I shrugged. “It’s not,” I said with vehemence. “Because it’s ridiculous to think that any two people would be stupid enough to proclaim eternal love for each other. I mean how could they? They can’t know how they’ll feel in a year or two, let alone in ten or twenty. Why promise something you can’t be sure to keep?”
“So, you would never promise something like that?” Abby asked, obviously unwilling to just let it go.
I shook my head. “No, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t want to break my word. And odds are the day would come when I’d be forced to break it or live a lie.”
Owen took a step forward, lifting his hands as though trying to keep two opponents apart. “Maybe it’s a bit late to discuss that. Why don’t we just head home?”
“Doesn’t it bother you?” Abby asked, looking at him. “I mean I love her, which she knows because I’ve told her,” She looked pointedly at me. “But sometimes what she says makes me angry or…maybe sad.” Her face took on a pitying expression, which I couldn’t understand. I was happy with who I was.
Owen shook his head. “Why would it bother me? She said she loved me, and that’s enough for me. I don’t need any guarantees.”
“Thank you,” I said to him. Although what he’d just said made me feel guilty, I quickly pushed that thought away. I’d dwell on it later.
“Abby listen,” I said. “I understand what you’re saying, but I just happen to think differently about it. I don’t want to promise something I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep. All I can do is tell someone how I feel today and maybe promise tomorrow, but anything beyond that…” There I broke off, shock freezing my face in a grotesque mask when I realized what I’d just said.
Owen frowned at me. “Are you all right? You look pale.”
Two more worried faces appeared before me, but I barely saw them, neither did I hear what they were asking me. All I could do was tell them that I wanted to go home. More than ever, I needed to be alone with my thoughts.
I have no recollection of how I got home. But when I finally got rid of them and was alone in my apartment, I almost ran into my bedroom, stopping in front of the nightstand. For a moment, I just stared down at the book laying there. Then I bent down and picked it up. I took a deep breath before I finally opened it to the page marked by the silver book clip, engraved Today & Tomorrow.
After all this time, I thought I finally knew what it meant. But who had given it to me?
Chapter Fourteen – Belonging
Waking up with a massive headache from spending yet another night listening to that obnoxious beeping sound, I got dressed and finally decided to go with a mild pain killer. It was unbelievable that you could get a headache from a dream. After all, it wasn’t real noise. It was just imagined noise. But unfortunately, just as annoying.
I arrived at the restaurant half an hour early and was relieved to find Abby in the employees’ lounge. Sometimes she was almost psychic, knowing exactly when I needed her.
Knowing that we wouldn’t get a chance to talk once customers started pouring in, I jumped straight to the point without any preliminaries.
“I saw him again,” was all I needed to say to light up her face. Abby grabbed my arm and pulled me onto the couch, her eyes eager.
“Tell me everything!” she demanded.
“Well, as always there is not much to tell,” I started. “On my way back from the concession stand at the movies yesterday, I ran into him. Isn’t it weird how he always knows where I am?”
Abby nodded impatiently. “Yes, we’ve already established that. What happened next?”
“Yeah, but doesn’t it make you wonder how he gets there. I mean, does he walk or drive or does he really somehow appear out of thin air? It always feels like that. He doesn’t seem normal. Not like you or me.”
She stared at me with narrowed eyes. “I resent that. I’m not normal. All my life, I’ve done my best not to be normal. Saying I’m normal is just mean.”
“Okay, okay,” I tried to calm her. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.”
Her face softened. “All right then, apology accepted.” She grinned at me. “So, did he say anything?”
I nodded, and Abby almost slid off the couch with excitement. Not knowing why, I felt a little embarrassed when I told her. “He said, You don’t belong with him.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
She nodded. “Okay, not much, but still enough to work with. I think it’s safe to say that he was referring to Owen, don’t you think?”
“I guess so. Who else could he have meant? But why would he say something like that in the first place?”
A mischievous gleam appeared in her eyes. “Who do you think he wants you to be with?”
“C’mon, you don’t know that. He could have been talking about anyone.”
Abby shook her head. “I guess he could have. But he wasn’t. Has he ever said anything to you before last night?”
For a second, I frowned but then realized that Abby really didn’t know about that yet. In 2004, I hadn’t told her and the other would only happen in 2011.
“Well, once he just said my name. But the time I saw him before last night, he said You shouldn’t be here and then later he also said Some risks are worth taking.”
“Okay, he really is a bit cryptic,” Abby said, concentrating. “Where were you when he said you shouldn’t be here? Where is here?”
“I was in the village by my grandma’s cottage.”
Abby’s face lit up. “Oh, I love that place. We should really go again some time.”
“Abby, focus!”
“Sorry.” And she was back on track. “Okay, and when did he say some risks are worth taking?”
Frowning, I said, “Actually I was at my grandma’s, too. Out by the lake. It was frozen over, and he walked onto the ice. I yelled to him to be careful, and that’s when he said it. Do you think it had something to do with my grandma’s place?”
Abby shrugged. “Maybe. But maybe he just follows you wherever you go.”
“Yeah, but how does he know where I am? Plus, it always seems like he also follows me through time. The time shifts form a certain order for me, and it’s as though they are in the same order for him, too. Why is that?”
Abby laughed. “How should I know? But it seems clear that he is trying to tell you something.”
“Then why doesn’t he just say it?” I cut in, now feeling impatient myself.
“Maybe he can’t.”
“Why?”
Abby shrugged. “I don’t know, Jena. But from what you told me I don’t think he’s playing a mean game. He seems sincere, don’t you think so?”
Remembering his face, I nodded. “Yes, he does.”
“See? So, there probably is a reason why he is doing what he’s doing. Is there anything else you remember? Has he said or done anything else that could be considered another clue?” Suddenly, she laughed. “Gosh, this feels like solving a crime.”
“I’m glad this is entertaining for you,” I said, starting to feel frustrated.
“Don’t be glum. It won’t get you anywhere. So?”
I thought for a while before I remembered why I had wanted to talk to Abby in the first place. Opening my purse, I took out the book from my nightstand and opened it to the page with the bookmark. “Do you remember this?” I asked.
Abby’s eyes opened wide. “Yeah, you showed it to me before. But…but it was years ago.”
“Three to be exact. It was that Christmas we spent at my grandma’s.”
“Right.” She stared at me. “You saw him then, too? Wait! Don’t tell me! That’s when he walked onto the lake, right?” I nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me then?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.” But she looked at me, waiting for a more detailed explanation. “You know I traveled from 2007 to 2011, when I did tell you. You just don’t know it yet because technically it hasn’t happened for you yet. And when it–whatever ‘it’ is??
?dragged me back to 2004 after that and I realized you couldn’t possibly remember our previous conversation, I didn’t know what to do. I was just so tired of repeating myself and so frustrated that it had happened again. So I didn’t say anything. And then before I knew it, I woke up and it was 2008. Who knows where I’ll be tomorrow?”
“Okay, I forgive you,” she said, being all generous. “So, back to the bookmark. Why do you think it’s important?”
I swallowed. “Because whenever I wake up in a different time, I find a different book on my nightstand with that bookmark in it. But I’ve never seen it before. I can’t remember anyone ever giving it to me, and yet, it is here. But where did it come from?”
Inspecting the bookmark more closely, Abby asked, “What about the engraving? Any idea what it could mean?”
“At first, I didn’t. But I think I might have figured that out last night.”
Again, there was eagerness in her eyes. “So, tell me.”
I grinned at her. “I’m not sure you’ll like it. Especially not after our argument last night.”
“C’mon, tell me. I promise I won’t get mad. Or maybe just a little,” she said, winking at me.
“Fine,” I relented. “Yesterday, I said something about how I would never promise anything I couldn’t be sure to keep.” She nodded, already looking a little annoyed with me, but I ignored her. “And that when it came to love, I could only give someone today and maybe promise tomorrow but nothing further than that.” I raised my eyebrows at her. “So?”
For a moment, she just looked at me. Then her eyes opened wide. “Oh, my god! That’s what the engraving means!”
“I can’t be sure,” I said. “But I think so, yes.”
Staring at the bookmark, she said, “So, whoever gave this to you must be someone who knows you well. Someone very close to you.”
“I guess so. But how come I don’t remember who gave it to me?”
“Maybe because it hasn’t happened yet,” Abby said, handing the bookmark to me.
“What? Then how come I’m holding it in my hand now?”
Her eyes shifted from the bookmark to me. “Maybe you’re taking it with you when you…shift…or whatever you want to call it.”
I frowned. “But how is this possible?” I mumbled more to myself than to her.
Abby just laughed. “How is any of this possible? But if you’re telling me the truth–by the way if you aren’t, you are really going to regret it–then it looks like a lot more than we ever thought is possible. Why not this?”
I nodded. She was right. At this point, I probably shouldn’t rule out any explanation, no matter how far-fetched it might seem. And if the bookmark had traveled with me from a time further in the future, then 2011 was not my present, either. But just another part of my past. Where or rather when did I belong? Which was my time?
Suddenly, the door opened, and Leo walked in. “Hey, what are you two still doing here? It’s already past eight. Let’s get to work. Chop, chop.”
Reluctantly, we went outside to the seating area, which was already filling with customers. For the next few hours, we rushed back and forth between the kitchen and the tables. It was busy and hectic, but not too bad, and I easily settled back into my old routine.
Before long, lunch time came around, and I felt relieved to be able to talk to Abby again. Looking at her, she seemed just as eager. We headed straight for the employees’ lounge. However, before we passed through the door, I heard someone call my name over all the noise.
I felt a tingle run down my back as I turned around, expecting to see my mystery guy.
Instead, it was Owen. And my brother.
The smile died on my lips, which made them frown at me.
It turned out they had wanted to surprise us and go out for lunch. Reluctantly, we agreed, knowing that we probably wouldn’t be able to get rid of them and even if, that it would be incredibly rude. So, we went to a little Italian place just around the corner.
Soon, Andy and Abby were deep in conversation, again making googly eyes at each other. It was sweet, and yet, kind of disturbing. After all, he was my brother.
“Hey, would you like to go out tonight?” Owen asked, picking a tomato out of my salad.
My eyes narrowed. I couldn’t help it. He didn’t know it, yet, but to me we were already over, and it was difficult to pretend. “Actually, Abby and I wanted to do something. You know, girls’ night.”
He nodded. “Then how about tomorrow?”
“Eh, I think I have work tomorrow,” I tried to say as unobtrusively as possible.
“I see,” he said, but I could see that he had noticed that something had changed between us.
“Jena,” Abby called suddenly. When I turned to her, I found her eagerly pointing across the street, a big grin on her face.
Looking in that direction, a smile spread across my face as well. There on the sidewalk stood my mystery guy, and for the first time, I realized I was happy to see him.
“It’s him, isn’t it?” Abby asked.
Following my gaze, Owen frowned at me. “Who are you talking about? Who is that, Jena?”
Without answering him, I rose from my seat. “I’ll be right back.”
An eye out for traffic, I hastened across the street.
As my mystery guy saw me coming, he once again turned around and walked away. I rushed after him as fast as I could, and this time, I actually caught up with him. Grabbing his arm, I made him turn around to face me.
A faint smile played on his lips, and there was a barely noticeable nod of his head. It was as though he was telling me he approved of what I was doing.
“Who are you?” I asked again. “Please, tell me. I need to know. I feel like I know you but…but I don’t know how. How do we know each other? You know who I am, don’t you?”
His eyes bored into mine, and there was that flutter in my stomach again like a million butterflies soaring into the air. I was starting to feel a little weak in the knees as my heart began to hammer in my chest once more.
Suddenly, he reached out his hand until his fingertips touched my face, gently tracing the line of my jaw. “Come back with me,” he whispered, and a shiver went down my back.
Looking at him, I knew his face was familiar. There was something there. Something I recognized; but I couldn’t place it. Maybe it was just subconscious, because my waking mind still didn’t know who he was.
“Come back where?” I whispered back. “Where do you want me to go?”
However, he didn’t say anything. He just looked at me, waiting.
I didn’t know who he was, and yet, I trusted him. I was just about to agree when I heard Owen call my name.
It was like a slap in the face, and reality got hold of me again. I shook my head to clear it. There were too many contrasting thoughts pulling me in different directions. I didn’t know what to do.
“Jena!” Owen called again.
The second my mystery guy heard Owen’s voice call my name, he gave me another sad smile before he turned around and walked down the street.
As though it was some kind of reflex, I started after him.
However, Owen’s voice called my back, I stopped. Although every fiber in my body was screaming at me to follow, I stopped and watched my mystery guy walk away.
A moment later, Owen grabbed my arm and turned me around. “What were you doing? Who is that guy?” His face was angry and confused.
I guess he had every right to be.
“No one,” I whispered, heading back to the restaurant where my brother and Abby were waiting. Andy’s face was just as confused as Owen’s while Abby grinned from ear to ear, excitement clear in her eyes.
“Jena,” Owen said again. His voice sounded so strained that I turned around, seeing the hurt on his face.
“I’m sorry,” I just said. “We need to get back to work. Let’s talk about it later.”
He nodded, lips pressed tightly into a thin line.
Chapter Fiftee
n – Should or Shouldn't?
“So, then tell me. Who is he?” Owen asked, arms crossed. It was easy to see that he was upset.
I didn’t feel so good either. I didn’t know what to say. There was no way I could explain to him what was going on. Would it have any negative consequences if I ended things between us now? Or was it important that I let things run their course?
I was at a loss and started pacing the living room.
“You care about him, don’t you?” Owen said when I didn’t answer.
I looked at him, again seeing the hurt on his face. “It’s not that simple,” I started, not sure where I was going with this. “I don’t even know him.”
Owen threw his hands in the air. “You know him well enough to drop everything and hurry after him as soon as he shows up.” His voice was angry. “What is going on here? I think I deserve an explanation.”
“You’re right, you do. But I’m not sure I can give you one.”
Leaning on the backrest of the couch, he stared at me. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “It means that I can’t give you what I don’t have.”
His eyes narrowed. “Do you think this is funny? I don’t have time for games, and I’m sure as hell not in the mood for them either.” His voice grew louder. “I want to know who the hell that guy was, Jena.”
“I don’t know his name.”
Owen clapped his hands together, fixing me with an icy stare. “This is ridiculous. Do you actually expect me to believe you? If you want me to go, all you have to do is ask.” An incredible sadness came to his eyes.
I just stood there, unable to say anything, knowing that this would hurt him even more. I didn’t even give him the chance to vent.
Again, he leaned forward. “Do you want me to go?” he asked, his voice almost a whisper. “Is that why you’ve been acting so strange lately? Please tell me. Just tell me if you want us to be over.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I want.” I didn’t dare look at him, my eyes focused on the floor.