“You know you can always stop in, what can I do for you, Tomcat?”
She grins and rolls her eyes at him. “You all know I hate that nickname?”
Cade smirks, and reaches out for my hand, pulling me close. “It’s the eyes,” he says.
“Damn eyes, I’ll never live them down.”
Cade chuckles. “Did you meet my girl?”
Ciara nods. “I did. She’s lovely.”
I grin at her, and she returns it. Then she turns back to Cade. “I’m here about Spike.”
Cade flinches, and I rub my hand up and down his back, soothing him.
“What about him?”
“I know he’s in town.”
“He won’t bother you. We’ve made sure of that.”
“I kind of wanted to talk to him.”
Cade raises his brows. “You can’t be serious? Every time you two are in the same room, you end up ripping each other’s fuckin’ heads off.”
Ciara rolls her eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic; we only half tear them off.”
Cade laughs and I find myself laughing too. Ciara has a bubbly personality. She’s the kind of girl I could get along with quite easily. She’s not much older than me either by the looks of it. Maybe twenty-three.
“Why would you wanna see him anyway?”
“I wanted to talk to him. Look, I know I was harsh on him. What happened wasn’t anyone’s fault. My sister made her choice; it wasn’t Spike’s fault it ended the way it did. I’ve had some time to understand that.”
“Spike ain’t gonna hear of it, you know that?”
She nods. “I have to try though. Maybe it will bring him some sort of peace. I know he loved Cheyenne.”
“Your parents know you’re here, Tomcat?”
Ciara visibly stiffens. “No, and it wouldn’t go down well.”
“You hated him for years after her death. You forgave me when it was my fault. He ain’t goin’ to take your apology well.”
“It was no one’s fault. Not yours or his. You were both trying to save her. It went wrong. It’s the end of it.”
“Ain’t never that simple, and you know it.”
She shrugs. “Sometimes it has to be.”
“I don’t talk to Spike, so you’re gonna have to find him on your own.”
“You know where he’s staying through, right?”
Cade shakes his head. “You ain’t goin’ over there alone, Ciara.”
“Don’t get over protective with me, Cade. I’m not going to get hurt. He wouldn’t hurt me.”
“Spike’s bitter.”
“He’s okay,” I blurt and Cade turns, eyes widening. Shit, I have to fix that outburst. “I mean, he’s not a monster, Cade. I’ve seen him a few times, and he’s never tried to hurt me.”
“He tried to hand you over to a pimp willing to kill you,” Cade grunts.
“He didn’t know.”
“Still think it’s a bad idea sendin’ her over.”
“Then we’ll go with her.”
Cade shakes his head. “A Hell’s Knight can’t go into a Heaven’s Sinner’s compound; it’s far against the rules. We might have a truce to get along, but even that’s out of bounds.”
“Then I’ll go with her.”
“Like fuck,” Cade grunts.
“No, look,” Ciara says, putting her hands up, “I’ll figure it out. Don’t you two tangle yourselves up in it.”
“You ain’t goin’ alone, Ciara.”
She gives Cade a look. “I’m a big girl.”
“No.”
“Let me go with her. Spike won’t hurt me, Cade, and you know he won’t.”
“I said, fuckin’, no,” he grates out.
Ciara puts up her hands. “Stop arguing you two, it’s fine. I’ll leave it for now, okay?”
Cade gives her a look, and I cross my arms.
“Spike won’t hurt me Cade, what’s the problem?” I protest.
“The problem,” he grinds out. “Is not that I think Spike will hurt you, ‘coz I know he won’t. The problem is that it’s Heaven’s Sinner’s territory now, and we don’t fuckin’ go on their territory. That includes you, Addison. I won’t fuckin’ tell you again. You’re not fuckin’ goin’.”
God, I hate bossy Cade. I give him a glare, which he returns with full force.
“Whatever, I’ve got to go to work,” I snap.
“I’ll make a few calls,” Cade says, though his voice is still hard. “Then I’ll take you.”
“I’m heading over to the compound,” Ciara says. “I can take her.”
I turn to her. “That would be great, I’d prefer your company right now. I’ll just go and get changed.”
Cade snorts, but I brush past him and head up the stairs. I walk into his room, and begin changing for work. A moment later he comes in behind me.
“The fuck was that about?”
I spin around, buttoning up my pants. “That was because you think you can control everything I do.”
“It’s not about control, it’s about respect for another club.”
“We only wanted to talk to him,” I snap.
“Don’t fuckin’ care. You won’t be goin’ there, Addison. You got it?”
“Yeah, I got it!”
I storm past him, shoving his hand away when he reaches out to grip mine. I head downstairs, and out the front door. Ciara is waiting beside her car. She smiles when she sees me.
“Ready?” she asks.
“Yep, ready.”
I don’t look back at Cade’s house as I slide into Ciara’s front seat. When she pulls out of the drive, I turn to her.
“Head to Spike’s.”
Her eyes widen. “Addison, that’s not a good idea. Cade said no.”
“It will take five minutes, he won’t know.”
“Addison…”
“Trust me, Ciara. Do you want to speak to Spike or not?”
She nods weakly. “I do.”
“Then go.”
“Are you sure about this?”
“Fuck yes I’m sure, Cade doesn’t own me.”
“He kind of doe…”
“No,” I growl. “He doesn’t. Let’s go.”
We’re both silent for long moments, then Ciara turns to me again.
“You honestly didn’t have to do this, Cade will be furious.”
“He’ll get over it. It’s about time Cade learned he can’t tell me what to do.”
“God girl, you’ve got far too much spunk.”
I laugh. “So, you and Spike? Things seem pretty bad between you two.”
She sighs and pulls a set of sunglasses over her eyes. “Yeah, it started long before my sister passed. Spike was my first, if you know what I mean?”
My mouth drops open. “Cade said you had a crush on him. He didn’t say he slept with you!”
She laughs. “Cade leaves out those details. He’s just protecting me.”
“So you and Spike…have history?”
She shrugs. “I suppose you could call it history. We met one night and we became friends. I knew he was crushing on my sister, but I didn’t care. I was a revenge fuck, I’m sure of it. He saw her one night out with another man and he got angry. He found me at the bar, and one thing lead to another. We had sex. He didn’t know it was my first time until later when my sister went sick at him. She cared about him too, and was using the other man to make him jealous. When she found out Spike slept with me, she got angry. I was heartbroken, being used like that. I knew Spike had feelings for me, but they weren’t as strong as the ones he had for Cheyenne. I went away for a while. When I came back they were married.”
Jesus, that’s a fucked up story. I can’t imagine how painful that would have been for Ciara, loving a man who was not interested in her at all.
“I’m sorry, that would have been awful,” I say gently.
“It wasn’t nice.”
“Do you still care about him?”
She quickly glances out the window. “No,” sh
e says, but I can see how her body stiffens. Ciara is in love with Spike; it’s written all over her.
“What’s his real name?” I ask, changing the subject.
She giggles. “You know, I didn’t know the answer to that until a few years ago.”
I smile. “Everyone calls him Spike; he clearly has no need for his name.”
“No, I suppose he doesn’t. It’s Danny.”
I giggle loudly. “How did they get Spike out of Danny?”
She flushes and I give her an ‘oh you have to tell’ look.
“Oh spill!” I urge.
“Well, Spike is known for his…well, spikes.”
“His spikes?”
“He has numerous, um, spikes in his…”
“Oh, Jesus!” I yell.
Ciara laughs. “He has to take every one of them out when he gets lucky, they’re literally sharp spikes. There’s about seven of them.”
“What is wrong with that man?” I laugh. “He’s got some seriously twisted fetishes.”
She nods. “I’ve heard. The piercings are one thing, but putting big spikes in them, is a whole other story.”
“It must get frustrating for him to have to take them out every time.”
She flushes again. “He makes it part of the…experience.”
“I’m sorry what?”
“He makes it a task for women, or at least I’ve heard that’s what he does. He has them remove them, while they’re…you know…sucking him.”
“La la la la la!” I cry, pressing one hand to my ear. “Don’t wanna know!”
Ciara laughs. “No one said the man was normal.”
“Clearly, he’s not normal,” I chuckle.
Ciara and I chat the entire way to the old warehouse the Heaven’s Sinners have decided to shack up at. We park the car outside the large gates, and slip out. Ciara looks nervous as we walk towards the gates, her hands are fumbling together over and over.
“It’s going to be fine,” I say, though I’m not sure it is. Even my heart is thudding now. I know it’s a risk coming here, and I know if Cade finds out, I’m dead. God, me and my stubborn head.
“I hope so,” she murmurs.
When we reach the gates, I rattle them loudly and call out, “SPIKE!”
Ciara stares at me, completely shocked. “Aren’t you worried about screaming at the fence of a massive MC lot?”
“No.”
I watch as a group of bikers walk out of the warehouse, guns in the air. Spike walks out behind them, looking as utterly breathtaking as he always does. I wave to him, giving him a grin. “It’s me!” I yell in a singsong voice. I’m being sarcastic, of course, but I’m just trying to lighten the mood.
Ciara gapes at me. “Are you asking to get shot?”
“Spike won’t shoot me. If he wanted to, he would have. Trust me,” I murmur.
Spike waves his hand, and the men lower their guns. He pulls a pair of sunglasses over his head and begins walking towards us. When his gazes fall on Ciara, he stops. He just stops dead in his tracks.
“The fuck are you doin’ here?” he barks at her.
“Play nice, Spike. She only wants to talk,” I say.
He turns to glare at me. “What the fuck are you doin’ here?”
“Visiting my old pal.”
He raises his brows at me. “You got far too much sass, girl.”
I grin at him. “Just admit it, you want to be my friend.”
His lips twitch, and there’s something about Spike that makes me feel completely safe around him. He’s kind of like Cade; he acts tough, and I have no doubt he is, but he’s also gentle inside. It’s written all over him. For someone like me, that’s lived a life around evil, I can pick the people that have black hearts and the ones who are just putting on a show.
“You’re lucky your man paid me my money.”
“You and I both know you never wanted to hurt me, Spike.”
He raises his brows. “I’m reconsidering that decision.”
I grin again, and watch as he turns back to Ciara. She’s just watching him. I can’t see her expression or his, because they’re both wearing sunglasses.
“Why are you here, Ciara? Ain’t got nothin’ to fuckin’ say to you.”
His voice is hard, but I can hear a hint of pain behind his anger.
“I just wanted to talk with you.”
“As I said,” he growls, “ain’t got nothin’ to fuckin’ say.”
“If you’ll just let me…”
“What part of that don’t you understand?” he barks. “You’re nothin’ to me. You never were. You were no more than a revenge fuck. Stop tryin’ to be my friend; it’s too late for that. You let your folks drag me through hell to get vengeance for your sister. You made my life a living hell. I couldn’t care less if you dropped off the face of this earth.”
My mouth drops open, and Ciara nods weakly. “I understand. I do. I just wanted to say sorry. I wanted you to know I forgive you.”
“Forgive me?” he roars, storming over and gripping the fence. He shakes it hard. “Forgive me for what? For tryin’ to protect her? That other cunt is more to blame than me. I never wanted her to leave the fuckin’ house. You forgave him right away, so don’t you fuckin’ come in here and try to make yourself feel better. That’s all you’re fuckin’ doin’, is makin’ your own demons go away. Fuck you, Ciara.”
Spike spins around, storming towards the warehouse.
“Spike, please, you know I care about you!” she calls, her voice raw and broken.
“Go and fuckin’ die!” he roars, throwing the rude finger up over his shoulder. Well, that went well.
Ciara turns, rushing off towards the car. I just stand at the gate for a moment, before yelling, “Hey you!”
Spike stops and turns, looking at me. He’s panting, his body trembling with rage and emotion.
“You’re a fucking jerk! If I could get past this gate, I would kick your ass! I know you’re better than that, Spike, it’s written all over you. Stop living behind that shield, it’s so fucking see through.”
I don’t give him a chance to respond. I turn on my heel and walk off towards the truck. When I get in, Ciara is crying. I reach across and grip her hands.
“He’ll come around, just give him time.”
God, I hope I’m right.
Because it’s clear as day to me – Spike and Ciara have some serious feelings for each other.
******
I arrive back at the compound an hour later for my shift. I know I’m late, but that’s not uncommon for the girls that work there; it’s about time I got my turn. When I arrive, Cade is pacing outside the front doors. Uh oh. He turns when he hears my boots crunching, and he comes storming over. I guess he figured out what I just did, either that or he’s just pissed I went out and didn’t tell him where. When he reaches me, I can see his eyes flaring. Shit, he’s pissed.
“What. The. Fuck,” he barks.
“What?” I say, in a casual tone.
“You fuckin’ went behind my back, and took Ciara to the Heaven’s Sinners lot.”
God, he knows everything.
“She wanted to see Spike,” I snap. “She had the right.”
“I fuckin’ gave you a direct, mother fuckin’ order.”
“You don’t own me, Cade! We might be together, I might be your Old Lady, but you don’t fucking own me!”
He’s panting with rage now. “Do you have any fuckin’ idea how bad that could have gone? Do you have any clue what those men could have done to you?”
“They weren’t going to hurt me,” I yell.
“Fuck it, Addison,” he roars. “When are you goin’ to fuckin’ grow up?”
“Stop treating me like this,” I cry. “You think you can just tell me what to do all the time, but you can’t!”
“I fuckin’ can, and I fuckin’ will.”
“No!”
He steps closer, gripping my shoulders. “I protect what’s mine, you fuckin’ kno
w that. You runnin’ off like that, you put yourself and me in danger. If you don’t fuckin’ care about yourself, fine, but you should fuckin’ care about this club. What would you have done if Spike decided he didn’t like you on his territory? What would you have done if he decided to start a fuckin’ war? What if someone you loved got hurt, because of you? That could have happened far more easily than you could fuckin’ imagine. Wake up to yourself, Addison, the world don’t fuckin’ revolve around you.”
He lets me go, and storms away. My heart is thudding, and his words burn me to my very core.
Because they’re true.
They’re so horribly, painfully, true.
~*CHAPTER 18*~
PRESENT
“Order up!” I yell, sliding a tray of beer towards Mindy.
She spins, grips the tray and takes it to the group of bikers sitting on the table to the left of us. I begin pouring another lot of beers. I hear the rumble of Harley’s coming into the compound, and I realize my father and the guys are back from their trip to find Jasper. I finish up with the beers, and walk out to greet them. When my father sees me, he puts a smile on his face, but it’s fake. I can see right through him.
“You didn’t find him, did you?” I say when I get close.
“No, we couldn’t find him.”
My chest tightens, but I force a smile. “It will be fine. He’ll show up.”
“He could be hiring anyone to find you now Spike has pulled out.”
“Did you ever think of asking Spike to tell him where I am, and luring him close?”
“Thought of it, but it’s too risky. If one of us isn’t on our game, just for a second, he could have you.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m goin’ to talk to Spike.”
“Why?”
“Because he can make contact, might be able to track the bastard.”
“He will come out, Dad, you shouldn’t be risking so much trying to find him.”
Jackson gives me a sharp look. “The fucker raped my baby girl and made her life a living hell. I’m going to kill him, slowly. I’ll put every waking minute into finding him.”