“I don’t believe she’s all mad at me just because I forgot to pick him up one day,” Tracy was saying to herself inside of the kitchen. “Everybody makes mistakes.”
She finished washing the dishes and decided to give Victor a call to take her mind off of her unstable mother. Jason was watching the late cartoons inside the living room.
Victor answered Tracy’s call on the first ring. “Hello.”
Tracy greeted him without volunteering her name. “What’s up?”
“It’s about time you called,” he told her.
Tracy was confused. “Who you think this is?” she quizzed, praying that he wouldn’t call her by another girl’s name. He had only given her his number two nights ago. But Victor knew his girls. No one else would play on his phone, so it had to be Tracy. Tracy was not trained, yet.
“It’s Tracy, right?” he guessed.
“Yeah,” she answered, surprised.
“I thought you was gon’ call me earlier,” he told her.
“I was, but I ain’t get a chance to,” she lied to him. Tracy laid out across the couch, wishing that he was there with her instead of her brother, Jason.
Victor responded nonchalantly, “Oh, aw’ight.”
Tracy asked, “What are you doing tomorrow?”
“I’on know. Why?” Victor quizzed, thinking she may ask him to come over. This girl might be faster than I thought, he mused.
“Won’t you come see me tomorrow, at my school?” Tracy asked him, sounding as innocent as her tender age.
Victor smiled. Tracy wanted to show him off. “Aw’ight. What time do you get out?”
“Three o’clock,” she responded, as if he should have known.
Victor snapped, “Don’t get smart, girl, ’cause I don’t have to come.”
Tracy played it off. “Sike, I was only playin’. But I gotta go now because my mom has to use the phone.”
Victor grinned, knowing that she was lying. He shook his head. Yup, she needs a little discipline, he thought. She thinks that she’s playing me for a sucker, but I got something for her. “Aw’ight then. I’ll check you out tomorrow.”
Tracy happily hung up the phone. She was pleased with herself for standing her ground with Victor, and for getting him to agree to come see her after school.
Mark Bates asked, “Who was that?” He sat wide-eyed and slim-brown in the chair across from Victor.
Victor said, “That was that young-girl named Tracy.”
“Oh, the chumpee that lives on Diamond Lane?” Mark said with a grin. “She a tough little junh, cuz’. She looks damn good.”
Victor smiled and said, “Yeah, I know.” He kicked his Fila’s up on the old, brown coffee table in front of him.
Mark said, “Yeah, she dimed on me, too. She told my young-girl, Carmen, that she saw me at the party and shit.”
Victor chuckled, looking at himself inside of a hand mirror. “That’s why you don’t give no alibis to no young-girls, cuz’. You just tell ’em that you got somethin’ to do. If they press you about where you gon’ be, just tell ’em that it’s business. Girls like shit like that. As long as they think you out making money, it’s cool.”
Mark laughed. “You be knowin’ these young-girls, hunh, cuz’?”
“Damn right,” Victor said. “I done had too many not to. Plus, my brother used to school girls constantly, so I kinda picked the game up from him.”
Tracy wore another classy outfit to school the next morning. She wore a pair of sunshades around her neck for a fashion statement. She planned on bragging about Victor all day long.
Tracy said, while strutting up the hall, “Yup, Jantel, and then I told him I had to get off the phone before I messed it up. I was kind of nervous.”
Jantel smirked. “For real? I would have been nervous talking to him, too. I’m nowhere near his league,” she admitted. You ain’t either, Tracy, she thought of saying. Then again, Tracy had gotten all of the other boys she had gone after, so maybe she could get Victor.
“Well, he’s gonna be up here for me today,” Tracy continued to brag. She opened her locker to get out her books for the next class, and Travis’ long arms grabbed her swinging door.
“So, I heard you talkin’ to Vic,” he said to her.
“Could you get off my locker, please?”
Travis was getting on Tracy’s last nerve.
“Aw, bitch, don’t get loud with me. He’s only gon’ fuck you and leave, anyway!” he lashed out at her disrespectfully.
“Yeah, aw’ight,” Tracy responded in a low tone. She was afraid that Travis might haul off and punch her if she provoked him. But Travis laughed and walked off, swinging his long, reckless arms.
“He ain’t shit,” Tracy told Jantel as soon as he had left. “He’s just mad because I didn’t give him nothin’. The old drugged-up dog.”
Tracy went to all of her classes on time, for a change, waiting anxiously for the final bell to ring. She walked out of the building with much anticipation and found that Victor was nowhere in sight. Travis laughed in her face and called her some more names. Tracy was embarrassed with a capital “E.” She had practically told the entire school that “Victor’s coming to walk me home today.”
When Victor didn’t show, Tracy appeared to be either a fool or a liar to all of her peers. Either way, she was obviously not pleased with it. She rushed right home to give Victor a piece of her mind.
Tracy howled over the phone, “Ay Victor, why you stand me up?”
“Oh, I was tryin’ to get up there, but I had to get this book from the library to do this report. I’m just walking in the door now,” he quickly lied to her. “And another thing, don’t you ever get an attitude with me. I’m not one of your young-boys,” he snapped.
Tracy was startled. “Oh, my fault. I didn’t know that. I’m sorry.”
Victor then filled her head with his game. “Yup, I was just about to come around there to see you. But you know what? To hell with that now.”
“I said I was sorry,” Tracy pleaded.
“Naw, fuck ’dat. That ‘sorry’ shit don’t change nothin’. You think I’m one of those suckers you be dealin’ with.”
Tracy whined, “No I don’t. Please come see me, Victor.”
Victor said, “Aw’ight, I’ll be around there, just as soon as you’re ready for me to come.”
“I’m ready,” Tracy said thoughtlessly.
“No you’re not, and don’t call me back until you’ve thought about it.”
Victor hung up on her ear. Tracy looked at her receiver, realizing what he was referring to. And he was right, she wasn’t ready.
Tracy then went to pick up Jason from the new day-care center. Peppy, a mean-spirited, light-skinned boy whom Tracy never liked approached them on the sidewalk as they headed back home. To Tracy, Peppy was mad at the world and set on destroying it.
“Ay, dummy,” he said to her, unprovoked. He was walking toward her and Jason from the middle of the street.
“Who you talkin’ to?” Tracy asked, frowning at him.
Peppy let out a sinister laugh as he came closer.
Tracy quickened her step, pulling Jason along to get them away from him.
Peppy said acidly, “What you runnin’ for, you little stupid bitch?”
Tracy was stunned. “Now why you gon’ say that to me, Peppy? I didn’t say shit to you.” Little Jason stared at him. “God, I can’t stand you, boy!” Tracy shouted.
“Girl, you ain’t all that.”
“Ay yo, Peppy, leave her alone, man!” Victor shouted from up the street. He wore a red, white and blue baseball hat, a navy blue Members Only jacket and blue-jeans.
Peppy said nervously, “My fault, man, I didn’t know you was talkin’ to her.”
“I don’t care if I was talkin’ to her or not, cuz’, you gots to stop fuckin’ wit’ people,” Victor snapped at him. He stopped right in front of Tracy and her brother. Peppy shut his mouth and headed on his way. Tracy stood with Jason, impresse
d.
Victor asked Jason, “What’s up, cool?” He extended his hand for a shake. Jason smiled shyly and shook Victor’s gold-ringed hand. Tracy got bubbly inside.
“I used to have a jacket like this when I was young,” Victor told Jason as he pointed to the miniature baseball logo on Jason’s jacket. Jason wore a matching red hat. “He a cute little dude. He gon’ be like me when he grow up. Ain’t ’chew?” Victor asked him.
Jason cracked a smile and imitated Victor as he nodded his head.
“So what’s your name, cool?”
“Tell him, ‘Jay-son,’ ” Tracy said, sounding it out with him.
Her brother bashfully raised his hands to his mouth.
Victor chuckled, grabbing the brim of his hat, and giving his full attention to Tracy. She was admiring his every move. “You remember what I said, right?” he asked her, licking his brown lips. His smooth and pretty dark face glimmered whenever the sunlight slipped under his hat.
“Yeah,” Tracy answered, like clay in Victor’s hands.
“Aw’ight then. I’ll be waitin’ for that call,” Victor told her as he headed off on his way.
Jason squeaked, “Who is that?”
“Victor Hinson,” Tracy answered him, loving even the sound of his name. Victor Hinson was the shit.
Tracy stretched out in her bed that night, feeling herself and wishing that it was Victor. She wanted to know what it would feel like to make love. She imagined how it would happen, envisioning Victor on top of her, kissing down her neck and to her breasts, and then sucking and caressing them with his dark fingers running down to her stomach. She imagined herself, cupping his pretty face inside of her hands and begging for more as he moved with her, like two human snakes as they passionately kissed again and again, like they did in the movies.
Tracy wanted to know what it would feel like to have someone do it to her. She took her morning shower and felt all over her body, making herself excited as the warm water tingled her. She kissed the shower walls and ran her hands between her legs, thinking that she had gone absolutely crazy. And then she knew that it was time to lose her virginity.
Tracy could not wait for Victor to take her. Her newly developed body was ready for exploration, and she was tired of waiting. She couldn’t concentrate on anything, while continuously day-dreaming about Victor doing it to her.
At lunchtime in school, Tracy inadvertently listened to more girl talk going on at the far end of her table:
“Yup, and she said he got her like ten times,” a short and chubby girl was saying. She reminded Tracy of her elementary school girlfriend Judy.
“Well, I told him I wasn’t into that, ’cause he a nut anyway,” a taller girl responded.
“For real, Paula? You said that?”
“Yeah, ’cause you just don’t give it to boys if they don’t know how to get it,” Paula said. She was as light as Raheema, but her hair was snap short.
“He must be stupid then, ’cause you nasty as hell,” her short-and-chubby friend responded.
Tracy giggled to herself.
Paula laughed. “I know, some boys believe anything you tell ’em. Like this guy named Bruce, I told him that I was pregnant, so I couldn’t do nothin’ with him.”
The girls howled with laughter.
Short-and-chubby said, “You crazy, girl. Well, who did you give some to?”
Paula told her, “Light-skinned Jeff, and umm, curly-headed Aaron. That’s all.”
Tracy snickered at her end of the table. She got up to leave for class, feeling that she was above their level. They were only talking about small-time guys. Tracy considered herself in the major leagues.
She rushed home, hoping to catch Victor in his house when she called. At first she was reluctant to dial his number, quick to change her mind about her decision to lose her virginity to him. But after beating out her fear, she forced herself.
“Hello. Can I speak to Victor?” she asked, recognizing an older voice.
“Victor’s not home.” He rudely hung up the line before Tracy was able to leave a message.
Tracy felt deprived. Rude bastard! she snapped.
Patti told her that she would be going out Friday night, and that Tracy would have to watch Jason. “I’m not gonna let my life rot away while your father acts like an asshole,” she grumbled.
Tracy immediately started to plot. Later on that night, she called Victor again, but no one answered his line. It tortured her that she couldn’t get in contact with him. For the first time, Tracy felt satisfied with a guy without losing her interest.
The next day, Tracy called Victor once again to no avail. After Patti had arrived at home that evening, Tracy ran out to the store on Chelten Avenue, seven blocks away from her house, supposedly because she needed some school supplies. While out on the street, Tracy made sure to walk down Wayne Avenue, where Victor was known to hang out. The avenue seemed packed with everyone but him. She spotted Peppy and wanted to leave Victor a message, but never through him. She then bumped into Mark Bates before heading back to Chelten.
“Hey, Mark, I heard you talkin’ to my girl Carmen,” she said to him, grinning away.
Mark nodded lightheartedly. “Yeah, she told me that you dimed on me,” he responded.
Tracy smiled, filled with guilt.
“Unh hunh, keep on smiling,” Mark joked with her.
Tracy wasted no time. “Have you seen Victor?” she asked.
“Why?”
“Because I had something to tell him.”
Without explanation, Mark abruptly pulled Tracy’s arm and led her around the corner.
“Where are you takin’ me?” Tracy asked him, puzzled by his sudden actions.
“Don’t you live up this way?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t want you to walk me.”
Mark pushed Tracy toward her house anyway. “So what you want me to tell Victor?” he finally asked her.
“Just tell him that my mom is goin’ out Friday night.”
Mark smiled, proud of his boy’s successful job of turning Tracy out. Damn! I wish I had it like Vic, he thought to himself. “Aw’ight then,” he told Tracy. “I’ll tell him.”
Tracy, still wondering why he had run her around the corner, dismissed it and walked home. She was pleased that she had dropped her message off.
Mark headed back toward Wayne Avenue and approached his buddy. “Ay Vic, come here for a minute.” Victor was with yet another attractive teenaged girl, waiting for the bus to take her home. “Tracy was just down here,” Mark told his admirable friend. “I saw you coming and I ran her around the corner.”
Victor looked back at the slender, tanned-skinned beauty and smiled, making sure she would not get suspicious of their conversation.
“Yo, she’s flyy as shit, cuz’,” Mark commented about the girl, who was wearing a shiny red Adidas sweat suit with large gold earrings.
Victor said, “Yeah, I met her up at Cheltenham Mall. And yo, she got a good shot downstairs. You know what I mean?”
Mark nodded. “It was good, hunh?”
“Man, was it ever,” Victor emphasized.
“Well, Tracy told me to tell you that her mother is going out Friday night,” Mark told him with a grin.
Victor cracked a wide, confident smile. “See that, Mark? I told you I would pop that young-girl. It ain’t even been a week yet.”
Friday came quickly. Tracy cleaned up her room and got everything set for what she thought would be one of the most memorable nights of her life. She packed all of her clothing away in her dressers, and all her shoes inside the closet, and she then straightened up her bed. She changed the sheets and displayed her best-looking pictures and stuffed animals on her dressers to make everything neat and pretty for her most important visitor.
Tracy walked out on the avenue to buy some ice cream before her mother was ready to leave. Patti told her to come right back, limiting the amount of time her daughter had to search the streets for Victor. In desperation, Tracy w
ent as far as to ask a few girls if they had seen him, only to receive their jealous snarls in response. By the time she had gotten back to her house, Tracy had given up on her chase. She sat in her neat room and stared up at the ceiling in despair. All he has to do is call, she told herself.
Patti spotted her long face. “What’s wrong with you, girl? You go out every Friday, so don’t even try pouting in here tonight. I have a life, too, Tracy.”
“I’m not thinking about that, mom,” her daughter told her.
“Well, what are you thinking about?” Patti asked. She was decked out in a beige skirt suit with a white blouse and black stockings and shoes, set on reclaiming her life from Dave.
Tracy knew she had to throw her mother off track so she wouldn’t get suspicious. “Well, my stomach was hurting today, and I had the runs,” she lied. Tracy smiled, knowing it was a good one.
Patti laughed. “Well, you’ll be all right; just stay close to the bathroom. You didn’t embarrass yourself at school today, did you?”
“No,” Tracy answered her.
Patti wrote down a phone number where she could be reached and placed it on Tracy’s dresser. “Look, now, I gotta go, so here’s the number to the place, if you need to call me.”
“Okay.”
Patti left out, and Tracy took Jason downstairs with her to watch television. She made a relaxing spot on the couch to get her brother to fall asleep, and after an hour Jason was out like a light. Tracy then carried him up to his bed and headed back downstairs, praying for her late-night romance to come true. She sat and ate her ice cream, and before she knew it, it was ten-forty-five and she had dozed off herself. Victor should have been there by ten.
Tracy struggled to her feet and headed toward the stairs. She was disappointed and ready for bed, but right as she reached the first step, she could see, through the front window, a figure approaching her door. She ran to the door excitedly. Victor stood on her top step, waiting for her to let him in.