“Stop it, you two!” yelled Mack, wrestling first with me and then giving up to go control the Attack Barbie who had a fistful of my hair.
I was on my knees, so I punched her hard in the groin muscle to get her to release me. It worked like a charm, and as soon as I was free, I stood up straight, breathing like a bull. Tossing my hair out of my face, I gestured for her to come at me. “Come on, bitch, bring it on.” I huffed and puffed, waiting for her next move. “I’m ready for you now.” I held my fists up and began dancing from side to side like Mohammed Fucking Ali, grateful my lifeplan had involved over three hundred hours of kickboxing aerobics. She was pretty tall, but I was fairly certain I could give her a roundhouse to the side of the head and at least knock her silly.
“Andie?” came a startled voice from off in the distance.
My brain made the connection the minute I saw the myriad expressions move across Mack’s face:
Disbelieving.
Stricken.
Angry.
“Andie what are you doing?” the man asked.
My fists dropped to my sides as I sagged inward. All the fight went out of me like air from a dying balloon, as fantasy collided with reality and left me blindsided. “Oh. Hi, Bradley. What are you doing here?”
I never saw the fist coming until it connected with my jaw.
Chapter Forty-One
I CAME-TO LYING ON the ground next to the banquet table, several faces looming over mine. The first one I noticed was Mack’s because his was the first I wanted to see there. And his hat was taking up a lot of space and blocking out my view of anyone else.
“Hi,” I said, confused and embarrassed. “Tell me I just dreamed a girl fight as part of a head injury.”
“I think you got it in reverse. Girl fight first and then the head injury.” He put his hand on the top of my head. “Are you okay enough to sit up?”
“Andie, what the hell is going on?” Bradley asked.
For the first time I noticed him standing off to my right, down on bended knee on my other side. His face was one giant frown.
“You’re really here too?” was all I could manage.
“Yes, I told you I was coming. Jesus, would you get up? You look terrible lying there on the ground like that.”
Mack shot him an angry look but said nothing, putting his hand behind my neck and sitting me up.
The world tilted a little and then went normal again. Standing in front of me were Maeve, Grandma Lettie, and several other women. They were doing what they could to get the table put back together. Maeve glanced at me and then went back to her work.
Tears came to my eyes. “I’m so sorry,” I said, my voice breaking partway through. The shame was unbearable.
“Don’t worry about it,” said Maeve, obviously unhappy. “This is not your fault.”
“Of course it’s not her fault,” said Bradley. “She was attacked by that woman over there. I hope she knows she’s looking at a civil suit.”
I held up my hand. “Stop, Bradley. I’m not suing anyone.”
“Of course you are. We’re not going to let some inbred criminal attack you like that.”
“Man, I don’t know who you are, but you’d better watch your mouth.” This threat came from Ian. I glanced over and saw him standing off to the side with Boog who was looking after a distraught Hannah Banana. I don’t know why I thought she looked like Chuckie before. Now she just looked pitiful, with makeup smeared under her eyes, one of her heels broken off, and her hair in frizzy clumps all over the place.
Mack got me to my feet and held onto me until I had my balance back. I nodded to let him know he could let me go and he did, stepping away.
Bradley moved in to put his arm around me. “Come on, we’re leaving.”
I shook him off, getting angry when he made it difficult. “No, stop. I’m not going with you.”
Bradley stood there with his arms out in a frozen embrace. “What do you mean you’re not going with me? You just got hit on the head. You can’t travel by yourself.”
“If she needs to go back, I’ll take her,” said Mack. He looked at me. “Or you could just not go back. You could stay.”
Bradley laughed, a very snobbish unkind sound coming from his throat. “Oh, man … do you really think a girl like Andie’d be interested in staying out here in the middle of bumfuck Oregon with you? … Just because you’ve got a cowboy hat on and a swinging dick? Please. She has more class than that.” He reached for me again, but I stepped out of his range and closer to Mack.
“Don’t talk to him like that,” I insisted, embarrassed about the fact that I’d actually considered marrying this jerk. All the times Ruby and I had made fun of him at the firm came back to me, along with all the feelings of loathing they had engendered. I realized then that I had some freakishly superhuman powers of distraction, somehow managing to trick myself into forgetting all that and actually sleeping with him for almost two years.
“You’re defending him?” Bradley took a step back. “I don’t get it, Andie. What the hell is going on here?”
The ladies who’d been straightening up the buffet moved closer to listen in, Maeve and Grandma Lettie at the head of the group. Angus, Ian, and Boog came over too, all of them forming a large ring around the three of us: Mack, Bradley, and me. It was like the showdown at the OK Corral, only without guns and a lot more embarrassment.
I cleared my throat, my gaze darting to the faces around me. I saw questioning looks, accusatory ones, and sad ones. The only one that mattered to me was Mack’s, and of course his face was a mask I couldn’t read.
“Tell him, Andie,” Mack encouraged. ‘Tell him what we did.”
My voice caught in my throat as the tears spilled over onto my cheeks. I shook my head slowly, the humiliation of telling everyone what I’d done to both Mack and Bradley with my carelessness too much to bear.
“Do you want me to do it?” he asked gently.
I couldn’t say yes. It was wrong to make him shoulder this burden. “No,” I finally said through the tears that continued to fall. “I’ll do it.”
“Tell me,” said Bradley, angry now.
“Don’t be mad at Mack,” I begged. “He didn’t do anything wrong.”
“What’s going on, Andie?” said Angus, his voice calm and soft. “Whatever it is, I’m sure we can work it out.”
I put my hand on my lips to keep them from quivering. Reaching deep down inside me, I pulled up the last bit of reserves I had to calm myself enough to talk. I cleared my throat and looked at Grandma Lettie. She nodded her head once and winked at me, her face completely serious. I used her confidence as my guide and then looked at Bradley so I could deliver the crushing blow to both of our hearts.
Chapter Forty-Two
YOU COULD HAVE HEARD A pin drop when I started talking.
“Two years ago I went to Las Vegas with my two girlfriends. While I was there I met Mack.” I looked over at him and my breath hitched when I saw the longing in his eyes. I had to turn away so I could continue. I focused on Bradley’s angry expression instead. I owed him that much.
“We played blackjack but then we drank a lot. I’d already had quite a few cocktails before I’d met him, but then we had more, and eventually we ended up … getting together.”
“Aw, Jesus, come on, Andie, this has nothing to do with us,” said Bradley. “We didn’t start dating until after you met him and came back.”
“Yes, it does have something to do with us. It has everything to do with us. Just … let me tell it.” I took a deep breath and looked at Maeve. Time to pay the piper.
“When we were in Vegas, we got married. At one of those twenty-four hour chapels.”
Maeve’s eyes opened wider and she looked at her husband. He seemed more stunned than she did.
“He disappeared for the whole damn night, thanks to you,” said Ian. He was pissed.
“Shut up, Ian. Now’s not the time,” warned Mack.
I continued, ignoring Ian??
?s interruption. “We hardly even knew each other, but we got married.”
Mack stepped over and stood close to me, pulling my attention away from his mother’s shocked expression. I could feel his arm all the way down mine and his warmth comforted me as I think it was meant to.
“It’s not real, Andie. It didn’t happen,” said Bradley, also stepping closer. He was using his cajoling tone, trying to get me to change my mind.
“Oh, it’s real, all right,” said Mack, defensive. “She has the documentation to prove it, and I’m not signing any divorce papers. Not yet anyway.” He looked down at me. “Not until she’s absolutely sure she’s done with me.”
I stared at the ground.
“She doesn’t need you to sign any papers, you redneck idiot,” Bradley ground out.
“Hey now, there’s no call for that kind of language,” said Angus, his chest puffing out a little. Several of the men nearby moved closer to stand behind him.
I started feeling panicky about the situation. I had to fix things before they got out of hand. “Bradley’s right. Mack doesn’t have to sign the papers. I can do it without the signature if I have to.” I forced myself to look up at him, even though I knew it was going to bring so much pain.
He was stricken. “You’re not going to do that are you?”
“I have to,” I said, my voice trembling. I wanted to vomit right there at his feet I was so sick over it.
“No, you don’t,” he insisted, putting his hand on the side of my face. “I told you, you can stay here. Stay with me. Be my wife in more than just words. Let me show you how much I love you.”
“Am I the only person here who hasn’t lost his mind?” yelled Bradley, clearly frustrated.
“No!” yelled Hannah. “You are not the only one!”
“Thank you!” he yelled back, looking at me. “Andie, that knock you took to the head obviously caused you some brain damage. We’ll get it looked at back home, but you need to come with me now. No more playing cowgirl. We have a rehearsal dinner to plan, a wedding to finish, and people to pick up from the airport. Our friends and family are waiting for us back home.”
I looked from Bradley to Mack, my head spinning with the choices flying around me. Lifeplan or off-the-rails-no-plan? Lawyer or rancher? City or country? The man I once loathed and then came to see a partnership opportunity with or the man I’d never had anything but fun with? The known quantity or the stranger?
Mack’s hand fell away from my face and his expression became shuttered.
“I don’t think she wants to go with you, city boy,” said Grandma Lettie.
Bradley frowned at her dismissively before turning back to me. “You’re just feeling obligated,” he said, his voice much gentler than it had been. “You feel like you signed the paper and said the vows, so now you have to follow through. I know you, Andie … I know you a hell of a lot better than this hayseed does. But you don’t have to do that, okay?” He got a really hopeful grin on his face. “I made some calls. It’s all good news.” He held his hand out for mine.
“What’s good news?” I asked, wondering what he had cooking up his sleeve. Bradley was always good for a last minute courtroom surprise, and that’s what this felt like.
He glowered at Mack for a few seconds before continuing. It made my heart freeze over because I knew what it meant.
“I called the Nevada State licensing department.”
“So did Andie. She has a document from them,” said Mack. He was nervous too. I could hear it in his voice.
“I’m not talking about that department. I’m talking about the one that licenses wedding chapels.”
My blood ran cold and the sound of pounding heartbeats echoed around in my head. I could hear my own hammering pulse and it was drowning out everything but Bradley’s voice. He was like the great and terrible Oz, delivering the bad news.
“That place that married you? They weren’t properly licensed. Your marriage is a sham. It’s not real. You’re not really married to this guy. See? You don’t even need a divorce.”
There were a couple gasps from the women and a mumbling came from Angus’s group of friends.
“What are you talking about?” I asked when I could speak again.
“For a girl known around town as the discovery queen, you sure didn’t do a very good job of checking your facts,” he said mockingly as he moved in to take me by the elbow. “Come on. Time to go home.” He looked over my head at Mack. “No harm, no foul, guy. You’re single. Might as well live it up while you can.”
I looked back at Mack and felt something like a knife entering my chest at the expression on his face. He was staring at me like I had done it, like I had tricked him into thinking he was married.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered as I let Bradley lead me to the front of the house.
The crowd in front of us parted and fell away. An almost clear path led from the banquet table to Bradley’s shiny silver rental car. The only thing standing in our way was Grandma Lettie.
Chapter Forty-Three
SHE FROWNED AT ME, BRINGING what looked like a hundred years of practiced shaming down on my head.
“Come on, Andie.” Bradley pushed me so we could go around her. I stumbled numbly to the side.
“Are you just going to let him boss you around like that?” she asked.
I was in a fog. I could hear the words, but they weren’t making sense. “What?”
“I said, are you going to just let him boss you around like that? Because if you are, you’re not the girl I thought you were.”
I looked up at Bradley and could tell he was at the end of his patience with the situation.
“Just let me talk to her,” I said, trying to keep him from blowing his stack.
His grip on my elbow tightened. “No. You’ve talked enough. It’s time to go home.” He pushed on me again, but I dug my heels in, refusing to move.
“Just let me talk to her for a second. Then I’ll go.” I owed the old woman that much. She was going to be hurt by all this too.
He let go of my arm and stood there, hulking over me like a dark, angry shadow. “So talk.”
I looked at the older woman. “I’m sorry, Grandma Lettie.” It took everything I had not to bawl.
“Don’t say sorry to me. Say sorry to the man whose heart you’re breaking behind you.”
I couldn’t look back. I just couldn’t.
“He’ll be fine,” I said, trying to convince myself as much as I was her. “Mack’s an amazing man with everything going for him.” I tried to smile, but my lips were trembling too much. “Now he doesn’t have to worry about a crazy wedding out in Vegas that made no sense anymore, so he can get on with his life.”
“Exactly,” Bradley chimed in. “Let’s go.”
When he tried to push me this time, I smacked him lightly on the arm. “Stop pushing me, would you? I’m not done talking yet.”
He put his hand on the back of my neck. He didn’t squeeze, but his threat was clear enough. He leaned down and spoke softly but menacingly in my ear. “The time for talking is over. Now get to the car.”
Grandma Lettie shook her head. “Poor girl. You are walking into the biggest mistake of your life. Why can’t you see that?”
“Grandma,” said Mack from behind me. “I think you’d better step aside.”
The minute the words penetrated the fog in my head, my heart collapsed in on itself. Pain like I’d never known before came rushing in to fill the empty spaces. Mack didn’t want me anymore, and he didn’t want his family trying to convince me to stay.
The crushing blow had been delivered, and it was everything I deserved. This is what people like me should get out of life. A life of happiness and wedded bliss is for other people, not me.
“If you say so, son.” Grandma Lettie stepped off to the side and disappeared from my view.
I took a step forward, guided by Bradley’s hand still on the back of my neck. I was fifteen again, being pushed into a back room b
y my mother’s boyfriend. He was going to teach me a lesson about life he said, about back-talking grown-ups and not doing what I was told. Not staying on plan. He undid his belt as he walked.
My shoulders heaved with the silent tears that poured out of me. My throat ached with the screams that I couldn’t give voice to. I imagined I knew in that moment what a person walking down death row must feel like, saying goodbye to the light of day and entering the prison of darkness, forever paying for sins committed.
“Andie?”
Mack’s voice rose above the din of the music and whispered conversations behind me.
I stopped but didn’t turn around.
“I think you’d better step aside too, babe.”
I stopped breathing for a full five seconds, my heartbeats slowing, slowing, slowing. The word babe was like a ray of light, penetrating the darkness that enshrouded me. A term of endearment so simple, but so full of meaning at the same time.
Bradley turned around, his hand falling away from my neck. “Don’t even think about it, cowboy.”
I heard footsteps in the dirt coming towards us, first slowly and then faster until they were running.
Bradley pushed me and I fell to my side on the ground. I was in the perfect position to see Mack make a flying tackle into Bradley, taking him down into a cloud of dirt.
Chapter Forty-Four
THE TWO MEN ROLLED AROUND in the dirt unencumbered, everyone making room for them to fight.
“What are you doing?!” I screamed as I scrambled out of the way, not sure which of them I was even talking to. Maybe it was the bloodthirsty crowd I was appealing to, but regardless, it didn’t matter. This fight was going to happen, and it was obvious no one was going to interfere.
“Stop! Okay, stop!” I got on my feet and held out my hands towards them, trying to see a way to get in between them.
Mack and Bradley completely ignored me, locked in an embrace that looked like a fighter’s waltz, each of them taking turns hitting each other in the gut.
Maeve was suddenly at my side, putting her arm around me. “Just let them work it out,” she said, pulling me back away from them.