If I didn’t already know I love her, I would fall hard right this minute. She’s hurting so much because my daughter is hurting. She accepts her and loves her. She’s definitely my one.
Kadi’s breath hitches every third or fourth breath, her entire body shuddering as it does. She cried so damn hard I thought she would be sick.
When I heard her yelling, angry and sad screams, I ran to find her. And seeing her, in Ethan’s arms, crying her heart out… That’s something I’ll never forget.
I take a seat on the love seat, patting next to me for Summer to join me. She does, gently brushing Kadi’s hair off her face, then wiping her tears.
“What happened?” I ask softly.
Xander’s eyes are red, Ethan’s head is hanging low, and Jesse’s fists are clenched so tight I’m afraid he’ll break a bone.
“We were playing with the dogs and Jesse saw ‘em and lost his shit and bellowed. Kadi got scared and scampered into Ethan’s lap so fast and so tight, I wasn’t sure he’d be able to catch her, but he did,” Xander tells me quietly. His voice is hoarse with emotion.
“Finally found out about those dogs. He’s had those dogs this whole fuckin’ time, man,” I say to Jesse with a smirk.
“Fucker,” is all he says.
Xan doesn’t even crack a smile. “Jess calmed down our girl. She asked if Jesse was going to hurt the dogs. He told her he would never and she was okay.”
“I asked if she’d had a dog,” Jesse groans. “I wasn’t thinking. Christ. I’m sorry, man.”
I just shake my head. “It was bound to happen sooner or later. She hasn’t grieved at all. I know Syd prepared her for this, but there’s no way she could just accept her mom being gone. She’s finally let herself feel it.”
“I didn’t know what to do,” Ethan says anguished. “She clung to me like a spider monkey and cried so hard I thought her lungs were going to fall out with the way she was howling.” A tear slips from his eye. “I tried to comfort her, Jace. I just—”
“You held her and let her cry it out. You soothed her, rubbing her back and saying soft words to her. That’s all you could have done,” Summer tells him. “She needed this. If she’d have held this in until she was older, it wouldn’t be good.”
Ethan nods. “I know how that feels. I wouldn’t want that for her.”
“I’ve got my bachelor’s in psychology if you ever need to talk,” Summer offers Ethan. I already know the answer before he says it.
“Thanks, but I’m good.”
Though it doesn’t seem like he is.
“What do we do?” Xan asks.
“Life as usual. Don’t even bring it up unless she does. Treat her as you have been, like nothing’s wrong. She needs to work this out on her own for a little while now that she’s opened up the hurt,” Summer answers.
“She’s six. How much can she work out?” I ask.
Summer smiles softly. “You’d be surprised how much children can handle on their own. I think she needs to have some sessions with a licensed professional, though.”
“Joan’s licensed,” Jesse reminds us.
“Joan?” Summer asks.
“Joan Wathey. She fosters kids of all ages,” I tell her.
“I know who she is. Wow. And she's Cage's mom?”
“Yeah—well, she fostered him after he lost his mom.”
“She’s his mom. That’s incredible. I’ve met her more than once and sat in on some sessions of hers. She would be terrific with Kadence,” Summer agrees.
“Perfect. I’ll call her in a bit and set that up. I think I need to talk to her about a couple other things as well. Does Kadi really not want to take dance with Mr. Weaver? Or is she just wanting her mom to teach her and no one else? So many questions,” I mutter.
“You’ll figure it out, Jace,” Summer reassures me.
“I hope so. I don’t want to fuck her up.”
It’s cool enough tonight to leave the balcony doors open. The sheer curtains are pulled back, still fluttering in the breeze, and the moonlight flooding the bedroom, illuminating Summer as she leans forward to kiss me.
My hands glide over her smooth skin. Her curves a miracle, her body a treasure.
Her breath hitches as she rides me, slowly, sensuously, like we’ve got all the time in the world and every sensation is a gift. It is. She is.
“Summer,” I murmur softly, reaching up to cup her cheek.
“Mmm,” she purrs, sitting up straight, running her hands up her thighs, over her stomach, up to her breasts. She pauses to give them a gentle squeeze and I groan. Those hands move up to her neck, going around to the back of her neck where she lifts her hair, and she moans.
“Christ, you’re beautiful.”
The moonlight silhouettes her from behind, and when she turns her head, the look of rapture on her face matches how I feel.
I lift my hips, thrusting deeper into her, needing more. She moans again, “Oh, yes.”
I keep lifting as she lowers, matching her even as she picks up speed.
“Jace,” she breathes out.
“Come for me, Summer. Come all over my cock. Let me feel you.”
Her pussy starts squeezing me and I know she’s about to go over, so I lift up hard and deep into her, setting her off.
“Jace,” she moans. “Oh my God, Jace.”
Fuck yeah. It’s so god damn hot hearing her moan out my name like that, knowing I gave that to her.
Her orgasm pulls at mine, forcing it to the fore. Her hot moisture mixing with my cum as I let go, shooting off inside her. Thrust after thrust has me coming more, so hard, that when I’m done my legs are shaking.
Summer collapses on top of me, my half-hard cock still inside her.
I run my fingertips up and down her back as she turns her head into my neck, her breath feathering across my skin.
“Can I tell you something without you freaking out and running away?” I ask, quietly.
“Mmm,” she purrs. “Go ahead. I couldn’t move if I wanted to.”
Hell yeah. I did that. I did what no one else is going to ever do to her. Ever. She’s mine. The only hesitation I have is her booking it out of here, but I can run faster than she can. I’ll catch her before she gets too far.
“I love you, Summer,” I whisper against her forehead.
She sits up so fast she nearly hits me in the nose with her head.
“What did you just say?” Summer whispers back, her breath uneven, a bit hesitant.
I reach up and tuck her hair behind her ear, then cup her cheeks with my hands, pulling her down to where I can see her in the dark. “I said, I love you, Summer.”
“But… what? You love me?”
“So much,” I tell her, pouring my heart out for her. Christ, let’s hope she molds it back into shape.
“I don’t understand.”
“What part of that don’t you understand, darlin’?”
“You’re a rockstar.”
“That I am.”
“Rockstars don’t do love.”
“You’re painting all of us with the same brush again, Summer. We’re not all the same. Besides, there are a lot of rockers who do love, marriage, and family,” I explain.
“Is that what you want?” she asks, surprised.
“Hell yeah, it is.”
“With me.”
“Yep.”
“Well…”
“Breathe, darlin’.”
“I’m breathing, just shocked,” she admits.
“Care to tell me why?”
She nods. “Let’s shower first.”
We shower in silence. I dry Summer off, in spite of her protests she can do it herself. Of course she can, but I want to. I’ve spent all of this time without her, I want to be as close to her as I can. I want to do all the little things I’ve missed out on. I want to do the big things that will create forever memories.
I lie on my side, arm under my pillow, my hand holding Summer’s as she faces me in the same position
. The moonlight shines its dim rays across the bedroom as I wait for this beautiful woman to finally open her soul to me.
I can tell this is going to be a big moment for her, so I’ll stay quiet and just be supportive.
“Growing up, all I ever knew was rockers. My mom left me with my dad most of the time. She was a model and it was harder for me to be with her if she was working. Going with my dad, I had more people to take care of me. Being on tour with them wasn’t so bad. It was when we got home that things…” she trails off shaking her head.
“The first time I saw someone sucking off my Uncle Mick, I was nine. It was during a time when the band was into partying off tour, and by partying I mean drinking and drugs and fucking anything with a pussy,” she cringes.
“It’s crude, but it’s the facts. Over the years, I learned to ignore it, stay in my room, or, if the party got too loud, I’d take a cab to a hotel. The Ritz-Carlton had my dad’s credit card on file so any time I needed to get away, they gave me a room. I had a bodyguard who vouched for my identity. At ten, it’s kind of hard to prove who you are, you know?
“Anyway, I learned to live with the lifestyle. Even after they gave up the drugs, the drinking, parties, and fucking would still go on. The things I’ve seen, Jace,” she tells me quietly, a tear slipping from her eye, “a child should never have to see.”
I reach out with our joined hands and wipe the tear away.
“Orgies, Jace. Drugs everywhere. Pills. Coke on a mirror on the coffee table, lines all set to go. I almost licked some of it once thinking it was powdered candy. That’s what the guys called it, so how was I to know it probably would have killed me?”
“One time,” she begins, but her voice cracks. She clears her throat and continues. “One time, they’d had a week-long party. I stayed at a friend’s house. When I came home, the house was clean. Obviously the cleaning service had been there. I watched TV and started eating a bunch of junk food, including some candy that we always had in a dish beside the sofa.”
Oh fuck. I can already see where this is going. I force myself not to clench my fists or squeeze her hand, but it’s all I can do not to howl at the top of my lungs at how they did her wrong.
“One of the candies wasn’t candy, but I didn’t know that until I passed out. I’d ingested X. I was thirteen. The ER doctors thought I was a troubled young teen who’d started doing drugs and I had to let them think that, because if I told them the truth, if I told them it was a pill from one of my dad’s wild parties that got tossed into the bowl accidentally, social services would have taken me in a heartbeat.
“Looking back, it might have been a blessing instead of the nightmare I thought it would be. If they’d taken me, would my dad have cleaned up his act? Would the parties have stopped?” She shrugs. “I’ll never know because I was too big of a coward to rat him out.
“I realized drugs weren’t so bad. They stopped you from feeling, so I started doing them. I was at a private school and we could get anything we wanted there. I really enjoyed coke and speed, then a downer to go to sleep. My grades were incredible, my energy level out of this world, and I was skinny. I was as happy as I could be with my life.
“Then, my mom saw photos of me online partying with my friends. She saw the drugs and alcohol and came home. She took me from my dad, who had the nerve to be outraged,” she snorts.
“My mom laid into him and I swear I thought they were going to have a knock down, drag out fight, but when she showed him the photos and videos the media had gotten ahold of, he wasn’t angry. He was shocked and even a bit ashamed—not nearly ashamed enough if you ask me.
“He tried to make nice with me, but by then I wanted nothing to do with him or any of the guys unless we were touring. They were discrete there so if they banged anyone or got blown, they did it nowhere around me.
“My mom took care of me. Got me into counseling. I wasn’t addicted to the drugs, I just did them to go numb and forget how fucked up my life was.”
“Everyone assumes the life of a rocker’s daughter is glamorous. It’s a fucking nightmare—at least mine was. And this is where I judged you all unfairly. As you said, I painted you all with the same brush when your color is much brighter than my dad’s.
“I assumed you all were like that with the women and partying, the drugs. I was dead set on taking that little girl out of here and putting her somewhere safe where she would never have to see or experience the things I had to.”
She looks up and meets my gaze.
“I would have taken her from you, Jace. If you’d have been at all like my dad and his band, I would have taken her and she’d have been somewhere safe. I won’t apologize for that. I can’t. It’s who I am and, now, it’s my job.”
I knew she’d been thinking about it the first time she walked through the door and stepped out into the sunshine while I taught my baby girl how to swim.
“But then I got to know you—all of you, and I realized yours was a home. A genuine home full of love and laughter. Sure, there were arguments. Everyone has them, but you all are the perfect family—even if it is an unconventional setup.
“There are so many people in this house—no, this is so much more than a house. It’s more than a mansion. It’s huge!”
I can’t help myself. “That’s what she said!”
I chuckle and Summer groans. “Lame!”
I think I’ve been around Xander too much. That’s something he would’ve said. I’ll have to tell him about it. He’ll probably fist bump me with pride.
“The day you took me along to the studio, I saw the real people being the labels. I saw the love of what you do, the love for one another, the camaraderie. It was like nothing I’d ever seen, and when Kadi started to dance with Nicole, feeling so safe and free from judgment, I knew she was right where she belonged.
“She is loved, cherished, and taken care of better than anyone could ever hope to be. She belongs with you, Jace. Granted, there are issues she’s going to have to struggle through, and you’ll struggle with her, but she’s going to grow up happy and healthy. All that because of you.
“And knowing your heart as I do now, I couldn’t be more sure that I’m in love with you, too. I can trust you—I do trust you. I know you won’t break my heart and you know I won’t break yours.
“So that leaves only one question: What now?”
She loves me. I breathe out a breath of relief. She’s not going to run. She’s going to stick. She’s going to let me love her and she’s going to love me back.
“Now we work on our happily ever after,” I tell her, pulling her into my arms, careful of her back, kissing her slowly, pouring every ounce of love I have into this kiss and giving it to her.
My heart is hers.
Part IV
New beginnings.
26
Summer
I let out a sigh as he breaks the kiss.
“So my childhood isn’t too much for you?” I ask.
“Not at all. In fact, it explains a lot. It explains why you didn’t trust me to want our weekend to be more than that. And like I told you, darlin’, I never would’ve given you my number if I didn’t expect you to use it.”
“Right, but I thought that meant a booty call or another weekend fuckfest. How was I supposed to know you wanted more than a fling?” I ask.
He shrugs, caressing my face with his hand. “I should’ve been more clear. You could’ve asked. You could’ve taken a chance.”
“I’m not much on taking chances if my heart’s at risk of being stomped on,” I admit.
“I see that now. But you have no worries about that. I don’t plan on stomping on your heart. Ever.”
“Good to know.”
“It took you long enough to fucking tell me you loved me. I was sweating bullets over here,” I tease.
She rolls her eyes. “Please. I needed to explain before I gave myself to you.”
“I like how you said that. Because that’s how I see you now. Mine.??
?
“Oh boy.”
He chuckles. “There is one thing I need to tell you. I think you know but I’m not assuming shit anymore.”
“Okay. Lay it on me.”
“I plan on it.”
Groan.
“But first, you know who Lucy’s grandfather is, correct?”
I nod. “Yeah, of course. Who doesn’t know that? Why?”
“That’s the reason for the security. The Russo-Manzini feud is still going strong.”
“What does that mean exactly?” I ask, a little afraid.
“It’s bad. I won’t lie to you. There’ve been some murders. The kidnapping of Jesse’s sister. She got involved with a guy she didn’t realize was one of the bad guys. They raped and tortured her before she was rescued. Then she turned a gun on herself.”
“Oh my God! Yeah, so I’m a little freaked out about that.”
“Me too. We’ve got intense security, but that means no going anywhere without your two pals and driver. You’re one of us now. Welcome,” he says sarcastically.
“And what a welcome it is. Kidnappings, rapes, and murders; oh my!”
He chuckles. “Funny. It’s good that you can joke about this, because if you couldn’t you’d be shitting bricks right now. I knew you were bad ass.”
I lift my chin. “Fuck yeah, I’m bad ass.”
“A whole lot more bad ass than I imagined. I’m sorry you had to grow up with that, Summer. Really. That’s no way for a father to raise his child. Thank you for trusting me with that, and if ever there’s anything you don’t feel comfortable with as far as my career and our family, I expect you to tell me. Not the beat-me-over-the-head-with-a-rolling-pin tell me, but a discussion tell me,” he says.
“I can do that. Do you want more kids?” I blurt out and immediately wish I could take the question back. What the fuck, Summer?
He smiles that almost-perfect smile. There’s a tiny gap between his top front two teeth, just a couple millimeters, but it’s there and it’s endearing. Humanizing.
“I do want more kids. Do you want kids? And you know I come with a ready-made little girl, so…” he trails off.