Time stands still. He makes love to me completely. Our hands grasp each other, touching, feeling. With every stroke inside me, he reaffirms his feelings, his eyes never leaving mine. So much stored in our hearts is being conveyed. I need what only he can give me. This fire is going to consume me; only ashes will be left. When the orgasm hits, I scream, reborn as his. My body continually grips him, holding on to the streaks of pleasure pulsating though me.
He rocks into me over and over, racing to join me. I can’t get his words out of my head. They keep me wrapped tightly in this euphoria. His grunt of release when he reaches his climax triggers another orgasm for me. We both give in to this tidal wave of sensual gratification. I rub my hand down his back, the sweat making it slippery beneath my fingers.
His head rests on my shoulder as he tries to regain his ragged breathing. My body is trapped beneath his and I love it. I choose not to move or seem uncomfortable, afraid of losing this feeling of protection. He said he loves me. The corners of my mouth lift of their own accord. He said he loved me several times. A laugh bursts from my lips.
He mumbles something unintelligible against my shoulder. I am pretty sure he sung it during our lovemaking. My laugh turns into a full-fledged giggle.
“What is so funny,” he says, raising up to look into my eyes.
I feel so relaxed, so… free. It is almost like I can take a deep breath and not worry anymore. His love is freeing. I bite my lip to stall my laughter as I stare into his beautiful eyes.
“You love me,” I whisper, his face directly above mine.
His cheeks redden and he nibbles on his own lip, which I find incredibly sexy. “Yeah, I do. And now, I am going to get you off this table, dressed, and to my bed so I can love you some more. Is that okay with you?” He lowers his mouth to mine.
“Yeah, it’s more than okay.” I say in between his decadent kisses.
The sun’s early morning rays slip through the window, falling softly across the bed. I hold my hand up to catch a ray of light as it splays over my fingers. My mind and naked body are fully satisfied after last night’s activities. Even the soft snoring next to me sounds musical. I have lost my everlovin’ mind. Happy isn’t just a state of mental awareness: it’s a whole new life for me.
He loves me. I stifle the laugh that builds in my chest, not wanting to wake him. I roll over to watch him sleep. He’s even more handsome to me now that I know how he feels. My body responds to him and I would like nothing better than to kiss his body awake, but I can’t. The clock doesn’t lie and I am going to be late for work as it is.
My mind wars with whether to alert him to my absence or let him rest. I’ll let him sleep. I turn to get out of bed, but his arms surround me, bringing me back to lie next to him.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asks, his voice groggy with sleep.
“Work. You kept me up all night and now I am going to be late,” I say, looking up at him as he leans on his side over me. I can’t stop smiling.
“You could play hooky, stay in bed with me all day,” he says, leaning down to kiss my lips.
“Don’t tempt me. Malik is already pissed at me. He thinks you are the big, bad wolf.”
“He does? You’ve never told me that.” He looks concerned at my words.
“It’s nothing. Malik is a great guy. He’s just trying to have my back,” I say, leaning up to kiss his lips, before rolling away.
“Stop,” he commands, pinning me against the bed on my side so I can’t get away.
He reaches for the hair covering the back of my neck. Brushing it to the side, he holds it away. My eyes close at the feel of his soft, wet lips touching the sensitive skin. His fingers trace the intricate tattoo at the base of my hairline. The silence in the room belies the tension that is building directly behind me.
“It’s an oval shape. Like… a football,” he softly says. His voice is barely a whisper. “Is that a number seven?”
“No, it’s just an oval with some line work,” I say, trying to squirm away from him. Jake’s tattoo is one that I don’t know if I can ever share with him or anyone. My past is going to be so painful to discuss with him when it comes time.
“Be still,” he says. “Please. Just lie here for a second and let me hold you.”
“I’ll be late,” I say, sliding from his arms as they release me. I reach for my clothes scattered around the bedroom floor. It takes a couple of trips around the room before I finally find everything and am able to dress with all but my panties that he kept. I don’t button my shirt because my new tattoo stings after the over-enthused bed play we partook in all night long.
“Keller, come here,” he says, sitting on the side of the bed. The sheet lies haphazardly across his lap.
I walk over to him, stepping in between his legs to stand. He places his hands on both of my hips bringing his lips to my bare abdomen. My heart aches to crawl back into bed with him. He presses his stubbly cheek against the same skin.
“I am going to talk to my boss today and see if I can’t disclose everything to you. I don’t want to wait a week.”
“You mean talk to your grandfather?” His words confuse me.
He looks up at me, propping his chin on my belly. “I love you, Keller.”
“I love you, too.” It slips from my mouth. The first time I have ever said it to him. I smile happily down.
He groans, then tries to pull me back in the bed. I laugh at his playful attempts.
“No. No, I have to go, Vin.”
“Damn it! Stop. Don’t call me…” he lets me go so that he can fall flat on the bed, covering his eyes with his forearm.
“Don’t call you today?” I ask, puzzled by what he is talking about.
“Will you come back tonight? Straight here after work? Please?” He sits up, pleading with me.
“Of course,” I reply, smoothing a wayward lock of brown hair from his forehead. I turn to leave before I lose my willpower. This is crazy happiness. I stroll out to my car, humming. He has me. There is no other answer.
The entire ride home, I can’t think about anything but last night. A memory of him chanting that he loves me makes me grin. His lovemaking was everything and more than I could have dreamed. I don’t want to imagine moving on without him. We have to make it work.
I arrive at my apartment with barely fifteen minutes to get ready for my shift at Screaming Ink. My feet hit the pavement running as I rush up the steps. It takes me less than a minute to slip the key into the lock to open the door. When I walk in, my heart crashes to the ground, taking my world with it.
“Hey, Hels.”
“It’s been a long time. Miss me?” Hold asks, sitting in the center of my tiny couch, his fingers steepled in front of him.
I glance behind me to see Mikey closing the door with a sense of finality, his demeanor diminishing any thought of my trying to make an escape. I turn back toward Hold. The man who sits stoically before me looks familiar, yet different. He seems the same, but there is nothing left of the boy I knew in that man’s face. I don’t even recognize those steel blue eyes that glare at me now. I swallow convulsively, scared for my life. This is going to have to play out. No one may know how I escaped that night, not even Mikey.
“Yes,” I answer honestly.
He gives a bitter laugh. “Yeah, that’s pretty obvious. What are you doin’, Hels?”
“Living here. Not bothering anybody.”
“No. What. Are. You. Doing? You should have fuckin’ moved on months ago. Ward woulda never caught up to you. You broke two of the main rules: never stay in one place long and leave the damn tattooing alone. Was that so fuckin’ hard to do?”
Oh, no. They have been watching me. They know my friends, my job, Vin. I have to warn him. I have to warn all of them.
“Now I see in your face you know exactly what I’m talkin’ about. Ward has been having you watched for about two months. There was a reason we couldn’t just pick you up. And the funny thing is, it mighta saved your li
fe because it proved to us that you don’t have a clue about what is goin’ on. You’re in high demand, Hels.”
“What are you talking about?” I whisper, afraid of his answer.
“This is fuckin’ hilarious,” Mikey says, laughing behind me. “Tell her, Hold.”
“Not yet. Did you pack her shit up?”
“It’s in the truck. All but some clothes scattered around. We are ready to rock and roll,” Mikey says, turning to open the door so that he can walk outside.
Hold stands up, his formidable stance causing me to automatically back up. My pulse beats frantically against my throat. He silently marches toward me, stopping when he is directly in front.
“Do you remember our last conversation? I know you do because we couldn’t find you for years.”
“I was tired of running,” I say, glancing up at him.
“So you were ready for me to find you. Is that what you’re sayin’? Because that’s what it sounds like to me,” he says, leaning down. His mouth is only inches from mine. “Do you remember your promises to me?”
I turn my face, not wanting to be in such close proximity to him after just leaving Vin. It feels… wrong. His finger finds my chin, forcing my face back to him.
“Answer me, Hels. Those promises may be the only difference between livin’ and dyin’. Do you fuckin’ remember?”
“I remember,” I say through gritted teeth. “And I kept that promise I made to you.” I stare into his eyes, letting him see the truth.
“I knew I could trust you,” he finally says, leaning down to plant a light kiss on my lips.
I am too afraid to push away from him, but I don’t open my mouth either. My eyes stay glued to his until he steps back.
“Let’s go. Gimme your keys,” he says, reaching for them.
I hand them over. Oh, shit! “I need to go to the restroom first,” I say, realizing that I have not a stitch of underwear on… and I don’t want to tell Hold.
“Hurry,” he says, staring at me. “Hels, don’t try anything funny… or else.”
In a daze, I walk toward my bathroom with Hold close on my heels. I pray that Mikey left me some clean undies lying around. When I reach for the door handle to close it behind me, Hold slaps it back open. He turns to face away, offering me the only privacy I am going to get. I glance around to find that nothing but a dirty t-shirt and a pair of jeans lay on the hamper. I reach for the jeans; they are better than nothing at all.
I actually make use of the toilet before sliding my pants on. My hands shake with fear, which slows my actions. He doesn’t say anything while I wash my hands, but I feel him getting antsy.
“We gotta get outta here,” he says, grasping my arm and pulling me out of the apartment and down the steps.
There is no question of me fighting or escaping him. I remember everything I promised him. A guy stands beside my car wearing the MC cut with a prospect patch across the back of it.
“Follow behind us,” he says, tossing my keys to him. “Keep the fuck up.”
He leads me to a newer Ford black truck, opening the dual cab doors. He helps me into the backseat, sliding in next to me.
“Don’t get any ideas of jumping out. Child locks,” he says, closing the door.
Mikey opens the door and climbs in. He looks back at us. “Hell, this ain’t no Driving Mrs. Daisy.”
“Just drive,” Hold says, warning him.
“Alright, boss,” he sarcastically adds.
I glance over to notice that Hold’s Hell’s Highwaymen cut says Vice President across the patch. So he made it. I am in no way happy for him. I look down to realize that he has my cell phone in his hand.
“Okay, we call your work first since you are scheduled to be there this morning.”
“How do you know?” I am completely taken aback that he knows my work schedule.
“That part is simple. We call to make fake appointments. We always knew your work schedule.”
My stomach sinks at this knowledge.
“You are going to call work and tell them that you have an emergency back home and are leaving town for a while. If you mention anything out of the ordinary, we will kill the strange-hair girl up front,” Hold casually says.
My heart sinks at his words. I know that he means them. I watch him find the correct phone numbers stored in my phone and dial it. He hands it over to me. I listen to the sound of several rings before someone answers.
“Screaming Ink. This is Ginger speaking.”
“Hey, Ginger. It’s Keller,” I say, trying my best to sound normal.
“Hey, girl. Guess who had an incredible night last night? You, I’m hearing,” she says, laughing at her own joke. “Where are you at? You should be here already.”
“Listen, I have a family emergency. I am going to be out of town for a while.”
“I didn’t know you had any family. I thought you were an orphan?” Her voice sounds funny.
“It’s extended family. Anyway, I’ll be gone for a little while. Can you let Malik know?”
“Uh, wait just a second,” she says.
“Ginger, no. I really need to go,” I say, but she is already telling someone what I just told her. Great.
“Where are you?” Malik asks, getting on the phone.
“Hey, I’m already on my way. I only found out this morning and have to rush home.”
“Keller, if someone is watching you right now, just say yes, and I’ll call the police,” Malik says, his voice sounding worried.
“No, Malik. Really, it’s personal stuff. I’ll call you in a couple of days.”
“Where are you going?”
“I’ll call soon,” I say, hanging up on him. I can’t stop the tears that fill my eyes. These are my friends.
“Attachments were not part of the deal. What were you thinking, Hels, or should I say Keller? Nice one by the way,” he says, winking at me.
“I wasn’t thinking,” I answer, looking out the windows. “Are you going to let me call him and say goodbye?” I know Hold must know where and with whom I spent last night. “He restores houses and will be moving on soon anyway.”
He and Mikey die laughing at my words. What is going on? Oh, no. No. NO! What did they do? My heart sinks, knowing what the MC is capable of. I attack Hold sitting across from me.
“NO!” I scream in his face, digging my fingernails into the flesh of his arm, tearing it. “You had him killed, didn’t you? You bastard!” I start sobbing as I fight him, my soul shredding to pieces.
“Stop it, Hels. Goddamn it! STOP!” He captures my arms, pinning them painfully behind me.
I continue to buck my body against his. Mikey hands him something from the front seat and he places it tightly around my wrists behind my back. I blindly fight as my heart is ripped from my chest.
“Now stop kicking me unless you want your feet zip-tied also,” he says, wiping the blood away from the deep scratches I inflicted.
I slide as far on the seat from him as possible. My chest heaves from my aching sobs.
“Calm the fuck down. He’s safe. In fact, that bastard is safer than you are at the moment.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, sniffing my tears back. If Hold says he is safe, then I know he’s alive.
“If you want him to stay that way, you are going to start from the beginning and tell me everything. How you met. What he says he does for a living. Who he talks to every day. Got it?”
I don’t hesitate to tell Hold everything. If it keeps Vin safe, then I’ll give him anything he wants. I start from the beginning, only leaving out the personal details between us.
A half an hour later, I finish. Mikey glances in the rearview mirror at me before staring straight ahead again. I watch him take his cell phone and call someone.
“Hey. It’s Mike. Her story is exactly as we thought. Yes, sir, we are on our way. I’ll let Hold know,” he says, flipping the phone closed. He turns to glance over his shoulder at Hold. “It’s set up just how you wanted it. I ho
pe you know what you’re doing.”
Hold nods at him, before looking at me. “He lied to you.”
“What are you talking about? Vin lied to me? About what?” I didn’t tell Hold that I knew Vin had secrets. Of course, I thought they were all personal secrets. Nothing like mine.
“Hand me the pictures, Mikey. What’s that sayin’? Oh yeah, a picture is worth a thousand words,” he says, reaching for whatever Mikey is handing him. “These were sent from one of our guys a couple of years ago when we needed information on him.”
He leans over to show me an eight by ten picture. In it are a bunch of guys standing around in blue jackets with big yellow lettering that reads ATF AGENT. At first, I don’t know what I am looking for, until I see him. Vin. He is the third from the left. He’s smiling my smile, probably laughing at what one of them is saying while he wears his matching jacket.
Oh my God! I shudder from the pain that racks my body. The tears fall freely from my eyes. I cry from the searing pain of my heart breaking. No! Please, no! I lean my head against the window, wishing that I could die. I can’t stop the sobs that convulse my body. The sting of betrayal is an old friend of mine. I should be used to it, but this one hurts more than all those before it.
“He’s a fuckin’ Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms agent. And that’s not all, Hels,” Hold says quietly beside me. “Ask me his name.”
I shake my head. I don’t want to know. It doesn’t matter anymore.
“Ask me his goddamn name!” He yells at me.
“What?” I cry, looking at him through the tears.
“His name is Luke Carrity. Ring any bells?”
Carrity. I look away, scrabbling for oxygen.. Oh, no. Oh, NO! Jake. My eyes lift to Hold’s.
“He’s Jake’s older half-brother.”
“This can’t be,” I say, dazed. “I watched him restore that house myself. I saw him. He’s an artist like me. I watched him use his own hands.” I try to convince Hold.
“Cover story. He’s obviously been undercover trying to get information. I should have known he would go looking for you,” he says, throwing the pictures between us. “The bastard came to Harmony asking questions about Jake’s death right after you left. He didn’t lie about who he was or worked for. He flat out told me that he was working deep undercover out of the country when Jake died. When he returned home after the funeral, he found voicemails on his home phone from Jake. Evidently, Jake was in love with a girl named Helen who needed help.”