“I…”
“This latest sermon series has brought more people into the Sunday service, and do you remember who gave me the idea? It was Shay, in case you’ve forgotten.”
“I know…”
“As long as I am pastor of this church, we will welcome one and all. I refuse to focus on our past mistakes; God takes each one of us exactly where we are and so do I. Instead of focusing on the past, I prefer to look at the potential God has given each of us. As far as I can see, He’s doing fine work in Shay.”
“Will you give me a chance to speak now?” Linda asked pointedly.
I gestured for her to have her say. “Go ahead.”
“I’m making no judgments,” Linda insisted. “If you’re in love with Shay, then so be it, but I feel you need to consider the consequences.”
“I am in love with her.” I realized that was the first time I’d said the words aloud. I did love her. If I was willing to put my future on the line for her, then that told me everything I needed to know.
Linda paled slightly. “Are you going to ask her to marry you?”
That was a loaded question. “I don’t know yet. It’s early in the relationship, but at some point I probably will.”
“That might cost you,” she said. “I’m afraid the elders will call for a vote of confidence if matters go that far. It isn’t what I want, but I feel you should have fair warning.”
“Then so be it.” I refused to back down to threats, veiled or otherwise, although I believed Linda’s intentions were good. If I was asked to stand before the elders, then I’d cross that bridge when necessary. My hope, naturally, was that it wouldn’t come to that. I trusted Shay and knew that if given the chance, Shay would win them over.
“Drew, do you understand what I’m saying?”
“I do,” I returned confidently.
Linda seemed more concerned than I was, and I wanted to reassure her.
Before I could say anything, she said, “If it comes to that, I want you to know Lloyd and I will do everything within our power to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
“I appreciate your support.”
Linda shook her head slowly, as if she had yet to fully grasp what had transpired between us. “You genuinely love her, don’t you?”
“I didn’t realize how much until just now.”
Linda had never been the kind of woman who wore her heart on her sleeve, so it surprised me when she reached out and gave me a big hug. Taken aback as I was, it took me a couple moments to respond.
“I hope Shay realizes how fortunate she is.”
Linda had it all wrong. I was the fortunate one. I didn’t expect her to understand, at least not yet, but she would in time.
—
If my morning meeting with Linda wasn’t enough to complicate my day, a phone call from Kevin later that same afternoon did.
“Glad to hear you’re back,” Kevin said after I picked up the call.
“It’s good to be back.” That was a slight exaggeration. My mind had been caught up on the conversation with Linda that morning. I’d tried not to let it get me down. Although she hadn’t mentioned names, she didn’t need to say who the rabble-rouser was. Alex Turnbull served as the head of the church council and he’d questioned Shay’s “acceptability” from the start. He’d been the one to put up the biggest fuss about renting her the apartment. The most annoying part of his censure was that he’d been the elder who’d proposed that the church rent the space in the first place.
I was tempted to tell Kevin about my morning confrontation but decided against it. Later, if I needed a sounding board I’d go to him as a friend. I didn’t need his advice; I’d made my decision when it came to having Shay in my life and that wasn’t going to change.
“I have news for you,” Kevin said enthusiastically. “Good news.”
“I could use some,” I admitted. Kevin would think I was emotionally down because of Joe’s death. I didn’t enlighten him otherwise.
“Thought that might be the case.” He paused for dramatic effect. “I believe I’ve found Shay’s brother.”
“You know where Caden is?” I could hardly believe it’d happened so quickly.
“As I suspected, he changed his name. He goes by Shane now. As soon as I had my contacts pass his photo around I got hit after hit.”
“He’s in Seattle?”
“Right here.”
This was a good news/bad news scenario. My hope was if we reached out to Caden he would recognize the help Kevin offered and accept the opportunity presented to him. I would avoid any mention of Shay. All I wanted was the assurance that she would be safe.
“As Richard suspected, he’s in one of the homeless camps,” Kevin said, cutting into my thoughts. “In fact, it was one that we visited last month.”
This was almost more than I could assimilate. Caden had been living in Seattle in a homeless camp—the very one Shay and I had visited while out with the Search & Rescue team. I had to wonder if he’d seen his sister the night we were there and if he’d hidden when he caught sight of her. I hated the thought that he might already know she was in the area.
“I want to be there when you talk to him,” I said, determined to see Caden for myself. I hoped to learn what I could about the man and where he was mentally. Keeping him away from Shay was my first priority, but now that I’d learned that he might possibly know she was living in the area, I was concerned. For all I knew, Caden could be looking to find her, looking to play on her sympathies again and that was something I wanted to avoid. I’d let Kevin do the talking but I wanted to be there when he spoke to him.
“Working on it, brother. I reached out to Richard and Chuck and asked if they could arrange a meeting.”
“When?” My eagerness made me edgy and anxious.
“No time like the present. If we wait and he gets word it might be enough to spook him.”
“I’ll clear the rest of the day.”
“Good. Meet me at Hope Center.”
I was already on my feet. “I’m on my way.” Grabbing my coat, I called out instructions to Mary Lou and headed for the door.
My heart pounded hard with anticipation when I met up with Kevin, who drove to the homeless camp. Right away I saw Richard sitting in an open area where a couple of card tables had been arranged close to an open fire pit along with a few chairs. Richard sat with Caden by the fire.
As Kevin and I approached Caden, he turned questioning eyes to Richard. “Hey, man, what’s this?” he asked.
“Friends, man. These are friends.”
Caden was dressed in a thick sweater with a long-sleeved shirt underneath. The sweater elbows had big holes. He had to be chilled to the bone in the winter cold. He apparently didn’t own a coat.
“Hi,” I said, smiling at Caden.
He didn’t respond. If I was looking for any family resemblance, none was visible. He’d changed from the fresh young man in the photograph Lilly had found. Staring at him now, with his yellowed teeth, straggly hair, and baggy eyes, he looked several years older than Shay instead of being her younger brother.
“I’m here to help you,” Kevin told him.
Caden snickered. “Sure you are.”
Kevin continued talking, but I noticed that Caden focused his gaze on me. His eyes narrowed and he frowned as if he was trying to place me. It was then that I knew he recognized me from the night I’d been on the rescue mission. If that was the case, then he must have seen Shay that night as well. My heart sank.
Recently, Caden had been talking to Richard and Chuck. A chill came over me at the implication. Both men had been with Shay that night, leading her through the camp. I had to believe Caden had seen her with them as well as with me, which might explain his willingness to agree to this meeting. It could mean that Caden was looking for a way to connect with Shay, use her.
“Who are you?” Caden demanded, focusing his attention on me.
I was about to tell him I was no one when Richard spok
e up. “That’s Pastor Douglas. Show him some respect, man.”
“Pastor Douglas,” Caden repeated slowly.
Kevin continued. “We’re here to let you know that there are programs available to help…”
Caden held up his hand, stopping him. “Not interested.”
“These are good people,” Richard insisted. “Least you can do is listen.”
“Already told you I’m not interested.” With that he stormed away with a cynical smile twisting his mouth.
My heart was in my stomach. I had a terrible feeling that in looking to protect Shay, I might have done the exact opposite and put her at risk.
A loud knocking sound startled me and woke me in the middle of the night. Rolling over, I glanced at the bedside clock and saw that it was barely three. A shot of adrenaline had me bolt upright in bed. My immediate thought was that Shooter had found me. Then reason took over. If it was Shooter, then it was highly unlikely he’d knock. His style was to ambush and attack. Whoever it was, it sounded urgent. Maybe something was wrong with Drew or the children.
Hurrying now, I turned on the lights and headed into the living room. Thankfully, the door had a peephole and a porch light that illuminated the area. Drew had added a bright one as a safety measure that shone across half the yard. If it was Drew at the door, I wanted proof, although I couldn’t imagine why he wouldn’t phone first instead.
A man stood on the other side, wobbling back and forth on his feet as if struggling to find his balance. At first I didn’t recognize him and assumed he was one of Richard or Chuck’s friends.
Then I did.
It was Caden.
My brother.
My heart nearly burst inside my chest. I had wondered how I’d feel if I ever saw him again. Early on in my recovery I’d made the decision to avoid anything to do with my brother. As painful as it was to cut him free, I had to do what was best for my own emotional well-being.
I didn’t know how he’d managed to find me. My heart clenched at the sight of him and I struggled with what to do. As much as I wanted to turn my back and ignore him, I found I couldn’t. I didn’t know what he wanted, but I was stronger now and unwilling to be drawn into his drama. Then, I reasoned, if he had come to me, he must be desperate.
I undid the lock and opened the door. Caden pointed at me, then staggered a few steps. “Aren’t you going invite your baby brother inside?” he demanded.
“No. Go away, Caden, you’re drunk.” I took an involuntary step back. Even in the cold of the night, he reeked of alcohol. It’d been over four years since I’d last seen him and I almost hadn’t recognized my own brother. The years hadn’t been good to him, which led me to believe he was still hooked on drugs. “Caden, oh Caden, what’s happened to you?” I whispered, my heart breaking at the sight of him.
“I need my big sister. Won’t you help me, Shay? All I need is a few dollars to see me through.”
“Caden, I can’t…”
“Look at you in this fancy apartment, living the good life while your baby brother is sleeping on the street.”
He staggered forward and tried to grab hold of my shoulders. I managed to catch him by the shoulders so he didn’t stumble.
“I’ve been looking for you,” he said, slurring the words. “Needed your help but you didn’t want to see me, did you?”
“Caden, please, you have to understand, I’m not the same person I was four years ago. I’ve changed. I—”
“Bet you didn’t think I’d find you, did you?” he said, cutting me off. “Thought you could hide from me. Well, I’m smarter than you think. Smarter than you realize.”
I blinked, not knowing what to say or even if I should comment.
“I saw you, you know, that night you were out with that rescue team. Saw you with him.”
“Him?”
“That pastor friend of yours. He came…him and that other do-gooder, thinking they could help me. I recognized him and then followed him. I saw the two of you.” His laugh was maniacal. “You got something going with that preacher, don’t you? Imagine what Shooter would think if he knew. He’d laugh his fool head off. I did.”
I bristled, disliking his tone. I wondered if Caden knew what Shooter had done to me in an effort to find him. Probably not. “It’s time for you to leave,” I said as forcefully as I could and attempted once more to close the door.
“I ain’t leaving until you give me some money. Don’t tell me you don’t have it, living in this fancy place.”
I could see it wasn’t going to be easy to persuade him to walk away. I toyed with the idea of giving him a twenty and just as quickly changed my mind. If I started giving him money now it would be only the beginning. Soon he’d be coming to me for funds for his drinking and drugs and his needs would be endless. I couldn’t give in, no matter what.
“I can’t, Caden. I’m sorry, but I can’t give you any money.”
He blinked and scowled as if he didn’t believe me. His arms flung out as if he had trouble maintaining his balance.
Taking advantage of the opportunity, I started to close the door. Caden was too quick for me and put his foot in the way, stopping me. “Didn’t I tell you I wasn’t going to leave until you gave me what I came for? I can stand here all night if need be, but I’m not leaving until you do what’s right for your family.”
I shook my head, using every bit of determination I possessed to turn my back on my brother.
“Please. You’re my sister,” he pleaded, changing tactics. “You need to help me; it’s your duty. It’s what Mom would have wanted you to do.”
As hard as it was not to give in, no way would I let my brother manipulate me. “No, Caden, what Mom would want is for you to be clean and sober, and the last thing she’d want is for me to enable you to continue on this path of self-destruction.”
“Okay, fine,” he said, cursing at me, calling me terrible names. I regretted opening the door now and tried again to close it. Despite being drunk, Caden was surprisingly strong. As hard as I pushed, I was unable to get the door to budge.
I wasn’t going to allow him to verbally abuse me. “It’s time for you to go, Caden. Leave me alone and don’t come here again.”
He growled at me like a rabid beast.
I saw a police cruiser stop on the side of the street. The light Drew had installed must have illuminated the area, which was easily viewed from the street. “The police are here—”
“Cops. You bitch…” Again with the foul language, all directed at me. My brother used every foul word I had ever heard.
“Leave.” I shoved with all my might, hoping to close the front door. Caden yanked me forward and then, gasping with surprise and shock, I stumbled out into the cold. That was when my brother took a wild swing at me. Thankfully, I was able to step back in time to avoid getting hit. The action caused my brother to lose his balance and stagger sideways. It was a major accomplishment that he managed to remain upright, although he stumbled several feet before he could stop himself.
I groaned inwardly when I noticed two police officers getting out of their cruiser and running across the lawn.
As soon as Caden saw the police, he cursed me again and took off in a desperate run. One of the officers raced in pursuit while the second approached me.
“Are you okay?” the female officer asked.
“I…think so,” I said.
“We saw what happened. Do you want to press assault charges?”
“No. He’s drunk or worse.” I wanted to explain that I hadn’t seen him in years but I didn’t get a chance. When Caden realized he wasn’t going to be able to outrun the officer, he turned to face the man and reached for a knife. As soon as the female officer saw the weapon, she left me to assist her partner.
I couldn’t see what happened next, but I heard the officer call into her mike, “Officer down, officer down.”
The policeman who had gone after Caden was on the ground, grabbing hold of his side, and the female officer had her gun d
rawn on Caden. I realized then that my brother had stabbed the first officer.
My first thought was to try to help, to do what I could to talk to my brother, calm him down. Instinctively I realized any effort I made would simply add to the chaos. The only thing I could do was stay out of the way.
Sirens blared in the distance. Caden was restrained and arrested and the injured officer was taken by an aid car to a local hospital. I was in the middle of being interviewed when Drew came out. I’d never been so grateful to see anyone.
He ran across the yard and grabbed hold of me in a fierce hug. “What happened? Dear God, are you all right?”
“I’m fine. It was Caden.”
“Sir,” the female officer intervened, “if you could wait a few minutes, we need to finish our interview?”
Drew didn’t release me but held me close to his side. I noticed he was trembling. I knew that seeing the police and the aid car had given him a fright. He must have assumed the worst.
To the best of my ability, I answered the officer’s questions. Before they finished, I had a few questions of my own. “What will the charges be?”
“He’s under arrest.”
That much I knew, seeing that he’d been hauled away in handcuffs.
“He’ll be charged with assaulting an officer, public drunkenness, and resisting arrest.”
This wasn’t sounding good.
“He’s looking at some serious jail time,” she told me.
I closed my eyes, wishing things had turned out differently. Reading between the lines of what Caden had said, Drew and Kevin had found him and offered him help. It was clear Caden wasn’t interested. That being the case, there wasn’t anything I could do for him. I certainly wasn’t giving him money. He assumed I was an easy touch. I had been at one time, but no more.
After the police left and the medical people had driven away, my pulse gradually returned to normal. Drew’s arms were around me as he whispered, “Let me make you a cup of coffee so we can talk this out.”
Sleeping now would be impossible, and it wasn’t that long before I was due at the café. “Okay.”