“Remember what you did with that fucking chump, Pete?” I gasped, remembering the day he showed me just how much of a monster he could be. The part of him of which I was afraid.
When he saw my reaction, he smiled. “You owe me for that, Livy. I know you want time. I know you want to go ahead with your little mission, but I need something only you can do for me. Don’t you want to please me?”
His words hit between my legs, making me moan again. “Yes,” I breathed, unable to hide how I felt towards him. My lord and master.
Grabbing my hand, Uncle pushed it towards his hardness. He hissed when I grabbed, closing his eyes when I started rubbing him. I wanted to do this. I wanted to please him. After all, he had done so much for me.
I owed him.
Above all that, I wanted this. I wanted it because my body was reacting to every single touch he gave me.
“Tell me, Livy. Tell me you haven’t sucked anyone’s cock?” His breathing was harsh against my face as I shook my head.
“No,” I whispered.
Uncle smiled. “Good. At least that one can be reserved only for me. I want you on your knees for me, Livy. I want you to take me in your mouth and swallow my come. Then, and only then, I will please you. Do you want me to please you, Livy?”
I nodded. “Y...Yes,” I stuttered, barely able to get the word out. He was stroking my arms in a way that filled me with fire. I wanted him to go further. I wanted him to take away the ache between my legs.
Uncle cupped my chin and looked me in the eyes. “I will teach you everything you need to know. You will have nothing to fear with me, Livy.” Grabbing my hand, he coaxed me towards his zipper. He gently squeezed my breast and swiped his thumb across my hard nipple. I moaned loudly and was rewarded with a bright smile.
As I guided my hand down into his trousers, I pulled his throbbing cock out and marvelled at its length. With my hand wrapped around him, I stroked, causing Uncle to hiss through his teeth.
“Fuck, baby. You know how to make your man feel good.” He gently pushed at my shoulder so I was kneeling down. Once on the floor, I looked at his impressive size and noticed how angry it looked. It was throbbing, aching to be touched. I wanted to touch it. I wanted to put it in my mouth. I had never done that before, but my body screamed at me to take him.
As I caressed his balls, Uncle moaned and gently placed his fingers underneath my chin, tilting my head so I looked into his eyes.
“You know what to do,” he whispered, as I took him into my mouth.
A couple days had gone by with no sign of Kit. I worried about him, and because I worried, I got angry. He told me he wasn’t going to disappear like that again, but he had. A part of me wanted to get over it and move on, but another part of me wanted to know he was okay, wanted to shout at him until my throat became sore. And, the irony of that was, my throat really was sore.
Four days later, I woke up feeling like I’d been punched over and over again. My throat was dry and my body felt weak. I still got up, though. I still went through the motions, getting the hot drinks and walking to the soup kitchen. I was supposed to work tonight, but I didn’t know whether I could.
Once I got to the steps, I sneezed.
“Bless you.”
I looked over to find Rachel sitting there with Wayne. She looked a lot better now. Her face was still swollen, but it was going down. At least she could see out of that eye now.
“Thank you.” I wobbled a bit and Wayne quickly got up to steady me.
“Whoa. Steady, girl.”
Rachel got up and felt my head. “Wayne, she’s burning up.” She took the drinks from me and placed them on the steps.
“I’ll take her home.”
I shook my head. “I’m fine. I just need some paracetamol and I’ll be good.”
Rachel took my arm. “Oh no, girl. You need to go to bed and rest for a few days. You’ve got the flu or something.”
I pointed to the soup kitchen. “I can’t. I need to make sure everyone gets fed.”
Rachel pulled at me. “Everyone will get fed. Now, come on.” She looked over at Thomas. “Thomas, tell Tammy that Olivia’s not well and she’s going home.”
Thomas got up and smiled. “Will do. Get better, Olivia.” He marched off and I looked back at Rachel.
“This is silly.”
Rachel shook her head. “It’s not silly. You need to get better. Now come.”
Reluctantly, I left, Wayne on one side and Rachel on the other. “Thank you,” I said to both of them.
Rachel shrugged me off. “You don’t need to thank me, dear. We care about you.”
I smiled. “You should have had children.”
She looked sad for a moment. “I did. I had a daughter. She would have been about your age by now. In a sense, you remind me of her.”
“What happened to her?”
She shook her head and sighed. “Drugs happened to her. She was only nineteen when she died. She was the only family I had left. A part of me died that day.”
I flinched, thinking back to that awful day Uncle found me lying in my own vomit. I could have easily choked and died that night. I was fortunate enough to have that second chance, but the life of Rachel’s daughter was taken from her, never to return.
I placed my hand on her arm. “I’m so sorry to hear that, Rachel.”
She shrugged. “It is what it is, and I can’t take that day back. Lord knows, I would love to, but I can’t.”
We walked in silence the rest of the way. Once we reached my door, I turned and thanked them.
“Don’t mention it. Just go in, take a bath, and get something to eat before bed. Please, take care of yourself, Olivia. For all of us.”
When I saw the sincerity in her eyes, I nearly cried. I nodded. “I will. Thank you.” They smiled and walked away.
As soon as I got in the house, I did as Rachel instructed. I drew myself a bath, heated up some soup, and popped a couple of tablets. Once all that was out of the way, I phoned Charlie to tell him I couldn’t make it tonight. He sounded disappointed, but wished me well and told me to let him know the minute I was better. After hanging up, I went straight to bed.
*****
I was shivering and couldn’t seem to get warm. I wanted to sleep, but when I did, visions of my father putting a gun to his head haunted my dreams. So I tried to stay awake. The whole time I was lying there shivering, all I could think about was Kit. I couldn’t understand what he meant when he said something about my husband not giving me what I needed. I had been going over that in my head for a couple days, but more so now that my brain seemed to zero in on that one thing. So I could either sleep and have nightmares, or stay awake and have daymares. Either way, I was screwed.
When I thought it couldn’t get any worse, I started to have visions that Kit was snuggled up behind me, trying to keep me warm. But no matter how comforted I felt, I was still angry that he ran away and didn’t turn up for days.
“You left me. I asked you not to go, but you left me.”
I felt his beard at the base of my neck. Funny how I could feel in my vision.
“I know. I’m sorry. I was afraid I hurt you, and I don’t want to hurt you.”
I sighed and closed my eyes. Suddenly, I felt warmer. “You hurt me when you leave me.”
He tightened his grip around me. “I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere. I’m here to make sure you get better. You were there when I needed you. Now it’s time to return the favour.”
My eyes started becoming heavier. “You have new clothes in the bag. Make sure the shadowman doesn’t get into the house.”
*****
I didn’t know how long it had been since I fell asleep, but when I woke up, the sun was shining. I moved, groaning when I realised how painful it was. It was like a thousand nails were digging into my skin. My throat was dry and sore, and my body was weak.
Remembering my vision of Kit, I turned to see if he was in bed with me. There was no sign of him and all w
as quiet.
I groaned again. It was just a vision. Despite how ill I felt, I was really disappointed. The thought of him taking care of me was something I would love to come true. Maybe my subconscious was being very cruel to me. I couldn’t stay awake and I couldn’t sleep. Everything seemed to haunt me.
I lay there for a while. I wondered what time it was, but I was scared to move. I was so thirsty, and the more I thought about water, the more my throat felt like it was on fire.
Deciding I needed to get up, I tilted my head to look at the time. It was after nine o’clock.
“Shit!” I shot up, instantly regretting it.
Moaning, I looked over, seeing a figure drying his hair with one of my towels. I screamed and the figure dropped the towel from his face. Kit ran towards the bed and placed his hands on my shoulders.
“Olivia, it’s okay. It’s me.”
He was leaning over me, a worried expression on his face. Without thinking, I lifted my hand up to his face, feeling the soft hairs on his chin. Kit remained still, watching and staring. Despite how ill I felt, his stares never failed to grip me. I noticed his hair was a little tousled from the shower, and now that it was damp, the colour of it made his grey-blue eyes shine all the more. I was so overwhelmed, I swallowed hard and the pain in my throat screamed out to me.
Pulling my hand away, I gripped my throat, wincing. Kit got off the bed and grabbed a glass of water.
“Here. I made sure you had some when you woke up. I thought your throat might get sore.”
I smiled timidly and drank the water. It eased the burn, but every swallow was like a knife being wedged down there.
“Thank you,” I croaked, looking at the time. “I should have been at the soup kitchen ages ago.”
I felt the bed dip and I turned, finding Kit sitting next to me, holding out something. I held my hand out and he placed two pills in my palm.
“Take those and I’ll make you something to eat. You’re not going anywhere. You need to rest.”
He got off the bed and was about to walk out the door when I whispered, “You came to me last night.”
Kit stood still, but didn’t turn. “You weren’t at the soup kitchen yesterday. I asked them why and they told me you were sick. I had to come and look after you, but I didn’t know how. It was a little while later that I felt something different in my pocket. I saw the extra key and decided to see if it fit your front door. I didn’t want to wake you if you were sleeping, but I was worried about you being on your own if you were sick.”
I sat there. When I didn’t answer him, he turned around. “You asked someone about me?” I was flabbergasted. Kit never spoke to anyone.
He nodded. “I was worried when you weren’t there. You’re always there.”
“You notice me?” I felt shy all of a sudden, but I had to know.
“I’ve always noticed you, Olivia.”
We stared at each other for a moment. I just couldn’t understand him. “Why did you always ignore me then? Why did you never say anything to me?”
Kit winced a little and grit his teeth. He sighed, then his face relaxed a little. “It’s complicated. I can’t say.”
This man frustrated me to no end. I wanted him to tell me things. I wanted to know who he was, but I knew he wasn’t going to give in easily. I wanted to press, but I could also tell there was pain beneath his sultry eyes. I didn’t want to be the one to cause more of it.
Instead, I looked him over and saw he was wearing a new pair of jeans I bought him. “They fit you well,” I observed. I noticed they fit him too well, but I wasn’t going to divulge that piece of information.
He looked down, fidgeting with the towel in his hand. “Umm…thanks. You shouldn’t have gotten them, but thanks.” He turned to walk out the door, then stopped and turned back around with a frown. “Olivia, who’s the shadowman?”
Every part of me stiffened, wondering how he could know. “I don’t know what you mean.”
Kit scratched his head. “Last night, you told me not to let the shadowman into the house.”
I cursed myself for letting that one slip. I must have been delirious.
“In my house growing up, we had a lot of shadows. When I was a kid, I used to think the shadowman would get me.” I laughed, but I didn’t think any of it was funny. Part of what I said was true, but the shadowman wasn’t in my imagination. He was real. He was very, very real.
He studied me a moment, then smiled. “That makes sense.”
He walked out the door before I could say anything more so I lay back down, my head pounding. Whatever this was, it was a bitch.
I heard Kit downstairs in the kitchen. It was strange hearing noises in my house without me being the one to cause them. I couldn’t help but smile. The thought made me happy. I was even happier with the knowledge that it was Kit who was making that noise. I liked him, and I wanted to be with him. Every time he gave me something, I wanted more. I was even starting to contemplate how I could possibly make him stay for longer than he probably anticipated. No doubt he’d want to be off the minute he knew I was better.
With that thought still running through my head, Kit appeared with a tray full of food and tea. “How do you normally like your tea?” I asked.
Kit frowned at me for a moment before placing the contents on my bed. “Milk and two sugars.” I smiled widely. “Why are you smiling?”
“Because I guessed right on how you liked it.” I looked down at the toast and saw he had put a dollop of jam and butter on the side. “Thank you for this. You don’t have to go to all this trouble looking after me, but I appreciate it.”
Kit smiled, and I knew that was him offering me what he could. I loved his smiles. They just made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I wanted to know more, though. I needed more.
“What do you like, Kit? What is your favourite movie, or favourite book?” I knew I had to skirt around direct questions, but this would be a start. I buttered my toast and took a sip of my tea as I waited.
Kit shifted a little on the bed. “I haven’t seen a movie in a long time, but I used to read a lot of books. I like James Patterson, Dean Koontz, David Baldacci… They seem to be my favourites.”
My eyes widened. “Really? I love those authors. Lately, my choice has been romance, like Fifty Shades of Grey, The Blackstone Affair, that sort of thing.” I stopped abruptly and blushed when I realised how dirty he must think I am. “I mean… It’s not that I… It’s just that I like the romance behind it. I’m not into that kind of thing. I’m not a red room of pain kind of girl.”
Kit just stared at me as I waffled on, my cheeks flaming red as I continued my rambling, “Oh god. What must you think of me?”
I put my head down, feeling embarrassed. I seemed to get that a lot around Kit. When he didn’t say anything, I bit my lip and moved my eyes up so I could see his reaction. He was smiling again.
“Are you smiling at me?” He started laughing. Actual laughter. Right then, I wanted to jump out of bed and skip around my house. It was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard.
I smiled back and pushed at his arm. He started laughing harder. “It’s not funny!” It was hard to act all annoyed when I was laughing along with him.
“You have such a wonderful laugh.” I smiled, but it dropped the minute Kit stopped laughing and stared at me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”
I looked away and took a bite out of my toast. After eating one slice, I picked up my tea. “You make a nice cup of tea.” Kit smiled and bit into his own toast. “How long are you staying, Kit?”
He picked his cup up and drank a little from it before looking at me. “Until you get better.”
I smiled back at him, but there was a sadness there. I didn’t want him to leave once I got better. “You can stay as long as you want.”
Kit looked at me fiercely. “I’m not a charity case.”
My posture picked up. “I know you’re not.” I sighed. “Listen, Kit, is
it so absurd to think that I like you being here?”
“Why?”
I sighed again. “I don’t know why.”
Kit looked away for a moment, a pained look on his face. “You shouldn’t want me here.”
Now it was my turn to frown. “Why not?”
Kit got up and picked up the tray. “Because I’m not a good man.” He looked down at the tray and back at me. “Are you finished?”
I nodded and watched as he walked toward the door. Before he could walk through, I whispered, “I don’t believe you.” Kit stiffened slightly before making his way downstairs.
I didn’t know how I was going to get through to him, but I was damn well going to try.
Chapter 10
I was walking through my old house in Cambridge, looking for my father. I would be fifteen in a couple days and wanted to go out with some friends. Because we moved around so much, I didn’t usually make friends. I was hoping we could stick around this time so I could get to know them.
I was so happy at that moment because we had been able to stay longer than our average six months in this house. I was eager to see my new friends and was dying to ask my father if I could go. Wondering where he was, I started searching everywhere.
“Father? Father, where are you?”
I walked into our big kitchen, not seeing him there. I then walked into our living room, but all was silent.
“Father, please tell me where you are? I need to ask you something.”
Silence met me again, so I decided to search upstairs. I was about to climb up when I heard the bang come from his office. Panicking, I ran towards him, wondering if he had fallen and seriously hurt himself. Something told me the bang wasn’t a good one.
I ran through the halls, towards his office. “Father, are you o–” I opened the door and saw my father on the floor, a gun in one hand and his phone in the other. His head was bleeding and his lifeless eyes stared back at me.
“Dad!”
I woke up screaming and covered in sweat. I started to panic because I didn’t know where I was. I struggled as a set of arms held onto me tightly. I moaned and cried out, trying to get whomever it was off me.