The evening had passed uneventfully. I had made Sal stroganoff and she had managed to whip up a surprisingly delicious green salad. She seemed uneasy and not exactly up for company so I had not stayed long. I supposed she was still upset in the sudden change of her other neighbor.
A hand unconsciously rose to the back of my neck as it began to prickle. I wasn’t sure if it was actually warm to the touch but under my freezing hands it felt much hotter than the rest of my skin. The angels were calling.
I squeezed my eyes shut. Seven… eight…nine…
ten… The numbers started flowing before I even allowed the thoughts to process.
Without realizing, I had reached for the phone at my side I was staring at it intently. I wanted to dial the number I had already memorized but what was I going to say? I silently hoped Alex would call. The aching wish sat in the pit of my stomach like a festering ulcer.
Trying to distract myself, I reached for the envelope that I was half sitting on to keep from blowing away. I took a deep breath before tearing it open.
The letter was from my father. He said that he was doing fine and had just moved his orthodontic practice into a new building. My younger sister Amber was anxious for the last few months of her senior year to go by. She had a new boyfriend but this was the fourth one this school year so he didn’t expect it to last long. As usual, he said he missed me and wished I would come home. There was no mention of my mother. There was never any mention of her.
“Careful, it’s going to drip,” my mom said as she handed me an ice cream cone.
A cold trail of mint ice cream ran down my six-year-old hand. I licked it off, smiling at my mom, the gap in my teeth felt weird against my lips. I’d been proud of myself for having pulled the loose one out myself.
My mom smiled back before she turned her attention to Amber, whining to be let out of the stroller. She unbuckled her and my two-year-old sister ran toward the playground.
I watched as she climbed up to the slide. “Watch me, mommy!” she shouted from the top.
“I’m watching!” mom called to her, blocking the sun from her eyes with her hand.
Amber squealed and went down the slide head first.
My mom clapped as she reached the bottom. She looked back at me. “Do you want to go play with her?” I shook my head. “Not right now.”
We sat in the quiet for a minute, licking our quickly melting ice cream cones. Mom watched the other kids, the sound of happy screams coming from the public pool that was fenced off on the opposite side of the park.
“Are you sure you don’t want to take swimming lessons this year?” my mom asked as she looked back at me.
I shook my head, my pigtails flopping around my neck.
“How come?” she asked.
“I just don’t,” I said a little sharper than I had intended to.
Mom let it drop, running over to Amber to check her knees after she tripped.
I looked over to the pool, watched as two kids my age did a cannon ball into the water. I really did want to learn to swim. But I would never be able to put a swimming suit on. The scars on my back controlled my life.
I folded the letter and slid it back in the envelope. I hadn’t actually spoken to any of my family since I had run away four years ago. In a moment of weakness, I had written my father a letter a year ago, giving a return address to my post office box in Bellingham. I didn’t want him to come looking for me. If he could find me so could my mother and as soon as she did she would haul me off to the loony bin.
Anger welled up in me as I thought of her. I balled up the letter and let it fall to the ground. Mothers were supposed to be kind, loving, and understanding. Instead, mine was disappointed in, irritated with, and afraid of me.
A movement caught my eye and my head whipped around to find the source. I had sworn I just saw someone standing in the window of the new neighbors but it was dark and empty with no hint of life.
An odd sense of fear filled me as I waited for anything to move again. Darkness may have been the enemy of trying to stay awake but I had never been afraid of what might be hidden in it, other than the strange episode of me passing out. The sense of dread that filled me was foreign.
I quickly rose and walked back inside.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
I had just thrown a load of laundry in when I heard the screaming and shouting.
Panic rose in my blood as I knew in an instant where it was coming from. Without bothering to throw a jacket on and barely taking the time to slide on a pair of shoes, I hurtled out the door.
I heard a door slam shut as I came into view of Sal’s front door and barely glanced at the man that stood on her step as I sprinted up the steps.
“All I did was try and introduce myself!” the man hurriedly tried to explain as I tested the door knob. Of course it was locked.
“I swear I didn’t do anything!” he said, his voice raised and slightly panicked sounding.
“Sal?” I yelled. “Sal, it’s me, Jessica.”
I listened intently for any sounds within. Nothing.
“Sal? Are you alright?”
“Tell him to go away!” I heard her scream from just behind the door.
“Are you alright, Sal?” I demanded again.
“Tell him to go away!” she shrieked again.
“I didn’t do anything!” the man behind me insisted again.
“I know,” I said over my shoulder. “Sal, it’s ok.
Everything’s fine. Do you want me to come back later?”
“Both of you, go away!” she screamed, her voice sounding further away as if she had walked toward the back of the house.
Realizing there was nothing more I could do at the moment, I let out a frustrated sigh and turned from the door.
I could do nothing but stop and stare when I finally actually looked at the man that stood there. He was tall and lean with the body of one of those half naked Abercrombie models. His skin was tanned and absolutely flawless, his strong chin covered with dark stubble, as if he hadn’t shaved in two days. He looked to be around twenty-five. His hair fell slightly long and shaggy. It was dark and difficult to tell if it was black or simply a very dark brown. But it was the eyes that held my nearly open mouthed stare. The same dark color as his hair, like deep caverns beckoning me in to come and explore. The overall effect of his appearance was stunning. No one should be allowed to look that perfect. But as I stared at him, a strange sense of familiarity settled itself into the back of my mind.
“I promise I didn’t mean to frighten her,” his voice made me jump as the sound interrupted my thoughts. As if the rest of him wouldn’t have enough effect to stun me into a stupor, he also had to have a buttery British accent.
“Like I said, I just tried to introduce myself and she started screaming at me and telling me to get away.” My lips flapped open and shut a few times before I seemed to be able to make any sound come out. “She…
uh…Sal has a hard time…uh…trusting new people.” Wow, I sounded idiotic.
“I do hope she’s alright,” he said, a look of concern crossing his face as he looked back at her door.
“She’ll be ok,” I said as my brain started to recover.
“Sal’s just a little…different.”
This seemed to satisfy him enough as he nodded his head. “I’m Cole Emerson, by the way,” he said as he stepped forward to shake my hand. “I moved in yesterday.”
The hand I grasped felt just as perfectly flawless as his face looked. A small shiver worked itself up my spine.
“Jessica,” I managed to get out. “Jessica Bailey.”
“Pleased to meet you Jessica,” he said with a dazzling smile. I stopped breathing for several long seconds as he raised my hand and pressed his lips to it for the briefest moment before releasing it.
“So you must live on the other side of, did you say her name was Sal?” he questioned as he stuffed his hands into rather expensive looking jeans.
“Ya, Sal.
Well, it’s Sally Thomas but she doesn’t like to be called Sally usually. And yes, I care take the house on the other side of her.”
Cole flashed another brilliant smile as he nodded.
He seemed to be gauging me for a moment, almost as if he was looking for some sort of reaction he wasn’t getting. “Would you like to come over for a bit? Can I offer you something to drink?”
Again I struggled for words and coherency. “Uh…
sure.”
“Fantastic,” he said as he flashed that smile again and motioned for me to follow him toward the house.
I didn’t mean to but I couldn’t help but stare again at the way Cole walked. I had never seen anyone move so gracefully, almost as if he were walking on sheets of glass and was being very gentle to not crack it. And yet I had never seen anyone so graceful look so masculine or confident in the way he moved.
“You coming?” he called after he had walked a few steps away and I still had not moved. A different kind of smile crossed his face as if that reaction he had been looking for had now crossed my face. I could only nod and shuffle forward.
The house Cole had just bought was even newer than Sal’s. That was part of the reason it seemed so strange Henry had sold it. He and his wife built it just four years ago. It seemed fantastically modern for a couple of their age. Sadly his wife had contracted breast cancer just months after it was completed and passed away a year later.
Cole opened the door wide and let me in. I had expected to see boxes stacked in every corner and to see furniture scattered about, not quite into their permanent place. To my surprise Cole’s home looked as if he’d lived in the house for months, not less than twenty-four hours.
Everything was neatly in its place, the couches and tables looking perfectly natural in their positions. And everything looked absolutely brand new and untouched.
“Wow,” I breathed as I took it in. “You sure didn’t waste any time in settling in.”
He let out a lighthearted chuckle as he walked into the immaculate gourmet kitchen. “I did have a bit of help,” he
said as he opened the refrigerator.
I then remembered all the men that were moving things in and out all day. I had a hard time imagining all those gruff guys had helped him place everything in such perfect order though.
“Coffee?” he called as he turned to a pot on the counter.
“Um…” I scrambled, not wanting to sound rude.
“I’ll pass.”
“I’ve got some juice if you’d like that instead,” he said, turning those eyes on me again.
My breath caught in my throat for a second as my eyes met his. “Juice would be great.”
He smoothly poured me a glass before pouring himself a large mug of the coffee. I noticed he left it completely black, ignoring any sugar or cream. He handed me the glass and sat at the large cherry wood table.
“Will you apologize to Sal for me?” he started. “I feel terrible for frightening her like that.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I answered, glad my vocal chords seemed to have finally recovered. “She’ll be fine.”
Cole only smiled and nodded.
“So where did you move from?” I blurted out, instantly realizing it was a stupid question. The accent should give that away. I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks.
“Well,” he said as he sat forward, resting his elbows on the table. “I grew up on a small town in England, I’d tell you the name but I’m quite sure you won’t have heard of it.” He said this with one of his blinding smiles. “I’ve been helping in the family business all my life and decided it was
time to get out on my own and see a bit more of the world.”
“And what is the family business?” I asked, sounding incredibly awkward.
“Real estate,” he said with a slight smile. “My family owns quite a bit of land.” I could tell he was done explaining, leaving it at that. From his tone I got the impression Cole had money, rather unlimited amounts of it would have been my guess. He wasn’t going to try and flaunt it however.
“So tell me where you are from, Jessica,” he said, blinding me with that smile again.
It took me a moment before I could speak, that smile should be illegal.
“I’m afraid it’s going to bore you,” I said with an uneasy chuckle. “I was born in and grew up in a tiny town in Idaho. I don’t think the population has yet broken 1500.”
“It seems tiny was the appropriate description,” he said with a chuckle as smooth as honey.
“You have no idea,” I said with a sigh. “Anyway, I moved to California for a while and then moved up here.
There’s not much to tell,” I said. At least not much I could tell him without him thinking I was crazy.
“I’m sure there are many more interesting things that have happened in your life,” he said with a slightly sly smile tugging in the corner of his mouth. “Everyone has an interesting story to tell.”
I couldn’t help but feel momentarily uncomfortable under his intense eyes but it was soon washed away by his smile. I self-consciously brought my glass to my lips and took a long draw.
“That is a very beautiful bracelet you have there,” he
said as he reached for my hand and examined it. “Rather expensive, I’m sure. It must have been given by someone who cares a great deal for you.”
I had to admit that I had almost forgotten the delicate thing that wound around my wrist. Was I imagining the look of anger that crossed Cole’s face for the briefest moment?
“Um…” I struggled, unsure of how to answer his unstated question. “A friend gave it to me?” I hadn’t meant it to come out as a question but I wasn’t sure of what exactly to call Alex.
“You don’t sound too sure about that,” he said as he dropped my hand, his gaze intense again.
“It’s kind of a weird situation. Complicated I guess.”
“Uh-huh,” he said, encouraging me to continue.
I wondered briefly why it seemed so important to him but couldn’t help but feel a little flattered that he seemed interested in this matter.
“I told you how I house keep the home next to Sal’s.
Alex is the grandson of the owners and they just died. He came to the house the other day in the middle of the night and scared the crap out of me.” I paused there, unsure of how to continue.
“And this guy that just showed up on your doorstep just decided to give you this ten-thousand dollar bracelet?” Cole pressed doubtfully.
“Like I said, it’s complicated,” I said shyly, suddenly wanting very badly to not have to try and explain the relationship between Alex and I. I still had no idea what he was thinking after my revelation of the truth and I especially did not want to think about what my feelings still were for him in the presence of the most magnificent male specimen I had ever lain eyes upon.
“Not trying to buy something out of you, is he?”
“No!” I nearly shouted. “It’s nothing like that at all.”
Cole looked at me for another intense moment.
“Are you sure you don’t want some coffee?” He took me off guard with his sudden change in conversation. “You look tired.”
My eyes dropped to my lap and I let some of my hair fall into my face. “No, thank you. I’m fine.”
“You sure? To be honest it looks like you haven’t slept in days.”
At first I thought he was intentionally being rude but when I looked up I could see what looked like genuine concern in his eyes. I silently calculated in my head just exactly how long it had been since I had slept and realized it had been the night Alex had heard me screaming and later held me in his arms. A sudden pang of longing struck me in the chest.
“I should probably get going,” I said as I glanced at the clock that hung over the kitchen sink. Shock crossed my face as I realized I had been there for nearly an hour and it was already nine. I had barely noticed that darkness had blanketed the earth. “I didn’t realize how l
ate it was getting.”
“You’re welcome to stay,” Cole said, and from reading his expression I could tell he meant it.
“Thank you,” I said as I stood and pushed my chair under the table. “But it really is late.”
I thought I heard him sigh slightly but he stood and carried both the cups to the sink, dumping them both, his was still completely full. I didn’t think he had even touched it. “Alright. I’ll see you later then?” I nodded stiffly. “Thank you for the drink.”
“Anytime.”
Without waiting for any more response I walked to and out the door.
I wasn’t exactly sure why I had felt such a sudden need to leave and go home. I hadn’t exactly liked the way the direction of our conversation had turned I suppose. I did, however, feel terrible for how rude I had been at my departure.
When I made it back through the door, I saw the answering machine flashing. That seemed strange; no one really knew my number. I figured it was probably just a solicitation but pressed the play button anyway.
I immediately understood why I wanted to leave when I heard the recorded voice.
“Hi Jessica. It’s Alex. Um… I just wanted to call and make sure everything was ok. I checked the weather report for up there and it’s supposed to be clear until Saturday, there’s a chance of snow again.” He chuckled a little here. “I sound pathetic, giving you the weather report on the answering machine.
“Anyway, give me a call, if you want. Um…take care of yourself. Tell Sal I said hi. Talk to you later.” I realized when the message was finished playing a comically huge grin was plastered on my face. I couldn’t bring myself to feel pathetic however, I felt too good inside. It was amazing how just hearing the sound of his voice could calm and reassure me so completely. Perhaps all was not as lost as I had feared before.