“First, I have to ask if you could please keep this conversation between just the two of us.”
“Okay, James…you’re really kind of freaking me out here with all of the drama. I’m not going to have any gossipy chats with anyone about our conversation. That’s not how I roll.”
“I know.” He looked at the ground. “But I also know that archigos Gabriel shares your thoughts, and, well, I would like to live to see the end of the day.”
Her left eyebrow lifted. “Oookay. You’d better explain from the top.”
Nodding, he met her gaze and said, “I want to speak with you about Olivia.”
Now she looked mildly panicked. “Wait a minute here. Are you telling me that you’re about to explain why the two of you have been acting like beaten puppies these past couple weeks?”
He nodded again, though he had no idea what she meant by the whole “beaten puppies” comment.
She looked perplexed. “And you’re actually coming to me about this? Me?” She pointed to her chest as if to illustrate her meaning. “About this?” And here, she waved her hands around in a vague manner that he supposed was meant to include him and Olivia.
“Yes,” he said firmly. “Amber, you’re the only female I know who is avowed, married and in love. You are my best avenue for aid.”
“Oh, good Lord,” she managed. After running a hand through her already mussed hair, she seemed to give his point some consideration. Finally, she huffed out a breath. “Okay, okay. Fine. Spill it.”
“Thank you, Amber,” he said, truly grateful. Then he paused as he tried to figure out what to say. Finally, he just went right to the point. “I screwed up.”
“I could say something punchy like that’s usually the case when it comes to guys and girls, but I won’t kick you while you’re down.”
“Ah…okay.” He shook his head, bringing himself back on topic. “On the day that Aurora’s mate arrived, Olivia told me she loved me.”
When he paused, waiting for her response, she just stared at him. “Uh-huh. And?”
Her frankness caught him off-guard. She didn’t seem surprised at all. Had Olivia’s feelings been that clear to everyone else?
Pushing to his feet, he started pacing. “I reacted poorly. I had been thinking about how much I liked kissing her and was trying to figure out how I could do so again and then she said she loved me and I knew that archigos Gabriel was going to kill me.”
She took his quickly-spoken, rambling words in stride. “So, you were thinking about Olivia in a…we’ll say ‘sensual’ way, and when she said she loved you, you associated that with kissing her?”
“Yes. And I feared for my life.”
“Yeah, I got that part,” she said, waving away that concern with an ease he could only envy. “I’m guessing when Olivia told you she loved you, and you started imagining how Gabriel was going to react, that your response was…”
He threw his hands out to the sides helplessly. “I couldn’t even form a coherent thought. I pushed away from her to try and—”
She winced.
“What?” His voice rose in concern.
“Well, I hate to say it, but pushing away from her after she confessed such an important thing to you was the body language equivalent of a flat-out rejection.”
The words struck him like a blow to the gut. He had to sit back down. “I didn’t mean it that way. I wasn’t even thinking clearly. I thought—I don’t know why, but I thought I had done something to make her believe that she was in love with me, but she surely couldn’t mean it. How could I possibly deserve it? I thought she must be confused.”
She studied him silently for a moment when he abruptly stopped talking. “Do you think you were confused because you don’t know what it means to love someone?”
He braced his elbows on his knees and ran his fingers through his hair, staring down at the ground. He knew this was the very worst part of his actions, the part that continued to eat at him the most painfully. “No. Olivia once told me what it means.”
“And what did she say?”
“She said that loving someone means that you consider them your other half. You trust them and believe in them and think of them as the embodiment of all of the things you consider good in another individual.” He looked again at Amber. “In watching you and archigos Gabriel, I have also learned that it means you look after each other. You make each other laugh and offer comfort to each other. You serve as a friend as well as…well, more than a friend.”
He felt his face flush and he looked down again. “I will always remember what your experience at the hands of Angius did to archigos Gabriel. It was very like the Mercesti had done the damage with his blade to him. In fact, it seemed to me he very much wished that had been the case.”
He sighed. “I suppose that is what it means to be a person’s other half. To love them.”
“That sounds like as good a definition for something as indefinable as love as I could offer,” she admitted.
“But when Olivia told me she loved me, I wasn’t thinking about all of that. I was just thinking about—”
“Yeah, yeah. Kissing. Death by Gabriel. I get it.”
He frowned. “Even now, I don’t know what to say to her, even if given the chance. I don’t see how I can be the one who causes such deep feelings in someone like her. I’m so inexperienced with human emotions…”
There was another pause after he trailed off. Then she ventured, “Hmm. Well, I’m pretty confident in Olivia’s ability to determine how she feels. But I’m the first to admit that I don’t know you quite as well. Maybe you just don’t know Olivia well enough to determine if you love her.”
His eyes widening, he again surged to his feet. “Don’t know her well enough?” he repeated, feeling anger building behind the words.
He resumed his pacing to try and release some of his frustration. “I believe I know her better than anyone here. We have lived together for months—day and night. How could I not know her? I know that she loves to read, but her favorite subjects in school were math and science. I know that her favorite color is pink, but she tells everyone else it’s red because it’s less ‘girly.’ I know that she’s frightened of spiders and bats, though they fascinate her. I know that her favorite scent is fresh citrus and her favorite ice cream is cinnamon. I know she misses her human mother, Jean, and her friends from school. I know that she used to enjoy baking and attending events at the local theater and she participated in her school’s choir. I know her favorite flowers are daisies because she thinks they look whimsical and sweet. I know she wishes that she was as strong as you and as graceful as Skye, and fails to recognize her own many strengths and talents. I know she’s beautiful and perfect and…”
He again trailed off. He realized that Amber was staring at him calmly, as if waiting for him to finally make his point. And then he knew exactly what that point was. He sank back down onto the bench.
“And I know that I love her more than anything in this world.”
“Sounds like,” she said, giving him an understanding smile.
“But she won’t speak to me,” he said, hearing the desperation in his own voice. “She’s going to elaborate lengths to avoid me.”
“Sure she is. Makes perfect sense.” She nodded. Then she added, “Don’t let her get away with it.”
He held her gaze for another moment. “Thank you, Amber.”
Again, she nodded. Then she reached over and briefly touched his upper arm. “Listen, James…you said earlier that you didn’t believe Olivia meant it when she said she loved you. That you didn’t deserve her love. Well, you’re wrong. I think you’re perfect for each other.”
“I agree.”
They both looked up and spotted Gabriel stepping out from behind a wall a few feet away. James hurried to his feet, looking at Amber in confusion.
“She didn’t have anything to do with it,” Gabriel said, walking closer. He stopped a few feet from James. “You’re broadcasting quite
clearly.” He tapped the side of his head.
“Oh.” James was appalled. “I’m sorry, archi—”
“Enough of the title, James,” Gabriel said mildly, reaching out to put a hand on his Gloresti’s shoulder. “We’ve moved well past that relationship over the last few months.”
James nodded, looking both pleased and confused.
“And all of those threats of mine that have you in a lather…those were extended toward you and Caleb right after we all transitioned to this plane. They were made from the perspective of a protective brother, not as your leader.” Gabriel smiled. “As you and Caleb are as much my brothers now as anything else, I can’t exactly follow through on those threats with you.”
Blinking, James struggled to find a way to express his relief, appreciation and shared sentiment. In the end, he simply stepped forward and threw his arms around Gabriel in a hard, brief hug.
“Thank you.”
Gabriel nodded. “Now please go and put Olivia out of her misery. All she needs to hear is that you love her. Everything else will work itself out.”
“I think I can handle that.”
As he turned and hurried away, Amber rose and walked over to Gabriel, putting her arms around him.
“Not bad, wife,” he said, leaning down to give her a light kiss.
“Yeah, well, I guess you’ve managed to teach me a few things over the years. Some of it was bound to come in handy eventually.”
He grinned. “While we’re on the topic, have I told you today how much I love you?”
She gave that some thought. “You know what? I don’t think you have. You’re slacking.”
Leaning to kiss the dimple winking at him from her cheek, then to brush her lips again, he said, “Allow me to remedy that.”
James felt lighter than he had in two weeks. He couldn’t wait to find Olivia to tell her how he felt about her. It didn’t matter if she was surrounded by Estilorians, he was going to find a way to speak with her. If he had to confess his love with witnesses, so be it.
Just as long as she knew it.
Seeing that she was no longer around the corner from where he had been sitting with Amber, he walked toward the small crowd still surrounding Skye and Caleb. Olivia had been wearing a deep green training tank and matching pants with brown combat-style boots. He didn’t immediately see anyone in those colors in the crowd.
Catching Caleb’s gaze, he conveyed the thought, Where’s Olivia?
It was only when Caleb looked around, obviously having no idea where Olivia was, that James began to grow concerned. She knew better than to leave the courtyard without telling him. Had she so wanted to avoid speaking with him that she had breached protocol? That wasn’t like her. She was normally very responsible. Even if that was the case, why hadn’t she at least said something to Caleb?
Trying not to let his imagination run away with him, he conducted a thorough walk-through of the courtyard, looking around corners and down some of the shaded alcoves surrounding it. She wasn’t anywhere he could see. When he again neared the place where he had been conversing with Amber, he saw Gabriel and Amber making their way across the courtyard.
Did either of you hear from Olivia as to where she was going after the training session? he thought toward Gabriel.
Frowning, Gabriel conveyed the thought to Amber. They both shook their heads.
Now on the brink of panic, he asked in a deceptively calm voice, “Amber, can you please try and reach her and find out where she is?”
She paused and then looked concerned and puzzled. “She isn’t answering.”
Skye and Caleb walked up to them then. “I can’t reach her either,” Skye said, obviously having been contacted by Amber. “It’s like she’s not on the other end of the thought.”
Catching Gabriel’s gaze, James sought reassurance. Surely Olivia hadn’t fallen to harm because he had left her in the courtyard to speak with Amber. Surely not. There were plenty of beings around who would have seen her. She couldn’t be harmed in plain sight.
“Let’s conduct a search,” Gabriel said, looking at each of them. “I’ll notify the elders and they can send out a broadcast to all of their commanders. We’ll find her.”
But in the end, they didn’t.
Olivia was missing.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
James sat at the long wooden table in the primary conference room used by the elders during their consulting sessions. Also around the table were all of the elders, their commanders, Amber, Skye and Caleb. He held his hands clenched together on top of the table, listening to the various scenarios proposed by everyone around him while deep, clawing fear tightened its hold on him.
Olivia was missing. Her sisters couldn’t hear her. The reasons for this were highly limited.
“James did not experience a Gloresti surge,” Ini-herit was saying, his black brows drawn into serious lines over his silver eyes. “That would indicate that Olaya did not experience anything to escalate her fear.”
James took a small amount of comfort from that thought.
“But she could have been incapacitated before fear could take hold,” Uriel countered. “That would have been the wisest course for someone wishing to harm her.”
James’ fear experienced a violent resurgence.
“When was the last time anyone remembers seeing her?” Knorbis asked.
“She was in the courtyard at the conclusion of the practice session,” James responded, wanting to feel somehow productive. “She was talking to the Lekwuesti, Tabitha. I stepped away from her to speak with Amber.”
“Okay.” Knorbis gave him an understanding look. “Caleb, when was the last time you saw her?”
“It was the same for me,” he answered. He gave James an apologetic glance. “I didn’t see her leave the courtyard.”
“Same here,” Amber added.
“Me, too,” Skye chimed in.
“Where is Tabitha now?” Jabari asked, looking to Sebastian and Caoilinn.
The Lekwuesti commander had been invited to the table because they wanted the best chance of finding Olivia. Caoilinn’s added insights and thorough knowledge of the Estilorian stronghold could make a key difference in their success.
Now she frowned and exchanged a look with Sebastian. “We have not located her, either. Brenna, the Lekwuesti who has paired with Olivia, last saw Tabitha in Amber’s room this afternoon. They did not speak of anything significant. Tabitha apparently did not convey her intent to visit the courtyard during the practice session.”
“Can Brenna find Olivia?” Amber asked.
James glanced at her. It was an excellent question. One he should have considered.
“No,” Sebastian said, looking around the table. “She has tried to establish a connection without receiving a response.”
“Can anyone connect with Tabitha?” Gabriel asked.
“No,” Caoilinn replied. She looked again at Sebastian. “She is not yet paired with anyone, so we cannot check that way. And my ability to summon her as her commander is not working. This is highly unusual.”
“What could cause two minds to just disappear?” Skye wondered. Her knee was bouncing under the table and her hands were clasped in a death grip in her lap. Caleb subtly reached over and placed a hand on top of hers beneath the table. She gave him a grateful look.
“They could have both been taken unaware,” Ailfrid supposed. “Rendered unconscious at the same time.”
“The likelihood for something like that is astronomical,” Gabriel argued. “One of them would surely have seen an assailant and reacted…drawn attention from someone nearby.”
“Unless there were two assailants,” Raphael countered.
There was a pause as they considered this.
“Someone must have seen them,” Amber said at last. “They certainly weren’t attacked right there in the courtyard, for heaven’s sake. They must have walked out of there on their own.”
“Right,” Malukali agreed. “So what would pr
ompt them to leave?”
James had a sudden flash of Olivia’s face after she told him she loved him and he reacted so harshly. He sent an anguished glance toward Gabriel.
Remain calm. Focus.
Nodding to himself as well as to Gabriel, he simply tightened his grip, literally and figuratively. His knuckles were white.
“Olivia wouldn’t have left without telling someone,” Skye said. “She would’ve sent a thought to me and Amber, even if she didn’t mention it to anyone else.”
“Maybe she was distracted,” Amber murmured, her gaze flickering to James.
“Oh.” Skye blinked, also glancing at him. “Right.”
This really was all his fault, he realized, the numbness surrounding his chest beginning to ease into a low ache. However indirectly, he had contributed to whatever had befallen Olivia. He had driven her to the point where she was willing to overlook protocol just to escape his presence.
Stop it.
The thought came from both Gabriel and Caleb. He issued an abrupt nod, not looking at either of them.
“Could they have been influenced mentally by someone here who could have led them away without drawing attention?” Amber asked.
Malukali and Ailfrid exchanged glances. Then the Orculesti leader turned her dark green gaze back to the group. “It is always impossible to be absolutely certain, but we do not believe so. We have both been highly conscious about monitoring the thoughts of all Orculesti, especially after the incident at the welcome reception. We would have definitely sensed something of that magnitude.”
“The same applies to the Wymzesti,” Mena added.
“If we believe they were not attacked at the exact same time by two separate assailants and they were not influenced by another’s thoughts,” Zayna said, “that leaves us with few explanations.”
“As I see it, there is truly only one other possibility that explains their absence as well as their mental inaccessibility,” Khalidah responded, her black eyes potent and soulful. “They have left the area of enchantment.”
James almost came out of his chair. “No!” he exclaimed, his palms now flat against the table. “Olivia would not have left.” He caught Gabriel’s gaze, willing him to believe him. “She wouldn’t. Regardless of her emotional state.”