HOOTCHIE COOTCHIE
"Well, I'm off to the fair for a little while," I announced as I got up from the supper table."
"Can I go, Can I go?" asked my little brother excitedly. He slid out of his chair and started jumping up and down.
"Not tonight," I said. "I've got to meet a couple of friends. "
The inquisition began and I argued with my parents for a while before I was finally allowed to leave. I tried to ignore my little brother's sad eyes and I slipped out to the car. I had just gotten my night license and had my own car. Going to the fair alone was a new adventure. I had lied to my parents, though it was not the first time. I did not plan to meet any friends. I had my own agenda for tonight.
I paid for my ticket to the fair and spoke to Mr. Burress. Then I went to the agriculture barn and wandered around looking at the cows, pigs, chickens, and rabbits. Everywhere I went I made sure that I was seen and recognized. An alibi was important.
I wandered out to the midway and took in the sights. A big tray of greasy fries and a Pepsi Cola would hit the spot, I thought. I took the fries and drink to a picnic table and sat down to eat. Across the midway I could see the girls dancing and gyrating on stage. I watched them out of the corner of my eye, pretending not to notice. When I had finished the fries, I got up and drifted aimlessly around the midway but always working my way closer to the girlie show.
There was a big crowd around the outside stage and the barker kept working the crowd, luring more and more men, young and old, into the tent. I watched closely to see who was in the crowd. Was there anyone I knew? After a few minutes the crowd began to move toward the tent. I meandered over to the crowd and joined in at the fringes. As the crowd pushed toward the entrance, I worked my way inside. Only a few feet to go and I would be inside the tent. I was big for my age and had not shaved for a couple of days to present a more manly appearance to the barker. Finally, I was at the entrance. I handed him the two dollars without looking up. Finally a voice said, "Get a move on it son, don't just stand there." I had passed the first test.
Inside the tent was a stage with a group of men circled around it. I eased into the crowd near the stage eager for the show to begin. I didn't look around to see who was there and hoped than no one recognized me. The curtain parted and a face looked out. The curtain swished back and forth, teasing the crowd. Finally, the hiss of a record filled the air and a sultry saxophone began a slow low- down blues song. Stripping music if I ever heard it.
The curtain opened and three young girls appeared on stage with just enough clothing to whet the imagination. The gyrations began and they seductively lured the crowd to the stage. I moved with them. A platinum blonde occupied the stage just in front of me. She was hot to trot, putting it mildly. I watched as the scanty top flashed away from her large, milky breasts. The nipples were tantalizing and I could see myself caressing them. I looked down and saw the curve of her belly and the enticing thighs. The doorway to heaven was covered by a flimsy wrap around.
As she danced, she dipped down and her bottom swayed back and forth, her legs slightly parted. She worked the crowd closer to the stage. My eyes locked in on the creamy flesh. They followed every sway, every dip, every part of the thighs. She stood up and turned around, looking over her shoulder at the crowd, and me. A quick flick of the wrist and the wrap around disappeared. Only a G-string remained between my eyes and the reward I was seeking. I eased in closer to the stage. A few more sways and dips and the g-string flew through the air toward the back of the stage. There it was. I couldn't take my eyes off it. She hunkered down and eased toward the edge of the stage, her high heels clicking. I closed in. It was just the two of us then. The crowd ceased to exist. Squatting directly in front of me, she slithered forward. I nosed in a little more. Her legs were closed but parted just enough to entice me onward. From between her thighs, I could hear, "Closer, closer." I moved closer and found myself at the edge of the stage. I rested my arms on the stage and she wiggled in a little closer. Her legs parted and I was suddenly face to face with the first live cooter I had ever seen up close. My eyes bulged and I let out a gasp. With the suddenness of a bear trap, her hand reached forward and pulled my head between her legs and her thighs snapped shut locking my head between her legs.
"Lord, Jesus help me, Jesus help me, " I cried out. My legs began running in place and my long arms flapped uncontrollably like a turkey trying to take flight. I couldn't move my head, just my legs and arms. I kept running and flapping and begging for help from Jesus.
Finally her legs parted and I fell back. My face was blood red and for the first time I could hear the roar of the crowd as the men hooted and hollered, all at my expense. I turned and headed for the back flap of the tent. I had to get the hell out of there.
"Well, how was it?" a very familiar voice said. I looked over and saw my father and the mayor standing side-by-side grinning and laughing. I couldn't speak. I just got out. The laughter of the crowd followed me outside, across the midway, through the gate, and to the car.
I drove around town slowly trying to figure out what to do. I finally decided just to go on home. I knew my father would not say anything. After all, he would have to admit being there himself. I felt better.
When I walked in the front door I heard my father say, "Lois, guess where your eldest son went tonight?"
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