Tracy said happily, “Hi. I thought you wasn’t comin’.”
Victor looked around as he walked in. “You gotta nice crib,” he said, half ignoring her excitement. He knew she would be pleased to see him.
“Thank you.”
Tracy followed Victor into the living room as he wandered around. He wore a red Polo jacket, a plain white T-shirt and black jeans. A gold rope chain shone around his neck.
“So, what time is your mom coming home?” he asked her.
“I don’t know,” Tracy answered.
Victor turned to look at her. “You got carpeting in your basement?”
“Yeah,” Tracy answered. She led him to the basement door as if she was giving him a tour of the house.
Victor said, “Let’s go down here, just in case your mom comes home, ’cause I wouldn’t want to be caught inside your room.” He walked down inside of the basement as Tracy followed him. “Go open the back door so we won’t have to do it if she comes,” Victor instructed her while he took off his jacket.
Tracy did as she was told. Victor then gestured with his right hand for her to have a seat on his lap.
“What ’chew want?” Tracy asked him, playfully.
Victor pulled her onto his lap. “So what we gon’ do, Tracy?”
Tracy looked at his hair, noticing how thick and dark it was, with little shiny waves and curls all tangled inside of the perfectly blocked shape. Damn he looks good, she thought to herself.
“I’on know,” she moaned. Tracy was feeling nervous and unsure of herself.
Victor pulled her down to his lips and gently kissed her neck. He then licked around to her ear, like he had done at the party.
“Do you want me to make love to you?” he asked her.
“I’on care,” Tracy moaned as he kissed her lips. Victor stood her up to take off her clothes. Tracy then felt an impulse to stop him. “I don’t know about this, Victor,” she said, gripping her pants, as he tugged at them.
Victor pushed her away and said, “Look, I told you to call me when you’re ready.”
Tracy whined, “Well, I thought I was. But why I gotta give you some just to be with you?” She wanted Victor to stay and argue with her like most boys would, but Victor had had too many girls for that.
“Call me when you’re ready! Okay?” He snatched up his red Polo jacket and headed toward the basement door.
Tracy’s heart pounded. She watched him walking away and couldn’t help herself. “Okay, Victor! Don’t go!”
Victor stopped at the door. “Well, what ’chew gon’ do then? Because I got places to go and people to see if you’re planning on wasting my time down here.” He held his jacket across his left arm, holding the doorknob with his right hand. Tracy knew that he meant another girl. She decided that she would rather give him some than to be left alone, thinking about him.
“Well, what do you wanna do?”
Tracy nodded like a child with her hazels twinkling inside of the dark. She started to slowly take off her clothes. Victor came back in, and he watched her. Tracy undressed, piece by piece, as her heart raced, feeling trapped by young lust, confused for love. Soon she sat naked on her basement couch, not yet fourteen, and about to lose her virginity.
Victor yanked out a quilt from her mother’s laundry basket and spread it out on the floor. Tracy looked up at him in submission as he began to take off his clothes.
“Is it gonna hurt?” she asked him, innocently.
Victor held in his laugh as he spread her thighs. “Only a little bit,” he said, again kissing her neck. He played with her to arouse her young body for easy access. Tracy could feel him, bumping up against her leg as they passionately wrestled with tongues, fingers, arms, legs, elbows and knees. Victor was erect and throbbing against her, and Tracy quickly exhausted herself from the foreplay.
“Victor, put it in,” she said, afraid to touch him.
“Are you sure you want me to?” he whispered.
Tracy pleaded, whispering back to him, “Yeah. Do it.”
Victor tried, and Tracy resisted with a squeal. Her legs began to shake with anxiety as he barely entered her. She then tried to pull back from his grasp to avoid the pain, like she had done with Bob. Victor clutched her by her shoulders, pushing himself through.
“UNNNHH, VICTOR!” Tracy howled desperately.
Victor began pushing her legs back with his arms. Tracy attempted to grab the rug. Failing at that, she began to claw away at his back as she moaned, “UNNNHH! VICTOR, I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!”
Oh my God! I can’t believe I’m actually doing this, she thought to herself.
When he had finally finished, they lay there intertwined until Victor had regained his energy. Tracy watched him as if she was a wide-eyed toddler at an amusement park while he redressed, astonished by his dark and beautiful muscular physique. Victor had a perfect black body. And after being with him intimately, Tracy understood firsthand why all the girls loved him.
Victor asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothin’,” Tracy answered shyly.
“Well, I got to go, all right?”
“Okay,” she responded breathlessly.
Tracy got up to walk him to the door, remaining butt-naked inside of her dark basement. She locked the door behind him and carried her clothing upstairs to her room. She then fell out across her bed, feeling relaxed and robbed of all her energy as she slipped into a deep and peaceful sleep.
Jason tapped on his sister’s shoulder Saturday morning.
“What?” Tracy strained, making sure that her sheets covered her naked body.
“I want some cereal,” her brother squealed. “Tray-cee.” Tracy didn’t respond, so Jason shook her. “Tray-cee!”
“Stop,” she snapped at him.
Frustrated, Jason ran into his mother’s bathroom hollering, “M-O-O-O-M! She won’t get up!”
“Well, you tell her I said so,” Patti mumbled while brushing her teeth.
Jason pleaded for action. “But she won’t get it.”
Patti finished brushing her teeth and marched into Tracy’s room. “Look, girl, if you want to go out tonight, then you better get up and get him something to eat.”
Tracy couldn’t believe her ears. It seemed like only yesterday when her mother was pleasantly buddy-buddy with her, and in one week she had turned completely sour. Now I know what people go through when their parents get divorced, Tracy thought, because she’s starting to act crazy. I don’t have anything to do with what dad does. She took a few seconds to gather her energy and then slid some clothes on to do as she was told. And again, Tracy was given the responsibility of baby-sitting Jason while her mother ran errands.
“Hello. Is Jantel home?” she asked from the phone inside of the living room. She just had to call her best girlfriend and update her on the news.
Jantel answered, “Hello.”
“It’s Tracy, and guess what happened last night.”
“What?”
“Victor came over here.”
“For real? What did y’all do?”
Tracy smiled. “You know.”
“Uuuuw, y’all got nas-sty.”
“Yup, and it was goooood. But girl, that shit hurt like hell at first.”
Jantel cracked up. “It did?” she asked, with tears of laughter flooding her eyes. Jantel had always assumed that having sex would hurt. She had heard horror stories from several different sources to confirm it, and unlike Tracy, she was in no hurry to lose her virginity.
“Shit, yeah, it hurt, girl!” Tracy told her. She quickly looked over to Jason, hoping that he paid no mind while he watched Saturday morning cartoons. Tracy then decided that it would be wise for her to watch what she said around him, because Jason was at an impressionable age.
“Are you going to that party tonight?” Tracy asked Jantel on another note.
“On Haines Street?”
“Yeah.”
Jantel grimaced and shook her head against the receiver. “N
o way. All they do is fight around there. Don’t go to that party, Tracy. You don’t even want to get mixed in with them people,” she warned.
Tracy thought about her warning, but her mind was already made up: she was going to the party. Victor would probably be there, and it would give her another chance to be near him. She called Carmen, who went to all the parties, and set a time for them to go together.
Haines Street was packed with nothing but guys, outside and inside, and Carmen seemed to know all of them. There was limited elbow room inside of the smoky basement where the party was being held, and Tracy began to see why so many fights broke off. She searched the room with her eyes, feeling sure that Victor would be there. But she could not spot him, although most of his loud friends were there. Tracy immediately figured that he was off with another girl, doing what he did best.
“What’s up, pretty?” an older guy with a fresh haircut said to her. His greased wavy hair glimmered under the dim green party light.
“Nothin’,” Tracy said, and since Victor was not around, she was more than ready to leave.
“What’s your name?” he asked.
“Tracy.”
“Yeah, well, you got a boyfriend?”
“No, but I’m talkin’ to somebody.”
“Well, you don’t go with him, so I figure that me and you can talk.”
Mr. Waves looked all right, but Tracy had already been satisfied, so he was beginning to get on her nerves. He was too pressed.
“Do you know Victor Hinson?” she asked him.
“Oh, damn, you talkin’ to him?”
Tracy nodded, and Mr. Waves backed off.
“My fault then.”
Tracy smiled to herself, proud of Victor’s rep. She then moved into a corner and spotted Carmen French-kissing some tall guy. And she was lonely.
“Ay, what’s up, slim? You flyy as you wanna be. You got the fresh-ass gear on and everything. What’s your name?” another boy asked. He was not as attractive as Mr. Waves, and his breath smelled like a ton of cigarettes, so Tracy ignored him. “Hunh, what’s your name?” the boy repeated as she moved away. “Oh, aw’ight then! It’s like that?” he said to her back. “Bitch!”
“You ain’t like dude right there, hunh?” yet another guy said to her. Tracy looked to see a cute brown face under a red Kangol cap.
“Naw,” she answered, uninterested in conversing. She was still satisfied with and longing for Victor.
Cute-brown asked, “Well, who are you in here with?”
“Nobody you know.”
The boy was caught off guard by Tracy’s blunt response. He figured that he was being respectable with his conversation. “You don’t have to get like that on me,” he told her. Tracy pictured him as a “Tommy-type,” who would want to spend every hour of the day with her, so she simply wanted to get him off of her back, and fast.
“I’m talkin’ to somebody, okay. Damn!”
Cute-brown moved away from Tracy and joined some of his friends. Tracy sat there on the wall, deserted and staring at Carmen, who seemed to be having the time of her life.
Before she knew it, two hours had passed, and Tracy had danced with several dull boys.
Carmen finally joined her. “Ay Tracy, you wanna go with these guys I know?”
Tracy frowned. “Who?”
“Come on, I’ll introduce you to them.” Carmen dragged Tracy away to a couple of tall basketball players. “This is my girl, Tracy,” she said.
“You live on Diamond Lane, don’t you, right next to some girls named Mercedes and Raheema?” one of the boys asked Tracy.
“Yeah, how you know?” Tracy perked. Damn, everybody knows me! she thought to herself excitedly.
“Because, my cousin lived up there. And I seen you before.”
“Yeah, Mercedes don’t live there no more. But who is your cousin?” Tracy wanted to know.
“Well, he’s an old-head now, but do you remember some guy named Kevin?”
Tracy nodded with a grin. “Yeah, I remember him.” Kevin was Mercedes’ first man, like Victor is mine, she reflected with a smile.
“Well, y’all down to go with us?” the other tall boy asked Carmen.
Tracy felt that they were harmless and friendly. She had no objections. The party had turned out to be a dud anyway.
They left the party and walked a few blocks to Carmen’s friend’s house. She was still hugging and kissing him while on their way. Tracy had completely forgotten about her mother’s warning concerning leaving parties with guys. It had happened too fast for her to think about it, and once it did cross her mind, she had already done it.
The boy’s parents had gone out for the night, and Carmen slipped right up the stairs to be with him. Tracy had just met the other guy, and she didn’t like him sexually. They sat downstairs and watched Eddie Murphy’s Delirious on tape. Tracy laughed, while wondering where the guy’s parents were. She felt nervous knowing that the boy sitting next to her probably expected to do something. She dared not to mislead him, so she decided not to even look his way. She kept her eyes glued to Eddie and his blunt style of humor.
The tall boy asked, “What time you gotta be home?”
“Twelve o’clock,” Tracy answered. It was already a quarter after eleven, and it would take Tracy twenty minutes to walk.
“You want me to walk you?” he offered.
Tracy planned on being short and sweet with all of her answers. “I don’t care,” she told him. She was relieved he was not going to try anything.
He then stood up with her and said, “Come here for a minute,” as he leaned against the front door.
Tracy stopped with arms-distance between them.
“Come here,” the tall boy repeated, tugging her arm toward him. He was trying to pull her closer, and Tracy correctly assumed that he wanted a kiss, so she promptly backed away.
“No, that’s all right. I just met you,” she told him.
They both stood there inside of the vestibule area, confused about the next move. The tall boy then gave in and opened the door for her. Tracy didn’t feel comfortable about him walking her home anymore, and he didn’t really want to. It was an embarrassing situation, so Tracy decided to walk home alone, despite the danger.
While on her way up a dark street, she noticed a young drunkard on a patio. Spotting her, he walked out toward the pavement. Tracy frantically crossed the street.
“Hey, good-lookin’, come here, baby. I’m not gon’ hurt you, I just want your phone number.”
“No, that’s all right,” Tracy responded, running. She ran all the way to Wayne Avenue where she spotted the usual people from her neighborhood before she stopped, bumping into Jantel, who was walking out from the ice-cream store.
“Girl, you missed it!” Jantel exclaimed.
“I missed what?” Tracy asked, while catching her breath. She was still more concerned about her own story.
“Victor beat up this guy, and the cops came looking for him. Because this guy hopped out of a car with like four of his boys, and Victor had all his boys, right. So then Victor fought him with these rings on his hands and messed cuz’ face up. And now the cops are after him.”
“For real?” Tracy asked, forgetting about her own story. She had survived it.
“Yup, because the guy was jealous that Victor was seein’ this girl.”
It didn’t much matter to Tracy how many girls Victor had. He had loved her for one night, and she was satisfied, yet she longed to have his personal and intimate attention again. And soon.
Tracy approached Carmen at her locker at school that Monday. “Ay, Carmen, you a trip, girl.”
“Why, what I do?” Carmen responded to her, while gathering her things for class.
“Some drunken guy chased after me Saturday night.”
Carmen laughed. “How is that my fault? I didn’t tell you to leave.”
“You knew I didn’t know that guy.”
“But you still could have waited for me, Tracy.”
“Girl, I had to get home. Everybody’s parents don’t let them run the damn streets like yours do.”
“Well, that ain’t my problem,” Carmen huffed. She rudely began to walk off toward her class.
“Yeah, all right, just see if I ever go to a party with you again,” Tracy told her.
Carmen stopped for a second. “You the one that wanted to go, Tracy. I didn’t call you for that party.”
Tracy was speechless as Carmen stood her ground. The girls parted in a truce.
Classes were winding down before finals in June. The summer vacation was right around the corner. Tracy hadn’t seen Victor much at all in the weeks that followed, and he didn’t return any of her phone calls. It’s funny how I could catch him in his house when he first gave me his number, she pondered, but now he’s never home.
Meanwhile, more and more boys learned Tracy’s name, but none were interesting enough to sway her preoccupation with Victor. Now I know how my mother feels, dealing with my father, she mused.
Tracy felt she could handle seeing and befriending Victor without having to give him any. She wanted to present herself like a lady. All she wanted was some of his time, and begging was useless, so she planned to make herself visible at all of his hang-outs until he would decide to be with her again.
Tracy ventured to the playground, displaying her summer Hawaiian look with sky-blue sunglasses that matched the blue in her outfit, and she dragged her best girlfriend, Jantel, along with her for backup. They sat down on the benches with the older girls, watching the guys play basketball. The older girls were not such a big deal to Tracy, or so she told herself. It was important for her to lessen the stature of the competition to keep her own self-image high. To get a number-one guy like Victor, Tracy figured she had to be a number-one girl. Every young lady at the playground was familiar with the rules of the dating game, and each of them were out to attract the best guys with their glamourous looks, attitudes and fashions.
Victor showed up with his friends at mid-afternoon and did not attempt to speak to Tracy. Nevertheless, Tracy continued to long for his attention as she watched his every move out of the corner of her eye, while pretending not to. Every few minutes, a girl or two would flock to Victor, and he would say a few words and go on about his business, which at the time was playing basketball with his friends. No girl seemed able to keep his attention for any length of time, and arguing would only make him ignore them, just like with Tracy’s father.