad. I’m sorry. I do have news for you guys. I landed another commercial. This one’s for Jeep. I get to swerve so I won’t hit a moose. You want to see the surprised look that won me the part?” Jake pretended to turn an invisible steering wheel, then a startled expression lit up his face.