I ducked my head and disappeared from her sight. Whatever they did from here on out, it had nothing to do with me. I was no longer a part of their family.
*
Austin moved back in with them, and I learned from his text messages that all things were good in their household. For some reason, that sickened me. Shelly had tried contacting me, but Tray became my guard dog. She showed up at the house a few times, and he would ask her to leave. She would call and send text messages, but I never answered. I should’ve. That would've been the adult thing to do, but I wasn’t ready to listen to any justifications or promises filled with empty words.
A week later, I shut my locker and started for the parking lot, but stopped. Jennica stood by her locker. She was a beautiful girl with almond eyes, dark black hair, and an olive complexion, but at that moment her eyes were strained. Her lips were pressed tight and she had a heated look in her eyes.
I waited and lifted an eyebrow.
“Mandy dumped Devon last night.”
My other eyebrow shot up, but I kept my shock hidden.
“I’m sure you’re ecstatic about that.”
I gestured to my face. “You can’t see it, but I’m doing somersaults on the inside.”
She grunted and flicked a strand of hair out of the way. “She dumped me too.”
Now I really was doing somersaults on the inside. “Really?”
“And Amber.” Jennica’s lips pressed together again and she looked away. It was the last day of the week. The hallway was emptying. “She’s done with us. She told us last night.” She crossed her arms over her chest. Her chin went down and she fixed me with a stare. “So congratulations. You got what you wanted.”
I sighed and shook my head. “Having my sister lose her friends is not what I wanted.”
Jennica paused.
I continued, “I want my sister to have good friends, friends who are true to her, who care about her, who treat her right. That’s what I wanted and if you’re the friend who’s going to change and do that, I’m all for it.” I shook my head. “But I highly doubt you know how to be a true friend, so yes, I am glad that she ended her friendship with you. Would you want your sister to be friends with someone like you?”
She frowned, biting her lip.
I put my bag over my shoulder. Tray was waiting for me and I nodded to him. “I have to go.”
“Wait.”
I started past her, but stopped and turned.
She rolled her eyes. “Look, I know I’m a shitty friend, but I do care about Mandy. Just let her know that. Please?”
“I will.”
“Taryn.”
I glanced back again.
“Can you let me know how she’s doing? I know I have no right, but...” Her head went back down and she looked away.
I nodded. “You care about her.” I was beginning to see that.
She nodded. “Thanks.” The corners of her mouth curved up in a small grin. She looked grateful.
“You do care about her, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I do. I don’t show it, but I do.”
I shook my head. “Then why the hell do you treat her how you do?”
She frowned, then lifted a shoulder up. “I don’t know. It’s the cool thing to do.”
“It’s not.” Disappointment flooded me. “Treating people like you do is the farthest thing from being cool. Stop lying to yourself. If you want a good friend, be a good friend. That’s all there is to it.”
She rolled her eyes and scoffed, “Yeah, right. What do I do when someone treats me how I treat people? Better to be the bitch on top than to be the bitch who gets kicked around. Come on, Taryn. You’re lying to yourself if you think people are going to be the good friend that you think. Do you not know people? They’re all assholes. They lie. They think they’re better than others. They manipulate. There’s no good friends out there.”
“Yeah.” I clapped for her. I was drawing attention to us, but I ignored them. “People do shitty things. Welcome to the real world. It happens, but you keep doing what you want done to you and someday, it’ll happen.”
She looked away.
I shook my head. “Keep doing what you’re doing. I’m sure you’ll land a wealthy husband who will cheat on you your whole marriage…with the women you meet for lunch. That’s where you’re headed.”
“Taryn,” Tray said from close behind me. I felt his hand on my shoulder and turned, taking it in my hand, I held it.
I gripped it hard as I said to her, “I’ll give you updates on Mandy, but to answer your initial question, yes. I’m happy. She’s clearing out people who have treated her horribly. That’s a good sign.”
I left before she could say anything more. I didn’t want to hear it because it didn’t matter. Mandy was getting better. Somehow, that helped me. All the anger and darkness I felt for Jace shifted and hope blossomed inside of me. I didn’t know if it would stay long, but it felt good having it back there. That meant some things were changing. Some things could change.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Mandy stayed in rehab for another thirty days, but she called the night before to let me know she was getting released. There was a ceremony and she invited me to come, but her parents would be there.
I wasn’t ready to see them. So, instead, knowing they would be there and at Mandy’s side, I went to the school’s pool. I wasn’t a thief anymore. I hadn’t been in a long time so my trips to the pool were increasing. They had an Olympic sized one, unlike Tray’s that was half its size, so once I dove in, I could really let my mind go.
When I finished my last lap, a light was on in the corner office, but as I got out of the pool and went to my bag, it switched off. The door opened and Coach Hayes nodded at me. He shut the door, tested the knob, and headed towards me. He was dressed in a navy blue mesh coat over khaki shorts. A Rawley Swim Team cap was pulled down low over his eyes. Stopping in front of me, he frowned at me. “You didn’t come to try-outs.”
I stiffened. “I was busy.”
He nodded. “I get that. Everyone’s busy.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Then why do I feel like you’re giving me a hard time?”
He grinned. “I’m not.” He held his hands up, a clipboard in one. “I heard about your sister and something else, someone close to you died?”
“My ex-boyfriend.”
“Yeah, that’s it. Some of the teachers were confused. They weren’t sure of the relation.”
I frowned. “You guys talk about me in the teacher’s lounge?”
“Yeah.” He hiked up his pants. “Don’t feel all special because of it. They talk about a lot of things, but you were a hot topic for a while.”
I finished drying myself off, still frowning, before I dropped the towel and reached for my clothes. “I’m not sure if special is the word I would use.”
“Come on. Everyone thought you were another foster kid.”
I scowled. “What? Another kid riddled with problems?” I raised my chin up, tugging my shirt over my head at the same time. “Because I do, you know. I have enough baggage to fill up a jet.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Why are you telling me that?”
I shrugged, bent over, and pulled up my shorts. “I figured you should know.”
“You missed try-outs. There’s no reason I need to know.”
“And what if I asked for another chance?”
He shrugged, looking pensive. “That’d be interesting.”
I chewed on my lip, studying him. He wasn’t giving anything away, but I caught a spark in his eyes. I couldn’t tell for sure, but my gut was telling me he was thinking about it. For some reason, I wanted a second chance more than anything at that moment.
I said, “It’d be good for me. I’d have a purpose, you know.”
He laughed, took his hat off, ran a hand through his hair, and tugged the hat back on. He shook his head. “I’m not one of those coaches who look for projects to nurture. I don’t care about the underd
og kind of kid. I maybe should. I know if some other teachers heard that from me, they’d take up their self-righteous torches, but you don’t strike me as a kid that cares about bullshit.”
“If I wanted someone to bullshit me, I’d still be in the Parson household. They’re awesome at pretending every pile of shit is dyed gold.”
He barked out a laugh, then caught himself. “You’re something else, Matthews. You think you deserve another shot?”
He was serious. I could tell he was no longer fooling around. He meant it. I nodded. “No, sir. I don’t, but I’d appreciate a shot.”
“You don’t think you deserve it?”
“I don’t deserve anything, but like I said. I’d appreciate a shot.”
He grunted. “You’re like a breath of fresh air. I don’t think I could stand another self-entitled student.”
Did that mean what I thought it meant…
He nodded. “You got your spot, Matthews.”
He started for the door, his car keys in hand. As he was almost there, I called out, “So I can try-out?”
“No.” He turned, using his back to open the door, grinning at me. “You’re on the team. I’ve been watching your speeds the last hour and I already know you’ll smoke my best swimmers.” He paused with the door on his back. He had one foot still in the pool area and the other out the door. The grin faded and he grew somber. “I wasn’t bullshitting you before when I said you have talent. I don’t know why you haven't been swimming this whole time, but this could be a future for you, Matthews. If you work at it, that is.”
He had been watching me and I was on the team, just like that. I stood there, my insides all wrapped up around each other, stunned by how quick I’d been given this shot. Brian would’ve been proud. That was the first thought in my head. Then I remembered he was gone and my jaw tightened. My hands turned into fists. Just like that, in such a short span of time, I felt on top of the world and then my chest was tight. The anger was pounding through me again.
When I left the pool, I heard my name called out, “Taryn!”
Shelly had been waiting for me. She got out of her car, raised her hand, and waved. “Taryn! Hold on.” Then she ran to me.
I rolled my eyes.
“Hey, honey.”
Reaching for the car, I tossed my bag inside and turned around. “You look ridiculous.”
She frowned and pressed a hand to her chest. She was wearing a light scarf and it was billowing in the wind. Her hand settled it down, but she tugged at her sweater, closing it around her, and then smoothed out her skirt. With a string of pearls around her neck, her diamond earrings, and a pair of three inch heels, she looked ready for either a socialite dinner or church.
The corners of her mouth dipped down, but she lifted her chin again. It was like she had reaffirmed herself about something. She nodded and her shoulders dropped down to a ready position. “I can understand if you’re upset with me.”
“What are you doing here?” I didn’t want to hear anything she said. It would all sound pretty, but it would all be a lie. “Mandy called. She said you’re supposed to be at her graduation ceremony.”
She swallowed with an audible gulp. “That’s why I’m here. Kevin and Austin went. I came to see you.”
“Why?”
“Because they’re with one daughter. I’d like to be with the other one. And,” she gave me a timid smile, “I’d like to ask if you’d come to the house? We’re having a small get-together for Mandy. All her friends are invited. Everyone wants to celebrate how wonderful she’s done.”
I smirked. Of course. “You’re an idiot. You believed Kevin’s lie about adopting me and now this? Mandy dumped her friends. Wanna know why? Because they’re assholes. I hope you didn’t invite Devon, Jennica, and Amber? Mandy’s done with them and I’m proud of her for doing that.”
She blinked rapidly, as if shocked, then she forced a smile on her face. “Of course. I invited her friend Tristan and anyone Austin told me that was ‘cool.’” Her cheeks pinked and she laughed softly. “He told me to trust him with the invites so I did. If he invited anyone you don’t think should come, we can still toss them out. No one will impede on my daughter’s well-being.”
I was watching her. I cursed. “You mean it.”
She blinked, and her eyebrows bunched forward. “Of course, I do. Why wouldn’t I?”
“Kevin lied to you. You were brainwashed to adopt me. Are you not getting that?”
She shook her head. “No, Taryn. I wasn’t brainwashed and I wasn’t manipulated. I wouldn’t have taken you in if I hadn’t wanted to.” She stepped close. Her hands lifted and she took hold of my shoulders. Leaning forward, her voice lowered to a hoarse whisper, “The moment I saw your picture, I fell in love with you. Then I read your file and I fell even more in love.” Her fingers curled into me, holding on tight. “I am not happy with my husband. There are things we have to work out, but I am happy about you. I am so thankful that you’re a part of our family.” A tear slid down her cheek. She ignored it, giving me another shaky smile. “I’m not as blind as you think. I can see that Austin’s hurting. When we picked him up, he didn’t want to come home. He’s your fiercest defender in the house. He asks us every day when you’re coming home. And Mandy...” She closed her eyes. When they opened, there were fresh tears there. “I’m ashamed that I haven’t reached her like you have. I’m ashamed that so much was going on in my house and I never did anything about it.”
The tears. The heartfelt proclamation. I bit back a smart ass retort and fought from rolling my eyes. Then I couldn’t help it. It slipped out. “For real?”
“What?”
Her hands uncurled from my arms and she moved back a step. Searching my face, she saw the disbelief on my face.
I shook my head. “Who do you think I am? You really thought I would fall for that act?” I couldn’t forget the history. She left me with Austin. She took off whenever her husband called for her. Her daughter was a drug addict. “You shouldn’t be ashamed by what your husband has done. You should be furious. You should leave him.”
“Taryn,” she started.
“No.” I moved further away from her. “You’re one of the worst kinds of people. You’re the kind that sees something horrible has happened and you sweep it under the rug. You want it to go away so your life isn’t interrupted.”
Tears were rolling down her face, but it was like she didn’t feel them. She stared back at me. Her eyes were unblinking. There was a glazed look in them.
“Look at me. I’m the one who survived not having a family and I’m schooling you how to fix yours.” I snorted, feeling an empty void open in me again. “I can’t undo how I feel about Mandy and Austin. I already love them, but I’m thankful now that no relationship was built between you and me, or Kevin and me. So thank you for being shitty adoptive parents. You did me a favor.”
I sat in my car after that and waited. Shelly stood there, pale as a zombie, for a few more minutes before her phone rang. As she answered it, I heard her words muffled through the window, “I’m coming, honey. No…” Then she turned and went to her own vehicle.
I sat there, even after she drove off. I couldn’t bring myself to leave.
*
I hit the punching bag. They lied to me. It barely moved so I hit it again. They didn’t care that they lied. I gritted my teeth. My fist tightened and I rolled my shoulder back, lifted my wrist again, and bent forward into the stance. One foot was in front, the other behind, and I was on my toes. I was ready to switch them, jab back and forth, and bounce back as the bag should’ve been swinging to me.
Nothing.
With a deep growl, I hit it as hard as I could. It moved an inch.
“You’re using your arm.”
“Duh.” I didn’t look as Tray came into the room. He left the lights off, so the only light on was the small lamp positioned over the punching bag. Sweat rolled down my back and I’d lost my shirt long ago. Standing in my black sports bra and
a pair of boy shorts, I felt fine. I was heated, but not overheated with the air conditioner in the room.
He circled around me. I glanced down, saw he had kicked his shoes off as well. After another moment of studying me, he took his shirt off too. He tossed it to the corner, then tilted his head to the side, and his hazel eyes narrowed at me. A slight smirk lifted the corners of his lips. As he stood there, his muscles clenched. His chest lifted and he breathed in, his stomach muscles clenched in and then out. There was hardly an ounce of fat on him.
We’d been sharing a bed for two months now, but as I drank him