CHAPTER THREE.

  The might of England flush'd To anticipate the scene; And her van the fleeter rush'd O'er the deadly space between. "Hearts of oak!" our captains cried; when each gun From its adamantine lips Spread a death-shade round the ships, Like the hurricane eclipse Of the sun. CAMPBELL.

  Considering my youth and inexperience, and the trifling neglect of whichI was accused, there are few, even of the most rigid disciplinarians,who will not admit that I was both unjustly and unkindly treated by thefirst lieutenant, who certainly, with all my respect for him, had lenthimself to my enemies. The second lieutenant and Mr Murphy did noteven conceal their feelings on the occasion, but exulted over mydisgrace.

  The ship was suddenly ordered to Portsmouth, where the captain, who hadbeen on leave, was expected to join us, which he did soon after ourarrival, when the first lieutenant made his reports of good and badconduct during his absence. I had been about ten days doing duty in thefore-top, and it was the intention of Mr Handstone, to which thecaptain seemed not disinclined, to have given me a flogging at the gun,as a gratuity for losing the men. This part of the sentence, however,was not executed. I continued a member of the midshipmen's mess, butwas not allowed to enter the berth: my meals were sent to me, and I tookthem _solus_ on my chest. The youngsters spoke to me, but only bystealth, being afraid of the oldsters, who had sent me to the most rigidCoventry.

  My situation in the fore-top was nearly nominal. I went aloft when thehands were called, or in my watch, and amused myself with a book untilwe went below, unless there was any little duty for me to do which didnot appear above my strength. The men doated on me as a martyr in theircause, and delighted in giving me every instruction in the art ofknotting and splicing, rigging, reefing, furling, etcetera, etcetera;and I honestly own that the happiest hours I had passed in that shipwere during my seclusion among these honest tars.

  Whether my enemies discovered this or not, I cannot say; but shortlyafter our arrival I was sent for by the captain into his own cabin,where I received a lecture on my misconduct, both as to my supposedirritable and quarrelsome disposition, and also for losing the men outof the boat. "In other respects," he added, "your punishment would havebeen much more severe but for your general good conduct; and I have nodoubt, from this little well-timed severity, that you will in futureconduct yourself with more propriety. I therefore release you from thedisgraceful situation in which you are placed, and allow you to returnto your duty on the quarter-deck."

  The tears which no brutality or ill-treatment could wring from me, nowflowed in abundance, and it was some minutes before I could recovermyself sufficiently to thank him for his kindness, and to explain thecause of my disgrace. I told him, that since I had joined the ship Ihad been treated like a dog; that he alone had been ignorant of it, andthat he alone had behaved to me with humanity. I then related all mysufferings, from the moment of that fatal glass of wine up to the time Iwas speaking. I did not conceal the act of cutting down Murphy'shammock, nor of throwing the candlestick at his head. I assured him Inever gave any provocation; that I never struck without being firststricken. I said, moreover, that I would never receive a blow or becalled an improper name without resenting it, as far as I was able. Itwas my nature, and if killed, I could not help it. "Several men haverun away," said I, "since I came into the ship, and before, and theofficers under whose charge they were, only received a reprimand, whileI, who have just come to sea, have been treated with the greatest andmost degrading severity."

  The captain listened to my defence with attention, and I thought seemedmuch struck with it. I afterwards learnt that Mr Handstone hadreceived a reprimand for his harsh treatment of me; he observed, that Ishould one day turn out a shining character, or go to the devil. Itappeared pretty evident to me, that however I might have roused thepride and resentment of the senior members of the mess by my resistanceto arbitrary power, that I had gained some powerful friends, among whomwas the captain. Many of the officers admired that dogged, "don't care"spirit of resistance which I so perseveringly displayed, and were forcedto admit that I had right on my side. I soon perceived the change ofmind by the frequency of invitations to the cabin and gun-room tables.The youngsters were proud to receive me again openly as their associate;but the oldsters regarded me with a jealousy and suspicion like that ofan unpopular government to a favourite radical leader.

  I soon arranged with the boys of my own age a plan of resistance, orrather of self-defence, which proved of great importance in our futurewarfare. One or two of them had nerve enough to follow it up: theothers made fair promises, but fell off in the hour of trial. My codeconsisted of only two maxims: the first was always to throw a bottle,decanter, candlestick, knife, or fork at the head of any person whoshould strike one of us, if the assailant should appear too strong toencounter in fair fight. The second was, never to allow ourselves to beunjustly defrauded of our rights; to have an equal share of what we paidequally for; and to gain by artifice that which was withheld by force.

  I explained to them that by the first plan we should ensure civility atleast; for as tyrants are generally cowards, they would be afraid toprovoke that anger which in some unlucky moment might be fatal to them,or maim them for life. By the second, I promised to procure them anequal share in the good things of this life, the greater part of whichthe oldsters engrossed to themselves: in this latter we were much moreunanimous than the former, as it incurred less personal risk. I was theprojector of all the schemes for forage, and was generally successful.

  At length we sailed to join the fleet off Cadiz, under the command ofLord Nelson. I shall not pretend to describe the passage down Channeland across the Bay of Biscay. I was sea-sick as a lady in a Doverpacket, until inured to the motion of the ship by the merciless calls tomy duties aloft, or to relieve the deck in my watch. We reached ourstation, and joined the immortal Nelson but a few hours before thatbattle in which he lost his life and saved his country. The history ofthat important day has been so often and so circumstantially related,that I cannot add much more to the stock on hand. I am only astonished,seeing the confusion and _invariable variableness_ of a sea-fight, howso much could be known. One observation occurred to me then, and I havethought of it ever since with redoubled conviction; this was, that theadmiral, after the battle began, was no admiral at all: he could neithersee nor be seen; he could take no advantage of the enemy's weak pointsor defend his own; his ship, the _Victory_, one of our finestthree-deckers, was, in a manner, tied up alongside a French eighty-gunship.

  These observations I have read in some naval work, and in my mind theyreceive ample confirmation. I could not help feeling an agony ofanxiety (young as I was) for my country's glory, when I saw the nobleleaders of our two lines exposed to the united fire of so many ships. Ithought Nelson was too much exposed, and think so now. Experience hasconfirmed what youthful fancy suggested; the enemy's centre should havebeen _macadamised_ by our seven three-deckers, some of which, by beingplaced in the rear, had little share in the action; and but for theintimidation which their presence afforded, might as well have been atSpithead. I mean no reflection on the officers who had charge of them:accidental concurrence of light wind and station in the line, threw themat such a distance from the enemy as kept them in the back ground thegreater part of the day. Others, again, were in enviable situations,but did not, as far as I could learn from the officers, do quite so muchas they might have done. This defect on our part being met by equaldisadvantages, arising from nearly similar causes, on that of the enemy,a clear victory remained to us. The aggregate of the British navy isbrave and good; and we must admit that in this day "when Englandexpected every man to do his duty," there were but few who disappointedtheir country's hope.

  When the immortal signal was communicated, I shall never, no never,forget the electric effect it produced through the fleet. I can compareit to nothing so justly as to a match laid to a long train of gunpowder;and, as Englishmen are the same, the same f
eeling, the same enthusiasm,was displayed in every ship; tears ran down the cheeks of many a noblefellow when the affecting sentence was made known. It recalled everypast enjoyment, and filled the mind with fond anticipations which, withmany, were never, alas! to be realised. They went down to their gunswithout confusion; and a cool, deliberate courage from that momentseemed to rest on the countenance of every man I saw.

  My captain, though not in the line, was no niggard in the matter ofshot, and though he had no real business to come within range untilcalled by signal, still he thought it his duty to be as near to ourships engaged as possible, in order to afford them assistance whenrequired. I was stationed at the foremost guns on the main deck, andthe ship cleared for action; and though on a comparatively small scale,I cannot imagine a more solemn, grand, or impressive sight, than a shipprepared as ours was on that occasion. Her noble tier of guns, in aline gently curving out towards the centre; the tackle laid across thedeck; the shot and wads prepared in ample store (round, grape, andcanister); the powder-boys, each with his box full, seated on it withperfect apparent indifference as to the approaching conflict. Thecaptains of guns, with their priming boxes buckled round their waists;the locks fixed upon the guns; the lanyards laid around them; theofficers, with their swords drawn, standing by their respectivedivisions.

  The quarter-deck was commanded by the captain in person, assisted by thefirst lieutenant, the lieutenant of marines, a party of small-arm men,with the mate and midshipmen, and a portion of seamen to attend thebraces and fight the quarter-deck guns. The boatswain was on theforecastle; the gunner in the magazine, to send up a supply of powder tothe guns; the carpenter watched and reported, from time to time, thedepth of water in the well; he also walked round the wings or vacantspaces between the ship's side and the cables, and other stores. He wasattended by his mates, who were provided with shot-plugs, oakum, andtallow, to stop any shot-holes which might be made. The surgeon was inthe cockpit with his assistants. The knives, saws, tourniquets,sponges, basins, wine and water, were all displayed and ready for thefirst unlucky patient that might be presented. This was more awful tome than anything I had seen. "How soon," thought I, "may I bestretched, mangled and bleeding, on this table, and have occasion forall the skill and all the instruments I now see before me!" I turnedaway, and endeavoured to forget it all.

  As soon as the fleet bore up to engage the enemy, we did the same,keeping as near as we could to the admiral, whose signals we wereordered to repeat. I was particularly astonished with the skilfulmanner in which this was done. It was wonderful to see howinstantaneously the same flags were displayed at our mast-heads as hadbeen hoisted by the admiral; and the more wonderful this appeared to me,since his flags were rolled up in round balls, which were not brokenloose until they had reached the mast-head, so that the signal officersof a repeater had to make out the number of the flag during its passagealoft in disguise. This was done by the power of good telescopes, andfrom habit, and sometimes by anticipation of the signal that would benext made.

  The reader may, perhaps, not be aware that among civilised nations, innaval warfare, ships of the line never fire at frigates, unless theyprovoke hostility by interposing between belligerent ships, or firinginto them, as was the case in the Nile, when Sir James Saumarez, in the_Orion_, was under the necessity of sinking the _Artemise_, which he didwith one broadside, as a reward for her temerity. Under this _pax inbellum_ sort of compact we might have come off scot-free, had we notpartaken very liberally of the shot intended for large ships, which didserious damage among our people.

  The two British lines running down parallel to each other, and nearlyperpendicular to the crescent line of the combined fleets, was thegrandest sight that was ever witnessed. As soon as our van was withingun-shot of the enemy, they opened their fire on the _Royal Sovereign_and the _Victory_; but when the first-named of these noble ships roundedto, under the stern of the Santa Anna, and the Victory had very soonafter laid herself on board the Redoubtable, the clouds of smokeenveloped both fleets, and little was to be seen except the falling ofmasts, and here and there, as the smoke blew away, a ship totallydismasted.

  One of these proved to be English, and our captain, seeing her betweentwo of the enemy, bore up to take her in tow: at the same time, one ofour ships of the line opened a heavy fire on one of the Frenchline-of-battle ships, unluckily situated in a right line between us, sothat the shot which missed the enemy sometimes came, on board of us. Iwas looking out of the bow port at the moment that a shot struck ourship on the stern between wind and water. It was the first time I hadever seen the effect of a heavy shot; it made a great splash, and, tome, as I then thought, a very unusual noise, throwing a great deal ofwater in my face. I very naturally started back, as I believe many abrave fellow has done. Two of the seamen quartered at my guns laughedat me. I felt ashamed, and resolved to show no more such weakness.

  This shot was very soon succeeded by some others not quite so harmless:one came into the bow port, and killed the two men who had witnessed mytrepidation. My pride having been hurt that these men should have seenme flinch, I will own that I was secretly pleased when I saw themremoved beyond the reach of human interrogation. It would be difficultto describe my feelings on this occasion. Not six weeks before, I wasthe robber of hen-roosts and gardens--the hero of a horse-pond, duckingan usher--now suddenly, and almost without any previous warning orreflection, placed in the midst of carnage, and an actor of one of thosegrand events by which the fate of the civilised world was to be decided.

  A quicker circulation of blood, a fear of immediate death, and a stillgreater fear of shame, forced me to an involuntary and frequent changeof position; and it required some time, and the best powers ofintellect, to reason myself into that frame of mind in which I couldfeel as safe and as much unconcerned as if we had been in harbour. Tothis state I at last did attain, and soon felt ashamed of theperturbation under which I had laboured before the firing began. Iprayed, it is true: but my prayer was not that of faith, of trust, or ofhope--I prayed only for safety from imminent personal danger; and myorisons consisted of one or two short, pious ejaculations, without athought of repentance for the past or amendment for the future.

  But when we had once got fairly into action, I felt no more of this, andbeheld a poor creature cut in two by a shot with the same indifferencethat at any other time I should have seen a butcher kill an ox. Whethermy heart was bad or not, I cannot say; but I certainly felt my curiositywas gratified more than my feelings were shocked, when a raking shotkilled seven and wounded three more. I was sorry for the men, and, forthe world, would not have injured them; but I had a philosophic turn ofmind; I liked to judge of causes and effects; and I was secretly pleasedat seeing the effect of a raking shot.

  Towards four p.m. the firing began to abate, the smoke cleared away, andthe calm sea became ruffled with an increasing breeze. The two hostilefleets were quiet spectators of each other's disasters. We retainedpossession of nineteen or twenty sail of the line. Some of the enemy'sships were seen running away into Cadiz; while four others passed towindward of our fleet, and made their escape. A boat going from ourship to one near us, I jumped into her, and learned the death of LordNelson, which I had communicated to the captain, who, after paying atribute to the memory of that great man, looked at me with muchcomplacency. I was the only youngster that had been particularlyactive, and he immediately despatched me with a message to a ship at ashort distance. The first lieutenant asked if he should not send anofficer of more importance. "No," said the captain, "he shall go; theboy knows very well what he is about!" and away I went, not a littleproud of the confidence placed in me.

  Further details of this eventful day are to be found recorded in ournational histories; it will, therefore, be needless to repeat them here.When I met my mess-mates at supper in the berth, I was sorry to seeMurphy among them. I had flattered myself that some fortunate shotwould have for ever divested me of any further care on his account; buthis time wa
s not come.

  "The devil has had a fine haul to-day!" said an old master's mate, as hetook up his glass of grog.

  "Pity you, and some others I could name, had not been in the net!"thinks I to myself.

  "I hope plenty of the lieutenants are bowled out!" said another; "weshall stand some chance then of a little promotion!"

  When the hands were turned up to muster, the number of killed amountedto nine, and wounded to thirteen. When this was made known, thereseemed to be a general smile of congratulation at the number fallen,rather than of their regret for their loss. The vanity of the officersseemed tickled at the disproportionate slaughter in a frigate of oursize, as compared to what they had heard the ships of the line hadsuffered.

  I attended the surgeon in the steerage, to which place the wounded wereremoved, and saw all the amputations performed, without flinching; whenmen who had behaved well in the action fainted at the sight. I amafraid I almost took a pleasure in observing the operations of thesurgeon, without once reflecting on the pain suffered by the patient.Habit had now begun to corrupt my mind. I was not cruel by nature; Iloved the deep investigation of hidden things; and this day's actiongave me a very clear insight into the anatomy of the human frame, whichI had seen cut in two by shot, lacerated by splinters, carved out withknives, and separated with saws!

  Soon after the action, we were ordered to Spithead, with duplicatedespatches. One morning I heard a midshipman say, "he would do his oldfather out of a new kit." I inquired what he meant, was first called agreenhorn for not knowing, and then had it explained to me. "Don't youknow," said my instructor, "that after every action there is morecanvas, rope, and paint expended in the warrant-officer's accounts thanwere destroyed by the enemy?"

  I assented to this on the credit of the informer, without knowingwhether it was true or false, and he proceeded. "How are we to havewhite hammock-clothes, skysail masts, and all other finery, besides acoat of paint for the ship's sides every six weeks, if we don't expendall these things in action, and pretend they were lost overboard, ordestroyed? The list of defects are given in to the admiral, he signsthe demand, and the old commissioner must come down with the stores,whether he will or not. I was once in a sloop of war, when a largeforty-four-gun frigate ran on board of us, carried away her jib-boom,and left her large fine-weather jib hanging on our foreyard. It wasmade of beautiful Russia duck, and, to be sure, didn't we make a gang ofwhite hammock-cloths fore and aft, besides white trousers for the men?Well now, you must know, that we make _Uncle George_ suffer for thestores, so I mean to make dad suffer for my traps. I mean to lose mychest overboard, with all my `kit,' and return home to him and the oldwoman just fit for the fashion."

  "And do you really mean to deceive your father and mother in that way?"replied I, with much apparent innocence.

  "Do I? to be sure I do, you flat. How am I to keep up my stock, if Idon't make the proper use of an action like this that we have been in?"

  I took the hint: it never once occurred to me, that if I had fairly andcandidly stated to my parents that my stock of clothes were insufficientfor my appearance as a gentleman on the quarter-deck, that they wouldcheerfully have increased it to any reasonable extent. But I had beentaught artifice and cunning; I could tell the truth where I thought itserved my purpose, as well as a lie; but here I thought deception was aproof at once of spirit and of merit; and I resolved to practise it, ifonly to raise myself a trifling degree in the estimation of my unworthyassociates. I had become partial to deception from habit, and preferredexercising my own ingenuity in outwitting my father, to obtain what Ineeded by more straightforward and honourable measures.

  The ship needed some repairs, and by the indulgence of the captain, whowas pleased with my conduct, I, who required so much instruction in thenature and cause of her defects, was allowed to be absent while theywere made good. By this oversight, I lost all that improvement which Ishould have gained by close attention to the unrigging or shipping ofthe ship; the manner of returning her stores; taking out her masts andballast, and seeing her taken into dock; the shape of her bottom, andthe good or bad qualities which might be supposed to accelerate orretard her movements. All this was sacrificed to the impatience ofseeing my parents; to the vain glory of boasting of the action in whichI had been present; and, perhaps, of being encouraged to tell lies ofthings which I never saw, and to talk of feats which I never performed.I loved effect; and I timed the moment of my return to my father's house(through a correspondence with my sister) to be just as a large partyhad sat down to a sumptuous dinner. I had only been absent threemonths, it is true; but it was my first cruise, and then "I had seen somuch, and been in such very interesting situations."