He laid a hand over one of hers. “I have time to make that decision. My parents loved this place so much, they had their ashes buried in the canyon. Do you mind if we swing by there? I don’t want to bring down the mood of the day, but I’d like to see the site.”
She hugged him tighter. There are deeper levels to this man than I thought. “I would, too.”
With that, he twisted the right-hand throttle and they were flying down the path at the same crazy speed they’d taken over the lawn. This time, though, Josephine saw the ride through his eyes. He was reliving a happier time in his life and taking her along. It was beautifully touching in a bumpy, hold-on-or-you’ll-go-flying-off way.
Holding on was what she feared she might do.
She’d always been able to walk away. Move away. Start again. Assume a new role. But it had always been with my dad. Never alone. What would it be like to actually stay? What would it be like to come home to someone? That’s a silly thought, Josephine. That’s not in my future. Tomorrow I have to let go of him . . . aware of the crazy fantasy that someone like me could have someone like him in my life. If I really were Josie Arlington would a weekend together become two? Because spending time with him is exhilarating. Would this attraction grow into love? Marriage? Two children, a dog, and holidays with his family?
None of that is possible no matter how tight I hold on. It’s not real.
It’s not me.
If his brothers had told him he would be flying down dirt trails acting like he was twenty years younger, he would have asked them what they’d been drinking. This wasn’t the way he behaved. Ever.
Yet, somehow, it felt right.
Gabe thought back to the day his aunt had called him to say his father had died. He’d gone back to work after hearing the news and later gone to see his brothers. The sadness he’d expected at the loss hadn’t come. That wasn’t something he could say aloud without sounding like he didn’t love his father. I did love him; we simply weren’t a big part of each other’s lives.
Perhaps it was because he and Josie were headed toward where his parents’ ashes were, but Gabe suddenly felt the loss deeply. He was momentarily transported back to a summer when his mother was alive. The four oldest boys—James, Gabe, Hunter, and Max—were farther down the trail on one ATV, racing to keep up with their mother, while the three youngest had stayed back at the house with Aunt Claire. The destination had been the canyon because it was their mother’s favorite place. When they stopped on the grassy area near the river that cut through the canyon, their mother had smiled and said it was so beautiful it must be a little piece of heaven that had fallen to earth.
You shouldn’t have left your heaven to me, Dad. I don’t own anything I wouldn’t sell for the right price. You chose poorly if you thought I’d be the one to keep this place in our family.
The ATV went over a rock and tilted to one side. Josie’s arms tightened around his waist and the past drifted away. “Having fun?” he asked over the roar of the engine.
“I haven’t hit the dirt yet, so—yes,” she answered with a laugh.
He slowed the vehicle and the euphoria that had come from speeding down the trail was replaced by an equally enjoyable awareness of her body clinging to his. Her thighs warmed the outside of his. Her breasts bounced against his back. There were definitely worse ways to spend a Saturday. “See the tree over there? The one with the three low branches?”
“Are you going to drive up it?” she joked.
He stopped the ATV and looked back at her, pretending to be offended. “What are you implying?”
She laughed. “Only that some people avoid obstacles for the comfort of their passengers.”
“Think you can do better? Want to drive back from the canyon?” The idea of reversing their positions was a tantalizing one.
“You’re on,” she said in a husky tone that made him wonder if she was looking forward to the ride back for the same reason he was. She pointed at the tree he’d mentioned. “What were you saying about the tree?”
He was having trouble remembering. Once he imagined her gorgeous little ass moving up and down against him, it was difficult to think at all. He shook his head. “I broke my arm on that tree. Hunter was near the top, convinced it was the best view on the ranch. I told him to take a picture of it because there was no way in hell I was climbing up that spindly tree. He dared me, and to make a long story short, I wore a cast the rest of the summer.”
She laughed again. “At least you proved you weren’t afraid of climbing.”
“What I proved was that my instincts about the reliability of those branches to hold the weight of two people was sound. I’ve never been one to leap before fully evaluating where I’d land. Hunter is the exact opposite. He charges ahead sometimes with no idea of what he’s running into. He’s been lucky so far, but some falls can be game changers.”
She tensed behind him. “It’s not always possible to know what lies around the corner. I wish it were. I don’t like the unknown either, but sometimes it’s all we have.”
Was she referring to how little they knew about each other or her uncertainty about where she’d go after the ranch sold? “You keep saying you’ll be fine when you leave here. Where will you go?”
Her silence was unsettling. Either she didn’t know or she didn’t want to tell him. He didn’t like either possibility. He twisted the throttle and took off down the trail again. He and Josie weren’t lovers. They weren’t even friends yet. Where she went and who she went with was none of his business.
Do I want it to be?
I’ve spent a lifetime keeping my life simple, focused—even in my personal life. I enjoy people while they are with me, but I don’t hold on to relationships any more than I hold on to properties.
He was practical to the core.
He’d never owned a house he’d considered his. His address changed depending on projects he worked on. His relationships were the same. His last name along with his financial status was enough to guarantee a steady flow of interested women. He was a man in his prime with a healthy appetite for sex, and short-term, casual relationships provided that. He didn’t ask a woman who she’d been with last and didn’t care who she went with after him. He’d never cared.
There was very little chance that a woman of Josie’s age, somewhere in her mid-twenties, was a virgin. So, who had she been with? Had they been good to her? Was one of them the reason she kept so much to herself? He didn’t like that she felt she needed a gun.
Were any of them someone she intended to turn to when she left the ranch? His stomach tightened at that thought. He’d never been a jealous man, but he didn’t like the idea of her with anyone else. He had no idea how being with Josie for less than twenty-four hours had caused such a protective streak, especially given they’d only stolen a few kisses. Even the six months with whatshername in wheresitsplace never inspired this indefinable urge.
Those thoughts were broken when Gabe and Josie reached the bottom of the canyon. A white stone bench stood as the marker where his parents’ ashes were buried. Gabe parked the ATV a few feet away from it then waited as Josie got off first. He joined her beside the bench.
“It’s so beautiful here,” she said in a tone full of wonder.
He looked down at the bench engraved with his parents’ names. Regardless of where his father had gone after his mother’s death, he had returned to her in the end. Is this what you wanted me to see, Dad? That Mom always owned your heart? That family is what matters? If so, I hope you sent the same message to the other six. If you want me to believe you were this sentimental, it’s going to be a hard sell. How many phone calls were you too busy to return? I never judged you for it, but now . . . If it’s your aim for me to become the family man you weren’t, it’s not going to happen.
He pictured his mother shaking her head, reminding him to be respectful of his father. He could see her turning to his father, as she often had, and reminding him to be equally as respectful toward his
son. “It’s easy to get caught up in what matters the least and forget what matters the most.” His mother had held her husband and her boys in check with love rather than force. When he scanned the creek and the grassy area that flanked it, he forgot to ask himself what that view would be worth to a potential buyer. Instead he let the memories from the many happy times he’d spent there wash over him. “It is beautiful.”
He looked across at Josie who seemed to be lost in her thoughts as well. She didn’t wear makeup or dress seductively. When she spoke, it wasn’t to flirt with sexual innuendos. She was genuine and as striking as the backdrop behind her, real in a world that was all about appearances.
As he watched, she stepped out of her tennis shoes and rolled up the legs up her jeans. She walked into the creek then raised her eyes to his. With a mischievous smile on her face, she kicked an arc of water in his direction. It fell short of reaching him.
“You’re lucky you missed,” he said, advancing toward the water.
“Because Mr. Fancy Pants is afraid to get wet?” she parried playfully.
Gabe stepped out of his shoes. The creek became much deeper a few feet beyond where she stood. Because of the rock formation downstream the current was never overly powerful. He and his brothers had gone swimming in that very spot every summer. He lifted his shirt over his head and dropped it beside his shoes. Her mouth rounded and her eyebrows rose. The way her gaze lingered on his bare chest was an added bonus. He undid the button of his jeans and her jaw fell open when he stepped out of them as well. His smile was wide and wicked when he straightened in a pair of bathing trucks. “I’m ready. Kick some water in my direction again.”
“Don’t you dare. I didn’t wear a bathing suit.” She backed away, toward where the creek dropped and raised a hand in defense.
He took a step in her direction. “So sad. What are you going to do? Get all your clothing wet or take them off?”
She retreated again. “How about we agree that I stay completely dry?”
He advanced. “That option disappeared when you attempted to douse me.”
“I missed.”
He bent and cupped his hand, preparing to splash her. “I won’t.”
Her eyes narrowed in challenge. “You will. I’m fast.” She bolted backward and sank into the depth of the creek. He was beside her in a flash, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her with him to an area where he could stand.
She pushed her wet hair back from her face. He loved the laughter in her eyes as she swatted his arm. “You jerk. You could have warned me.”
“I should have.” The water wasn’t cold enough to hide his reaction to her body settling against his. “With you, I forget to be careful.”
Her hands clung to his shoulders. She bit her bottom lip and looked up at him with a mixture of yearning and sadness. “I can’t forget. No matter how much I wish I could.” She pushed away from him and found her own footing on the creek bed. “I’m sorry.”
He’d never wanted a woman more than he wanted her right then, but he let her take another step away. “Are you married?”
“No,” she said.
“Did someone hurt you?” Would she tell me?
“Yes, but not the way you probably think. Please just drop it.” She made it back to the shallow area and stood with clothes plastered to her. It would have been a sight he would have enjoyed had she not looked so sad. “I wish . . .”
“What do you wish?” He went to stand beside her.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said and turned away.
He followed her to shore and gently turned her around then held her before him. “It does to me.”
“I wish I hadn’t met you,” she said and turned away from him.
Chapter Six
It wasn’t a kind thing to say, but Josephine’s anger with herself was spilling over onto Gabe. She started up the trail that led back to the house. She wanted to laugh with him, splash in the water like carefree children. More than anything, she wanted to throw her arms around his neck, pull him down for a kiss, and spend the rest of the morning rolling around in the grass with him. Naked. Dressed. Wet. Dry. She’d take any scenario that included his lips on hers and those strong arms around her.
But I can’t.
He doesn’t even know my real name.
Why did he have to pursue me? Why do I want to trust him almost as much as I want to finish the power cell?
I used to believe in what I was doing. Now I don’t know. I thought I could save my father, but I lost him anyway. I thought I could clear his name, but all I’ve done is hide and perpetuate the idea that we both might have been criminals.
When I had nothing else, I had my father’s dream to fulfill.
I had a goal, and it didn’t matter if I was alone. I was used to being alone.
But now?
I want to tell Gabe everything. Confess like the fool I am.
And then what?
Beg him to believe me?
Why would he when my own friends didn’t?
He has his own life, Josephine.
Gabe caught up to her and stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. “Whatever this is between us, it scares the hell out of me, too.”
She turned and met his eyes. “I keep reminding myself I met you yesterday.”
“I keep reminding myself you pulled a gun on me,” he said dryly.
She shivered. “What are those instincts that told you the top of the tree was dangerous telling you now?”
He pulled her into his arms, warming her against his chest. “They’re telling me I’ll spend the rest of my life regretting walking away without doing this.” His lips claimed hers in a kiss so tender Josephine forgot to be careful again.
It was so easy to give in to her hunger and kiss him back with equal passion. She told herself that everything wrong with her life would be waiting for her, but it didn’t need to deprive her of this moment. No one gets hurt as long as I don’t let it go too far. His hands dug into her hair, cradling her as he deepened the kiss. She slid her hands up his bare chest, knowing she should push him away, but unable to force herself to. His skin was warm and smooth. His muscles flexed beneath her touch. She fisted her hands against his chest. Desire and duty. Guilt and loneliness. Kissing him felt incredible and gut-wrenchingly painful at the same time.
She tore her mouth from his and brought her forehead down onto her clenched hands. He held her in his arms and rested his chin lightly on top of her head. She wanted to be honest with him about how she felt, but she was already lying to him about so much already. I’m tearing myself up over this, but he’ll probably forget me by Sunday night.
“Look at me,” he commanded softly.
She raised her eyes to his.
It would have been easy to walk away from him if he’d been annoyed that she’d stopped. Had he pushed, she could have told herself he was like every other man and only wanted one thing. Instead he gave her a lopsided smile that tugged at her heart. “I lose my head around you, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t hear what you said. We’ll take this as slowly as you need to.”
She pushed at him then, because the nicer he was the guiltier she felt. “I can’t do this.”
He tucked a lock of wet hair behind her ear. “I’d expect more courage from the firecracker who confronted me in the driveway yesterday.”
“Don’t talk to me about courage.” She shoved him back then, and his arms fell to his sides. For a moment caution was tossed to the side and six months of struggle poured out. “I could have taken the easy route, but I didn’t, and it cost me everything. So don’t you dare tell me I lack courage. It’s all I have left.”
She knew instantly that she’d said too much. He towered over her. “What happened? What brought you here?”
Although she wanted to hide her face in her hands, she didn’t allow herself that luxury. He wanted to help her. That wouldn’t last, though, once he knew the truth about why she was there. He wouldn’t believe her story any
more than her friends had. She squared her shoulders and chose her words carefully. One lie layered easily over the others she had told him and hopefully would buy her time. “I’m not ready to talk about it yet, but maybe we could see each other after this weekend. I don’t know, maybe you could come down again, or I could go see you. I’ll tell you everything but not this weekend.” Like I always say, the best lies are based on the truth. She had no intention of being at the ranch more than a few hours after he left. When he returned, if he returned, there would be no trace of her or where she’d gone. He doesn’t need to know that.
“That sounds fair enough. Your clothes are soaked. Do you want to head back and change?” Genuine concern still darkened his eyes, and Josephine had to stop herself from stepping right back into the security of his embrace.
“Would you mind if I said yes?”
“I wouldn’t have asked if I did.”
“Then, yes. I’d like to get into some dry clothes.” Unfortunately, it was still early enough in the day that she needed to find another way to occupy his time. “I’m hungry, are you?”
He seemed to rethink his first answer before saying, “Absolutely. Let’s get the ATV and make lunch.”
“Great. Then, if you want, I could show you some of my favorite spots on the ranch.”
He offered her his hand as if to assist her. “I’d like that.”
She placed her hand in his and they started down the way they came.
He laced his fingers with hers. “Whatever you’re afraid of—you don’t have to face it alone.”
Josephine pressed her lips together and refused to give in to the emotions swirling within her. That’s where you’re wrong, Gabe. Alone is all I’ll ever be. She couldn’t afford to take time to mourn the loss of her dad, or feel sorry for herself, and the more she got to know Gabe the more she wanted to protect him from the mess she was in. That’s not how I’m wired and it’s illogical to need to factor in another in my world . . . yet, I want that.
Gabe Brannigan—why couldn’t you be an asshole?