I grin, blowing on my coffee. “And you and her mom?”
I had to fake that smile.
He shakes his head. “A mess. Nothing was ever there, but we gave it a good run, for Kennedy.”
“And now?”
He stares at me. “Now, we remain good friends for Ken.”
I nod, placing my mug on the counter. “I don’t know what to do…”
He hands me my bagel. “Simple,” he bites into his and smirks. “Choose me.”
I lick my lips. “I do, Maddox,” I exhale, raking my fingers through my hair. “No question, I’d always choose you.”
“Then what’s the issue?” he asks.
I pause and mentally try to grasp something. Anything. Mental list. I’ll make a mental list.
Maddox: 100
Travis: 5
I groan. “I just…”
“Give me today. Give me today, and by the end of it, if you tell me no, I’ll walk away from you forever and you’ll never see me again.”
I wince from the physical pain those words give me, my chest tightening. That should be my first clue that I’ll never be able to walk away from him, but my hand comes to my chest and I exhale. “Fine.”
We finish breakfast, and both get ready for the day. After our long shower, I flip my phone onto airplane mode after sending a quick text to Travis and another to Leila. I lied to Travis, but not to Leila. She’s shit at keeping everyone’s secrets, but she always keeps mine. Travis has been staying at the house, probably occupied by Mom, whereas the girls will still be at the hotel.
Pushing my phone into my back pocket, Maddox comes out of the bathroom after brushing his teeth. “You ready?”
I tug at the edge of my leather jacket. “Yes.” Thank God Rocky went and rescued my bags from our hotel this morning, or I would have been screwed.
AMETHYST
We start at Krispy Kreme. He orders me a tiramisu and gets his cinnamon sugar one, then we get coffee and make our way toward the beach. After the beach, we head to the skate park and make stupid jokes about how much we’d changed since the last time we sat at that same halfpipe. The sun is going down and the air has a soft breeze to it. He pulls me under his arm and leads me back to the limo.
Kissing my head, he exhales. “Always loved you and always will.”
I warm at those words. They’re like drinking a hot caramel latte in the middle of a blizzard during a twenty-day sugar fast. He opens the door and I slide in. He gets in behind me and I wriggle back under his arm.
“I don’t want this to end.”
“It doesn’t have to,” he answers, kissing my head. “Just say the word, baby, and it’s done.”
“I—” I pause. Shit.
“I want to take you to one more place.” His eyes catch Rocky’s in the rearview mirror, then he nods gently.
“Ok,” I say, mostly because I really don’t want this day to end. I want to bottle it up and take it with me everywhere I go.
We drive into the country more, on the outskirts of the city. The car pulls off into a shoulder on a long stretch of road. “Where are we?”
Maddox’s eyes drift out the window behind me. I turn to see where he’s looking, and I know instantly where he has taken me.
The crash site.
He gets out of the car from my side and I take a couple deep breaths before following. Cars are zipping past at crazy speeds, my hair flying up from the force. I tuck some strands behind my ear.
“This is the first time I’ve come here.”
I lean into him until his arm comes behind me. “Why’d you choose now?”
He kisses my forehead. “Because if I never see you again after today, I won’t ever want to do this with anyone else, not even alone.”
I swallow. We stand there for a few seconds, and I study the white cross that is implanted into the grass.
“She would have loved you.”
“I think I would have loved her too,” I reply, leaning my head against him.
We stay for around thirty minutes before getting back into the car. We were almost back at our parents’ house when I turn to face Maddox.
I know what I need to do. There’s no way I can walk away from him—ever. I never want to and I never could. There’s no point wasting Travis’s time when I want Maddox. How is that fair to anyone? Travis may be an ass, but that doesn’t mean my principles have to lower.
I search his eyes and lick my lips. “I want you.”
He glares at me. “I know. Now get rid of that fool.”
My stomach turns in excitement. We’re doing this, finally. Finally, Maddox and I are going to be together.
Maddox kisses me again. “Now, baby. I’m done with this shit.”
I slip out of the car and head into the house. Everything moves in slow motion. Travis stands from the sofa in the sitting room when I enter.
Guilt tickles my belly, but not because I regret the day and night I spent with Maddox, but because I have a heart.
Travis smiles, but then his smile drops when his eyes go over my shoulder.
“I knew it,” he whispers, but it was in disbelief. “I fucking knew it!” He roars and launches toward Maddox. Maddox dodges him, and Travis falls to the ground.
“I just stole back what was mine, don’t make me beat your ass too.”
Travis gets back up, but Elliot comes in, grabbing his shoulder. “You don’t want to do that, kid.”
“I’m…” I turn to face Travis, my throat swollen. The fireplace flickers in the distance and suddenly I’m cold. I wrap my arms around myself. “Sorry.” I blink a few times. “I’m sorry, Travis. I should have ended things a long time ago. You deserved that.”
He stands from the ground, and just when I think he’s going to yell at me, he scoffs and leaves.
“I’m a terrible human,” I whisper, swiping the tears from my cheeks.
Maddox comes to me and takes me into his arms. “No, you’re not, baby.”
My mom comes in singing, “Who wants margaritas?” Her smile falls when she sees the seriousness in the room and Maddox and I wrapped up in each other.
Leila clears her throat. “Actually, I could do with one…”
“Me too,” Liza adds.
The wedding is in two days. We have been here for twenty-four hours and already, Maddox and I had flipped each other’s world around. I’m just glad Kennedy is asleep.
AMETHYST
We stayed in separate rooms for Kennedy, because we didn’t want to confuse her with anything. Maddox and I both said we’d break her in, even though I’m sure she’d have no arguments about it, but I respected his decision as a father. Shit. Does that mean that I’m a stepmother?
I gulp.
The guys have left again, and the wedding is tomorrow. The atmosphere is electrified with love. I’ve thrown myself into the chaos to get my mind off Travis. There are sprouting flowers all over the house, all red and black. Even though the wedding isn’t going to be here, Lei still wanted the theme to take over every inch of every single place where we were.
We are sipping cocktails in the bathroom, dressed in fluffy robes and rose plaited headbands and eating chocolate, talking about the wedding tomorrow and how much things have changed. I put my glass down.
“I need to pee.”
I untie my gown and take a seat on the bowl. “You know,” I laugh. “I wouldn’t mind becoming an aunty. Kennedy has made me fall in love with kids. Though, she’s a pretty special kid…”
Kids.
Babies.
Sex.
I look down at my panties and frown.
“Fuck. That, no. We’ve already decided we don’t want kids.”
She swipes black lipstick over her lips.
Her voice dies out.
My blood turns to slush. “Lei...”
“What?” she asks around her glass, turning to face me.
“The d—date…” I search the ground. “No. No way. Not possible.” My eyes go to her.
“Ame, what the hell are you talking about?” She puts her hand on her hip. “What’s wrong?”
Tears fall down my cheek and I scrunch my face up. “I’m late.”
She straightens and then looks down to my panties. “Ok—oh! Fuck!” Her hand flies up to her mouth. “Wait!” She runs out of the room and I spend the next five minutes dying a few hundred times.
She comes back in and pulls out a small box from under her robe, like it’s a drug transaction. “I had to get one the other day, but I got my period, so I didn’t need it. I swear, we’re in synch. I was five weeks late, but it turns out stress and all that shit play a major factor in how your bo—”
I snatch the box and tear it open.
“Give me your wine.” I gesture to the wine. Reckless because of the potential of being pregnant, but I can’t say that I’m feeling very maternal right now to care.
She hands it to me. I drink it in a beat and then order her to get the bottle. She comes back in a few seconds later with a bottle of Moët and shoves it into my chest. I wrap my lips around the rim and drink while praying for the first time in my life.
Oh God.
Oh God.
This can’t be… I’m on the pill. I take that shit religiously. I’m not a stupid girl, I make sure I’m on my shit.
I piss on the white stick, and then pull my panties up and wrap myself back into my robe, washing my hands. Have I washed my hands? I don’t know. Maybe I need to do it again just to be sure.
“Chill, Amethyst.”
I viciously rub my hands on a hand towel and then flip the stick.
Pregnant
My knees shake and my lip quivers. “No…” I shake my head and throw the stick at Leila like it’s infected. I clutch my stomach. “No!”
“Shit,” Leila cusses, her hand going to her forehead. “Shit. It’s okay, we will sort this. Okay?”
“Not okay, how is this possible? I’m on the pill!”
“I don’t know, maybe it’s wrong?”
I search the ground. “I’m so sorry, Lei. I’m being so selfish.” I feel sick. Turning, I empty the contents in my stomach into the toilet and wipe away the residue. “I have to tell Maddox…”
“Tell Maddox—what?” Maddox is standing there, leaning against the doorframe. He looks so happy and at ease. Finally, we were going to do this. Now, I feel like I’ve been kicked off the cliff of sanity.
Leila gives me an apologetic smile and squeezes my hand. “I’ll be here, in the room.”
She carefully walks past Maddox and he steps in, closing the door behind himself. I open my mouth, but his eyes land on the box on the floor, then the empty bottles of wine, and then the stick on the counter with the instruction manual spread out. He steps in farther and picks up the stick.
He stills, his face turning to marble. Throwing the stick, he launches his fist into the mirror and it shatters into millions of sharp little shards. I scream, wincing. He flies out of the room.
“Maddox!” I yell, attempting to chase after him.
“What is going on?” Mom asks as I fly down the stairs behind him.
He’s already out the door and in his car before I drop to a heap of mess on my knees.
MADDOX
Rage.
Pure undiluted rage pulses through my veins like adrenaline I’ve never felt before. She’s carrying his baby. That should be my fucking baby. I clutch at my hair and floor it toward the hotel I know Travis checked into. I know because I followed him to make sure he wouldn’t be an issue. Now, he’s a big fucking issue.
I pull up to the front of the hotel and don’t even bother to park or get the valet. My face is known everywhere, they’ll park it for me. I fly into the lobby and hit the button for his level. The elevator takes me up, the smooth piano doing nothing to calm my beast. The doors ding open and I run down the foyer, shoulder barging past a young family. Reaching his door, I kick it down and it smashes open, showing Travis on his phone already. His eyes come to mine.
“Too late, he’s here.” Was that her? Did she fucking warn him like she fucking gives a fuck?
I’ll kill him.
“Explain, right fucking now.”
He pushes his phone into his pocket, his hands shaking. He was scared. I laugh. Good.
“I love her.”
I step closer. “Careful…”
He grins. “Now I’ve given her something of me, and you and I both know Amethyst…” He tilts his head. This motherfucker has a death wish. “She’s a family girl with family morals.”
I couldn’t stop. My fist connects with his face and he falls to the ground. “You fucking—”
“Stop!” Amethyst screams from the doorway. “Please, stop!”
I hover over Travis, fist in the air.
“Get off him, Maddox…”
I don’t fucking want to.
“Please, Maddox…” She uses her gentle voice. She knows her softness is the only thing that can calm my beast. I instantly climb off him, but not without kicking him in the process.
He laughs, blood covering his teeth and lips.
“Step away, Maddox,” she whispers.
I go to the other side of the room, because she’s right. I’d flat out kill this fool if he says anything dumb.
She looks back to Travis. “How?”
He pulls out a smoke and lights up, looking up to the ceiling. “How do you think? I mean, there were a lot—”
“—I’d be very fucking careful, princess…” I sneer at him. Fucking pretty boy.
He blows out a thick cloud of smoke.
“I was on the pill, Travis. I took it religiously.”
He beams at her. “I love you, I want to marry you! I have the ring and everything. I was planning to ask you after the wedding…” He pauses, and I watch as her eyes close. “I’ve been switching your pills for a couple months now.”
Her eyes fly open. “You what?”
“You fucking what?” My shoulders straighten, and I take steps toward him. Amethyst throws her hand out to stop me, but I slap it away, inspecting the piece of shit on the ground. “I’ll fucking kill you,” I growl.
“Maddox!” Amethyst pleads.
“Fuck off, Ame.”
I launch toward him again, but four sets of hands are pulling me back now. Talon and Wolf.
“I’ll kill you motherfucker!” I yell, wanting to tear his skin from his bones and send it to every fucking person who loved this stupid fuck.
“What will Ken do if you’re in jail, dickface?” Talon says, shoving me against the wall.
I calm enough to look at Amethyst over Talon’s shoulder.
She was looking at him. Appalled? With something else. Hatred? Commitment? Fuck.
“Ame…” I say, needing her attention.
Eyes on me, baby. “I’ll take care of you and that baby. Raise it like it’s my own.”
Come on.
She doesn’t look at me.
Her focus staying on Travis.
“Baby…” I whisper.
Her eyes close and tears flood her cheeks. I already know what she’s going to say before she says it.
“Take him home, T. I need to stay here until I figure some shit out.”
I launch my fist into the wall. Talon and Wolf both drag me out of the room, my shirt ripping off in the process.
“Let her go, brother, just let her go.” Talon squeezes me in a hug.
“I can’t…”
“Try,” Wolf says. “Just fucking try, bro…”
I calm my heaving, staring at the now closed door. I clench my jaw then shove away from them, pulling my phone out of my back pocket as I make my way back to the elevator.
The doors open and I step inside, not bothering to see if Talon and Wolf are following.
Opening up a new text message, I swipe the sweat off my cheek with the back of my hand and text Tiffany.
Me: You’re coming to the wedding with me tomorrow.
Everything inside of me has snapp
ed. Yeah, I may be an irrational bastard, but god knows I’d bend hell for Amethyst. I don’t feel hurt or broken-hearted, because what Amethyst and I shared wasn’t as simple as love. It was fucking complicated, messy, and fucking deranged. My world starts and ends with her, but not anymore.
The Destroyer has just been destroyed.
“Sometimes following your heart,
means losing your mind”
- author unknown
~
“I hope my absence haunts you”
-achelei
Six Months Later
AMETHYST
I ended things again with Travis on the way home from the wedding, but I didn’t want to be with Maddox right then either. I knew that if I broke up with Travis in front of Maddox, he would beg me to stay with him. I needed space to figure out the solo mom thing and what I was going to do in regards of work. I wanted to be comfortable with the idea of becoming a mom before letting Maddox and I’s shit consume me again. My panicking didn’t last long because I lost the baby a week later. I didn’t even make it to twelve weeks before waking up with blood-drenched underwear. Since then, I’ve spent the last three months finding myself again. I got my halfpipe built near the pool, exactly where I envisioned it. Sitting on the edge of the halfpipe looking over LA is quite possibly my most favorite place ever. When I’ve not been drowning myself in work, I spend my time skating. I’ve been working on a movie lately, it will be my first big move. I’m struggling to keep on top of the tv show and the “Reckless” movie, but it’s been keeping me busy which I’m thankful for. The paparazzi seem to only be getting worse. Now I can’t even go down the street without being recognized. I love LA, but I miss the simplicity of New York. I haven’t been back since the wedding. The disaster of that day and time cripples me. The memories are way too much, and what Maddox continued to do that day snapped every bone in my body…