“My name’s Kennedy,” she says sweetly, fiddling with my hair.
“I know,” I answer. I can’t help but smile. “You’re beautiful.”
She sighs. “So are you. Do you want to play with me?”
I chuckle.
“Ken, Amethyst just got here, I’m sure she’s tired, baby,” Maddox interrupts us.
My gaze darts over her shoulder and lands on Maddox. He looks like he’s struggling with something internally, I’ll leave that for now. “No,” I shake my head. “I want to!” I pat her arm and stand, looking over my shoulder at Travis. “You’ll be okay for a while. They don’t bite.” I gesture to my family.
Travis dips his head in greeting.
“I mean… don’t I?” Maddox adds through a chuckle.
I glare at him, but he regards me with a grin. Winking at me, he ambles past and heads for Travis. “Chill, Rosé, you know how I like to play…”
Shit. I need to tell him that Travis doesn’t know about him and I. People have always said how if you put Maddox and I in the same room together, the universe feels as though it stops. We had that undeniable pull toward each other. When we were together, it was our world, everyone else merely existed in it. I hope they were all wrong.
I touch my hair and notice Kennedy had done a crooked side plait. I take her hand. “Come on then.”
I’m getting dragged away when I pass Elliot. I quickly wave to him and let the little minion do her worst.
“I like makeup,” Kennedy says, brushing—I lost count how many layers of blush on my cheeks.
“I see that.”
“But I also like fast cars.”
I grin. “It’s okay to be a little bit of both.”
We’re in her room, well the one she has when she stays here. It’s pink and blue, just like my walls when I was a kid. The feelings I have for this little girl are already indescribable. I thought I’d be a nervous wreck meeting her for the first time, but I have nothing but love.
“My mom says that I shouldn’t like boy stuff.”
I hated her before, now I hate her more. “Well, you should always listen to your mom, but in this case, I would say not to. You should never change who you are inside for anyone. Not even your mom.” And she’s going to hate me too now. If she didn’t already.
We spend the rest of the day together. Going from makeup, to dress ups, to sneaking into my mom’s chocolate stash she keeps under her bed. Kennedy found that super resourceful.
We’re snuggled under the covers of my bed with the Grand Prix playing on the television when the door opens, revealing Maddox.
“Shhh,” I push my finger to my lips. “She’s asleep.”
Maddox enters the room farther, his eyes going from her to me. He leans on the edge of the bed.
“She had a bath and got changed. She wanted to sleep with me tonight, but I said we could have a sleepover the last night I’m here.”
Maddox shakes his head in amazement. “She doesn’t like anyone.”
I chuckle, slipping my arm out from under her. I wiggle the pins and needles loose. “Well, that’s another thing we have in common.”
“I see she had fun with you…” He gestures to my hair and face.
I snort. “Yeah, I forgot about that. I better have a shower.” I want to get away for a second. Since being home, it’s Maddox everywhere. I’ve gone from not seeing him in almost two years, to seeing him a whole lot more. It’s hard being around him and not being able to be around him. I’m struggling already, and I shouldn’t be because I’m with Travis. Travis, my boyfriend who I haven’t even thought about for the entire day because I’ve been causing havoc with my tiny raven-haired princess.
I’m reaching the bedroom door when Maddox says, “Thanks, Rosé.”
I throw up deuces on my way out, ignoring the stabbing pain in my heart.
AMETHYST
“I’m a little afraid for this bachelor party,” Tiffany says, pushing her tits up farther while checking herself out in the mirror. I hadn’t met Tiffany before today. She’s apparently Leila’s new BFF and a bridesmaid, along with Liza and me. Not sure I like her.
“You should be,” I tsk, tipping back my drink. We all separated this morning. The guys getting a hotel on one side of New York, and us on the other. Fitting.
Leila brushes us off. “Nonsense. It’s going to be great.”
Liza’s eyes come to mine and widen. I chuckle. “Sure, sure.”
Tiffany comes off as somewhat superficial. Not to be judgmental or anything, but when I met her this morning, I noticed the up and down look she gave me when Leila introduced us, and the fake smile she put on instantly after. Leila has a habit of making shitty friends. No doubt Tiffany is one of them. Straight long white hair and bright red lips, I didn’t say she was unattractive, she’s just. Fake.
Liza glides the wand of her lip gloss over her lips, looking at me in the mirror. I was ready before all of them, my hair took the longest because it’s so long, but as far as foundation and contouring went, I didn’t. Tinted moisturizer, eyeliner, mascara and smoky eyeshadow with bare lips was me tonight. I wave my hair out, but it still hangs to my tailbone. It is getting extremely long.
I pour some vodka in my glass and take a sip.
“You sure you should be doing vodka tonight?” Liza asks with a quirked eyebrow.
I chuckle. “Yes. Even more so.”
“Aw, sweetie, can’t you handle your alcohol?” Tiffany says, turning to face me with a hand on her hip.
I blink at Leila, counting to two in my head.
Leila laughs, waving me down. “Calm down, B.” She winks at me and then scowls at Tiffany. “Amethyst can more than handle herself.”
The limo pulls up outside our hotel and Rocky gets out, opening our door. “Hello, ladies.”
Leila squeezes his cheeks before sliding in. I’m last.
I pat his cheek and tap his chest. “I promise to behave tonight.”
He rolls his eyes and winks. He knows me well too.
The music is blaring with some old school 50 Cent and the girls are laughing. We pull into the first nightclub. Getting out, we make our way to the bouncers who instantly let us in. With a moaning line of thirsty women, and I don’t mean for a drink, Leila flips them all off and we shuffle in behind her. Diva.
I’m a lot of drinks in when I draw Leila away from Tiffany and Liza. Liza glares at me as we leave her there to a chatty Tiffany in a private booth.
Leila and I start grinding against each other and dirty dancing to “Do You Mind” from Khalid and Nicki Minaj. I stand up onto the stage the DJ booth is on and grip onto one of the poles. My attention aimlessly drifts to one of the small TVs in the bar and I see Maddox on the screen during a fight. I still. The advert that is playing is promoting his upcoming fight. Fuck.
The room starts spinning and all the faces in the crowd turn to a smudge of oil paint. I grind against the pole to the song.
I’m drunk.
For sure.
It feels good. God, why’d Leila have to get married.
I grip around the pole and twirl.
Why did my mom have to stay with Elliot.
My leg wraps around the pole.
Why did I have to still be in love with Maddox.
I roll my body off the pole.
Why—I’m tossed over a set of hard shoulders. Shoulders that are pressing into my belly.
My stomach hurls and I close my eyes, trying to ignore the juggling of movement.
“Put me down,” I murmur, but my voice is drowned out by the music. Shit.
Finally, I’m swung down to my feet. Maddox is glaring at me. “You’re getting me jealous, sit your ass down.”
I gulp, taking a seat beside Leila in the booth.
“Um, why are you guys here?” Tiffany laughs. “You’re not supposed to be here.”
Leila and Liza both roll their eyes.
I snort. “They’re Stone brothers.” I cut my glare at Tiffany. “Like hell
would Wolf allow his bride-to-be unleashed without him.” I think I’m going to puke. My hand goes to my mouth.
Tiffany’s eyebrow raises. “Hmmm, my kind of men…”
“Well, they’re all taken!” I snap before I can stop myself. “Goddamnit. Fucking vodka.”
There’s chuckling around the table, but my eyes go to a now smug looking Maddox. “That right, Rosé?”
Yes, goddamnit. You’re mine. That’s what I want to say, but I don’t. Thankfully.
I can almost feel Tiffany sneering at me.
“Had a bit too much vodka, huh, baby sis?” Talon grins at me from beside Liza. The flashing strobe lights are hitting the wooden booth chairs recklessly, it’s making my head spin a little.
I nod like a child. I hate drunk Amethyst.
“Give her some water, Lei, we don’t want another trip to the hospital…” Talon waves his hand toward me casually.
“I’m fine…”
Maddox’s head snaps to Talon. “What?”
“You said those exact words about thirty minutes before you were ass deep in nurses.” Talon glares at me.
“What the fuck happened?” Maddox leans forward, looking at Talon.
Silence, aside from Pretty Ricky’s “Get You Right” banging softly through the sound system. A little weird for club music, they must be getting ready to close.
I stare at Maddox, who is already blatantly glaring at me, and now he looks pissed.
“For fuck’s sake, Maddox!” I snap. “Why is it every time I look at you, you look like you’re either going to rip my head or my clothes off!”
He tilts his head, his fist clenching on the table. “Because those are the two things I always want to do to you, Amethyst! Like fucking clockwork.”
“Then fucking do it already!”
Oops. Wait, do what?
“Get up.” He pulls me up by my hand.
“Ah, guys, as much as I had money on you both lasting shorter than this to finally start this whole push and pull thing again, need I remind both of you that Amethyst is taken?”
I rip my hand out of his. “And you’re married!” Oops. Did I yell? Why’d the music change.
Maddox wraps his hand around my chin and squeezes, pulling my face close to his. “Was married.”
“Ah.” Too late, I’m being dragged out of the booth by the angry caveman as we duck and weave between the sea of sweaty corpses. Gross. Hitting the outside, Maddox has his hand in mine, our fingers intertwined together. He fist-punches a couple of the bouncers, tugging me under his arm. I don’t pull away. I should. Vodka.
We start walking down the empty street when he finishes talking with the bouncer, heading toward God knows where. When the club is out of sight and it’s just our breathing filling the space between us, he squeezes my hand.
“I can’t do this with you again, Maddox.” I can’t breathe, everything is now moving in slow motion.
He stops and turns me to face him, his arm hooking around my waist and pulling me into his body. “Do what?”
I swallow. “This.”
“Oh, you mean this?” He leans down until his lips touch mine.
“Maddox,” I whisper hoarsely through a choked breath.
“That’s my name, baby, but I preferred it when you were screaming it from my bed.”
My thighs clench.
He chuckles and then licks my lower lip. He goes to step back, but before I can stop myself, I lean up on tippy toes, reaching behind his neck and pulling his lips to mine. He stills, probably in shock, and then growls into my mouth and picks me up from the back of my thighs. I wrap them around him. He leads us into a dark alley, his fist buried in my hair. Smashing me against the cold brick wall, I moan. He licks the space between my boobs and tears down one part of my strapless top, popping my nipple into his mouth. I grind against him. He pulls his jeans down slightly, his thumb pressing against my clit on his way up. He tugs my panties to the side, brings his fingers up to his mouth, his eyes staying on mine, and then sucks me off his finger.
He grins. “Mine.”
I force my lips back to his and suck his bottom one into my mouth.
He pauses, his breathing so deep his chest rises and falls, pressing against mine with every second. He searches my eyes again. “There have been fucking countless times I’ve pictured this going down, all times with my dick in my hand.” He growls again. “But, baby, I’m going to fucking ruin you right now. Remember when I said that I loved you?” He leans down to the side of my neck and bites my ear. “Hmm? Remember those times I told you I loved you, Amethyst? Answer me, baby.”
I swallow. “Yes.”
“Think of that for the next few minutes, because I’m about to fuck you like I hate you.”
He pushes inside of me and my eyes roll to the back of my head. His hand comes to the front of my throat. He squeezes roughly, pounding into me. The grit from the brick wall is grazing against my back, but I feel nothing. Nothing but his invasion inside of me. It’s not long until his lips come to mine, his tongue slipping into my mouth as both of us come undone.
He lowers me to the ground, both of us panting. I fix my top and hair, and then turn and walk away from him.
“Amethyst!” he calls out, chasing me down the street. I’m swiping angry tears away from my eyes when he finally reaches me. His hand comes to mine, but I pull away, glaring at him.
“Why!” I scream, hitting his chest. “Why the fuck me? You ruined me, Maddox! You left me! For her!”
“For Kennedy, Amethyst! Fuck!” He pulls at his hair. I kick my shoes off. Stupid fucking heels. Whose idea was it to wear these stupid fucking things. I start running.
“You and I both know you won’t run for long, baby,” Maddox yells out.
Bastard.
I start huffing not even ten seconds in.
“Asshole.” I slow to a very fast walk. He catches up again, his hand coming to mine.
“Wanna talk about it?” he asks, his thumb tracing circles around mine.
“No, I don’t. I have a boyfriend—”
“—who is a fucking piece of shit.”
I glare at him. “You don’t know him!”
Maddox snorts. “Don’t have to know people to figure out they’re a fucking piece of shit, Amethyst. Some people don’t hide their dirty fucking flaws, they air them out for the world to see—that’s how shitty they are!”
“And you?” I ask, suddenly tired from the fucking and the fighting. “Where do you sit on the spectrum, Maddox.”
“I sit right wherever the fuck you are.”
He pulls out his phone and punches in some digits. “Stop here, I’ll get Rocky to come.”
I stop because I’m tired. And hungry. He leads me to a bench and I sit beside him, watching the branches on the trees that are lined down the street sway with the wind.
“I loved you.”
“Love…” he corrects.
I pause.
He continues, “You’re a lot of things, Amethyst, but you’re not a liar, so do you want to prove me wrong and lie right now?”
His fingers interlace with mine. I draw in a breath. I smell of him, all over my clothes, on my skin. Inside me… he’s everywhere physically now, not just in my head, not just somewhere where I can hide him.
“Love.” I yank away from him and rest my face in my hands, knees to elbows. “God, Maddox! I couldn’t survive you a second time!” I turn to face him. He’s looking forward, his jaw doing that tick-tock thing. It’s like a count-down timer to how quickly he’s going to lose his shit.
I have about three seconds.
“We’ll speak about your little vodka and hospital trip later.”
I roll my eyes.
“Don’t fucking roll your eyes at me, Amethyst, or I’ll fuck you so hard you’ll question your need to live.”
I sigh like a scolded teen. “You know what—” The limo pulls up and I stand. “Finally!”
I get into the back seat, my arms crossing. “Your
s or mine?” Maddox asks, like he already knows.
“Yours, but food first.”
AMETHYST
White. The walls are all white. I hate white. Why do hotels use white? It’s probably the worst color you could choose with how high maintenance it would be. How many fucking times would they need to do repaints? My head hurts. I moan, crawling out of bed but trying to not wake Maddox.
I go to the kitchen and busy myself with coffee, waiting for the guilt to hit me. I hate cheating, hate it, but why don’t I feel guilty? I’d never in my life cheat on Maddox and I can say that with one hundred percent certainty. I’d rather tear off my arm than ever cheat on Maddox, so is the saying really true about leopards never changing their spots? I’m thinking it more has to do with who’s worth changing them for.
I’m a slut.
Oh God.
I massage my temples. “Fuck me.”
Maddox hooks his arm around my waist. “If you’re offering and all that good shit, then...”
He kisses my head with a chuckle and goes to the fridge. I look up at him, glaring from under my eyelashes. “Why don’t I feel like a bad human right now?”
He flips the lid off the milk and brings the rim to his mouth, his eyes staying on mine. He lowers it and I watch as his tongue comes out and licks the white from his upper lip.
Is it hot in here or what?
His hair is messy but still short. His eyes piercing, his muscles. Oh God, his muscles.
Abort.
Focus.
“Seriously, Maddox…”
He drops the milk carton to the counter, his triceps twitching with the movement. “Because you’ve always been mine, Amethyst. If anything, you’ve been cheating on me with him.”
I freeze. “Fuck you. You got married!”
He flinches slightly, but before I can overanalyze his reply, it’s gone and he has his cocky smirk back on his face. “Whatevz, baby. You know why I did it, my brothers know, hell, fucking Leila knows! It’s you that still needs to figure it out.”
I wince. “Kennedy is beautiful. Tell me about her.”
He puts a couple bagels into the toaster and leans against the counter. I watch as his face lights up. “She’s perfect. I can’t believe I helped create her.” He turns to take the bagels out and tosses them onto a couple plates.