Shade poured himself another whiskey, his hand shaking as he picked up his glass.
* * *
Lily was dressed and ready to leave for work when Shade entered the room. She wrinkled her nose as he crossed the bedroom floor.
“You’ve been drinking!” she said accusingly.
“Don’t worry; I’m not drunk.”
She paled at his words, flinching away as he brushed by her.
“Aren’t you going to work?”
“I’m taking the morning off. Rider is managing the factory until this afternoon.”
Shade went to the side of the bed, taking his shoes and T-shirt off. He started to take his pants off yet stopped when she didn’t leave as he had expected. He stared at her with bloodshot eyes as she stood, unmoving.
“Um … you must have started drinking after I went to sleep.”
Shade cocked an eyebrow at her question. “Yes, I went upstairs for another beer, and Cash and Rider were having a card game, so I joined in. I wasn’t ready for bed as early as you.”
If he had climbed into that bed with her, he wouldn’t have gotten out until he had fucked her. He had drunk two bottles of whiskey to keep from coming downstairs and waking her up. He told himself he wouldn’t have taken her unless she wanted him, but Shade was smart enough not to put his control to a test because he wasn’t sure he would be happy with the outcome.
Lily fiddled with the rubber band on her wrist. “I didn’t expect you to be. I guess I’ll see you this afternoon.”
She started out the doorway yet turned back when he spoke.
“It was just us; none of the women were there.” He didn’t want her spending the day flicking that fucking rubber band, wondering where his dick had been the night before.
“I didn’t ask.”
“You didn’t have to,” Shade mocked, seeing her relief.
She fled the bedroom, leaving him staring after her.
He stood up, pulling off his jeans and kicking them across the floor viciously. His spending the night drinking hadn’t touched the fire in his dick she had started.
Going into the shower, he turned on the music, letting himself picture her in his mind as his hand stroked his cock, sliding back and forth as he imagined her lying naked on his bed, begging for him. His hand was no replacement for her body, but his cock didn’t care. It had been at a fever pitch since her lips had touched his. He groaned as he climaxed.
When he finished showering, he returned to the bedroom, finding it as empty as he had left it. Somewhere in the part of him that he didn’t allow himself to acknowledge, he felt the brief hope die that Lily had come back and would be there waiting for him.
Chapter 55
“They lay down the hardwood floors today. The men want to install the cabinets tomorrow,” Rider told him.
Shade, Rider, and Bliss were standing in the basement talking as Bliss did the laundry. He and Lily had finished their workout, and she had left to take a shower.
Shade used his T-shirt to wipe the sweat from his chest.
“When are you going to tell Lily you’re building the house for her?” Bliss asked, and Shade could see the hurt in her face.
He was about to answer when Lily came back through after showering. Still not speaking to him, she went upstairs without a word. She was giving him the cold shoulder after she had come to his office earlier in the day, asking for Georgia’s brother to be given her job. He had refused, telling her they didn’t want the brother and sister working together.
She had turned the conversation into an attempt to get him to see he didn’t need her, that he only wanted her, saying she wouldn’t be able to be with him then watch him be with another woman and remain friends. She was placing herself on the same level as the women members when Shade had been trying to show her he wanted more from her than he did the other women. It was frustrating that everyone else could see what was right before her eyes.
“I’ll tell her when she’s ready to hear it.” Shade pulled a beer out of the mini-fridge and sat on the couch.
Raci and Cash came downstairs to hang out. He never went upstairs to eat, relaxing with the others. He didn’t go upstairs to check on Lily, either, sensing she needed time to herself in order to come to grips with the emotions she was battling. It couldn’t be easy having your body betray you with a sexual attraction to a person you disliked. Hated. Lily didn’t dislike him; she hated him. However, her body wanted him, and with her past, it had to be terrifying.
He had to get her to the point where her body’s demands outweighed her fears. He was going to have to use his years of experience to build her desire until she couldn’t think of anything except him. He planned to get her so needy that, when she walked and her thighs rubbed her pussy, she would think of him.
Bliss turned on the music after she had folded the last load of clothes. Then Raci and Cash slid the workout mats out of the way and began dancing.
When Lily came back downstairs, she paused, watching Raci and Cash.
Rider and Bliss were kissing on the couch after playfully tossing the clothes back and forth, and he was sitting next to them on the couch, watching Raci and Cash dance.
Raci was dancing seductively, grinding her butt back into Cash’s pelvis. His arms were on the pole, trapping her between them.
Lily tried to rush past but as she did, Shade reached out, snagging her wrist and pulling her down on the couch next to him. She started to protest, but he cut her off mercilessly.
“You can sit out here with me or you can run and hide in the bedroom, wondering what I’m doing out here with them.”
“I don’t care what you’re doing,” Lily snapped.
Shade straightened away from her. “Then run away.” He lifted his beer to his mouth, leaning back against the couch. Expecting her to run from the room, he was surprised when she didn’t.
Rider was sitting with Bliss on his lap with his hand under her T-shirt, the tanned expanse of her stomach showing. Then Rider started sucking on the flesh of Bliss’s neck while his hand slid farther up her top.
Cash’s hand went to the waistband of Raci’s short skirt, his fingers sliding underneath.
Shade watched Lily tense, her eyes going back and forth between the two couples, ready to fly off the couch.
“Look at their faces, Lily.”
Shade’s words had her eyes flying up to his.
He leaned closer to her, his chest just brushing against hers. He felt her nipples tauten against him, and she began to breathe faster. Shade dropped all pretenses with her, letting her see the desire he had kept carefully hidden. Since the first time he had seen her, he had been swimming in an ocean of longing for her. But right then, he was dragging her into the ocean with him, letting her see for herself how it felt to want someone until you felt like you were drowning.
Lily turned her head, her eyes going to Raci as Cash’s hand completely disappeared under her shirt.
“Does she look frightened?” Shade asked her.
Lily’s eyes lifted to Raci’s face. There was no way Lily could mistake fear for the excitement Raci expressed as her hips wiggled back against Cash, her head falling back against his shoulder.
Lily’s eyes moved away, going to Bliss whose breasts were uncovered with Rider twisting her nipple. Her eyes dropped to Bliss’s tattoo with four daisies and a date in the middle. Her face paled and then she turned, glaring at him.
Lily tried to get up, but Shade used his body to stop her. She sank farther back into the couch cushions, trying not to come into contact with his body. Shade allowed her to keep that space so she would still be able to see Rider and Bliss. The two were erotic as hell to watch. The only thing hotter was when Rider wanted to play Dom.
“You understand that tattoo, don’t you?” Shade asked, staring down into her eyes.
“You disgust me,” Lily spat.
“You’re not even going to ask me if one of those daisies is me?” Shade mocked.
“I don’t h
ave to.” Lily tried to turn away, but he kept her pinned in place as her hand covered the flesh over her heart. Shade saw the tell-tale sign yet didn’t back off. He had to be cruel to be kind. He wasn’t going to let her discover any secrets which would drive her away from him once he had her. And he was close to having her.
Shade moved her hand away, letting his replace it. “I was, and Winter wasn’t any happier to find out Viper was, too. Evie and Cash were the other two.” His hand rubbed against her flesh, seeing the stabbing pain of betrayal his words elicited as if it was his own. “Bliss likes to show off, so it was only a matter of time before you saw it now that you’re living here.”
“For now.”
Shade almost snapped “Forever,” but Raci’s moans drew their attention.
Cash picked the woman up, throwing her over his shoulder before carrying her up the steps.
“I’m not stopping you. You can leave anytime, Lily. I’m sure Beth won’t be heartbroken for long. On the other hand, you could start enjoying living here. Look at Bliss. I don’t think there’s any place else she wants to be.” His seductive comments had her focusing on the lone couple as they became bolder in front of her.
Rider’s hand was no longer under her shirt but beneath her skirt, which had ridden up to show Bliss was naked underneath. He was rubbing her between her splayed thighs, and her hand had gone into his jeans as she unzipped them.
Shade placed his mouth against Lily’s throat and saw her eyes begin to roll back. He wasn’t going to let her escape into her mind this time.
Using the tip of his tongue, he barely touched the flesh of her throat. Her attention was so focused on Rider and Bliss he didn’t think she even noticed as he traced a path to her ear.
“See how wet she is? She isn’t afraid to let him touch her. She’s enjoying every minute of it.” One of Rider’s fingers slipped inside of Bliss, and her moan had Lily shuddering. “She loves to fuck,” he whispered into her ear before rising up to stare down at her flushed face.
“Give her another finger, Rider,” Shade ordered, hearing Lily’s soft gasp as she watched, entranced.
Bliss moaned louder when Rider’s two fingers slid in and out of her pussy.
“See? She’s enjoying his fingers in her pussy,” he said, lowering his mouth to her ear once again before he pulled back and directed Rider once more. “Rub her clit harder, Rider. She enjoys a little pain.”
Lily’s thighs pressed together, and Shade’s cock thickened when he felt that needy movement against his hip.
“Shade…” Bliss moaned, lifting her hips and pumping them, riding Rider’s fingers, her juices easily visible to Shade and Lily.
“Let her come, Rider.”
Rider’s fingers stroked even faster, and Bliss raised her hips before plunging herself down on his hand. Her small scream had Lily jumping up from the couch, tearing her body away from his.
“Run, Lily. It’s not going to change the fact that you’re mine. And the next time a woman moans my name, it will be you,” Shade promised without sympathy.
He winced when he heard the bedroom door slamming shut.
Bliss stood up unsteadily, and Rider held her hand until she quit shaking.
“You want me to take care of that for you?” Bliss asked, nodding at the bulge in his jeans.
“No.” Shade finished his beer, throwing it across the room into the trash can. It made a loud thud when it landed inside.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out four slips of paper, handing one to Bliss and three to Rider.
“You can give Raci and Cash their IOUs for me.”
Rider looked at him curiously. “You didn’t have to give us the IOUs for something we would have done for free.”
“Would you have stopped at only finger-fucking Bliss if I hadn’t offered the IOU?”
“No,” Rider admitted. “If I didn’t know how you like holding those fucking slips over our heads, I don’t think I would have. I would have definitely fucked Bliss when I saw Lily press her legs together.” He laughed.
“You like to show off.” Shade shook his head at the brother. “One day, that’s going to get you in trouble,” he warned.
“I’m not afraid of trouble. I’m more afraid of not finding enough.” He laughed.
“I didn’t think Cash was going to stop for a minute.” Bliss giggled.
“Cash would have stopped. He knew I would rip his dick off if he pulled it out. I wanted to get Lily horny, not give her a panic attack.”
“She ever tell you why—” Rider began to ask.
“No.”
“Message received, brother.” Rider looped his arm around Bliss’s shoulder. “Want to go to my room and you can finish what Shade wouldn’t let me have down here?”
Bliss nodded, her eyes on Shade. “Unless you want us to stay? Lily left.”
“No, thanks. The only other show I plan to watch tonight is on that television on the wall.” Shade stood. Going to the cabinet over the dryer and opening it, he took out a full whiskey bottle.
* * *
“How’s Georgia doing?” Rider asked as they waited for the few remaining employees to leave.
“Better. Razer managed to scare her better than Viper and I did. After she insulted Beth at church, she’s trying to be more careful with what comes out of her mouth. Unfortunately, Lily’s right; Georgia’s not a nice person. She’s a fucking bitch,” Shade said.
“I know Lily didn’t call Georgia a fucking bitch.” They both laughed yet stopped when they saw Lily running down the path from the clubhouse.
She was barefoot, wearing sweats and a T-shirt. Shade recognized she was having a panic attack instantly. He started toward her as she ran to him. He barely had time to hold out his arms before she was throwing herself into them, clutching him tightly and shaking. She tried to burrow into him as tightly as she could, her black hair surrounding them.
“What’s wrong?” He held her to him tightly, giving her the security she needed.
“I don’t know,” Lily cried.
“Couldn’t you get hold of Beth?” he asked.
“What? I didn’t try,” she said, trembling harder.
“You didn’t try to call Beth? You came to me first?” Shade’s hand smoothed her tumbled hair away from her face.
Lily nodded against his shoulder, whimpering. “My head hurts,” she moaned.
Shade lifted her into his arms, handing Rider the clipboard he had been holding. He then carried her back to the house, closing the door she had left open in her terror. In the bedroom, he sat down with her on the bed and Lily curled into the safety of his arms, laying her head on his shoulder.
“I think I’m losing my mind,” Lily confessed.
“No, you’re not.” Shade rubbed the back of her neck, easing the tension from her shoulders. “Lily, your attacks are coming less, but they’re becoming stronger. I think your mind is trying to tell you that you’re strong enough to remember.”
Shade didn’t believe what she had seen the previous night had triggered this panic attack. Her attacks were usually immediate, not delayed, so something else had triggered it. She had proven she was getting strong, managing to keep the darkness from taking her long enough to find him. A few months before, she would have been paralyzed with fear.
Lily jerked upright, her hands going to the sides of her head.
Shade’s hands went to her wrists. “Look at me, Lily.”
Her violet eyes lifted to his.
“Look at me,” Shade repeated.
She stared at him mutely while he held her gaze with sheer will, wanting her to see he was with her. There, in the room, together. Forever.
“What’s in here can’t hurt you anymore.” Shade tapped the side of her head. “The world around you”—his hand circled the air around her body—“I’ve got that.” He brought his hands back to hers, holding them in his. “No one will ever hurt you again,” he promised in a steely voice.
It was a promise he intended
to keep for a lifetime.
Chapter 56
Lily was brushing her hair out in the bedroom when Shade walked in. She had woken up the morning after her panic attack without remembering what had triggered it, or she had deliberately forgotten. Shade didn’t know which; he doubted she did, either. The rest of the week had passed as if it had never happened.
She twirled her skirt around her legs, showing off her outfit. Her black hair was long and loose, and she had several chunky necklaces on.
“You look great. What are you supposed to be?”
“A gypsy.”
“How is it any different than what you usually wear? You should have at least been adventuresome enough to raise the hemline above your ankles,” Shade said, taking a change of clothes out of a drawer.
Shade saw Lily looked down at herself.
He walked to her, cupping her cheek. “You look gorgeous. Who got it for you?”
“Beth,” Lily said, twirling away.
Shade looked at her dress closely. “Remind me to thank her.”
He was going to have a long talk with Beth to thank her for buying Lily the gypsy costume for the Halloween party. The dress had a shimmering fabric which was practically see-through when the light hit it.
“Why?”
Shade merely shook his head, going into the bathroom. “Never mind. I won’t be long.” If he told her what he could see, she would take it off. He wasn’t about to deny himself a glimpse of that ass.
Shade took a quick shower then changed before going into the main room of the basement and taking a seat on one side of the couch.
Several club members were already there. Beth was sitting on Razer’s lap next to Evie on the couch, eating snacks. Viper and Winter were dancing among others who had toned down their usually more suggestive grinding.
“How was Georgia this week?” Beth asked Lily, putting her arm around Razer’s shoulder.
“Fine.”
“Lily, would you mind getting me a beer?” Shade requested. “The new prototype came back today with suggested changes from the manufacturer,” he told Razer.
“Figures. What do they want done now? It better not change the cost of production.”