“Sure.” He settled her at the table and snagged the two bags, making quick work of distributing the burgers and fries. They ate in near silence for a while, Kevin keeping an eye on Serena to ensure that she actually ate the food, rather than playing with it as she usually did when upset.
After he’d eaten his food and she’d done fairly good justice to hers, he cleared the sacks away and she let him pull her toward the living room couch.
“I’ve waited long enough. Now tell me exactly what happened.”
Serena bit her lip and clasped her hands together, but her gaze was steady as she looked him in the eye. “I’ve been working like crazy taking very few breaks, not eating much. I—” Her voice faltered for a moment. “I missed you and wanted to get back as soon as possible so I was working as hard and as fast as I could.”
There. She’d said it and he wasn’t running for the hills, wasn’t trying to put as much emotional and physical distance between them as possible. In fact, his grip on her hands had tightened and those beautiful, blue eyes seemed to warm gradually. She cleared her throat, fought against the rising panic clawing at her throat.
It was just typical that she’d managed to face her desecrated car and a legion of police without a whimper, but one look from Kevin and she was nearly panic-stricken. She cleared her throat, took another sip of her Coke as she bought herself some time. But when she looked back at Kevin, his gaze was just as steady, just as encompassing as before she’d admitted her feelings.
She reached for the silver throw she always kept on the back of the couch and dropped it over her legs. She’d been freezing for hours, despite the overwhelming heat and humidity.
“Anyway, it was about four o’clock and I was hungry. I’d been working since six-thirty, when I got back from the gym.”
His eyebrows rose. “You were at the gym before six a.m.?”
“I couldn’t sleep.” She shrugged. “And I haven’t been getting much exercise at your place, since you take up every free minute of my time.” Her look was pointed.
“Point taken.” He grinned, reaching a hand up to stroke her hair away from her face. “So it’s four o’clock and …”
“And I don’t have any food, since I’ve been staying with you. So I thought I’d run out for a sandwich. When I got to the street …” Her voice wavered, but she steadied it with sheer will. “When I got to the street, the damage had already been done. My car was totaled.”
“You didn’t hear anything while it was going on?”
“I was in the darkroom at the back of the house. I had music playing.” She shrugged again. “And when I’m working …”
“A bomb could go off and you wouldn’t notice.”
“Pretty much.”
“Your neighbors? It’s hard to imagine that no one saw anything.”
“Harder to imagine that they sat back and let it happen without calling the police.”
“Speaking of which, I’m proud of you for calling the police.”
She avoided his eyes. “Don’t be too proud. I called the insurance first and they insisted I file a report with the police before they’d take a claim from me. If they hadn’t …” Her voice trailed off.
“What’d the cops say?”
His voice was even, but she could tell he was annoyed with her idiocy. But that was too bad—she didn’t trust cops and had a pretty damned good reason for her distrust. He’d just have to learn to deal with it. “They wanted to know who I was seeing now, wanted to know about previous boyfriends and any sour relationships. The usual. Especially with the crank calls—” She broke off mid-sentence, but the damage had already been done.
“Crank calls?” he demanded, eyes suddenly blazing. “You’ve been getting crank calls and you haven’t told me? For how long?”
Serena cursed the tiredness that made her say things without thinking. She tried to shrug it off, to think of something, anything else to say, but her exhausted brain wasn’t working well enough for that. So she tried to underplay it. “Look, it’s no big deal. He—”
“How long, damn it?” He grabbed her arms, turned her so that they were face-to-face.
“A few weeks.” She shrugged out of his grip. “They started before I met you, and at first I thought it was just some kids. But now—”
“Now that’s not looking real likely, is it?”
She shook her head miserably.
“He calls you at home?” He looked around her condo suspiciously. “But you haven’t been here.”
“He calls on my cell too.”
“He’s got your cell number?” He stared at her incredulously. “Has he called you while you were with me?”
“Kevin …”
“He has. And you didn’t tell me. What’s wrong with you?”
Her spine stiffened and her eyes turned cold. “Nothing is wrong with me, Kevin. Despite appearances to the contrary, I am not in the habit of spilling my problems on anyone who walks by.”
“That’s the biggest bullshit you’ve ever handed me.” His hands clenched on her upper arms and he shook her gently, fury rolling off him in waves. “You don’t sleep with everybody who walks by either, but you’re sleeping with me. That entitles me to some privileges when it comes to you.”
She’d never seen him so angry and a long-forgotten part of her wanted to soothe him. To let him pull her in and take care of her. That feeling—that utter neediness—had her straightening her spine before she could think twice about it. She wasn’t Sandra, desperate to make some guy love her. “You only have the privileges I give you.”
“Fuck that.” His hands clamped more tightly on her arms and though he was careful not to hurt her, she definitely felt the dominance in the gesture. “You’re mine, Serena.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re going to want to back off.”
“You’re going to want to fall into line.” His eyebrows lowered and he stared straight at her with eyes even narrower than hers. “Because I’ve got no give in me about this, cher. Not when it comes to your safety.”
They stayed that way for long moments before she pulled away, unable to maintain eye contact with him for another second. Desperate for a little space, she sprang to her feet and crossed the room. Seconds passed slowly as she stared at the painting above her dining room table, concentrating on the colors as she took one breath and then another and another. In, out. In, out. She fell back on the familiar mantra.
When she finally had herself back under control, she turned to walk back to the sofa and ran directly into Kevin’s broad chest. He’d been right behind her the whole time and she hadn’t even known he was there. The knowledge pissed her off like nothing else could have.
When had she let down her guard enough that he could sneak up on her like that? When had she started feeling so safe with Kevin that she stopped noticing every move he made?
“Back off.” She ground the words out from between clenched teeth. She was suffocating under the weight of everything that had happened these last few weeks and he wasn’t making things any better. “Can’t you see I need a little space?”
His eyes were pained as he stared back at her. “Can’t you see that the more you run the more I want to chase?”
She sighed disgustedly. “Look, I don’t have time for your poor, abused boyfriend act. You came to me, remember? I didn’t call you and ask you to come. If you don’t like how things play out, that’s not my problem.”
Kevin gritted his teeth, her words making him even angrier because he knew she was right. She hadn’t called him, hadn’t asked him to be here with her. He walked to the window, thrust his hands through his hair as he tried to get his rampaging emotions under control.
“You’re right,” he said.
“What?” she asked incredulously.
“You’re right. You didn’t ask for help and I don’t have any right to expect you to. It’s not like we’re in a real relationship, right?”
“That’s not what I meant.” She sighed, h
er fingers playing with the hair at the nape of her neck. It was a gesture she made only when she was nervous and confused and it melted his anger despite his best efforts to hold on to it.
“I’m frightened for you, Serena.” He kept his voice soft, compelling. “It frightens me to think of some psycho gunning for you.”
“You’re not playing fair.” Her eyes were sad, her mouth trembly as she studied him. She was waiting for the other shoe to fall and he was suddenly, overwhelmingly disgusted with himself. How had he managed to make her crisis all about him?
“I’m not playing at all.” She stared at him, eyes wounded and searching, and he could no longer hold on to even the pretense of being pissed off. So he sighed, tucking the hurt away as he pulled her into a loose embrace. “I’m sorry. This thing blindsided me. If I promise not to act like an ass anymore, will you tell me what else has been going on?”
He felt the stiffness leak out of her, felt the exact moment when she decided to let the argument go. He stayed like that for a while, his arms around her while their hearts beat in the same rhythm.
When they’d both calmed down a little, he pulled away and said, “Finish telling me about what the cops said.”
“That’s it, really.” She let him pull her over to the sofa, let him cuddle her against him as he stroked her hair. “They want to know about my lovers—present and recent past. I told them we hadn’t even known each other when the calls started and that you were with me when some of the messages were left. So they’ve ruled you out.”
“What about your other lovers?”
She blushed, turned her face away. “There hasn’t been anybody but you in over a year. And Carlos wasn’t exactly the insane, wreck-a-car-when-the-relationship-goes-south kind of guy, you know?”
“So there’s been no one else.” His stare was direct and uncompromising. “No one-night stands, no casual hook-ups—”
“Kevin!”
“I’m not interrogating you, Serena. I couldn’t care less. But I’ve been thinking about this, a lot, and I need to know.”
“No! There’s been no one. That’s why I was so … you know, when we first got together.”
He grinned. “No, I don’t know. Do you mean hot? Horny? Unbelievably sexy? But we’ve been together a couple of weeks now, working on all that pent-up frustration, and you don’t seem to have cooled off any.”
“Will you stop it?” Her cheeks flamed and she stood, desperate to put a little distance between them. Desperate to get her equilibrium back.
When she’d seen her car, her first thought had been to call Kevin and let him deal with it. She’d known that he would be there for her, would hold her hand and deal with all the messy stuff she didn’t want to handle. It was that knee-jerk reaction, more than the car and all that it had implied, that had sent her into a tailspin. Since when did she let someone else, particularly a male someone else, deal with her problems? Since when wasn’t she strong enough to deal with them herself?
That was the real reason she hadn’t called him. Because she’d wanted to. She’d needed him to be with her. She, who didn’t need anyone, had felt the absence of another person keenly for the first time since her twin died. It wasn’t a comfortable feeling.
Wrapping her arms around herself, Serena started toward the big bay window at the end of her living room. His strong arms reached out and pulled her back onto the couch, back onto his lap. His lips skimmed over her forehead, down her nose, across her cheek and then back to her mouth. Their lips met, and though Serena felt the familiar arousal beginning to burn in the pit of her stomach, Kevin kept the kiss light, soothing. Healing.
When he finally pulled away, she was pressed against him, her peaked nipples against his hard chest. They were both breathless, and she was gratified to see that for once, Kevin’s hands shook as badly as her own. She cuddled against him, ran her lips up the strong column of his throat. She was weary, emotionally worn-out and desperate for the distraction he could so easily provide.
But instead of giving in to the fire that burned so brightly between them, Kevin lifted her off his lap and placed her next to him on the couch. He was careful to maintain some small physical contact with her, but she got the message loud and clear. He didn’t want her. She wrapped her arms tightly around her waist, hugging herself though she’d much rather have Kevin’s arms holding her. But, though his hand remained on her thigh, he’d never felt so far away.
“Look, Serena, I’ve been thinking …” His voice trailed off as he searched for words.
“Are you dumping me?” she asked incredulously. “Now?”
“What? Are you insane?” Both his face and voice reflected his shock. “Where the hell did you get a crazy idea like that?”
“You didn’t want to—” She gestured to the couch. “You’re mad about me not calling you and I know I’ve been a lot of trouble lately but—”
His mouth swooped down and took hers violently, the tenderness from earlier nowhere to be seen. His lips devoured hers, his tongue thrusting into her mouth, claiming her, branding her with every stroke.
When he finally broke the kiss, her lips were bruised and swollen and her panties were soaked through. “You aren’t any trouble. And even if you were, I’d still want to be with you. Vous me rendez fou! You make me crazy, cher. You turn me inside out. When are you going to figure that out?”
Serena stared into his midnight-blue eyes, saw the anger and possessiveness burning there. His feelings were so intense she wanted to look away, but she forced herself to maintain eye contact. As she looked deeper, she saw past the rage to the caring and concern, saw past the fear to the agony of love reflected there.
His hands were still wrapped around her upper arms, his fingers gripping her hard enough to leave bruises, but he seemed oblivious to his actions. She reached up, cupped his face. “Then what were you thinking about? What are you having such a hard time saying?”
His hands dropped away and he looked instantly uncomfortable. “I almost didn’t say anything, because I could be wrong. But I’ve been thinking things over since I got Steve’s call.” He took a deep breath and finally blurted, “What if it’s all connected?”
She looked blank. “What if what’s all connected?”
“The SUV in San Diego, your car here. These crank calls. What if it’s all the same guy?”
“But who?” She was bewildered, even as her heart rate increased. “We already talked about the fact that you’re the first serious relationship I’ve had in a long time.” She paused, backtracked. “Not that we’re—”
“Damn right we’re serious,” he snarled, his expression daring her to contradict him. “But, as you said earlier, I think we can safely rule me out. However, and I’m really sorry to bring this up if I’m wrong, but haven’t all these things happened after Damien got out of jail? After you testified at his parole hearing?”
Serena paled alarmingly, her skin turning clammy beneath his hands. She struggled for breath, tried to maintain perspective as nausea threatened to overwhelm her. “That doesn’t make sense. Why would he risk his parole on something this stupid? Someone could have easily seen him in front of my house, could have called the police and he’d end up back in prison for another five years.” She shook her head, her tone decisive. “He’s too smart. He wouldn’t risk it.”
“He may be smart, but he’s also obsessed. And more than a little crazy or he wouldn’t have been able to … do what he did.”
She thought over what Kevin said, hating the cold logic behind his words. “But the calls started in late June, months before he even got out of jail.”
Kevin shrugged. “He wasn’t in maximum security lockdown, right? That means he had access to a phone.” His eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “In fact, it should be easy enough for the police to check out the records from the prison, see if there were any calls from the pay phones inside to your home or cell numbers.”
“But why? We had almost nothing to do with each other when Sandra was
alive. She knew I didn’t like him, so after the first couple of months she kept us apart.”
“You were the key witness for the defense, right? Wasn’t it your testimony that forced him into cutting a deal?” At her nod, he continued, “Revenge is a hell of a motivator.”
“Ten years later?”
“What’s that old expression? ‘A dish best served cold?’ ”
Her lungs wouldn’t work. She tried to breathe, tried to force air into her starved lungs, but nothing was happening. It was as if Kevin’s words had broken her, tearing her apart until nothing worked as it should.
Things started to go black and she felt herself sway. Then Kevin was shoving her head between her legs, calling her name as he pounded repeatedly on her back.
The blackness beckoned, so once again she focused on her breathing, concentrating on drawing noisy breaths into her oxygen-deprived lungs. The sounds she made weren’t pretty as she tried to force her shock-frozen lungs to accept air, but finally, finally, the darkness began to recede.
When she felt well enough to sit up, she did so only to find Kevin staring at her with horror-glazed eyes. “Mon Dieu, bebe. You sure know how to take the years off a man’s life.”
She smiled weakly. “I can’t—”
“I know, cher. I know.” She let him cuddle her, let the steady beat of his heart lull her into a sleepy daze where she didn’t have to think about her sister or Damien or the blood that had covered her long after the nurses had sponged her off.
Kevin held her for a long time, murmuring softly to her in French. When he finally spoke in English, it was to say, “We need to call the police. Tell them what we think.”
“Not yet.”
“Serena—”
“I know, I know. We will. But not right now, Kevin. Not quite yet. Just give me a few more minutes before I open that door again. Just a few more minutes.”
He continued to rub her back. “All right, bebe. But just a few more.”