CHAPTER IX
THE FAR EASTERN TROPICS
"You look--" said Mrs. Lathrop, solicitously, one afternoon, when SusanClegg had come around by the gate to enjoy a spell of mutual sitting andknitting.
"Well, I am," confessed Susan, unrolling her ball and drawing a longbreath; "I may tell you in confidence, Mrs. Lathrop, as I really neverwas more so. What with havin' to look after Elijah's washin' an' hismendin' an' his cookin' an' his room, an' what with holdin' down his newideas an' explainin' to people as he did n't mean what it sounds likewhen I ain't been able to hold 'em down, I do get pretty well wore out.I can see as Mr. Kimball sees how Elijah is wearin' on me for he givesme a chair whenever I go in there now an' that just shows how anxioushe is for me to rest when I can, but it really ain't altogether Elijah'sfault for the way my back aches to-day, for I got this ache in a way asyou could n't possibly understand, Mrs. Lathrop, for I got it fromsittin' up readin' a book last night as you or any ordinary person wouldof gone to sleep on the second page of an' slept clear through to theindex; but I was built different from you an' ordinary persons, Mrs.Lathrop, an' if I'd thanked the Lord as much as I'd ought to for thatI'd never have had time to do nothin' else in _this_ world."
"What--" asked Mrs. Lathrop, with interest.
"It was a book," said her friend, beginning to knit assiduously--"a bookas a boy he went to school with sent Mr. Fisher with a postal card,sayin' as every American man 'd ought to read it thoughtfully. Mrs.Fisher took it out of the post office an' read the postal card, an' shesaid right off as she did n't approve of Mr. Fisher's reading books asevery man ought to know, so she let me have it to bring home an' readtill she gets through makin' over her carpets. I brought the book homedone up to look like it was a pie, an' I will frankly state, Mrs.Lathrop, as you could have dropped me dead out of any balloon when Ifound out what it was about. It was n't the kind of book the postal cardwould have led you to suppose a _tall_--it was about Asia, Mrs. Lathrop,the far side or the near side, just accordin' to the way you face to getthe light while you read, an' so far from its bein' only intended formen it's all right for any one at all to read as has got the time. Nowthat I'm done it an' know I have n't never got to do it again, I don'tmind telling you in confidence that for a book as could n't possiblyhave been meant to be interestin' it was about as agreeable readin' as Iever struck in my life. There was lots in it as was new to me, for it'sa thick book, an' all I knowed about that part of the world before wasas Java coffee comes from Java an' the Philippines from Spain. But Iknow it all now, an' Judge Fitch himself can't tell me nothin' from thisday on that the man who wrote that book ain't told me first. I'll bet Iknow more about what that book 's about than any one in this communitydoes, an' now that I know it I see why the man said what he did on thepostal card for it _is_ a book as every man ought to read, an' I read inthe paper the other day as the main trouble with the men in America wasas they knowed all about what they did n't know nothin' about, an' didn't know nothin' a _tall_ about the rest."
"What--" began Mrs. Lathrop.
"But I don't see how the man that wrote it is ever goin' to make anymoney out of it," pursued her friend, "for it's pretty plain as it'severy bit written about things that Americans don't want to really learnan' what the rest of the world learned long ago. If I was very patrioticI don't believe I'd have read it clear through to the end myself, but Iain't never felt any call to be patriotic since the boys throwed thatfirecracker into my henhouse last Fourth of July. I will say this forthe hen, Mrs. Lathrop, an' that is that she took the firecracker a gooddeal calmer'n I could, for I was awful mad, an' any one as seed me oughtto of felt what a good American was spoiled then an' there, for all Iasked was to hit somethin', whether it was him as throwed the cracker ornot an' that's what Judge Fitch always calls the real American spiritwhen he makes them band-stand speeches of his in the square. Oh my,though, but I wish you had n't reminded me of that hen, Mrs. Lathrop,her tail never will come in straight again I don't believe, an' she'sforever hoppin' off her eggs to look out of the window since she hadthat scare."
Mrs. Lathrop frowned and looked very sympathetic.
"But about this book," Susan went on after a second of slightlysaddened reflection. "I'm goin' to tell you all about it. Elijah 'sgoin' to write a editorial about it, too. Elijah says this business ofdowntreadin' our only colony has got to be stopped short right now assoon as he can call the government's attention to how to do it.
"Well, the book begins very mild an' pleasant with Hongkong an' it endswith the Philippine accounts. Seems Hongkong ain't Chinese for all it'snamed that an' growed there--it's English--an' as for the Philippinesthere's eight millions of 'em, not countin' the wild ones as they can'tcatch to count an' ask questions. In between Hongkong an' thePhilippines the man who wrote the book runs around that part of theworld pretty lively an' tells who owns it an' what kind of roads they'vegot an' who'd better govern 'em an' all like that. You might think fromhearin' me as he sort of put on airs over knowin' so much himself, butit don't sound that way a _tall_ in the book. It's when he finally gotto the Philippines as any one can see as he really did begin to enjoyhimself. He enjoyed himself so much that he really made me enjoy myself,too, although I can't in reason deny as I felt as I might not of beenquite so happy only for that firecracker. The kind of things he saysabout our doin's in those countries is all what you don't get in thepapers nor no other way, an' if the United States really feels they'rein the right as to how they're actin' all they need to do is to read howwrong they are in that book where a man as really knows what he'stalkin' about has got it all set down in black an' white. I don'tbelieve it's generally knowed here in America as Dewey took Aguinaldoan' his guns over to Manila an' give him his first start at fightin' an'called him 'general' for a long time after they'd decided in Washingtonas how he was n't nothin' but a rebel after all. I never knowed anythin'about that, an' I will remark as I think there's many others as don'tknow it, neither, an' I may in confidence remark to you, Mrs. Lathrop,as that book leads me to think as the main trouble with the Philippinesis as they are bein' run by folks as don't know anythin' about the placethey're runnin' an' don't know nothin' about runnin' for anythin' butplaces. The man in the book says the Philippines ain't very well offbeing pacified, an' that the Americans ain't no great success pacifyin''em, for it seems as they made five thousand expeditions after 'em inone year, an' only got hold of five thousand natives in all. That's aexpedition to a man, an' I will say, Mrs. Lathrop, as it's small wonderwe're taxed an' they're taxed, with some of our new fellow citizens ashard to grab as that. To my order of thinkin' it'd be wisest to let 'emchase each other for ten or twenty years first an' then when they waspretty well thinned out we could step in an' settle with the survivors;but accordin' to the man who wrote the book you can't never tell aAmerican nothin', an' I must say that my own experience in thiscommunity has proved as he knows what he's sayin' all straight enough.He says the Philippines is in a very bad way, an' so is their roads, buthe says that all the folks in this country is so dead satisfied withtheir way an' poor roads that they ain't goin' to do nothin' to helpeither along any."
"Did--" asked Mrs. Lathrop.
"He says," continued Susan, "that the United States is just so happysittin' back an' observin' the Philippines, an' the Philippines is sofar off that if they die of starvation while being observed no one'llever be the wiser. He says the United States is payin' for the army, an'the Philippines is tryin' to live with it, an' seein' as they don't workmuch an' the Chinese is forbidden to work for 'em, he don't see no helpnowhere. What he said about the Chinese was very interestin', for Inever see one close to, an' it seems they're a clean race only forlikin' to raise pigs in their garrets. It seems, too, as if you let 'eminto any country they'll work very hard an' live very cheap an' pay mostof the taxes with the duty on opium as they've got to eat, an' games asthey've got to play."
"I sh'd think--" said Mrs. Lathrop, looking startled.
"Well, I should, too," said Susa
n, "but accordin' to the book thePhilippines ain't to be allowed any such luxury as havin' the Chinese todevelop their country an' pay their taxes. No sir, they've all got to goto school an' learn English first, an' although he says right out plainthat the Philippines needs Chinese an' good roads a deal worse 'n theyneed the army an' the schools, still it's the army an' the schools asAmerica is going to give them, an' they can get along without the roadsan' the Chinese as best they can. They certainly must be gettin' a gooddeal of schoolin', but the man says all the teachers teach is English,an' as none of the children can speak English they don't get muchlearned. I thought I could sort of see that he thought we 'd ought toof straightened out the South of our own country afore we begun on anyother part of the world, an' it _is_ the other half of the world, too,Mrs. Lathrop, for I looked it up on a map an' it begins right underJapan an' then twists off in a direction as makes you wonder how underthe sun we come to own it anyway, an' if we did accidentally get ithooked on to us by Dewey's having too much steam up to be able to stophimself afore he'd run over the other fleet, we'd ought anyway to bewillin' to give it away like you do the kittens you ain't got time todrown. The whole back of the book is full of figures to prove as it'sthe truth as has been told in front, but the man who wrote it didn'tthink much of even the figures in the Philippines for he says they putdown some of what they spend in Mexican money an' some in American an'don't tell what they spend the most of it for in either case. He says hemet some very nice men there an' they was workin' the best they knewhow but they did n't think things were goin' well themselves an' it'splain to be seen that he spoke of 'em just like you give a child a cookyafter a spankin'. What interested me most was there's a Malay countryover there as the English began on twenty-five years ago an' have gotrailroaded an' telegraphed an' altogether civilized now, an' we've hadthe Philippines ten years an' ain't even got the live ones quieted downyet."
"What do you--" asked Mrs. Lathrop, earnestly.
"Oh," said her friend, "I ain't never had no ideas on the Philippinequestion since Judge Fitch got his brother made a captain in the warjust because he was tired supportin' him. Mr. Kimball said then as allwars was just got up to use up the folks as respectable people did n'twant to have around no longer an' I must say as I believe him. Mr.Weskin told me as it's been quietly knowed around for hundreds of yearsas the crusades was a great success as far as gettin' 'em off wasconcerned just for that very reason, an' I guess we're hangin' on to thePhilippines because it's a place a good long ways off to send poorrelations after good salaries. The man who wrote the book said a man didn't need to know hardly anythin' to go there an' I must say from what Isee of the few who have come back they don't look like they spent muchspare time studyin' up while they was in the country."
Susan stopped knitting suddenly and stuck her needles into the ball.
"I've got to go home," she said. "I've just remembered as I forgot tofill the tea-kettle. Well, Mrs. Lathrop, we've had a nice talk about ourforeign possessions an' all I can say in the end is as that whole bookmade me feel just like we'd all ought to get to feel as quick as we can.Lots of things in this world might be better only the people that couldchange 'em don't often feel inclined that way, an' the people who'dlike to have a change ain't the ones as have got any say. If I was aPhilippine I'd want a Chinaman to do my work an' I'd feel pretty madthat folks as had so many niggers an' Italians that they did n't needChinamen should say I could n't have 'em neither. I'd feel as if Iknowed what was best for me an' I would n't thank a lot of men inanother part of the world for sittin' down on my ideas. However, there'sone thing that comforted me very much in the book. All the countriesaround _is_ run, an' pretty well run too, by other countries an' if thePhilippines get too awful tired of being badly run by us all those of'em as know anythin' can easy paddle across to some of them well runcountries in the front half of the book to live, an' as for the rest--"
Susan stopped short. Mrs. Lathrop was sound asleep!