Sarah was missing.
My daughter had been distraught this morning, and because I was upset, I hadn’t paid enough attention. Because she was hurting, Sarah could easily have been lured away by a predator.
By the time I reached the school, the scenarios going off in my head were enough to cause a panic attack. The principal at the elementary school was quizzing one of Sarah’s friends when I arrived. Heather rode the bus with my daughter. She’d been at the bus stop that morning when I left Sarah.
“Hi, Heather,” I said, noting how frightened the other child seemed to be.
“Hi, Pastor Douglas.”
Mrs. Thalheimer, the principal, spoke. “According to Heather, Sarah said she’d forgotten something at home and needed to go back. This happened just before the school bus arrived.”
I slammed my eyes closed. Not once had I thought to check the house. I should have guessed that was what had happened. My daughter had been upset that morning; we all were. It was only natural that she’d want to skip school. My relief was instantaneous.
“She must be at the house,” I said.
“Please call and let us know that Sarah is safe,” Mrs. Thalheimer said, and walked me to the door. “If not, I believe we should notify the police.”
“Yes, of course.” The panic hadn’t left me as I rushed to the house. Nothing would take away the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach until I found my daughter.
Only the house was empty. I checked every room twice, racing around, calling her name, growing more desperate by the minute.
I reached for my phone to notify the police of a missing child. My second call would be to the school to let them know I hadn’t found Sarah.
Holding the phone in my hand, it rang unexpectedly, startling me. When caller ID told me it was Shay, I experienced a mixture of emotions. Some relief, some irritation. With a missing nine-year-old, I didn’t have time to deal with Shay. I almost let the call go to voicemail.
“Yes,” I said impatiently.
“Sarah’s with me,” she said, without any exchange of pleasantries.
“Sarah’s with you?” I repeated, overwhelmed with gratitude and relief. “Where are you?”
“The café. We’re having a bite to eat.”
“What?” I nearly exploded. Shay made it sound like the two of them were on a field trip, while I was a hair’s breadth from losing my mind and calling the police.
“She was waiting for me outside the café at the time I normally take my break,” Shay explained, remaining calm and coolheaded.
I, on the other hand, was about to gnaw off my fingers. “Stay there,” I said, doing my best to settle my rampaging emotions.
“Okay. We’ll stay put.”
I could hear Sarah protesting in the background that she wanted to be with Shay.
“I’ll meet you at the café,” I told her, and was already on my way out the door.
“Will you be long?” she asked.
“Give me ten minutes.”
I hung up and immediately contacted Mrs. Thalheimer at the school. “I found Sarah,” I told her, breathless, as I raced toward my vehicle. “She’s with a family friend.”
“Is everything all right?” the school principal wanted to know.
“It’s fine,” I told her, although it wasn’t. As best I could figure, Sarah had decided to run away.
Nothing felt right and I knew what I had to do.
I found Sarah and Shay sitting in a corner booth when I entered The Corner Café. Sarah was eating French fries. I noticed Shay hadn’t ordered anything for herself.
Shay’s eyes locked with mine and she offered me a sad smile. Her look went through me like a laser beam. I felt it all the way through my body. A part of me wanted to talk to her then and there, plead with her one more time, but I needed to deal with my daughter first.
Sarah glanced at me as I approached and her eyes were rimmed with tears. Right away she turned toward Shay, as if seeking her help.
Sliding into the booth next to my daughter, I placed my arm around her shoulders and hugged her.
“Shay told me I had to tell you I’m sorry.”
“Are you sorry?” I asked.
She answered with a stubborn tilt of her chin. “No, and you can ground me if you want, but I wanted to be with Shay.”
“There are consequences, Sarah, when we do what we know is wrong,” I said.
Sarah hung her head. “I know you’re mad.” As though to comfort Shay, Sarah stretched her arm across the table and patted Shay’s hand. “I had to talk to Shay before she moved. If she was going to leave us, then I wanted to tell her that I’d go with her.”
My gaze met Shay’s. All I could read in her eyes was pain and sadness. “And what did Shay tell you?” I asked my nine-year-old.
Sarah’s shoulders slumped forward. “She told me I couldn’t.”
“I see.”
“I don’t want her to leave us, Daddy.”
“I don’t want her to leave us, either.”
Shay’s eyes shot to mine, filled with questions. Mine were filled with love. “I thought it would be all right if she went away,” I said, addressing my daughter, “but I realize now that it would never be the same for any of us without Shay.” I didn’t know what that would mean for any of us, how my church family would react to having her as part of my life, but at this point I was past caring.
Grabbing a napkin from the dispenser, Shay dabbed at her eyes.
“Do you know why it would be hard to let her move away?” I asked my daughter.
“Because we’d miss her?” she guessed.
“For sure, but there’s an even stronger reason.”
“Because we love her?”
“Yes, we love her and she’s important to us.”
Sarah’s face lit up with a huge smile. “Will you stay with us?” she asked Shay. “Please say you will.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” Shay whispered, as if she was having a difficult time finding her voice.
“Finish your fries, Sarah, so I can drop you off at school. Don’t you have a spelling test this afternoon?” I knew that because I’d gone over her spelling words with her the night before.
I stole a couple fries when Sarah wasn’t looking, but she caught me and teasingly slapped my hand. “You can have one if you ask nicely, and say ‘pretty please.’ ”
“Pretty please,” I said and reached for two, giving one to Shay.
Shay grinned and accepted the fry from my fingers. As soon as her hand was close, I curled my fingers around hers and squeezed gently.
I asked Shay to accompany me to Sarah’s school, and she did. She waited in the car as I escorted Sarah into the building. Afterward I drove to the house, preferring that we talk privately there instead of at the church office.
We both had little to say while in the car. As soon as we were inside the house and the door was closed, I pulled Shay into my arms and simply held her. God help me, I couldn’t let her go. For the life of me, I didn’t know what was going on with her and the missing money. We’d deal with that later, if at all.
I kissed her, tasting the salt of her tears on my lips. She felt so good in my arms and I knew this was where she was meant to be. Running my fingers through her hair, I angled my mouth over hers, kissing her again and again, unable to get enough of her, needing more, wanting more. I don’t know what I was thinking to send her out of my life. I needed her. My children needed her. Yes, there’d be consequences, but I’d face those, we’d face them together.
Her arms were around me, holding on as if we were locked together in the middle of a stormy sea, rocking in a small life raft. I leaned my forehead against hers, breathing in the scent that was uniquely hers.
“I don’t know why you won’t answer my questions. Nor do I know why you think you can’t tell me what you know about that missing money. For whatever reason, that’s important enough to keep your promise. I’ll honor that with you.”
Tears fill
ed her eyes and spilled down her face. “I trust this person. I know in the end it will be made right.”
I hoped she was right, because she was taking a tremendous risk.
Her hands cupped my jaw and she kissed me again hard and long, twisting her mouth against mine. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“I’ll help you find someplace else to live,” I offered.
“I can’t stay in the apartment?”
“I’m sorry, Shay, so sorry. That decision isn’t mine.”
I felt her disappointment and it hurt me to have to tell her that there was nothing more I could do about the board’s decision.
“I understand.”
“I’ll help you as best I can.”
“Both Sadie and Alice offered to let me stay with them until I could find a new place.”
Inspiration struck. “I’ll talk to Linda Kincaid. She seems to have connections everywhere. What’s most important to me is that you know that I trust you and I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“I’m sorry I pressured you.”
She planted her forehead against my chest. “Thank you,” she whispered, her voice cracking with emotion. “It means everything to me.”
We talked for an hour or longer. I made a few phone calls and then brewed us each a cup of coffee.
As we spoke I realized how close I’d come to losing her. Sarah and Mark had been the ones to give me a wake-up call. Their love for Shay was as strong as my own.
“Sarah and Mark need you as much as I do.”
The back door opened. Mark was home from school. The afternoon had flown by; I hadn’t realized how late it was.
For a moment my son looked shocked when he saw Shay.
“Shay,” he whispered, his eyes brightening with surprised joy. “You didn’t move.”
“Not yet,” she told him, “but I’ll need to find somewhere else soon.”
Mark nodded and headed straight to his room.
Never one to verbalize his thoughts, Mark wouldn’t say much one way or the other. He didn’t need to. I could tell how pleased he was to see Shay. I’d explain later that despite the move, Shay would remain a part of our lives.
With only a few days to pack up my clothes and the other belongings that I’d managed to acquire, I collected boxes from the café. Frankie saved the best of the produce boxes for me and I was grateful. Seeing that I couldn’t exactly cart them home on the bus, I chose to walk. It was only a matter of six or so blocks, although it made for an awkward trip.
Saturday morning, following my shift, I had two more of the boxes with me as I approached the church. Mark was outside with his dad working in the yard when he noticed me, and he stopped what he was doing and stared as I headed toward the apartment.
I smiled at Mark encouragingly.
He said something to his father and then approached me. “Do you want some help carrying those?” he asked.
“Sure.” I handed him the smaller one.
“I hate that you’re moving,” Mark said, setting the box on his shoulder.
“Yeah, me, too.”
“Do you have another place yet?” he asked.
“No, but I’m working on it.” I set the box down and reached for the apartment key to open the door.
“Where will you go?” he asked, sounding worried.
I was surprised his father hadn’t told him. “I’m moving in with the Kincaids until I can find a place of my own.”
“Oh.”
Sarah saw the two of us and raced across the yard. “Can I help, too?” she asked, her face bright and eager.
“We got this,” Mark told his sister.
“I didn’t ask you,” she grumbled at her brother. Turning to me, she asked, “Can we bake cookies later?”
While I should take the time to pack, I wasn’t about to waste the opportunity to spend time with Sarah. The Kincaids were kind enough to allow me to move in with them and I was more than grateful. The one negative was that they lived several miles from Drew and the church. Getting to and from my classes was going to be a hassle. I would no longer have my ride and bus service to their neighborhood, especially that late at night, wasn’t the best. It would add an extra hour or longer to my day.
“What kind of cookies do you want to bake?” I asked.
“Can we do sugar cookies this time?”
“You got it.”
Drew called his daughter and she raced back to her father while Mark continued with the box into the apartment.
“Thanks, Mark.”
He hesitated after setting down the box. Glancing around the apartment, he saw that I’d packed and stacked the others, preparing for the move. I saw him swallow hard, as if struggling to hold back tears.
I wasn’t sure how he’d feel about me hugging him, but I refused to hold back any longer. My arms went around him and I brought him close to me and kissed the top of his head. “It’s going to be fine,” I whispered.
“You…you love us.”
“I do. More than anything, more than I’ve ever loved anyone…even more than I love my brother.”
“Sometimes I think my mom sent you to us.”
Tears sprang to my eyes and I fought to hold them back. “I don’t think anyone has ever said anything that means more to me. Thank you, Mark.”
His young arms came around my waist and he hugged me and started to sob. “You didn’t tell. Even when it meant the elders would make you move.”
My own grip around him tightened. “I promised I wouldn’t. I keep my promises.”
“You…you should have told on me,” he managed between sobs.
It was easy to see that the last week had been torturous for him. “You made me a promise, too, remember. You assured me you’d do the right thing.”
“But I didn’t,” he sobbed, his thin shoulders shaking. “I let you take the blame. I…was afraid.”
“I know you were,” I whispered, trying hard to keep the tears out of my voice. “I hoped you’d tell your father the truth and why you took that money.” He hadn’t shared his reasons with me and I hadn’t pressured him. I knew it had to be a heavy weight on his thin shoulders to carry this burden.
He pulled away and wiped the tears from his face, smearing them down his cheeks. “They were going to beat me up again,” he said, sniffling now.
“Who are they?” I asked.
“Those boys you saw, remember?”
I’d been right. The afternoon Mark had come into the café, I’d seen those other kids and wondered. Mark had come not out of any interest in seeing me. It’d been an effort to escape those bullies.
“At first all they wanted was for me to do their homework. I did, but it wasn’t enough. Then they took my lunch money away from me.”
That helped to explain why Mark was always so hungry when he came home from school.
“Your dad put you in karate classes. Why did you drop out?”
Mark ran the back of his hand below his nose. “One of the boys was in the same class and he made fun of me. I’m not very athletic and there was a girl in that class and—”
“You don’t need to say anything more, I understand.” Poor Mark was caught between a rock and a hard place.
My door opened and Drew came into the apartment. He paused when he saw his son openly weeping.
“Hey, you two, what’s…” He stopped mid-question.
Mark straightened, looked at his father, and burst into tears again. Immediately I brought him back into my arms.
“Mark?” Drew asked, frowning. When his son didn’t answer, he looked to me. “Shay?”
This wasn’t for me to tell, and so I remained silent.
Gradually Mark pulled away from me, squared his shoulders, and faced his father. “Dad,” he said, struggling to speak as if the words were stuck in his throat. “I took the money, not Shay. She knew and she confronted me and we talked. I knew it was wrong, but I didn’t want her to tell you and so I said I would. I made her promise not
to tell anyone.” He swallowed hard and continued. “I promised her that I would tell you and…and then I didn’t and then I learned Shay was going to have to move and I got scared and I didn’t know what to do.”
Drew’s eyes widened in shock. He froze as if he didn’t know what to say. “Why, son? Why would you steal?”
Mark went to his father and Drew immediately wrapped his arms around his son, comforting and hugging him, holding him tightly in his embrace.
It was evident that the guilt and anguish of the last week had broken the young teen. His sobs echoed in the room. After a few moments, Drew looked up and his eyes captured mine.
“And you refused to break your promise to my son,” he said, as though it was more than he could comprehend.
Again, I nodded. “I told you I trusted the person responsible. Mark had made a promise to me, too, and I knew he would eventually own up to it. More important, I wanted him to tell us why he was desperate enough to steal. You and I both know Mark isn’t a thief. There had to be a solid reason for what he did.” I reached out and patted Mark’s back. “It’s time to tell your dad.”
“Can you explain it to me, son?” Drew asked.
I was about to suggest that we all sit down and I’d make us tea, but unfortunately my cups were packed away and for that matter, so was the tea.
“I…I told Shay a lot of what’s been happening, but I’ll tell you, too.”
The two headed toward the door so they could speak privately.
“Send Sarah over,” I called after him, knowing Mark wouldn’t want his sister listening in on the conversation. Being bullied was embarrassing enough without his sister knowing. “Tell her I need help packing.”
Drew’s eyes held mine for an intense moment. “You mean unpacking. No way are you moving now. I’ll see to that personally.”
“Send me Sarah,” I said, unwilling to press the point. The last thing I wanted was to put Drew in an awkward position, going up against the elders and their decision. If I needed to vacate the apartment, then I would.