***
After lunch, I couldn’t shake my awareness of Ethan Coffer. I tried to seek my fog, to drown out my thoughts and to forget I’d even seen him or made acceptance of him. It bothered me that I had become alert to his presence. Silent as he was, he had a strange grace that I watched on more than one occasion. I wasn’t about to become a giggling student in front of him, and I redirected my thoughts when I did notice I was paying too much attention to him.
His steady gaze remained with silence. Strange, I noticed him eyeing everyone with a two to three second length. It wasn’t a look of fear; the word hunger lingered on the edges of my mind with a small crease of his brow as he passed each one. Slowly he stopped staring at them, as if he’d put all their faces to memory, and now he’d had enough of watching them. He resembled a shadow by the end of the day, but he was star attraction to our small community. He hadn’t spoken a single word; I hadn’t heard him utter a sound.
Was he mute? Did he lose his voice too? Was that why he sat with me at lunch? To talk?
It was impossible to ask, or get an answer as uninteresting classes came and went, so did Ethan. In each class that she was no longer sitting next to me, he was. I wasn’t surprised the A-Team: Queen Valerie, Tiffany, and Amanda, frowned constantly and tried endlessly to get his attention. They used the standard pen drop or book drop when they passed him on the second day.
Ethan’s reflexes were lightening fast for Valerie who dropped her book in front of him. I’d already taken my seat and found it annoying she’d delayed him.
Stupid. I shouldn’t want him sitting next to me regardless if I’d accepted him in her seat since yesterday.
The book slid from Valerie’s table with a fair amount of effort as he passed. In that, I watched him catch the book before it made a few inches from the table.
“Oh, I’m such a klutz today,” said Valerie, flashing a flirty smile, as she ran her tongue along her starch white teeth to flutter her eyes. “Thank you new guy.”
“Anytime.” He spoke. Tilting his head, he gazed at her with a look of intrigue, perhaps it was a ruse he liked to do.
She flushed with colour, stammering for words, which didn’t come.
The B-Team boys, Brant, Carter and Flynn eyed him with warning lifts of their chins, sitting to the left of the room.
“You see something you like there Coffer,” Brant taunted.
Ethan gazed down at Valerie. The look he gave her was bland. “Not to my taste,” he said with a sly smirk sitting beside me.
Huh. Was all I could manage? That was a really stupid thing to say. I thought as I watched through my curls. Or was it brave?
“Taste!” Valerie was confused. “That’s not nice.” She huffed and turned her attention to the front of the class with hiss words of insult.
Ethan held Brant’s gaze.
“Got something to say,” said Brant.
Flynn distracted Brant, breaking the connection and Ethan turned his gaze to the window. For a second, I thought he was gazing at me, but I realised he wasn’t.
I was fixated on his eyes. Green? No. Not green at all. A silver green, or at best, a halo of silver was there. He blinked those lush lashes and it was gone. I wasn’t sure I’d seen it at all, and they were as they should be. Forest green. A look in his eyes suggested he didn’t want to be a part of anything that Kenneth High offered, or anything, anyone offered.
You’re better off not bothering with them.
The smallest twitch touched the corner of his mouth, small but fast; and if I hadn’t been sitting beside him, and staring at him so intently; I would have missed it. For what reason he did smile wasn’t for me to know. Was he about to say something to me? Don’t be silly. I told myself. He’s just, here. Again. In her seat.
Three days had passed since Ethan came to Kenneth and after that first lunch, I gave into his presence beside me. Steeling half glances at him when ever I knew he wasn’t looking. It wasn’t obvious or alarming as some of the other girls managed. I had my long brunette curls around my shoulders, keeping it across my face; a small gap was visible if I did peek. Stopping off at my locker after class on Wednesday, I hummed lazily at the idea of going home. The hall filled with students in a hurry to leave; some were dodging balls, or flying objects, pushing past others and sliding along the corridor I was able to avoid without being noticed. Fumbling with the books in one hand, and the pile that was stuffed inside, became an annoying motion of tug-a-war. It was here that Ethan walked past me, and here I did the one thing I didn’t want to do.
Drop my books.
His hands slipped out catching three books with ease.
“Here you go.” His voice was strong, gentle as he handed the books to me.
Thanks. Is what I would have said. Instead, I nodded, snatched it from him, and stuffed it into the locker.
Stupid. I hissed in my head. Now he thinks I’m doing an A-Team stunt. Worse, he’s still watching me. I didn’t mean that, it wasn’t me trying to get your attention. It was so stupid. Stupid hands, and stupid timing. I hissed in my head. The hall lights started to flicker—Great, more flickering lights. That was happening more these days. Must have something in the wiring. I grumbled, rolling my eyes at the lights and for dropping my books, which made my cheeks flush. Of all the stupid things to do, and in front of him.
Ethan grinned, the kind that held a secret and it hinged on the idea he wanted to say something. It was a smile of curiosity. Taking in his silver green eyes, a puzzled look etched his features. He was on the verge of saying something when someone spoke.
“You better watch out for Mute Kera,” taunted Brant, heading along the hall towards his locker. “She’s a real screamer if you know what I mean.”
Shut up. I hissed. You wouldn’t know. You’ve never heard it; I snapped and wished I could speak. The best my dignity did was march me from the locker hall and away from Ethan and the flickering lights. I hated when the B-Team mocked me, though they did it more frequent now, perhaps thinking it a game.
If Mel were here, she’d of hit them in the nose and taunted them with a flirty smile. I smirked at the image it created. She’d always stood up for herself and for me. She wouldn’t let anyone speak to us like that. Our friendship started in the ripe age of grade one. We were learning the colours of the rainbow and she pointed out I had green eyes. She was surprised she’d never met anyone with green eyes and curly hair before. And when one of the other students said it made my nose look big, she told them they were short sighted, or as her five year old voice said. That’s because your eyes have no magical colour and it’s your big nose that’s in the way of what is really there. It was sweet and it was why we’d stayed friends all the way through. She wouldn’t let anyone speak to us like that.
My life prier to three months was away from the spotlight and anything shameful. I was a hidden star up until three months ago. I wasn’t about to label myself in the shiny star section; if anything, I was a dull star with tragic news and a mystery illness of amnesia and voice loss. I didn’t do anything to keep the spotlight on me. I wanted to stay hidden and in some ways; I did. No one spoke to me, and no one cared if I was here or not. But these last few days with Ethan sitting next to me, I became spotlight for peering eyes and pointing fingers, not to mention the snicker of laughter that followed.
As I stepped from the school gates, I headed home, when I realised Ethan walked ahead of me. I wonder why he was walking home. Didn’t he drive a Mercedes? I didn’t see him walk home the other two days. And how did he get ahead of me when he was still at the locker hall when I left? As I crossed the street to the opposite side and wondered if I should stop. I didn’t want to think he lived near me. In class was enough, but near my house—that would be strange. As I turned right towards the brush that crossed several properties, I realised Ethan turned left, which meant he lived at the other end of Kenneth.
With Ethan out of my not normal day, it was back to the fog and the routine I had started three months a
go. I followed the same pattern of life in a daze now. Walking along the dirt path, I listened to the sounds of the bushland. Birds and wild rabbits were here, somewhere hidden. I saw them sometimes, but didn’t bother them and few bothered me. Most sprang away in fright if they did stumble onto my path.
Stepping off the main trail, I came to a hidden path leading deep into the woods. I loved this part of the woods. The trees were taller, and I wondered if this was what a forest would look like. The fresh scent of oak, pine and soil lingered in the air, along with pollinated flowers. Though, none were visible as I walked along the path, which had a slight embankment into a hidden hill side. The twitter of birds echoed above, and as I pressed my palm to the familiar tree trunk. My fingers lingered on the knot of the tree as I slipped behind its base to another secret area. The tangled leaves hid this place well as I came to a clearing of lush grass and spongy moss. The clearing was ten feet at most and it was perfect for me to sprawl on, and gaze to the clouds above. I came here every afternoon. Elizabeth was always saying I needed to get out more, and when I discovered this area by mistake; I took the opportunity to visit it as often as I could. It was peaceful, soothing, and welcoming to the constant silence that I suffered, but unlike school, I was able to relax. Gazing at the clouds as they rolled across the sky, I smiled; lay down with ease and crossing my hands behind my head. The clearing was a perfect circle. The clouds drifted along changing shape, remembering a time when Melody played the game of what it looks like. Fluffy clouds resembled cute animals, dark clouds, resembled fighters, and monsters. And swirly clouds resembled magic and powers of escaping hidden worlds. I cringed at the memory. She was gone. And I was reminded of all that we could never do. I rolled my head to the side.
Augh! I gasped.
A grey wolf stood before me. A full-size—Huge wolf!
Standing at five feet from paws to shoulder, its eyes were shadowed by the brush. I was sure they glowed amber. The head was as wide as my torso; its paws were as large as my head. This wolf had taken me by surprise and I sat up fast in fright. I’d never seen a wolf, least not in real life. The discovery channel every so often, but here. Right now…
My heart rate rose, tightness wrapped around my throat as I swallowed hard, not that I could scream if I wanted to—and my life depended on it right now. I paused in my fright, unable to stand, since my legs were shaking, and I couldn’t stop staring. A wolf. A real life wolf was four feet away. I didn’t blink—it didn’t blink.
It sniffed the air between us, its large cone shaped ears swivelled several times. I could wrap my hands around those ears. Taking in its shadowed eyes, the long snout, wet nose, and sharp teeth, I sighed, knowing I couldn’t fight this beast—even if I knew how. This was it. This was death looking at me.
If this was the way I die, then so be it.
I relaxed; ready for the death that this wolf would bring me. I allowed myself to live in the shadows for so long, I knew no one would miss me, maybe Elisabeth would.
I exhaled with the knowledge I was now facing. This was to be my last day; I was not going to stop it. I wasn’t going to fight it. It was my turn to die.
Kill me. I thought as I stared into its eyes.
The wolf bobbed its head, with a whine from its throat; it backed away and disappeared into the brush.
Stunned, startled and disappoint it didn’t attack, I blinked with the realisation I was still alive. It was several long moments before I accepted it wasn’t returning. What was wrong with it? I was a perfectly helpless victim it could gnaw on for hours. If death was coming for me, I wished it would hurry up.
I gathered my bag and headed home. I would normally spend my afternoon in the garden, but the wolf had shocked me, and since I survived the attack—or lack of attack. I chose not to encourage it; at least while I was aware and less fogged. Besides, I had a large amount of assignments to start on and dinner to prepare. Puzzling what to do about the wolf, I frowned at the thought of telling mum, or a ranger. It didn’t need to be hunted for wandering around the woods. Wolves don’t live this close to Kenneth; I wonder where it came from? I wasn’t sure if it was someone’s pet or maybe it was an escaped wolf from the city zoo. The city was hours away. But it was odd that it didn’t attack. I thought wolves attack people all the time. But it was shocked to find me here as much as I was to find it; maybe it was confused.
Once inside, I closed the door. I eased a breath of unease or was that disappointment? I’d breathe easy knowing my fog was here, and with that thought, I didn’t bother to dwell on the wolf or death. If it was going to come for me, it will be soon.