Everyone but Randall turned slowly to look at me.
I really fucking hated Moishe.
“I’m not going to go Dark,” I said, trying to smile as reassuringly as I could. “For one, to become a villain, you have to monologue. And we all know how I feel about that. I think I got that from my father—”
Gary gasped. “It’s already started! He’s monologuing. Sam! Sam. Can you hear me? You can’t turn evil yet. I’ve only just gotten back my horn and need to use it for the forces of good!”
Tiggy squinted at me. “Sam a bad guy?”
“Yes!” Gary wailed. “He’s going to become a villain, and then I shall have to become the hero of the story like I was meant to be, and there will be a final climactic showdown atop a mountain, and I will rend Sam in two and he will turn good again right before he dies—”
“Gary monologuing now!”
“You shut your mouth,” Gary snarled at Tiggy. “I can’t be a villain. I am a unicorn. It’s impossible for me to be evil.” He frowned. “Wait. Right? Is that right? I can’t be evil because I’m a unicorn? Honestly, I have no idea. I mean, I don’t know that I’ve ever met an evil unicorn before. Except for Terry, but he’s an accountant, so that’s to be expected.”
“Is that true?” Ryan asked me.
“About accountants? I don’t know. I mean, it sounds right—”
“Sam. What Moishe said.”
“No,” I said, glaring at Moishe. “It’s not.”
“Sort of,” Randall said.
“Traitor!”
“But I don’t think it’s as dire as Moishe is making it out to be,” Randall said. “Sam has always defied expectations. I’m watching him closely, but I do believe with Ryan as his cornerstone, we have little to worry about. At least for now.”
“Tiggy smash if Sam be evil,” Tiggy announced.
“You better not smash me.”
“Tiggy smash,” he insisted.
“Ugh. Fine.”
Tiggy looked pleased.
“Stop looking at me like I’m going to go Dark right this second,” I snapped at Ryan.
He crossed his arms over his chest, looking put out. “How am I supposed to know what’s going to happen? I don’t even know where you were for the last year.”
“He’s mad at me,” I told Mama. “For the whole leaving thing.”
“I don’t blame him in the slightest,” Mama said. “I’m pretty pissed off at you, precious, though Randall did explain your quest. I have half a mind to kick your ass myself. I’m not surprised that your hunk of meat wants to murder you.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” Ryan said, blushing slightly.
She smiled at him. “Remember when you used to call me Queen of the Fuck Palace? Those were the good old days.”
Ryan looked down at the ground as he scuffed a foot against the dirt. I was going to fucking ruin his butt later, he was so adorable.
“Great,” I muttered. “This is just swell. Thanks, Moishe. You bitch.”
Moishe continued to stare at me.
“Where’s Kevin?” Gary asked Randall. “I need him here to tell me how not-evil I am and how beautiful I look since no one else is telling me.”
“You look beautiful,” Randall said. “And Kevin has left us for the moment on an errand. He’ll return shortly. We have other matters to attend to.”
“Matters other than me? What could possibly—oh. Right. Saving the world. I guess I’ll allow it.”
“Mama,” Justin said, “what happened? Why are you here?”
“Letnia,” Mama said. “I do believe I’m overcome with emotion. If you please.”
Letnia blew out thick blue smoke, her cigar smoldering between her fingers. Her single eye darted unerringly around the room, taking each of us in one by one. She reached up and adjusted her eye patch before she pushed herself off the wall. “We were betrayed.”
The King sighed.
“One of the whores,” Letnia spat, “hedged his bets and decided to throw in with the Darks. Gave away plans. Told them where we were weakest. Old Clearing fell. I got Mama out, though she fought me on it.”
“I don’t run,” Mama said, tapping her foot dangerously. “My high heels don’t allow for it.”
Letnia snorted. “Actually, you do. Because we did. We had no other choice. Either we ran, or we got captured just like your courtesans.”
“Yes,” Mama said, lip curling. “That. They have taken from me. They took Meridian City. They took the Tilted Cross. But now they have taken my children, and I want revenge.” She glanced at the King before looking back to Justin. “You have rescued your father. Your kin. I am here to ask for your help to rescue mine.”
Justin hesitated. “We don’t have the resources to take back Meridian City. Not when the City of Lockes is so close.”
Mama wasn’t pleased with that answer. “So the people of the City of Lockes matter more than those in Meridian City?”
Oh boy. Justin should probably just stop now before he made it worse.
“Of course not! We have other priorities at the moment.”
And he made it worse.
“Other priorities,” Mama repeated, and I immediately started making plans for finding another heir to the throne, seeing as how this one was so dead. “Other priorities. I see. So what you’re saying is that we’re not royalty. We’re not in the King’s Court. We’re here for your army and your knights to spend their leave fucking and drinking and snorting up their noses whatever they can afford. Therefore, our plight doesn’t matter as much as yours. We’re the excess of Verania. We don’t matter.”
“Mama,” the King said, stepping in before his son could make things even worse, “of course you matter. As do the lives of your children. Justin has filled me in as much as time has allowed on the status of the Resistance. Much of our army has been defeated and enslaved. The Knights of Castle Lockes have mobilized here in Camp HaveHeart, but they too are few in number.”
She stared at him, not backing down. “How could you not have known this was coming? How could you not have known how large of a group they had amassed?”
“I’ve learned that the forces of evil often move in a silent majority,” the King admitted. “They are disillusioned and disenfranchised. They gather behind one who speaks to them, who promises them things that are absolutely unethical and illegal, not to mention impossible. And they listen, because they don’t know any better. These Darks, they’ve… lost their way. And not just because of the paths they took in magic. But because they spread. Like a disease, spreading false news about the Crown or its wizards.”
“So what do you expect to accomplish here?” Mama asked. “You have your knights. You have this camp. You are the Resistance.” She glanced at me before looking back at the King. “You have Sam. And if what I was told about the prophecy is true, that means he has the dragons.”
“We’re working on it,” Justin said. “Before we even knew Sam was coming back, we’d made plans to get my father out and to find Gary’s horn. We have two unicorns now, and Gary has his horn. Randall has returned and Sam is back. We’re better off than we were.”
“That doesn’t answer my question,” Mama said mildly, but no one seemed to be fooled by her tone. “You have all of these things. Now what?”
Justin looked at me beseechingly. And since he was my best friend 5eva, I knew that it was probably time to step in and help him.
“We have no idea,” I said.
Well, shit.
“Come again?” Mama asked, voice low.
Justin’s face was in his hands.
“Um,” I said. “Yes. I’m gonna need a do-over. Okay. So, you were being all intimidating and awesome and beautiful and saying things like ‘That shan’t be what’s happening, and you are welcome for being in my presence, now what are you going to do?’ And to that I say, we’re still working on it.” I frowned. “Dammit. Why do I always have to tell the truth when I’m trying to lie with reassuring platitudes?”
Gary snorted. It came out the brightest pink I’d ever seen. It was pretty.
“Sam so special,” Tiggy said.
Mama stared at me. “If what Moishe has said about you is true and if you truly do have as much magic as he seems to think, what’s stopping you from marching into the City of Lockes and taking it back yourself? Surely if you’re the one the gods have chosen, then now would be the time to actually do what you were chosen for. Hell, if you’re so godsdamn powerful, why can’t you just wish him away. Or dead. Preferably dead.”
I winced. “It doesn’t quite… work. Like that?”
“Precious, I am growing tired of your vagaries. I suggest you speak in specifics before I lose my temper. We both know what happens when I lose my temper.”
“Mama smash?” Tiggy asked.
“Yes, lovely,” she said. “Mama smash.”
I sighed. “I’m… volatile.”
She blinked. “So there was truth to what Moishe said.”
“No. I’m absolutely not going to turn Dark. Have you seen me? I’d be the worst villain. Like, ever.”
“But….”
I glanced at Ryan, who was staring at me with eyes narrowed. “Buuuut. There… might? Have been some truth. To the whole. Um. Magic thing. It’s… a lot. In me. Right now. In a short amount of time.”
“What Sam is trying and failing miserably to say,” Randall interjected, “is that a wizard takes decades to construct his magic. To build it up, to familiarize himself with it, to trust it and himself. Then, and only then, does he take the Trials. And even then, sometimes a wizard will fail and must go back to figure out where he went wrong so that he may try again.”
“But not Sam,” Mama said.
“Not Sam,” Randall agreed. “Sam is different. He always has been, much to my dismay.” That certainly didn’t make me feel any better. “But isn’t that what we’ve always said about him? Ever since he came to the castle, he’s always been different.”
Justin opened his mouth, but before he could speak, I said, “I assume you’re going to say something really nice about me right now, so thank you in advance.”
He closed his mouth immediately.
“Morgan knew it,” Randall continued. “Better than anyone, I think. He—there was something about the two of them together. Morgan, he—well. It gave him purpose. Morgan was… alone for a very long time. Not without purpose, no, because he had his role as the King’s Wizard. But I—I failed him. I became convinced that becoming solitary was the only way to deal with my grief. I should have gone about it a different way. But I didn’t, and things changed.” He smiled sadly. “And then Vadoma came to him, and it gave him a reason. It drove him, and though it pained Morgan greatly to know Sam was in the slums, he still took his role seriously. The day he…. The day in the alley when Sam first exhibited his propensity for magic was, I think, the greatest day of his life.”
I looked away, swallowing thickly. Ryan curled his hand around my elbow, a solid presence offering me comfort.
“But in the end, Morgan fell,” Letnia said. “Even he couldn’t stand up to Myrin. And we’re supposed to trust Sam to do what he could not?”
I snapped my head up, snarling in her direction. “If I could be half the wizard Morgan was, then I would consider myself lucky. He sacrificed himself for me. He believed in me, and I’m not going to let him down. I’m going to defeat Myrin. I don’t care what it takes.”
“Even if it means the death of your cornerstone?” Letnia shot back.
I went for her, but Ryan held me back. Lucky for her.
“That’s right,” Letnia snapped. “We know all about the prophecy now. Everything you kept hidden from us that day in Mama’s office in Meridian City. You kept secrets from us, secrets that could have helped us. What you’re capable of. The bird in the forest. And then you ran after Morgan died for you—”
“Letnia,” Mama barked, “shut your mouth before I shut it for you.”
“No,” Letnia said. “He needs to hear this. If he’s the chosen one, he needs to know what his actions have brought upon us.” She pushed herself off the wall, dropping her cigar and crushing it under the heel of her boot. Gary looked murderous, but I shook my head at him, knowing that she shouldn’t be the first person he stabbed with his horn now that he had it back. He needed to save that honor for someone truly despicable. “You left, Sam of Wilds. Morgan died for you, and even though you had the power to bring him back, you didn’t. All of those who have died because of Myrin could have been brought back, but instead you disappeared and we suffered. We might not have been as close to Morgan as you, but we still felt his loss. He didn’t belong to you. He belonged to Verania. To everyone. We all grieved. Especially after what came later. But we stayed, and we fought to save our homes. Without any wizards on our side. Because the two wizards that could have helped us were gone.” She spat on the ground at my feet. “Think of those that are suffering now and know that it rests upon you.”
It’d be easy, wouldn’t it?
To get her to shut up.
To silence her. I could do it. I really could.
Something simple, like taking her voice away.
Or fusing her lips together.
Or—
Or nothing.
Because that wasn’t who I was.
Maybe she was right. Maybe she wasn’t.
But she could never be as hard on me as I was on myself.
And she didn’t deserve my wrath.
So instead I focused on Gary. And Tiggy. My parents were safe. The King and Justin were together. Randall was here. And Ryan. Always Ryan. At my side. Anchoring me to him, never letting me float too far away. He was here. He was real. The world around me was colored in startling clarity, unlike the haze of the lost year in the forest.
This was something the Great White could never understand.
These were the people I fought for.
These were the people I’d lay down my life for.
To forsake them would mean going Dark.
And that’s not who I was.
So instead of making her head swell like a balloon, I took a breath. I took a step back until I was shoulder to shoulder with Ryan. He squeezed my elbow gently in recognition. I gave him a weak smile and looked back at Letnia.
Who was grinning at me quite scarily. “Good,” she said.
I blinked at her. “Excuse me?”
“I needed to see how in control you actually were.”
“You were testing me?”
She shrugged. “I still spoke what’s in my heart.”
“Well played,” I said, suitably impressed. “Like, that was some Mama levels of diabolicalness.”
Mama was frowning at Letnia. “Yes. Yes, it was. Thank you, Letnia, for allowing us to see how Sam would react. Also, if you try something like that again without consulting me beforehand, I will gut you. Are we clear?”
Letnia winked at Mama. Which, if you’ve never seen someone wearing an eye patch wink, I highly recommend it.
Mama turned back to me, and I wondered when she had started holding court with the actual King in her audience. The King didn’t seem too put off, so I chose to let it go. “You are a weapon.”
I frowned at that. “I’m not. I’m a person.”
“But the gods have given you the power to end all this foolishness.”
“I suppose that’s one way of looking at it—”
“Then what are you but a weapon?”
“I don’t know if I like you right now.”
“You misunderstand me, precious. I’m not denigrating you. I’m merely pointing out the obvious.” She sighed. “And I think that’s a problem many of us have. The stories told about you since you disappeared have become something akin to legend. And now that you’ve returned, there are great expectations upon you.”
“I didn’t ask for this.”
“Didn’t you? You told me once that when you were young, you would wish upon the stars to do something that matter
ed, to be someone who mattered.”
“Okay. True. But I think this is overdoing it a little.”
She shrugged. “Maybe. But here we are. I’m sorry.”
“For?”
“Everything you’ve gone through. Seeing you as a savior. I can’t imagine the weight upon your shoulders. I can admit that in my darkest moments, I thought of you as a means to an end. When my children were being taken from me, I wondered what I could do to get you to help me. I wanted to use you. And I’d be remiss if I didn’t say that part of me still does.”
“And that’s something we have in common,” Randall said. “I’ve made… mistakes. I thought that… well. Bluntly, there was a time I thought of using Sam. Or rather what he’s capable of. His magic is beyond me, something I can plainly admit. I had hope, for however brief a time, that Sam could bring Myrin back. The bird in the forest fueled that hope. Because what’s death if not a cleansing?” He looked at me. “But that’s not the way of things, is it, Sam?”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I said nothing.
Randall sighed. “Part of the forest died that day when he brought the bird back to life. The smallest of creatures, and the ground and trees were black. I’ve seen it. And it helped me to realize that sometimes, it’s the magic we don’t use that makes us powerful.”
I remembered standing above Morgan’s body, life teeming around me as the people of Verania mourned, remembering that I could just take from them if I really wanted to. That I could burn the life from their bones and shove it back inside Morgan.
“So where does that leave us, then?” Letnia asked.
“When I was a child,” Mama said, “my mother used to tell me a story.”
“You had parents?” Gary asked. “Wow. I thought that the world was lacking in fierceness, and then all of a sudden, you existed in an explosion of fire and incredible corsets.”
“You flatter me.”
“Yes. I do. Now it’s your turn.”
“I look forward to seeing how many people you invite to Gore City now that you have your horn.”
Gary grinned at her.
“Do me!” Tiggy said, shoving his brooms off his lap and standing. “Do me now.”
“You are the best half-giant I have ever known,” Mama told him, and even if she’d met no other or a hundred, I knew she meant it. She loved them as much as she seemed to love me.