And it had all been a lie.
Chapter 6
Jace
The sight of Kin knocked the breath out of me. I’d been thinking about her a lot lately so when I’d seen her it had felt like I was in a dream.
It couldn’t be real. This chick just looked like her and my imagination was seeing what it wanted to see. It wouldn’t have been the first time I’d seen Kin’s face in other girls. Then she had turned around and I’d nearly dropped to my knees when I met that familiar blue gaze that had always had the ability to see straight to my soul.
What the hell was she doing in California? Not that I was complaining. This was fate telling me that she was meant to be with me after all. I just wanted to know what had brought her to California when I knew that she should still be in Virginia. She still had to finish out her senior year of high school. Why the fuck would she be uprooted during that last year and move over three thousand miles away?
After Kin and her friend left with the muscle-head bodyguard, I bailed on Harris and headed home once we got Jenna into a taxi. Jenna wasn’t my favorite person, but it was more because of the drugs than anything else. Her girlfriend, however, was another story. I couldn’t stand Tessa. She used people, was a hardcore drug addict and she was quickly turning Jenna into one too.
My thoughts didn’t stay on Jenna and her skanky girlfriend for long. I got home by eleven and went straight to bed, ignoring the annoying giggles coming from Gray’s room. The dude had a different girl every night and the less they had going on in the brain department the better he liked it. The way he whored himself out would have exhausted me. I only brought a girl home when I got shit-faced, and that wasn’t often these days.
Grimacing, I dropped down on my bed and pulled my phone out of my pocket. The wallpaper picture on the screen had my chest tightening with emotions as I ate up the sight of Kin gazing back at me so lovingly.
So trustingly.
I’d met her after a show at the bar where Tainted Knights had a steady gig every Friday night back in Bristol. It was college night and the place had been packed. Cash, our bassist, had invited friends from high school and had promised them we’d hang out after the show. I’d been set to bail on them and get home to Kassa, but a tall curvy redhead had caught my attention.
Kin had been wearing skintight jeans with holes in the knees, cowboy boots and a Demon’s Wings T-shirt that had fit perfectly over her tits. Her long hair had been pulled back into a ponytail, showing the world her long, graceful neck and the fact she had a freckle just under her left ear. I’d instantly wanted to taste that freckle and had been about to make my move when Cash had shaken hands with the mountain of a man standing beside her.
Caleb Jacobson was one scary-looking motherfucker. He was as wide as a car and looked like he could bench-press one with ease. The way he’d been so protective of Kin made me jealous for the first time in my life, but that was quickly squashed when I realized that the two were stepsiblings and acted like they were related by blood.
Kin hadn’t been shy and hadn’t played games with me. Her blue eyes had found mine as we’d all stood there talking and I’d known that she was mine for the taking. Caleb had kept a close eye on us throughout that night, but hadn’t tried to step in. Not that it would have mattered. I would have taken him and ten other guys just as big to be with Kin. It had taken less than an hour before I knew I wanted more than just one night with the beautiful redhead. Less than a week later I’d known that she could own me if I let her, and I’d been the first one to say ‘I love you’ a month later.
Kin’s mom had been sick a lot then, and I drove up to Wytheville to see her when Kin couldn’t make it down to Bristol to see the band play. I’d gotten to know all the Jacobsons, including Kin’s mom, Abigail. She was a nice woman and a great mom, so when the doctors told her that she didn’t have but a few months left, Kin had been destroyed. I’d held her, let her cry herself to sleep in my arms after finding out that she was going to lose her mother. I knew I’d feel the same way if it were Alicia who was battling cancer and was told she wouldn’t last until Christmas.
Harris had shown up at the bar just a few days later and had offered Tainted Knights a gig playing at his club back in L.A. We’d all known that taking this job would get us the attention the band deserved. Harris Cutter had connections in the music world that none of us could ever hope to have. I had been torn, though. I wanted to take the offer but at the same time I wanted to walk away from it all. If I left, what would happen to me and Kin? She needed me and I wanted to be there for her.
But this chance was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing. So I had to make a hard choice and in the end I’d picked the band. It was Gray who had pointed out to me that Kin was still young. She would get over me if I left her right then. She could move on and I would be just a memory. While that had been a bitter pill to swallow, I’d known he was right. Kin was only seventeen. I was her first, and while I’d wanted to be her last, I knew that the chances of us lasting were against us.
I broke up with her the day before I left Bristol for California. It was the hardest thing I had ever done and most nights I fell asleep thinking about how she’d looked with tears flowing down her cheeks and her eyes so full of pain that I felt gutted.
I’d been such a dick, but I wouldn’t take the time I’d been in California back. Tainted Knights was my life and I wanted to be front and center for the ride I knew we would all be taking now that we had a contract waiting on us with the most sought after manager in the music world. Emmie Armstrong was going to take us places. So even though I’d been a mess mentally without Kin, I knew I was where I needed to be.
Yet seeing her now, three thousand miles from her home, told me that Kin was supposed to be a part of my life too. I could have them both.
Forcing myself to stop looking at the picture on my phone, I pulled up my contacts list and found Kin’s number. I should have deleted it when I moved, but I was glad I hadn’t. I hit connect and put the phone to my ear. It rang and rang until I was eventually sent to voicemail. I hung up and tried again.
Three more times and with each one of them I was sent straight to that damn voicemail. Fuck. She was probably still pissed. Grimacing, I waited for her voice to fade on the greeting and left a message. “Kin…” I cleared my throat. “We need to talk, baby. Call me back. Fuck, I’ve missed you.”
Lowering my phone, I hit end and sent her a text. The message quickly showed that she had gotten it, but she didn’t text me back. I wasn’t expecting her to, but it didn’t keep me from hoping. Kin was stubborn as hell and while most of the time I thought that was cute, it annoyed me right then.
I must have dozed off, because the next thing I remembered, early morning light was shining through my window and my phone was buzzing. Hoping it was Kin, I reached for it blindly and lifted it to my ear. “Kin?”
There was a long pause before I heard a harsh exhale. “Nope, sorry, dude.”
Harris. Disappointment washed over me and I clenched my jaw before forcing my eyes open and glaring at the ceiling. “What’s up, man?”
“You bailed on me last night,” Harris grumbled.
“You didn’t seem to know I was there, bro. Who was the hot chick?” I remembered the brunette with all the curves and big brown eyes that I’d thought had been full of pain and maybe a little regret when she’d looked at my friend. “Lucy, right?”
“Lucy.” Harris blew out a tired sigh before chuckling with little humor. “She’s my best friend in the world, man. Or she was a million years ago. I’m heading over to her house after I pick Trinity up. Figure I need reinforcements to get me through her door. I have to talk to her about Jenna.”
Picturing Harris’s baby sister, I figured she could get him in to Fort Knox with those damn cute dimples that popped out every time the six-year-old smiled. Trinity looked just like her brother and father, with the exception of her blue-gray eyes that she’d gotten from her mother. “Yeah. Pretty sure she could
get you in anywhere, dude.”
“So…Kin?”
“It’s a long story,” I told him honestly, but didn’t tell him anything more. I wasn’t ready to talk about Kin to anyone except her. First I had to see her again.
“Like that, is it?” Harris’s laugh held actual humor this time.
“Yeah,” I muttered, rubbing my hand over my face.
“I’m getting Jenna into a rehab in Arizona. She leaves in the morning.”
As subject changes go, that was a good one. I sat up in bed, more than a little shocked that Harris had finally been able to talk his roommate into taking the first step to getting clean. “That’s great, man. It’s about time she got her act together.”
“It was under duress. I told her I was going to tell her brothers and Natalie if she doesn’t go. Only clincher is that she wants Tessa to stay in the apartment while she’s gone.” I could actually hear Harris gritting his teeth and knew why. Tessa was a toxic bitch. She would cause trouble for Harris and Jenna any way she could. “I can’t say no, because the apartment is half hers and I don’t want to give her a reason to back out of going.”
“You can crash here any time you need to,” I assured him as I sat up on the edge of the bed. Harris and Jenna had an apartment in the same building as I did a few floors up. The first year’s rent had been a present from Alicia when we’d moved out to California.
“Thanks. I might take you up on that before all this shit is over.”
I talked to him for a few more minutes until I heard movement in the apartment. Tossing my phone aside, I headed into my bathroom, stripping off the clothes I’d worn out and had ended up sleeping in. Thirty minutes later I was in the kitchen making a bowl of cereal and debating if I should call Kin again or find out where the hell she was staying.
“That’s a dark look. You scare the fuck out of me when you get that look in your eyes, man.”
I didn’t bother to lift my eyes from my phone as Gray moved around the kitchen making himself some breakfast and coffee in nothing more than a pair of boxers. Since I hadn’t heard any giggling this morning I figured he’d already gotten rid of his hookup from the night before.
After seeing Kin the night before, I was more pissed at Gray than ever. If he hadn’t filled my head with bullshit about Kin moving on without me if I gave her space, maybe I would have asked her to try the whole long-distance thing. I could have been faithful to her.
Now here she was in the same state with me and I didn’t have her.
Fuck.
“Talk to Kassa today?”
I grimaced. Kassa. No matter how pissed I got at Gray, just the mention of my sister’s name was the one—the only—thing that could get me to talk. “Yesterday.”
“She tell you Alicia has been having headaches?”
“Yeah,” I said with a nod. Kassa had told me she’d found Alicia in the bathroom throwing up from a bad migraine. I didn’t remember Alicia ever having migraines so I’d been worried ever since Kassa’s call. “She said she was going to try and get her to go to the doctor.”
“Good luck with that. You know how Alicia is. She isn’t going to go to the damn doctor unless she’s hogtied and dragged there.” Gray picked up his mug and swallowed half its scalding contents before filling it up again and taking a seat at the island across from me.
“If Kassa can’t get her to go I guess I’ll fly out there and drag her.” I wasn’t going to let this go without making sure my adopted mother was okay. Her being sick for any reason scared the hell out of me. Suddenly having severe headaches like that was freaking me the fuck out.
“Hell, man. If it comes to that I’ll go with you.”
I nodded, but didn’t say another word to him as I finished my breakfast. Alicia was like a mother to Gray, too. She’d treated him just as much like a son as she had me. I knew she was his second favorite person in the world, second only to Kassa.
After breakfast I called her to check in on Alicia. She’d set up an appointment for her the next morning and I told her to keep me informed. Relieved that Alicia was actually going to the doctor, I dropped down on my bed and pulled up my call history. Still nothing from Kin.
Cursing, I swiped my thumb over her name and lifted the receiver to my ear. It rang twice before going to voicemail, which told me loud and clear that she had sent me there after seeing my name pop up on her phone.
“Okay, baby. I get the message loud and clear. You’re still pissed. Good. It shows me that you still feel something.” I grinned even though I was disappointed. She wouldn’t have been so mad if she didn’t still care.
Right?
“I’ll give you a few days to cool off. Don’t think I’m giving up, though. I’ve missed you, Kin. Seeing you last night showed me that I was wrong, baby. I never should have let you go.”
Lowering the phone, I hit end and then reached for my pillow. Fuck this day. If I couldn’t get her to talk to me, then I’d catch up on some sleep.
Chapter 7
Kin
“I never should have let you go.”
My fingers were actually trembling as I listened to the message again.
For the tenth time.
“I never should have let you go.”
Asshole.
Dropping the phone on the bed, I rushed to get ready. Lucy and I were going out tonight after I’d twisted her arm. Hard. Her Aunt Emmie had told me that First Bass had an open mike night and I was excited to try out one of the songs I’d written since I’d arrived in California.
The fact that Jace St. Charles might be at the club didn’t bother me.
Much.
I was ready to see him again. After spending Sunday through Tuesday lying to myself that I was, I’d spent all day today talking Lucy into using her pull with the whole ‘name on the VIP list’ to get me in. Now I was going to walk in there, show Jace that I was just fine with him being in the same state with me once again, and sing the song I’d written for my mother.
That was all that really mattered. The song.
Thinking of the song I’d written had my heart twisting painfully, just as it always did when memories of my mother blindsided me.
Pulling on a pair of jeans that had seen better days but were my favorite, I threw on a white T-shirt, pulled on a leather vest over it and grabbed my phone and guitar case before heading downstairs. Lucy and Marcus would be there to pick me up soon and I didn’t want Lucy to have to come in to get me. Jillian was anything but nice to my friend, and the step-bitches weren’t any better. I put Jillian’s pettiness at how she treated Lucy down to the fact that Layla Thornton had used her pull in their social circles to ostracize Jillian out of more than one event over the years. Georgia and Carolina’s treatment of my friend was more of them not liking that Lucy still got noticed by the paps—something she hated—but my two step-bitches craved just as much as their mother did.
I was just about to open the door when it swung inward and Scott came in. He glanced up, saw what I was carrying and lifted a brow. “That looks too big for you to be carrying.”
I shrugged. “It’s not heavy.”
“Where are you headed?” he asked, and I paused long enough to look up at him. Since when did he care where I went or what I was doing? He was rarely home and when he was he was so far up Jillian’s ass I was sure he didn’t even remember I existed.
“Out with a friend,” I finally told him.
“Have fun,” he called over his shoulder as he headed deeper into the house.
“I’m out of this hell-hole, so yeah. I’m gonna have a blast,” I muttered to myself as I opened the door and stepped out onto the front step. With each passing day I regretted making my mother that stupid promise more and more. I knew she had wanted what she thought was best for me, to show me what it was like in my father’s world, but after the first two days I had learned fast that I hadn’t been missing anything. I wanted to be back in Virginia with Carter and the twins so badly I could taste the crisp fall air and
almost hear their laughter as we raked the multi-colored leaves that fell into the front yard.
Instead I was with people who didn’t want me to talk about my mother and how much I missed her. I was breathing salt-filled air and there were no trees, just a sandy beach and the Pacific Ocean in the back yard. I just wanted to go home.
Making sure I had my keys, I closed the door behind me just as Lucy’s Range Rover pulled into the driveway. I picked up the guitar case and practically ran toward the vehicle. Lucy greeted me with a grin and a hug and I soaked up the affection from her before settling back into my seat and fastening my seatbelt.
“You looked like you were escaping something worse than death when we pulled up,” Lucy said with a laugh as Marcus pulled out of the driveway and headed for L.A.
I laughed. “Yeah, well, I did. My dad had just gotten home. He actually talked to me.”
Her eyes widened. I hadn’t held back when I’d told her about how it was at home—no, not ‘home.’ That was never going to be home for me. Home was where you felt safe and loved. How it was at their house.
Of course I hadn’t held back when I’d told her about me and Jace on Monday, either. I hadn’t meant to unload it all on her, but she was just so easy to talk to and I hadn’t been able to keep the words in any longer.
It had taken longer than I had thought to get Lucy to go back to First Bass, however. She hadn’t told me what was up with her and that Harris guy, but it didn’t take a brain surgeon to realize they had history. Why else would her name be on a list that some people would kill to be on, yet she was reluctant to use?
The drive into the city was a long one, but since we both had a late curfew—one my mother would have lost her shit over if she knew about it—we didn’t have to worry. Lucy was quiet most of the ride but I didn’t push her to talk. I was going over the song that I was going to sing later and trying to remember the chords that I’d decided needed to be changed.
Thanks to Caleb, I had been playing guitar since I was six. His mother had been a music teacher and had gotten him hooked on learning instruments. He’d taught me how to read and write music and I’d bonded with him more than Angie because of our shared love of all things musical.