~*~
nudge
I groaned and stretched as I rubbed my eyes with the backs of my hands.
"Up and at 'em, Sal gal. You need to eat some breakfast before lover-boy gets here."
I opened my eyes to see Janine standing over me, smirking as she fastened up the front of her SeeD jacket.
"Where you off to, anyway?" she asked.
"The print shop in Timber first," I told her as I sat up. "They have our invitations ready for us to pick up."
"Then?"
"The jewelers in Deling City to pick out the rings and get them engraved."
Janine chuckled. "I swear. You two have more jewelry than... than Hyne!"
I smiled. "Nuh-uh."
She smirked and turned to retrieve her assists from her desk top. "Denial is a horrible thing."
I shook my head, still smiling as the prospect of spending another day with Zell made me forget everything else. Well, almost. It definitely made me feel better, though.
Janine affixed the assists to the area behind her ears and then faced me. "Well, I hate to be a bad hostess, but I'm kicking you out. I've got a class to get to."
My smile faded as I stood. "Oh. I'm sorry."
"It's okay, kid. No harm." She nudged me toward the door, which I opened--
--to reveal Seifer holding two coffee mugs. His usual 'Death is answering 'no'', and another one that said 'I put the 'sex' in 'sexy''. I blinked, absently moving into the hall as Janine continued to nudge. She accepted the coffee from Seifer's hold.
She took a long breath of the aroma. "Hm. Thanks, Babe." Janine focused on me. "Mum's the word, Sal gal. We've reputations to keep up."
I shook my head, eyes wide as I looked from Janine to Seifer and back. "I won't tell anyone."
Janine smirked. "Good girl." Then she focused on Seifer. "See, big guy? I told you we could count on sweetness and lover-boy."
Seifer said nothing. He only drank his coffee while watching me. I swallowed hard and looked away, focusing, instead, on Janine's pretty face and freshly spiked black hair.
Her brown eyes twinkled. "I won't be able to do any coordinating of the other receptions until next week some time. But I'll send my friends emails giving them the heads up. Is that okay?"
I nodded.
"Perfect."
Then Janine took a deep swig of her coffee, turned toward Seifer to hand the mug to him, and then gave him a long and deep kiss that made me flush crimson and look away. Janine and Seifer? But the thought was actually not that bad. They were so much alike it was scary, and yet different enough that they didn't drive each other crazy. They enjoyed each other, it seemed to me. Like Rinoa and Cmdr. Squall. Like me and Zell.
Janine and Seifer. I smiled.
Then the kiss ended and Janine sounded a low growl/purr. "See you later, big guy. Oh. And thanks for the raise."
Seifer chuckled and then watched Janine walk away. I couldn't help but watch him as he did. I hadn't ever seen him smirk like that before, and it made me wonder how long they'd been together. As long as she's been here? Which meant it had to have been at least three or four months--I covered my mouth to stifle the slight gasp. That was about how long I had noticed Seifer acting. . . different. Nicer.
Seifer gave a small shake of his head and then focused on me. I couldn't help it. I stood at attention. He smirked. "At ease, Regal. You're off the clock."
"Oh. Uh." I cleared my throat and hesitantly stood at ease. "Yes, sir."
He offered me Janine's coffee mug. I blinked down at it and hesitantly accepted. What else could I do? Say 'no'? With his mug staring at me? Yeah, right.
"You sleep all right?" he asked before taking another drink.
I blinked--I think my eyelids are going to wear out--and very slowly focused on him and his serious expression as he watched me with those green eyes that scared me so much. "Sir?"
He smirked. "It's a fairly simple question, Regal."
I lowered my eyes and tried to keep from kicking myself. "Yes, sir."
"Well, at least one of us did. Damn it."
I twitched and did my best to try and not think what he meant. "I'm sorry, sir," I whispered instead.
Seifer continued to watch me as he nursed more coffee, and more than anything I would have loved to have the courage to say 'I don't think I'm the best person for the job, sir.' But I couldn't. I loved my job, and Ahndra's visit last night made me hope that I fit there. Even if I did make mistakes every once in a while. And I was extremely sorry for that mistake. After all, it had nearly gotten our Commander hurt. It had nearly got Zell hurt.
My fingers tightened on the mug. "Si--"
"It wasn't your fault, Regal."
I actually looked up and met his gaze. "But I missed them," I pressed, voice choked. "I do surveillance of radical activity and I missed them!"
"You caught what was important. That's what you do."
"But--"
"Regal," he interrupted, tone firm and face hardening in a frown as he lowered his mug. "There's not a chance in hell that you could catch every rat's ass and what they're plotting against Garden, civilians, or a resistance faction like the Timber Owls. You do the best damn job that you can. If you don't stress something as being suspicious, big friggin' deal. It's not your job to know everything. It's your job to report what you do find and hope to hell that Ahndra or I catch something when we're reviewing your reports."
I cringed and lowered my gaze, blinking back the tears as my hands fisted the coffee mug. I swallowed hard and gave a nod, not willing to trust my voice.
Seifer released a quick breath and muttered "Damn it." as he scrubbed at his scalp. "Regal, don't beat yourself up about these radical assholes. The reason they're a pain in the ass is because they are so good at staying under the radar. Just remember that you put us on to them in the first place, even doing your own investigation so that we could send someone in under cover. Ahndra and Marshal wouldn't have found shit unless they'd had your report." He rested his hand on my shoulder and gave a tight squeeze that caused a cringe--which I fought back. "You're damn good at your job, Regal, and I'll beat your ass if you try to quit."
For some reason, that actually struck me as funny. And the slight giggle that escaped surprised me so much that I looked up to meet his gaze the same time I covered my mouth.
Seifer smirked and lowered his hand. Then he continued to regard me with an intense scrutiny that had me visualizing hundreds of horrible possibilities--Then he looked down and pulled a small velveteen. . . box. . .? I stared at it with wide eyes. He opened it, one-handed, to reveal one of the most gorgeous rings I had ever seen. I swallowed hard and very timidly looked up again. Seifer stared down at the little box with a small frown.
"You think she would?" was all he asked.
The idea that SLC Seifer asked me a personal question floored me and made me pinch myself. I squeaked with pain, which made Seifer meet my astonished gaze.
"W-Why wouldn't she?" was all I could think to ask in response.
Seifer's smirk returned. "Regal, you might be one helluva hacker, but you're too damned naive. Don't you know I'm a dickhead?"
"Does that mean you shouldn't be happy?" I again covered my mouth with a hand, then I flushed and lowered my gaze. "Sir."
Seifer scoffed and closed the box with a snap to stuff it back into the pocket of his black slacks. "Happy. What the hell is that but a disaster waiting to happen?"
"Then why are you still with her?" I whispered, and I glanced toward him to find him staring down the hall. "And why do you have that ring in your pocket?" I cleared my throat and added "Sir." as I shuffled my feet. Sally Regal! What are you doing?!
Seifer focused on me, his hand still holding the ring box within his pocket. "Did you know she's from Trabia?"
I nodded.
"Did you know I ordered the missile fire on Trabia Garden?"
I nodded again, remembering the day the news had been announce
d. Remembering the attack on our own Garden and then the one after. Remembering the time in the hospital.
"Did you know those missiles killed her friend?"
I tried not to hear the carefully controlled regret in his voice. Instead, I remembered the rage in Janine's when she confronted Selphie on the train to Timber for our dresses to my birthday party. Remembered how angry Janine had been that we hadn't told her. But I also remembered what Selphie had said... "During that whole thing he was being controlled and manipulated and forced to do things that Seifer wouldn't do. That's why we don't talk about it. Because we know that he beats himself about it every day. Every time he looks in a SeeDs face he knows he might have killed them. He knows that one day he might find out that they lost a sister or a brother or a close friend to something that he ordered to happen. Do you know what that's like? To live with that every day? To remember giving the order that annihilated an entire Garden. To hear yourself giving the order to kill fellow SeeDs and not be able to do anything to stop it?"
...and I would never forget it. I released a long breath and lifted my gaze to meet his dark green ones. "Sir, if that mattered, would she be with you?" Seifer again looked away. "She cares about you, sir. A lot. That's all you need to remember."
Seifer released a long breath in a showing of surprising. . . weakness? Then he focused on me with that same guarded expression while giving me a smirk. "Go plan your wedding, Regal. Leave us dickheads to our fate."
I nearly said something more--though I don't know what it would've been--but then I just saluted and moved away, hearing his mumbled "Damn it," with an internal cringe. It seemed he and Cmdr. Squall had more in common than they wanted to admit.