CHAPTER ELEVEN.
"Our boat has one sail, And the helmsman is pale; A bold pilot, I trow, Who should follow us now," Shouted he. As he spoke, bolts of death Speck'd their path o'er the sea. "And fear'st thou, and fear'st thou? And see'st thou, and hear'st thou? And drive we not free O'er the terrible sea, I and thou?" SHELLEY.
The reader may think I was over fastidious when I inform him that Icannot describe the disgust I felt at the licentious impurity of mannerswhich I found in the midshipmen's berth; for although my connection withEugenia was not sanctioned by religion or morality, it was in otherrespects pure, disinterested, and, if I may use the expression,patriarchal, since it was unsullied by inconstancy, gross language, ordrunkenness. Vicious I was, and I own it to my shame; but at least myvice was refined by Eugenia, who had no fault but one.
As soon as I had settled myself in my new abode, with all the comfortthat circumstances would permit, I wrote a long letter to Eugenia, inwhich I gave an exact account of all that had passed since ourseparation; I begged her to come down to Portsmouth and see me; told herto go to the "Star and Garter", as the house nearest the water-side, andconsequently where I should be the soonest out of sight after I hadlanded. Her answer informed me that she should be there on thefollowing day.
The only difficulty now was to get on shore. No eloquence of mine, Iwas sure, would induce the first lieutenant to relax his Cerberus-likeguard over me. I tried the experiment, however; begged very hard "to beallowed to go on shore to procure certain articles absolutely necessaryto my comfort."
"No, no," said Mr Talbot, "I am too old a hand to be caught that way.I have my orders, and I would not let my father go on shore, if thecaptain ordered me to keep him on board; and I tell you, in perfect goodhumour, that out of this ship you do not go, unless you swim on shore,and that I do not think you will attempt. Here," continued he, "toprove to you there is no ill-will on my part, here is the captain'snote."
It was short, sweet, and complimentary as related to myself, and was asfollows:--
"Keep that damned young scamp, Mildmay, on board."
"Will you allow me then," said I, folding up the note, and returning itto him without any comment, "will you allow me to go on shore under thecharge of the sergeant of marines?"
"That," said he, "would be just as much an infringement of my orders asletting you go by yourself. You cannot go on shore, sir."
These last words he uttered in a very peremptory manner, and, quittingthe deck, left me to my own reflections and my own resources.
Intercourse by letter between Eugenia and myself was perfectly easy; butthat was not all I wanted. I had promised to meet her at nine o'clockin the evening. It was now sunset; the boats were all hoisted up; noshore-boat was near, and there was no mode of conveyance but _a lanage_, which Mr Talbot himself had suggested only as proving its utterimpracticability; but he did not know me half so well at the time as hedid afterwards.
The ship lay two miles from the shore, the wind was from the south-west,and the tide moving to the eastward; so that, with wind and tide both inmy favour, I calculated on fetching South Sea Castle. After dark I tookmy station in the fore-channels. It was the 20th of March, and verycold. I undressed myself, made all my clothes up into a very tightbundle, and fastened them on my hat, which retained its proper position;then, lowering myself very gently into the water, like another Leander,I struck out to gain the arms of my Hero.
Before I had got twenty yards from the ship, I was perceived by thesentinel, who, naturally supposing I was a pressed man endeavouring toescape, hailed me to come back. Not being obeyed, the officer of thewatch ordered him to fire at me. A ball whizzed over my head, andstruck the water between my hands. A dozen more followed, all of themtolerably well directed; but I struck out, and the friendly shades ofnight, and increasing distance from the ship, soon protected me. Awaterman, seeing the flashes and hearing the reports of the muskets,concluded that he might chance to pick up a fare. He pulled towards me,I hailed him, and he took me in, before I had got half a quarter of amile from the ship.
"I doubt whether you would ever have fetched the shore on that tack, mylad," said the old man. "You left your ship two hours too soon: youwould have met the ebb-tide running strong out of the harbour; and thefirst thing you would have made, if you could have kept up your headabove water, would have been the Ower's."
While the old man was pulling and talking, I was shivering and dressing,and made no reply; but begged him to put me on shore on the first partof South Sea Beach he could land at, which he did. I gave him a guinea,and ran, without stopping, into the garrison, and down Point-Street, tothe "Star and Garter," where I was received by Eugenia, who, with greatpresence of mind, called me her "_dear, dear_ husband!" in the hearingof the people of the house. My wet clothes attracted her notice. Itold her what I had done to obtain an interview with her. She shudderedwith horror;--my teeth chattered with cold. A good fire, a hot and notvery weak glass of brandy-and-water, together with her tears, smiles,and caresses, soon restored me. The reader will, no doubt, here recallto mind the less agreeable remedy applied to me when I ducked the usher,and one recommended also by myself in similar cases, as havingexperienced its good effects: how much more I deserved it on thisoccasion than the former one, need not be mentioned.
So sweet was this stolen interview, that I vowed I was ready toencounter the same danger on the succeeding night. Our conversationturned on our future prospects; and, as our time was short, we had muchto say.
"Frank," said the poor girl, "before we meet again, I shall probably bea mother; and this hope alone alleviates the agony of separation. If Ihave not you, I shall, at least, be blest with your image. Heaven grantthat it may be a boy, to follow the steps of his father, and not a girl,to be as wretched as her mother. You, my dear Frank, are going ondistant and dangerous service--dangers increased tenfold by the naturalardour of your mind: we may never meet again, or if we do, the periodwill be far distant. I ever have been, and ever will be constant toyou, till death; but I neither expect, nor will allow of the samedeclaration on your part. Other scenes, new faces, youthful passions,will combine to drive me for a time from your thoughts, and when youshall have attained maturer years, and a rank in the navy equal to yourmerits and your connections, you will marry in your own sphere ofsociety; all these things I have made up my mind to, as events that musttake place. Your person I know I cannot have--but do not, do notdiscard me from your mind. I shall never be jealous as long as I knowyou are happy, and still love your unfortunate Eugenia. Your childshall be no burthen to you until it shall have attained an age at whichit may be put out in the world: then, I know you will not desert it, forthe sake of its mother. Dear Frank, my heart is broken; but you are notto blame; and if you were, I would die imploring blessings on yourhead." Here she wept bitterly.
I tried every means in my power to comfort and encourage thisfascinating and extraordinary girl; I forget neither vows nor promises,which, at the time, I fully intended to perform. I promised her aspeedy, and I trusted, a happy meeting.
"God's will be done," said she, "come what will. And now, my dearestFrank, farewell--never again endanger your life and character for me asyou did last night. I have been blest in your society, and even withthe prospect of misery before me, cannot regret the past."
I tenderly embraced her, jumped into a wherry, at Point, and desired thewaterman to take me on board the _I---_, at Spithead. The firstlieutenant was on deck when I came up the side.
"I presume it was you whom we fired at last night?" said he, smiling.
"It was, sir," said I; "absolute necessity compelled me to go on shore,or I should not have taken such an extraordinary mode of conveyance."
"Oh, with all my heart," said the officer; "had you told me you intendedto have swum on shore, I should not have prevented you; I took you forone of the pressed men, and directed the marines to fire at you."
"The pressed men are extremely obliged
to you," thought I.
"Did you not find it devilish cold?" continued the lieutenant, in astrain of good humour, which I encouraged by my manner of answering.
"Indeed I did, sir," said I.
"And the jollies fired tolerably well, did they?"
"They did, sir; would they had had a _better mark_."
"I understand you," said the lieutenant; "but as you have not servedyour time, the vacancy would be of no use to you. I must report theaffair to the captain, though I do not think he will take any notice ofit; he is too fond of enterprise himself to check it in others.Besides, a lady is always a justifiable object, but we hope soon to showyou some higher game."
The captain came on board shortly after, and took no notice of my havingbeen absent without leave; he made some remark as he glanced his eye atme, which I afterwards learned was in my favour. In a few days wesailed, and arrived in a few more in Basque Roads. The British fleetwas at anchor outside the French ships moored in a line off the Isled'Aix. The ship I belonged to had an active part in the work going on,and most of us saw more than we chose to speak of; but as much ill-bloodwas made on that occasion, and one or two very unpleasant courts-martialtook place, I shall endeavour to confine myself to my own personalnarrative, avoiding anything that may give offence to the partiesconcerned. Some days were passed in preparing the fire-ships; and onthe night of the 11th April, 1809, everything being prepared for theattempt to destroy the enemy's squadron, we began the attack. A moredaring one was never made; and if it partly failed of success, no faultcould be imputed to those who conducted the enterprise: they did allthat man could do.
The night was very dark, and it blew a strong breeze directly in uponthe Isle d'Aix, and the enemy's fleet. Two of our frigates had beenpreviously so placed as to serve as beacons to direct the course of thefire-ships. They each displayed a clear and brilliant light; thefire-ships were directed to pass between these; after which, theircourse up to the boom which guarded the anchorage was clear, and noteasily to be mistaken.
I solicited and obtained permission to go on board one of the explosionvessels that were to precede the fire-ships. They were filled withlayers of shells and powder, heaped one upon another: the quantity onboard of each vessel was enormous. Another officer, three seamen, andmyself, were all that were on board of her. We had a four-oared gig, asmall, narrow thing (nick-named by the sailors a "coffin"), to make ourescape in.
Being quite prepared, we started. It was a fearful moment; the windfreshened, and whistled through our rigging, and the night was so darkthat we could not see our bowsprit. We had only our foresail set; butwith a strong flood-tide and a fair wind, with plenty of it, we passedbetween the advanced frigates like an arrow. It seemed to me likeentering the gates of hell. As we flew rapidly along, and our shipsdisappeared in the intense darkness, I thought of Dante's inscriptionover the portals:--"You who enter here, leave hope behind."
Our orders were to lay the vessel on the boom which the French hadmoored to the outer anchors of their ships of the line. In a fewminutes after passing the frigates, we were close to it; our boat wastowing astern, with three men in it--one to hold the rope ready to letgo, one to steer, and one to bail the water out, which, from our rapidmotion, would otherwise have swamped her. The officer who accompaniedme steered the vessel, and I held the match in my hand. We came uponthe boom with a horrid crash; he put the helm down, and laid herbroadside to it. The force of the tide acting on the hull, and the windupon the foresail, made her heel gunwale to, and it was with difficultyI could keep my legs; at this moment the boat was very near beingswamped alongside. They had shifted her astern, and there the tide hadalmost lifted her over the boom; by great exertion they got her clear,and lay upon their oars: the tide and the wind formed a bubbling shortsea, which almost buried her. My companion then got into the boat,desiring me to light the port-fire and follow.
If ever I felt the sensation of fear, it was after I had lighted thisport-fire, which was connected with the train. Until I was fairly inthe boat, and out of the reach of the explosion--which was inevitable,and might be instantaneous--the sensation was horrid. I was standing ona mine; any fault in the port-fire, which sometimes will happen; anytrifling quantity of gunpowder lying in the interstices of the deck,would have exploded the whole in a moment: had my hand trembled, which Iam proud to say it did not, the same might have occurred. Only oneminute and a half of port-fire was allowed. I had therefore no time tolose. The moment I had lit it, I laid it down very gently, and thenjumped into the gig, with a nimbleness suitable to the occasion. Wewere off in a moment: I pulled the stroke oar, and I never plied withmore zeal in all my life: we were not two hundred yards from her whenshe exploded.
A more terrific and beautiful sight cannot be conceived; but we were notquite enough at our ease to enjoy it. The shells flew up in the air toa prodigious height, some bursting as they rose, and others as theydescended. The shower fell about us, but we escaped without injury. Wemade but little progress against the wind and tide; and we had thepleasure to run the gauntlet among all the other fire-ships, which hadbeen ignited, and bore down on us in flames fore and aft. Their riggingwas hung with Congreve rockets; and as they took fire they dartedthrough the air in every direction, with an astounding noise, lookinglike large fiery serpents.
We arrived safely on board, and reported ourselves to the captain, whowas on the hammocks, watching the progress of the fire-ships. One ofthese had been lighted too soon; her helm had not been lashed and shehad broached to, close to our frigate. I had had quite enough ofadventure for that night, but was fated to have a little more.
"Mr Mildmay," said the captain, "you seem to like the fun; jump intoyour gig again, take four fresh hands" (thinks I, a fresh midshipmanwould not be amiss), "get on board of that vessel and put her head theright way."
I did not like this job at all; the vessel appeared to be in flames fromthe jib-boom to the topsail; and I own I preferred enjoying the honoursI had already gained, to going after others so very precarious; however,I never made a difficulty, and this was no time for exceptions to myrule. I touched my hat, said, "Ay, ay, sir;" sang out for fourvolunteers, and, in an instant, I had fifty. I selected four, andshoved off on my new expedition.
As I approached the vessel, I could not at first discover any part thatwas not tenanted by the flames, the heat of which, at the distance oftwenty or thirty feet, was far from pleasant, even in that cold night.The weather quarter appeared to be clearest of flames, but they burstout with great fury from the cabin windows. I contrived, with greatdifficulty, to reach the deck, by climbing up that part which was notactually burning, and was followed by one of the sailors. The mainmastwas on fire, and the flakes of burning canvas from the boom mainsailfell on us like a snow-storm; the end of the tiller was burnt tocharcoal, but on the midship part of it I passed a rope, and assisted bythe sailor, moved the helm, and got her before the wind.
While I was thus employed, I could not help thinking of my type, DonJuan. I was nearly suffocated before I had completed my work. I shovedoff again, and away she flew before the wind. "I don't go with you thistime," said I; "_J'ai ete_," as the Frenchman said, when he was invitedto an English foxhunt.
I was as black as a negro when I returned on board, and dying withthirst. "Very well done, Mildmay," said the captain; "did you find itwarm?" I pointed to my mouth, for it was so parched that I could notspeak, and ran to the water-cask, where I drank as much as would havefloated a canoe. The first thing I said, as soon as I could speak, was"Damn that fire-ship, and the lubber that set her on fire."
The next morning the French squadron was seen in a very disastrousstate; they had cut their cables, and ran on shore in every direction,with the exception of the flag-ships of the admiral and rear-admiral,which lay at their anchors, and could not move till high-water; it wasthen first quarter flood, so that they had five good hours to remain. Irefer my readers to the court-martial for a history of these events:they have also
been commented on, with more or less severity, bycontemporary writers. I shall only observe, that had the captains ofHis Majesty's ships been left to their own judgment, much more wouldhave been attempted; but with what success I do not presume to say.
My captain, as soon as he could see his mark, weighed, ran in, andengaged the batteries, while he also directed his guns at the bottoms ofthe enemy's ships, as they lay on shore on their beam-ends. Isle d'Aixgave us a warm reception. I was on the forecastle, the captain of whichhad his head taken clean off by a cannon-ball; the captain of the shipcoming forward at the same moment, only said, "Poor fellow! throw himoverboard; there is no time for a coroner's inquest now." We were aconsiderable time engaging the batteries and the vessels near them,without receiving any assistance from our ships.
While this was going on, a very curious instance of muscular actionoccurred: a lad of eighteen years of age was on the forecastle, when ashot cut away the whole of his bowels, which were scattered over anothermidshipman and myself, and nearly blinded us. He fell--and, after lyinga few seconds, sprang suddenly on his feet, stared us horridly in theface, and fell down dead. The spine had not been divided; but with thatexception, the lower was separated from the upper part of the body.
Some of our vessels, seeing us so warmly engaged, began to move up toour assistance. One of our ships of the line came into action in suchgallant trim that it was glorious to behold. She was a beautiful ship,in what we call "high kelter;" she seemed a living body, conscious ofher own superior power over her opponents, whose shot she despised, asthey fell thick and fast about her, whilst she deliberately took up anadmirable position for battle; and having furled her sails, and squaredher yards, as if she had been at Spithead, her men came down from aloft,went to their guns, and opened such a fire on the enemy's ships andbatteries as would have delighted the great Nelson himself, could hehave been present. The results of this action are well-known, and donot need repeating here; it was one of the winding-up scenes of the war.The French, slow to believe their naval inferiority, now submitted insilence. Our navy had done its work; and from that time, the brunt ofthe war fell on the army.
The advocates of fatalism or predestination might adduce a strongillustration of their doctrine as evinced in the death of the captain ofone of the French ships destroyed. This officer had been taken out ofhis ship by one of the boats of our frigate; but, recollecting that hehad left on board nautical instruments of great value, he requested ourcaptain to go with him in the gig, and bring them away before the shipwas burned. They did go, and the boat being very small, they sat veryclose side by side, on a piece of board not much more than two feetlong, which, for want of proper seats, was laid across the stern of theboat. One of the French ships was burning at the time; her guns wentoff as fast as the fire reached them; and a chance shot took the boardfrom under the two captains: the English captain was not hurt; but thesplinters entered the body of the French captain and killed him. Latein the evening, the other French line-of-battle ships that were ashorewere set fire to, and a splendid illumination they made: we were closeto them, and the splinters and fragments of wreck fell on board of us.
Among our killed was a Dutch boatswain's mate: his wife was on board,and the stick which he was allowed to carry in virtue of his office, hevery frequently applied to the shoulders of his helpmate, in requitalfor certain instances of infidelity; nor, with all my respect for thefair sex, can I deny that the punishment was generally deserved. Whenthe cannon-ball had deprived her of her lawful protector and theguardian of her honour, she sat by the side of his mangled remains,making many unavailing efforts to weep; a tear from one eye coursed downher cheek, and was lost in her mouth; one from the other eye started atthe same time, but, for want of nourishment, halted on her cheekbone,where, collecting the smoke and gunpowder which surrounded us, it formeda little black peninsula and isthmus on her face, and gave to her heroicgrief a truly mourning tear. This proof of conjugal affection she wouldnot part with until the following day, when having seen the last sadrites paid to the body of her faithful Achilles, she washed her face,and resumed her smiles, nor was she ungrateful to the ship's company fortheir sympathy.
We were ordered up to Spithead with despatches, and long before wearrived she had made the sergeant of marines the happiest of men, undera promise of marriage at Kingston church before we sailed on our nextcruise, which promise was most honourably performed.
A midshipman's vacancy having occurred on board the frigate, the captainoffered it to me. I gladly accepted of it; and while he was in thehumour, I asked him for a week's leave of absence; this he also granted,adding, at the same time, "No more French leave, if you please." I neednot say that not an hour of this indulgence was intended either for myfather or even the dear Emily. No, Eugenia, the beloved, in herinteresting condition, claimed my undivided care. I flew to G---, foundthe troop; but she, alas! had left it a fortnight before, and had goneno one knew whither.
Distracted with this fatal news, I sank into a chair almost senseless,when one of the actresses brought me a letter: I knew the hand; it wasthat of Eugenia. Rushing into an empty parlour, I broke the seal, andread as follows:--
"Believe me, my dearest Mildmay, nothing but the most urgent necessity could induce me to cause you the affliction which I know you will feel on reading these lines. Circumstances have occurred since we parted, that not only render it necessary that I should quit you, but also that we should not meet again for some time; and that you should be kept in ignorance of my place of abode. Our separation, though long, will not, I trust, be eternal; but years may elapse before we meet again. The sacrifice is great to me; but your honour and prosperity demand it. I have the same ardent love towards you that I ever had; and for your sake will love and cherish your child. I am supported in _this_ my trial, by a hope of our being again united. God in heaven bless you, and prosper all your undertakings. Follow up your profession. I shall hear and have constant intelligence of all your motions, and I shall pray to Heaven to spare your life amidst all the dangers that your courage will urge you to encounter. Farewell! and forget not her who never has you one moment from her thoughts.
"EUGENIA.
"PS. You may at times be short of cash; I know you are very thoughtless in that respect. A letter to the subjoined address will always be attended to, and enable you to command whatever may be necessary for your comfort. Pride might induce you to reject this offer; but remember it is Eugenia that offers: and if you love her as she thinks you do, you will accept it from her."
Here was mystery and paradox in copious confusion. "Obliged bycircumstances to leave me--to conceal the place of her retirement"--yetcommanding not only pecuniary resources for herself, but offering me anysum I might require! I retired to my bed; but sleep forsook me, nor didI want it. I had too much to think of, and no clue to solve my doubts.I prayed to Heaven for her welfare, vowed eternal constancy and atlength fell asleep. The next morning I took leave of my quondamassociates, and returned to Portsmouth, neither wishing to see myfather, my family, or even the sweet Emily. It however occurred to methat the same agent who could advance money could forward a letter; anda letter I wrote, expressing all I felt. No answer was returned; but asthe letter never came back, I was convinced it was received, andoccasionally sent others, the contents of which my readers will, nodoubt, feel obliged to me for suppressing, love-letters being of allthings in the world the most stupid, except to the parties concerned.
As I was not to see my Eugenia, I was delighted to hear that we wereagain to be sent on active service. The Scheldt expedition waspreparing, and our frigate was to be in the advance; but our gallant andfavourite captain was not to go with us; an acting captain wasappointed, and every exertion was used to have the ship ready. The townin the mean time was as crowded with soldiers as Spithead and theharbour was with transports. Late in July we sailed, having twogunboats in tow, which we were ordered to man. I applied for andobtained the com
mand of one of them, quite certain that I should seemore service, and consequently have more amusement, than if I remainedon board the frigate. We convoyed forty or fifty transports, containingthe cavalry, and brought them all safe to an anchor off Cadsand.
The weather was fine, and the water smooth; not a moment was lost indisembarking the troops and horses; and I do not recollect ever havingseen, either before or since, a more pleasing sight. The men were firston shore with their saddles and bridles: the horses were then loweredinto the water in running slings, which were slipped clear off them in amoment; and as soon as they found themselves free, they swam away forthe shore, which they saluted with a loud neigh as soon as they landed.In the space of a quarter of a mile we had three or four hundred horsesin the water, all swimming for the shore at the same time; while theiranxious riders stood on the beach, waiting their arrival. I never sawso novel or picturesque a sight.
I found the gun-boat service very hard. We were stationed off Batz, andobliged to be constantly on the alert; but when Flushing surrendered wehad more leisure, and we employed it in procuring some articles for ourtable, to which we had been too long strangers. Our money had beenexpended in the purchase of champagne and claret, in which articles wewere no economists; consequently few florins could be spared for thepurchase of poultry and butcher's meat; but then these articles were tobe procured, by the same means which had given us the island ofWalcheren, namely, powder and shot. The country people were verychurlish, and not at all inclined to barter; and as we had nothing togive in exchange, we avoided useless discussion. Turkeys, by usshort-sighted mortals, were often mistaken for pheasants; cocks and hensfor partridges; tame ducks and geese for wild; in short, such was ourhurry and confusion--leaping ditches, climbing dikes, and fordingswamps--that Buffon himself would never have known the differencebetween a goose and a peacock. Our game-bags were as capacious as ourconsciences, and our aim as good as our appetites.
The peasants shut all their poultry up in their barns, and veryliberally bestowed all their curses upon us. Thus all our supplies werecut off, and foraging became at least a source of difficulty, if not ofdanger. I went on shore with our party, put a bullet into myfowling-piece, and, as I thought, shot a deer; but on more minuteinspection, it proved to be a four months' calf. This was an accidentthat might have happened to any man. The carcass was too heavy to carryhome, so we cut it in halves, not fore and aft down the backbone, asyour stupid butchers do, but made a short cut across the loins, a farmore compendious and portable method than the other. We marched offwith the hind legs, loins, and kidney, having first of all buried thehead and shoulders in the field, determined to call and take it away thefollowing night.
We were partly seen, and severely scrutinised in our action by aneighbouring gun-boat, whose crew were no doubt as hungry as ourselves;they got hold of one of our men, who, like a fool, let the cat out ofthe bag, when a pint of grog got into it. The fellow hinted where theother half lay, and these _unprincipled rascals_ went after it, fullyresolved to appropriate it to themselves; but they were outwitted, asthey deserved to be for their roguery. The farmer to whom the calfbelonged had got a hint of what was done, and finding that we had buriedone half of the calf, procured a party of soldiers ready to takepossession of us when we should come to fetch it away; accordingly, theparty who went from the other gun-boat after dark, having found out thespot, were very busy disinterring their prey, when they were surprised,taken prisoners, and marched away to the British camp, leaving the bodybehind.
We, quite unconscious of what was done, came soon after, found our veal,and marched off with it. The prisoners were in the meantime sent onboard the flag-ship, with the charge of robbery strongly preferredagainst them; indeed, _flagrante delicto_ was proved. In vain theyprotested that they were not the slayers, but only went in search ofwhat others had killed: the admiral, who was a kind-hearted man, saidthat that was a very good story, but desired them "not to tell lies toold rogues," and ordered them all under arrest, at the same time givingdirections for a most rigid scrutiny into the larder of the othergun-boat, with a view, if possible, to discover the remains of the calf.This we had foreseen would happen, so we put it into one of thesailor's bags, and sank it with a lead-line in three fathoms of water,where it lay till the inspection was over, when we dressed it, and madean excellent dinner, drinking success to His Majesty's arms by land andsea.
Whether I had been intemperate in food or libation I know not, but I wasattacked with the Walcheren fever, and was sent home in a line-of-battleship; and, perhaps, as Pangloss says, it was all for the best; for Iknew I could not have left off my inveterate habits, and it would havebeen very inconvenient to me, and distressing to my friends, to haveended my brilliant career, and stopped these memoirs, at the beginningof the second and most interesting volume, by hanging the Author up,like a scarecrow, under the superintendence of the rascallyprovost-marshal, merely for catering on the land of a Walcheren farmer.Moreover, the Dutch were unworthy of liberty, as their actions proved--to begrudge a few fowls, or a fillet of veal, to the very men who cameto rescue them from bondage;--and then their water, too, who ever dranksuch stuff? For my part, I never tasted it when I could get anythingbetter. As to their nasty swamps and fogs, quite good enough for suchcroaking fellows as they are, what could induce an Englishman to liveamong them, except the pleasure of killing Frenchmen or shooting game?Deprive us of these pursuits, which the surrender of Flushingeffectually did, and Walcheren with its ophthalmia and its agues, was nolonger a place for a gentleman. Besides, I plainly saw that if thereever had been any intention of advancing to Antwerp, the time was nowgone by; and as the French were laughing at us, and I never liked to bemade a butt of, particularly by such chaps as these, I left the scene ofour sorrows and disgraces without regret.
The farewell of Voltaire came into my mind. "_Adieu, canaux, canards,et canaille_," which might be rendered into English thus:--"Good bye,dikes, ducks, and Dutchmen." So I returned to my father's house, to benursed by my sister, and to astonish the neighbours with the history ofour wonderful achievements.