“I’d like kids. I’d like to have them before I’m thirty.”
“How old are you, exactly? I never did ask. You could be illegal for all I know,” he teases.
“Illegal. Do I look underage to you?”
“Oh, I don’t know. You do look pretty young.”
“Hmm. I’m twenty-four.”
“Well, what d’ya know. As of May twenty-third, so am I. When’s your birthday?”
“August sixteenth. You’re older,” I tease.
“Good. I like younger women.”
“Excuse me?” I glare, teasing.
He clears his throat. “Pardon me. I liked younger women. Now I love only you.”
“Aww. Good answer,” I tell him, pressing my lips to his. I ease back when I hear the pitter patter of little feet.
“Summer?” Kadi whispers.
“Yeah, baby,” I answer, rolling over.
“Can I sleep with you?” she asks, her unicorn tucked close to her chest. She looks so vulnerable it hurts my heart.
“Of course, Kadi.” I scoot back toward Jace, who’s been silent, just watching us. I like that he trusts me to take care of his daughter, even when he’s right there and could interrupt and do it himself.
I lift the covers and Kadi bounces up on the bed.
“Do you want the middle, sweetheart?” I ask.
“Can I?” she asks.
I hug her to me. “You can have whatever you want—within reason.”
“Mommy used to say that too,” she tells me.
“Climb aboard,” I tell her patting my belly.
Kadi giggles and lies on her stomach on top of me.
“Here we go. Hold on tight! The seas are rough tonight,” I play, rolling from side to side, holding her to me with my arms, before rolling to face Jace and putting Kadi on her back between us.
“That was fun. I like that ride,” Kadi tells me.
“Good. We’ll have to do it again sometime. But it’s sleep time now.”
“Can I have some water first?” she hedges and Jace chuckles. Kadi giggles at her daddy and, as she lies facing me just as Jace is, his head right above hers, they are nearly mirror images of one another.
“She looks just like you,” I mutter, my heart warm with emotion.
I hand Kadi my bottle of water and she takes a sip. Good. Too much and she’d be up in a couple hours having to pee.
“Let’s get some rest,” Jace says.
Kadi’s back is tucked into Jace’s chest and her little hand reaches for mine. I kiss it then rest it back on the bed. Jace covers our hands with his large one, and the sight of that has tears threatening to spill.
I never imagined I’d be in this position. With Jace Warner, a rockstar, and his baby girl—so deeply in love with both of them.
“Sleep well fairy princess.”
“Night-night, Summer. Night-night, Daddy.”
“Goodnight, pumpkin. Night, my love.”
“Good night my future baby daddy.”
He chuckles and Kadi giggles though she has no idea what she’s giggling at. She’s just doing it because Jace is and I love it. The giggles and chuckles ruined the goodnights, so they begin again.
This is where I belong.
The next two weeks bring chaos, laughs, and me getting to know everyone a bit better. Spenser and the girls insisted on giving me a makeover. I tried to refuse but they were having none of it. I walked out of their studio feeling like a new woman. I’d been feeling unattractive lately. I hadn’t made the time to get my hair highlighted or cut. I didn’t make time to get my mani/pedi like I used to. I hadn’t even been using the exfoliating wash I enjoyed using so much when I showered.
I think I was depressed, and I’m pretty sure that had a lot to do with my missing Jace. But I’m the one who did that. I didn’t call him. I didn’t make it an option. He was right. I did paint him and all rockers, hell, all musicians, with the same brush and color. I’m ashamed of myself for that. It’s no different than racism or discrimination.
I know how I became that person, but that doesn’t make it right. Just because a few are—not bad, but rather do bad things, that doesn’t mean all of them do. Just like it doesn’t mean all white people are good. Stereotyping.
This is something I fight against and here I was doing it because of my dad’s behavior. Granted, I’d seen it with other rockers, but that doesn’t mean they still do that now.
The other night at dinner, Jace brought up my dad and his band and what I went through as a kid. It became an entire family discussion and it got rowdy and, at times, heated. I explained to them why I felt how I did, but that even though I felt the way I did, I knew it wasn’t right. I admitted that was why I hadn’t called Jace. Jace didn’t like that much at all—even hearing it the second time.
Jesse explained to me how they’d lived that life as well, parties and women and tons of indiscriminate sex with groupies. He told me how he met Lucy and felt a connection but at the time he wasn’t ready and Lucy’d been too young. At that point, he was a, and I quote, “manwhore”. That’s Lucy’s word.
“How long do I have to live with that title?” Jesse asked.
“Forever. You do the crime, you do the time,” Lucy teased.
I laughed as did everyone else at the table. Then Jesse got up, leaned down, and threw Lucy over his shoulder, muttering about sassy women and smacking her ass.
It was hot. So hot.
Tonight it’s just me and Jace in the bedroom. We just put Kadi down for the night. She absolutely loves The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein just as I do.
I take off my top to put my pajamas on, and Jace presses his chest against my back. His hands come around to cup my breasts as he nuzzles my neck.
“I’ve waited,” he begins, nipping at my neck. “I was patient and gentle, but you’re healing and you’re not stiff anymore.” He tugs on my earlobe with his teeth. “So, tonight, I’m not going to be gentle. Tonight you’re going to get that spanking I promised when you were being a brat.”
I tip my head back.
He undoes the front clasp of my bra, slides it off and tosses it to the floor. Next come my shorts and panties. Before I know it, I’m standing naked before him and he’s fully clothed. I feel more than just naked, I feel extremely vulnerable.
Jace steps back, lifting his shirt over his head and dropping it.
“By the bed,” he orders.
I have to admit, it’s always turned me on when he’s ordered me around in bed. I think that’s part of what connected us that first weekend. He was himself and I was me, and we fit. There was no embarrassment or shame or hiding. We just… were.
But tonight feels different. It’s more than just being comfortable. It means more. Tonight is about trust—on both of our parts. He’s trusting me to be able to tell him if something is too much and I’m trusting him with not just my body, but my heart and mind. I’m trusting him to take care of me, to pleasure me, and to not hurt me.
I stand there and wait for him. He sits down on the edge, then guides me across his lap.
“Jace,” I whisper. No one’s ever spanked me but him. I know I like it, but I’m still nervous.
“I’m going to spank this beautiful ass, Summer. I’m going to touch you and get you hot and wet and so turned on you’re going to want to come, but you won’t.”
I turn my head to look at him over my shoulder. “I won’t?”
“No. You will not come until I tell you you can.”
“But—”
“No. No more ‘buts’. Here’s how we’re going to play this. Green means you’re good, or go. Yellow means you need a breather. Red means you’re about to come, and you better say red and stop before you come or I’ll fuck you all night and not let you come again, understand?” he asks.
I nod.
“Words. I need words tonight, Summer.”
“Yes, I understand.”
“If you want to stop, you say black, but you better mean it because
if you say black, we’re done for the night because I’ll know I took you farther than you wanted to go or are comfortable with,” he tells me. “Be sure, because I’m going to push you but I never want to make you feel like you need to say black.”
“Okay.”
“Tell me the safe words.”
“Green is go. Yellow means I need a minute. Red means I’m right there on the edge. Black means stop,” I repeat.
He nods. “Very good. I’m not a sadist, Summer, but I like to tease and test limits. I’ve never had the chance to do this so freely, which means I’m new to this too, and that’s why those words are so important.”
“Okay.”
“Promise you won’t let me take you too far. I would never want to hurt you. Ever.”
“I promise.”
He nods. His gaze lifts to mine and holds it as his hand lifts and comes down heavy against my ass. I let out a yelp, and turn away from him. This is going to hurt. It’s going to hurt and I’m going to cry, but I’m going to let him have this one thing, just this one time, because it’s something he needs.
27
Jace
She didn’t even flinch. I rub a soothing hand over her right ass cheek then spank the left.
“Breathe, darlin’. If you keep holding your breath, you’re going to pass out,” I tell her, gripping her hip gently to get her attention. I feel her body deflate. How the hell long has she been holding that breath?
“Keep breathing. In. Out. There you go, Summer. I won’t hurt you. Just a little pain to bring you pleasure. I remember how your pussy creamed that weekend. I remember how hard you came, nearly strangling my cock inside your tight pussy. Do you remember?” I ask, dipping a finger between her legs to find her wet.
“Yes,” she answers.
“Good girl,” I praise. “You get rewarded for using words.”
I push a finger inside her pussy and she moans. I slowly move the finger in and out of her, then add a second finger. The second finger has her lifting her ass and pushing back.
“Uh-uh,” I tell her, slipping my fingers out. “You need to remain still, or I stop rewarding you.”
She doesn’t make a sound, but I can tell by the stiff set of her shoulders she doesn’t like hearing that.
I spank her again, twice, rapidly, and she gasps. I’m not sure if it’s shock or if it’s pain, but she didn’t say any of the words.
“Still green?” I ask.
She nods.
“Words, darlin’. Always need words when we’re like this.”
“Yes,” she pants out. “Green.”
I’ve never been able to let loose like this, and I’m not going to pretend to know everything about it, but when we played with spanking in the hotel, she got so damn hot and wet, and holy fuck did she come hard. She screamed out my name. It was one of the hottest things I’d ever seen.
Double smacks to the other cheek and then I run my hand over both globes, slowly, easing off the sting for her.
“Do you like that? Answer with a color,” I command.
“Yellow,” she replies without hesitation.
I’ll ease up a bit on the pressure of the spanks, just give her a little graze. When I spank her this time, she moans. Oh yeah. That’s what she likes.
“Jace,” she breathes.
“Mmm,” I hum. “Feels good, huh. Let’s see how much you like it.”
Again, I reach down and slip two fingers into her. She moans again, louder this time.
I’m so damn hard, my cock is leaking cum, and her hip moving against me has me fighting for my own control.
Enough of this. This isn’t what I want. This isn’t who we are. This is more Kennedy’s style, though not so much the spanking as the control.
“Up,” I say, helping her to stand. “On the bed, on all fours.”
She does as I ask, a little confused at my abrupt change in plans, but she doesn’t question me. She’s trusting me. She's wary and I understand her hesitancy. After all, I, as a rocker, am a mirror reflection of her dad at my age. That’s something that’s going to take her awhile to get past—that being the image she has in her head.
“Keep your eyes open,” I tell her. I take off my jeans and boxers before climbing onto the bed behind her, my dick resting on the crease of her ass. That’s something I haven’t done either, but we’re not ready to go there. I grin, thinking if she knew just how much I haven’t done, she’d be pretty damn surprised.
Groupies are for getting sucked off at the after party. They don’t go on the bus, and sometimes I’m afraid to fuck them. Some of them look worn. Others just know their way around too easily and that tells me they’re used to banging musicians. A lot. I don’t mind going where someone else has been, but I don’t want anything they’ve left behind, and condoms don’t protect against everything.
I remember at a festival we were playing, a dude in another band was pissed because a chick he’d banged the weekend before left him with a bad case of crabs. That’s so fucked up, but a hell of a lot better than a case of herpes.
Fucking around isn’t a joke anymore. It’s something, even when you want to fuck anything that moves, you have to take seriously enough to protect yourself.
But now I’ve got Summer and I won’t have to think about that shit anymore. We both got clean bills of health from our doctors, for some extra reassurance for her. I trusted her, but I don’t blame her for wanting that piece of paper from me. I wasn’t as bad as the other guys in the bands, but I had my fair share of willing pussy. I would never risk Summer like that but I’m damn glad she has the courage to ask for what she wants, even at the risk of hurting me. I want nothing less from her.
“Can I speak?” she asks.
“Yeah, darlin’.”
“What happened?”
“That’s not us. Me spanking you while I fuck you from behind? That’s us. I don’t need to test you or spank you into trusting me. Time’s the only thing that’ll bring that for us. What others do and what works for them, that’s not us,” I tell her.
She nods. “It’s not us.”
“But this is,” I tell her as I guide my cock into her hot, wet pussy. I groan long and loud, slowly sliding deeper and deeper until I’m balls deep. “Jesus. You feel so fucking good. I’ll never get used to how you grip me, how wet you get.”
I pull back just a little bit, then slam into her hard.
“Oh, Jace,” she moans.
“Fuck yeah, keep moaning my name, darlin’.”
I get to moving then and when she starts thrusting back against me, taking me impossibly deeper, I reach up to grab ahold of her hair in my fist, giving it a gentle tug.
“You like that?” I ask.
“Mmm, yes,” she breathes.
I smack her ass.
“How about that?”
“Oh yes,” she moans.
I spank her again and again, her pussy getting hotter as her arousal floods around my dick.
“Mother of fuck,” I curse when I feel my orgasm begin to build. I fuck her faster and harder and she meets every fucking thrust.
I pull her hair harder, her head thrown back, her eyes open and glazed with pleasure.
“I can feel you starting to squeeze me. You’re gonna come for me, aren’t you,” I say.
“Yes. So close,” she hisses.
“You want to come all over my cock, clench your pussy all around me, don’t you?”
“Yes, oh God, when you talk dirty… mmm,” she hums.
Hell fucking yes.
I spank her once and then again. I slow down my thrusts just a bit and there she is.
“Oh, son of a bitch,” I curse when she gushes all over my cock, her pussy grasping me like a tight fucking fist, pulling me closer with every spasm.
“Jace. Oh my… mmm, Jace!” She screams my name into the pillow, her entire body shaking with pleasure, and I can’t hold back anymore. I don’t even try.
I let loose with a long groan of pleasure as the first pul
se of cum releases into her, each one after that as strong as the first. I grip her hips tight, probably too tight, but, holy fuck, I can’t help it. It feels impossible, this breath-stealing pleasure.
My body shudders with one last explosion of cum into her, and I collapse over her back.
She collapses underneath me and we both laugh breathlessly.
“How,” I begin, then catch my breath. “How do you do that?”
“Me?” she asks as if she can’t believe what I’m asking.
“Yeah you. You start to come and your pussy gets so fucking tight and you get so hot and wet that I can’t hold back, and when I start to come, you come even harder. Jesus. Sometimes I think I won’t survive,” I confess.
“Well, when you come inside me, I feel it so deep, and you always hit me just right that it’s impossible not to scream,” she tells me.
I grunt and roll to my side, hating it when I slide out of her.
“Summer.”
She turns her head and opens her eyes, still lying on her stomach, her hair a mess from my fisting it, her cheeks flushed.
“Hmm?”
“I love you, and not just because you fuck me so good I think my brains leak out of my cock when I come.”
She grins and laughs. “That might explain me feeling like a genius lately.”
I let out a laugh. Christ, she’s amazing.
“I love you, Jace.”
My breath hitches and my chest gets tight. I look away before she sees me looking like a pussy.
“What is it?” she asks.
I swallow hard and look up at her. “That’s the first time you’ve said it like that. That you love me with my name. I don’t know why, but it’s different when you do.”
She smiles softly. “It’s because ‘I love you too’ is overrated and you don’t truly know who the ‘you’ is. You wonder if you’re wrong thinking it’s you. But, Jace, I’ve never been in love with anyone but you, so it’ll always be you.”
I nod. “I’m feeling like a chick right now.”
She touches my cheek. “That’s because no one has ever loved you right, either. I promise I always will.”