CHAPTER TWELVE.
First came great Neptune, with his three-fork mace That rules the seas, and makes them rise or fall; His dewy locks did drop with brine apace Under his diademe imperiall: And by his side his queene with coronall, Fair Amphitrite ... These marched farre afore the other crew. SPENSER.
I remained no longer at home than sufficed to restore my strength, afterthe serious attack of fever and ague which I had brought with me fromWalcheren. Although my father received me kindly, he had not forgotten(at least I thought so) my former transgressions; a mutual distrustdestroyed that intimacy which ought ever to exist between father andson. The thread was broken--it is vain to inquire how, and theconsequence was, that the day of my departure to join a frigate on theNorth American station was welcomed with joy by me, and seen unregrettedby my father.
The ship I was about to join was commanded by a young nobleman; and aspatricians were not so plentiful in the service at that time as theyhave since become, I was considered fortunate in my appointment. I wasordered, with about thirty more supernumerary midshipmen, to take mypassage in a ship of the line going to Bermuda. The gun-room was givento us as our place of residence, the midshipmen belonging to the shipoccupying the two snug berths in the cockpit.
Among so many young men of different habits and circumstances, alljoining the ship at different periods, no combination could be made forforming a mess. The ship sailed soon after I got on board, and ourparty, during the voyage, was usually supplied from the purser'ssteward-room. I have thought it very wonderful, that a mess of eight ortwelve seamen or marines will always make the allowance last from oneweek to another, and have something to spare; but with the same numberof midshipmen the case is very different, and the larger the mess themore do their difficulties increase; they are never satisfied, neverhave enough, and if the purser will allow them, are always in debt forflour, beef, pork, and spirits. This is owing to their natural habitsof carelessness; and our mess, for this reason, was particularlyuncomfortable. The government was a democracy; but the caterer had attimes been invested with dictatorial powers, which he either abused orwas thought to abuse, and he was accordingly turned out, or resigned indisgust, at the end of two or three days.
Most of my mess-mates were young men, senior to me in the service,having passed their examinations, and were going to America forpromotion: but when mustered on the quarter-deck, whether they appearedless manly, or were in fact less expert in their duty, I know not; butcertain it is, that the first lieutenant appointed me mate of a watch,and placed several of these aspirants under my orders: and so strong didwe muster, that we stood in each other's way when on deck keeping ourwatch, seldom less than seventeen or eighteen in number.
In the gun-room we agreed very ill together, and one principal cause ofthis was our short allowance of food--daily skirmishes took place, andnot unfrequently pitched battles; but I never took any other part inthem than as a spectator, and the observations I made convinced me thatI should have no great difficulty in mastering the whole of them.
The office of caterer was one of neither honour nor emolument, and itwas voluntarily taken up, and peevishly laid down on the first triflingprovocation. With the ship's allowance, no being less than an angelcould have given satisfaction. The division of beef and cork into asmany parcels as there were claimants, always produced remonstrance,reproof, and blows. I was never quarrelsome, and took the part allottedto me quietly enough, until, they finding my disposition to submit, Ifound my portion daily decrease; and on the resignation of thethirteenth caterer, I volunteered my services, which were gladlyaccepted.
Aware of the danger and difficulty of my situation, I was preparedaccordingly. On the first day that I shared the provisions, I took verygood care of number one, and, as I had foreseen, was attacked by two orthree for my lion-like division of the prey. Upon this, I made them ashort speech, observing, that if they supposed I meant to take thetrouble of catering for nothing, they were much mistaken; that the smalldifference I made between their portions and mine, if equally dividedamong them, would not fill a hollow tooth, and that, after my own share,all others should be distributed with the most rigid impartiality andscrupulous regard to justice.
This very reasonable speech did not satisfy them. I was challenged todecide the point _a la Cribb_; two candidates for the honour stepped outat once. I desired them to toss up; and having soon defeated thewinner, I recommended him to return to his seat. The next man cameforward, hoping to find an easy victory, after the fatigue of a recentbattle; but he was mistaken, and retired with severe chastisement. Thenext day I took my seat, cleared for action--coat, waistcoat, andneckcloth off. I observed that I should proceed as I had done before,and was ready to hold a court of Oyer and Terminer; but no suitorsappeared, and I held the office of caterer from that day till I quittedthe ship, by the strongest of all possible claims--first, by election;and, secondly, by right of conquest.
We had not been many days at sea before we discovered that our firstlieutenant was a most abominable tyrant, a brutal fellow, a drunkard,and a glutton, with a long red nose, and a large belly; he frequentlysent half a dozen grown-up midshipmen to the mast-head at a time. Thisman I determined to turn out of the ship, and mentioned my intention tomy mess-mates, promising them success if they would only follow myadvice. They quite laughed at the idea; but I was firm and told themthat it should come to pass if they would but behave so ill as just toincur a slight punishment or reprimand from "Nosey" every day; this theyagreed to, and not a day passed but they were either mast-headed, or putwatch and watch.
They reported all to me, and asked my advice. "Complain to thecaptain," said I. They did, and were told that the first lieutenant haddone his duty. The same causes produced the same effects on eachsucceeding day; and when the midshipmen complained, they had no redress.By my direction, they observed to the captain, "It is of no usecomplaining, sir; you always take Mr Clewline's part." The captain,indeed, from a general sense of propriety, gave his support to theward-room officers, knowing that, nine times in ten, midshipmen were inthe wrong.
Things worked as I wished; the midshipmen persisted in behaving ill--remonstrated, and declared that the first lieutenant did not tell thetruth. For a time, many of them lost the favour of the captain; but Iencouraged them to bear that, as well as the increased rancour of "OldNosey." One day, two midshipmen, by previous agreement, began to fighton the lee gangway. In those days, that was crime enough almost to havehanged them; they were sent to the mast-head for three hours, and whenthey came down applied to me for advice. "Go," said I, "and complain.If the first lieutenant says you were fighting, tell the captain youwere only showing how the first lieutenant pummelled the men last nightwhen they were hoisting the topsails, and the way he cut the marine'shead, when he knocked him down the hatchway." All this was fairlydone--the midshipmen received a reprimand, but the captain began tothink there might be some cause for these continued complaints, whichdaily increased both in weight and number.
At last we were enabled to give the _coup de grace_. A wretched boy inthe ship, whose dirty habits often brought him to the gun, was sohardened that he laughed at all the stripes of the boatswain's catinflicted on him by the first lieutenant. "I will make him feel," saidthe enraged officer; so ordering a bowl of brine to be brought to him,he sprinkled it on the lacerated flesh of the boy between every lash.This inhuman act, so unbecoming the character of an officer and agentleman, we all resented, and retiring to the gun-room in a body, gavethree deep and heavy groans in chorus. The effect was dismal; it washeard in the ward-room, and the first lieutenant sent down to desire weshould be quiet; on which we immediately gave three more, which sent himin a rage to the quarter-deck, where we were all summoned, and thereason of the noise demanded. I had, till then, kept myself in thebackground, content with being the _primum mobile_, without being seen.I was always strict to my duty, and never had been complained of; mycoming forward, therefore, on this occasion, produced
a fine stageeffect, and carried great weight.
I told the lieutenant we were groaning for the poor boy who had beenpickled. This increased his rage, and he ordered me up to themast-head. I refused to go until I had seen the captain, who at thatmoment made his appearance on deck. I immediately referred to him,related the whole story, not omitting to mention the repeated acts oftyranny which the lieutenant had perpetrated on us all. I saw in amoment that we had gained the day. The captain had given the mostpositive orders that no one should be punished without his expresspermission. This order the lieutenant had disobeyed; and that, added tohis unpopular character, decided his fate. The captain walked into hiscabin, and the next day signified to the first lieutenant that he mustquit the ship on her arrival in port, or be tried by a court-martial:this latter he knew he dared not stand.
I should have informed my reader that our orders were to see theEast-India convoy as far as the tenth degree of north latitude, and thenproceed to Bermuda. This was of itself a pleasant cruise, and gave usthe chance of falling in either with an enemy or a recapture. Ships notintending to cross the line usually grant a saturnalia to the crew whenthey come to the tropic of Capricorn; it is thought to renovate theirspirits, and to break the monotony of the cruise, or voyage, where timeflows on in such a smooth, undeviating routine, that one day is notdistinguishable from another. Our captain, a young man, and a perfectgentleman, never refused any indulgence to the men compatible withdiscipline and the safety of the ship: and as the regular trade-windblew, there was no danger of sudden squalls. The ceremony of crossingthe line, I am aware, has been often described--so has Italy and theRhine; but there are varieties of ways of doing and relating thesethings; ours had its singularity, and ended, I am sorry to say, in adeep tragedy, which I shall remember "as long as memory holds her seat."
One beautiful morning, as soon as the people had breakfasted, they beganto prepare, by stripping to their waists, and wearing nothing but a pairof duck trousers. The man at the mast-head called out that he sawsomething on the weather bow, which he thought was a boat; soon after,an unknown voice from the jib-boom hailed the ship; the officer of thewatch answered; and the voice commanded him to heave to, as Neptune wascoming on board. The ship was accordingly hove-to with every formality,though going at the rate of seven miles an hour: the main yard squared,the head and after-yards braced up.
As soon as the ship was hove-to, a young man (one of the sailors)dressed in a smart suit of black, knee-breeches, and buckles, with hishair powdered, and with all the extra finery and mincing gait of anexquisite, came aft on the quarter-deck, and, with a most polished bow,took the liberty of introducing himself as _gentleman's gentleman_ toMr Neptune, who had been desired to precede his master and acquaint thecommander of the vessel with his intended visit.
A sail had been extended across the forecastle by way of curtain, andfrom behind this Neptune and his train, in full costume, shortlyafterwards came forth.
The car of the god consisted of a gun-carriage: it was drawn by sixblack men, part of the ship's crew: they were tall muscular fellows,their heads were covered with sea-weed, and they wore a very small pairof cotton drawers: in other respects they were perfectly naked; theirskins were spotted all over with red and white paint alternately; theyhad conch shells in their hands, with which they made a most horriblenoise. Neptune was masked, as were many of his attendants, and none ofthe officers knew exactly by which of the men the god was represented;but he was a shrewd hand, and did his part very well. He wore a navalcrown, made by the ship's armourer; in his right hand he held a trident,on the prongs of which there was a dolphin, which he had, he said,struck that morning; he wore a large wig, made of oakum, and a beard ofthe same materials, which flowed down to his waist; he was fullpowdered, and his naked body was bedaubed with paint.
The god was attended by a splendid court: his secretary of state, whosehead was stuck full of the quills of the sea-bird of these latitudes;his surgeon, with his lancet, pill-box, and his smelling-bottle; hisbarber, with a razor, whose blade was two feet long, cut off an ironhoop; and the barber's mate, who carried a small tub as a shaving-box;the materials within I could not analyse, but my nose convinced me thatno part of them came from Smith's, in Bond-street.
Amphitrite followed, on a similar carriage, drawn by six white men,whose costume was like the others. This goddess was personified by anathletic, ugly man, marked with the small-pox, dressed as a female, witha woman's night-cap on his head, ornamented with sprigs of sea-weed; shehad a harpoon in her hand, on which was fixed an albicore; and in herlap lay one of the boys of the ship, dressed as a baby, with longclothes and a cap: he held in his hand a marlinspike, which wassuspended round his neck with a rope-yarn--this was to assist him incutting his teeth, as the children on shore use a coral. His nurseattended him with a bucket full of burgoo, or hasty pudding, with whichshe occasionally fed him out of the cook's iron ladle. Two or threestout men were habited as sea nymphs, to attend on the goddess: theycarried a looking-glass, some currycombs, a birch-broom, and a pot ofred paint, by way of rouge.
As soon as the procession appeared, on the forecastle, the captain,attended by his steward, bearing a tray with a bottle of wine and someglasses, came out of his cabin, and the cars of the marine deities weredrawn up on the quarter-deck. Neptune lowered his trident, andpresented the dolphin to the captain, as Amphitrite did her albicore, intoken of submission and homage to the representative of the King ofGreat Britain.
"I have come," said the god, "to welcome you into my dominions, and topresent my wife and child." The captain bowed. "Allow me to ask aftermy brother and liege sovereign, the good old King George."
"He is not so well," said the captain, "as I and all his subjects couldwish."
"More's the pity," replied Neptune; "and how is the Prince of Wales?"
"The Prince is well," said the captain, "and now governs as regent inthe name of his royal father."
"And how does he get on with his wife?" said the inquisitive god.
"Bad enough," said the captain; "they agree together like a whale and athrasher."
"Ah! I thought so," said the god of the sea. "His royal highnessshould take a leaf out of my book: never allow it to be doubtful who iscommanding officer."
"And pray what might your majesty's specific be, to cure a bad wife?"said the captain.
"Three feet of the cross-jack brace every morning before breakfast, fora quarter of an hour, and half an hour on a Sunday."
"But why more on a Sunday than any other day?" said the captain.
"Why?" said Neptune. "Why, because she'd been keeping Saturday night,to be sure; besides, she has less to do of a Sunday, and more time tothink of her sins, and do penance."
"But you would not have a prince strike a lady, surely?"
"Wouldn't I? No, to be sure, if she behave herself as _sich_, on noaccount; but if she gives tongue, and won't keep sober, I'd sarve her asI do Amphy--don't I, Amphy?" chucking the goddess under the chin. "Wehave no bad wives in the bottom of the sea: and so if you don't know howto keep 'em in order, send them to us."
"But your majesty's remedy is violent; we should have a rebellion inEngland, if the king was to beat his wife."
"Make the lords in waiting do it, then," said the surly god; "and ifthey are too lazy, which I dare say they are, send for a boatswain'smate from the Royal Billy--he'd sarve her out, I warrant you, and forhalf a gallon of rum would teach the yeomen of the guard to dance thebinnacle hornpipe into the bargain."
"His royal highness shall certainly hear your advice, Mr Neptune; butwhether he will follow it or not, is not for me to say. Would youplease to drink his royal highness's good health?"
"With all my heart, sir; I was always loyal to my king, and ready todrink his health, and to fight for him."
The captain presented the god with a bumper of Madeira, and another tothe goddess.
"Here's a good health and a long life to our gracious king and all theroyal family. The roads a
re unkimmon dusty, and we hav'n't wet our lipssince we left St. Thomas on the line, this morning. But we have no timeto lose, captain," said the sea god; "I see many new faces here, asrequires washing and shaving; and if we add bleeding and physic, theywill be all the better for it."
The captain nodded assent; and Neptune, striking the deck with the endof his trident, commanded attention, and thus addressed his court: "Harkye, my Tritons, you are called here to shave, duck, and physic all asneeds; but I command you to be gentle. I'll have no ill-usage; if wegets a bad name, we gets no more fees; and the first of you as disobeysmy orders, I'll tie him to a ten-inch mortar, and sink him ten thousandfathoms deep in the ocean, where he shall feed on salt water andsea-weed for a hundred years: begone to your work." Twelve constables,with thick sticks, immediately repaired to the hatchway, and sent downall who had not been initiated, guarding them strictly, until they werecalled up one by one.
The cow-pen had been previously prepared for the bathing; it was linedwith double canvas, and boarded, so that it held water, and containedabout four butts, which was constantly renewed by the pump. Many of theofficers purchased exemption from shaving and physic by a bottle of rum;but none could escape the sprinkling of salt water, which fell about ingreat profusion; even the captain received his share, but with greatgood-nature, and seemed to enjoy the sport. It was easy to perceive, onthis occasion, who were favourites with the ship's company, by thedegree of severity with which they were treated. The tyro was seated onthe side of the cow-pen: he was asked the place of his nativity, and themoment he opened his mouth, the shaving-brush of the barber, which was avery large paint-brush, was crammed in, with all the filthy lather, withwhich they covered his face and chin; this was roughly scraped off withthe great razor. The doctor felt his pulse, and prescribed a pill,which was forced into his cheek; and the smelling-bottle, the cork ofwhich was armed with short points of pins, was so forcibly applied tohis nose as to bring blood; after this, he was thrown backwards into thebath, and allowed to scramble out the best way he could.
The master-at-arms, and ship's corporals, and purser's steward, wereseverely treated. The midshipmen looked out for the first lieutenant;but he kept so close under the wing of the captain, that for a long timewe were unable to succeed. At length, some great uproar in the waistinduced him to run down, when we all surrounded him, and plied him soeffectually with buckets of water, that he was glad to run down theafter-hatchway, and seek shelter in the gun-room; as he ran down, wethrew the buckets after him, and he fell, like the Roman virgin, coveredwith the shields of the soldiers.
The purser had fortified himself in his cabin, and with his sword andpistols, vowed vengeance against all intruders; but the middies were notto be frightened with swords or pistols: so we had him out, and gave hima sound ducking, because he had refused to let us have more spirits thanour allowance. He was paraded to the main deck in great form, his swordheld over his head; his pistols, in a bucket of water, carried beforehim; and having been duly shaved, physicked, and soused into thecow-pen, he was allowed to return to his cabin, like a drowned rat.
The first lieutenant of marines was a great bore; he was always annoyingus with his German flute. Having no ear of his own, he had no mercy onours, so we handed him to the bath; and in addition to all the otherluxuries of the day, made him drink half a pint of salt water, which wepoured into his mouth through his own flute, as a funnel. I nowrecollect that it was the cries of the poor marine which brought downthe first lieutenant, who ordered us to desist, and we served him ashath been related.
Thus far all was hilarity and mirth; but the scene was very suddenlychanged. One of the foretopmen, drawing water in the chains, felloverboard; the alarm was instantly given, and the ship hove-to. I ranupon the poop, and, seeing that the man could not swim, jumped overboardto save him. The height from which I descended made me go very deep inthe water, and when I arose I could perceive one of the man's hands. Iswam towards him; but, O God! what was my horror, when I found myself inthe midst of his blood. I comprehended in a moment that a shark hadtaken him, and expected that every instant my own fate would be likehis. I wonder I had not sunk with fear: I was nearly paralysed. Theship, which had been going six or seven miles an hour, was at somedistance, and I gave myself up for gone. I had scarcely the power ofreflection, and was overwhelmed by the sudden, awful, and, as I thought,certain approach of death in its most horrible shape. In a moment Irecollected myself: and I believe the actions of five years crowded intomy mind in as many minutes. I prayed most fervently, and vowedamendment, if it should please God to spare me. My prayer was heard,and I believe it was a special Providence that rescued me from the jawsof the fish. I was nearly a mile from the ship before I was picked up;and when the boat came alongside with me, three large sharks were underthe stern. These had devoured the poor sailor, and, fortunately for me,had followed the ship for more prey, and thus left me to myself.
As I went up the side, I was received by the captain and officers in themost flattering manner; the captain thanked me in the presence of theship's company for my praiseworthy exertions, and I was gazed on by allas an object of interest and admiration; but if others thought so of me,I thought not so of myself. I retired below to my berth with a loathingand contempt, a self-abasement, which I cannot describe. I felt myselfunworthy of the mercy I had received. The disgraceful and viciouscourse of life I had led burst upon me with horrible conviction."_Caelo tonantem credidimus Jovem regnare_," says Horace; and it wasonly by the excitement of such peculiarly horrid situations, that thesense of a superintending power could be awakened within me, a hardenedand incorrigible sinner.
I changed my clothes, and was glad when night came, that I might be leftto myself; but oh, how infinitely more horrid did my situation appear!I shuddered when I thought of what I had gone through, and I made themost solemn promises of a new life. How transient were these feelings!How long did these good resolutions last? Just as long as no temptationcame in the way; as long as there was no incitement to sin, no means ofgratifying appetite. My good intentions were traced in the sand. I wasvery soon as thoughtless and as profane as ever, although frequentlychecked by the remembrance of my providential escape; and for yearsafterwards the thoughts of the shark taking me by the leg wasaccompanied by the acknowledgment that the devil would have me in likemanner, if I did not amend.
If after this awakening circumstance I could have had the good fortuneto have met with sober-minded and religious people, I have no doubt butI might have had at this time much less to answer for; but that notbeing the case, the force of habit and example renewed its dominion overme, and I became nearly as bad as ever.
Our amusements in the gun-room were rough. One of them was to lie onthe mess-table, under the tiller, and to hold by the tiller ropes above,while we kicked at all who attempted to dislodge us, either by force orstratagem. Whoever had possession had nine points of the law, and couldeasily oppose the whole. I one day held this envied position, and keptall at bay, when, unluckily, one of the passed midshipmen, who had gotvery drunk with the gunner, came in and made a furious attack on me. Igave him a kick on the face that sent him with great violence on hisback, among the plates and dishes, which had been removed from thedinner-table and placed between the guns. Enraged, as much at thelaughter against him as at the blow he had received, he snatched up acarving-fork, and, before any one was aware of his intention, stabbed mewith it four times. I jumped up to punish him, but the moment I got onmy legs, was so stiff, that I fell back into the arms of my mess-mates.
The surgeon examined the wounds, which were serious; two of them nearlytouched an artery. I was put to bed sick, and was three weeks confinedto my berth. The midshipman who had committed this outrage, was verypenitent when sober, and implored my pardon and forgiveness. Naturallygood-natured, I freely forgave, because I was disarmed by submission. Inever trampled on a prostrate foe. The surgeon reported me ill of afever, which was true; for had the captain known the rea
l fact, themidshipman, whose commission was signed, and in the ship, ready to bedelivered to him on his arrival at Bermuda, would certainly have losthis promotion. My kindness to him, I believe, wounded him more than myresentment; he became exceedingly melancholy and thoughtful, gave updrinking, and was ever after greatly attached to me. I reckon thisamong the few good actions of my life, and own I have great pleasure inreflecting upon it.
We arrived at Bermuda soon after, having left the convoy in the latitudeof ten degrees north. The supernumeraries were all discharged intotheir respective ships; and before we separated, we had the pleasure tosee the first lieutenant take his passage in a ship bound to England.Most sincerely did we congratulate ourselves on the success of ourintrigue.