"No, not exactly. But it couldn't have gone anywhere, and a quick fling isn't my style, so I told him I didn't think it was a good idea for us to see each other again."
Jim eyed her suspiciously. "Cassie, did you ever give the poor man a chance to say what he wanted from you?"
The very last thing she needed was to start worrying about whether Calder might have wanted something more. "Jim, believe me, I have nothing Calder Westing wants beyond a warm body. I know you want to see me happily married off, but he isn't the one."
"I'm not asking you to marry him, just to think about whether you're sure what he wants from you, because I have my doubts."
"You're an old romantic, Jim, and you should go home to your wife."
"Always trying to get rid of me. All right, I can take a hint."
"Since when?"
He laughed. "I know better than to try to get the last word in. Good night, Cassie."
"Good night," she said affectionately. She hoped his words wouldn't haunt her.
Cassie's fingers tapped the steering wheel impatiently as she slowly drove up the Penzance Point road. The last thing she wanted was to risk seeing Calder again, but here she was. Another one of Erin's messes.
Why did Erin want to leave Scott's house at this hour of the night, anyway? And why all the secrecy? When she'd called, she hadn't explained why she wanted Cassie to say she was needed for a problem at the lab. If Scott had turned nasty, she was going to give him a piece of her mind.
The house looked even more imposing at night. Cassie took a deep breath before ringing the bell. She hoped Scott or Erin would answer the door. Anyone but Calder. She stepped back into the shadows, away from the front light.
Luck wasn't with her. The door opened to reveal Calder's height, Calder's shoulders, Calder's dark hair, and all the things about Calder she hadn't been able to put out of her mind. Including the same look of surprise he wore that night in the water when he touched her.
He couldn't think she was there to see him, could he? The possibility was mortifying, that he might think she'd come crawling to him for more. "I'm here to pick up Erin," she announced crisply. "Is she ready?"
His lips tightened. "I don't know. I'll go see." He disappeared down the hallway and into the living room.
He hadn't even invited her in. She stepped inside anyway, refusing to be left on the doorstep like a beggar. Men's voices drifted toward her. Apparently they had company. Maybe that was why Erin wanted to leave.
Scott appeared by the living room. "Hi, Cassie. I'll tell Erin you're here. Come on in and have some wine or something."
So Scott didn't know Calder wanted nothing to do with her. Well, Scott had invited her and it would be rude to refuse. Besides, she was curious to see how Calder behaved around other people.
She realized her mistake as soon as she stepped into the living room. Two older men sat in the overstuffed armchairs. She recognized one of them from the evening news. So that was why Calder hadn't wanted her to come in. He hadn't wanted his father to meet her. He wouldn't want his family to know the kind of riff-raff he associated with.
Senator Westing set his brandy snifter on an end table. Rising to his feet with an old-fashioned courtesy, he looked questioningly at his son.
Calder had his stone face on. "One of Erin's friends." He turned and looked out the window.
So she didn't even have a name anymore. Cassie wouldn't let Calder see her mortification. She stepped forward with all the confidence she could muster and held out her hand to Calder's father. "Cassie Boulton," she said.
"I'm Joe Westing," he said in an elegant southern accent. As if she wouldn't know who he was.
"A pleasure, Senator." Polite lies. Under normal circumstances, she'd want nothing to do with him, not after he'd had a hand in cutting federal support for scientific research.
"Hiram Stettson," the other man said. He shook her hand as well.
Senator Westing said, "I take it you know Calder."
"We've met," she said. She wished she had never laid eyes on him. He was ignoring her so pointedly it must be obvious to the others.
"Aren't you going to offer the lady a drink, Calder?" The senator sounded disapproving, almost disparaging.
Calder turned to face them again. "Would you like a drink, Dr. Boulton?"
Oh, yes, he was denying they were anything but the most casual acquaintances. She was half-tempted to tell his father what his son did behind his back. "No, thanks. I need to get back to the lab. We've got a problem there. That's why I need Erin."
"Working at ten o'clock on a Friday night?" Senator Westing sounded dubious.
Cassie smiled tightly. And this was one of the men responsible for setting the budget for the National Science Foundation. "You don't know many researchers, I take it. Science doesn't keep nine-tofive hours."
"What sort of research do you do?"
"I'm a marine biologist."
"I see." The senator's tone suggested he didn't like what he saw. Hardly a surprise. Some of his beliefs put him distinctly at odds with the biology community.
Calder came forward into the light. "Do you need some help? I know your time is tight."
Was he really offering to help with her non-existent problem? He looked serious, but a few minutes earlier, he hadn't known her name.
Before she could say anything, his father cut in. "Calder, you've caused enough trouble without spending time in a biology lab. I don't need the media getting hold of that." This time the scorn was out in the open.
It was more than Cassie's barely contained temper could manage. "Oh, we couldn't have that," she said, her voice dripping sweetness. "People might start thinking he was smart enough to understand science. Or even that he has a mind of his own. Fortunately, Erin and I can manage on our own. But thank you for the offer, Calder." She might not like how his father talked to him, but it still stuck in her throat to thank him for anything.
The senator's scornful look was directed at her now. She didn't care. All she wanted was to get out of there as soon as possible.
Erin, with exquisite timing, chose that moment to appear in the hallway. "Are you ready, Cassie?"
Erin couldn't possibly imagine how ready she was to leave. "Sure." Cassie looked back at the men. "Sorry I couldn't stay for more of this lovely chat. I hope you enjoy your visit to the Cape."
The light on the answering machine was blinking when they arrived back at the cottage. Cassie paused to push the button. Calder's voice, sounding subdued, or as if he was trying to keep from being overheard, floated from it. "Cassie, I wanted to apologize for my father. I wish I could say he isn't usually like that, but it wouldn't be true. But I'm sorry he talked that way in front of you." There was a pause, as if he had considered saying more, and then a click.
Cassie stared at the machine in dismay. Just when she finally accepted that she meant nothing to Calder, he turned around and did something like this. What was she supposed to do? Maybe he was like his father, warmly polite one moment, nasty the next. She followed Erin into the kitchen.
Erin filled the dented teapot and placed it on the burner. "Thanks for rescuing me. I didn't feel comfortable staying with Scott's father there."
"Scott's father? You mean Calder's father." Cassie tossed her sweater over the straight-backed chair. The cottage felt particularly small and shabby after Penzance Point.
"The other one. Hiram."
He had barely registered with Cassie. "But his last name was different from Scott's."
Erin developed an intense interest in looking through their stash of herbal teas. "Scott's illegitimate. He has his mother's name."
Cassie pulled up a chair to the wobbly kitchen table. She'd always thought Scott came from the same sort of background as Calder. "Surely his father knows Scott sleeps with his girlfriends."
Erin peered inside one of the mugs and rinsed off a microscopic piece of dust. "Oh, he knows, all right. It was how he made me feel about it. Like I was a possession, along with t
he fancy house on the ocean and the sailboat, another sign of Scott's success. The pretty blonde in his bed. It was creepy."
"Eww. What did Scott do?"
"I don't know if he noticed. He doesn't know his father very well."
"How can he not know his father?"
Erin finally selected a box of tea. "He only met his father a couple of times when he was growing up. Hiram didn't acknowledge him until he was in college and becoming a credit to the family."
"Ouch."
"Really. Scott's never met his half-brothers and sister, though they know all about him. Daddy's proud of him but doesn't let him mix with the real family. When he gave Scott the money to buy Cambridge Biotech, he told him it was an early inheritance, because Scott won't be mentioned in his will." Erin poured the hot water into the mugs and handed one to Cassie.
"Because his mother was the other woman?"
"Worse. It's because his mother is a quarter AfricanAmerican, and his father is a Southern so-called gentleman. Tainted blood, and all that."
Cassie wrinkled her nose. "What does Scott think about all this?"
"He's never talked about it. I found this out from Calder. Their fathers are buddies. Calder knows his legitimate kids. I don't think he likes them."
"Why?" And why would Calder have told Erin any of this?
"I don't know. I asked him what they were like, and he said, 'Well, you won't see me spending the summer with one of them.'"
"How long is Scott's father staying?"
"He's leaving tomorrow, thank God." Yawning, Erin put her mug in the sink. "I'm going to bed. I can't keep your hours."
"Good night." Cassie remained at the table, her hands wrapped around her tea. Maybe Erin would have a little more time for her now. It felt good to talk to Erin, to really talk about something important, not just work. She'd hoped they would have lots of times like this over the summer, but that was before Scott. Cassie had probably told Calder more of her problems than she had told Erin. But she couldn't blame Erin for her choice. Erin had fun with Scott, and all Cassie had to offer her was more work.
When had she given up having a life of her own? There was a time Cassie had socialized more, joining other researchers for an evening out or a day trip to Boston. At Haverford she had friends she spent time with. But this summer was different. Maybe it was the tenure pressure.
She wished Calder were there, the quiet Calder who listened to her. He never expected her to be strong for him, and when she let her guard down and admitted something bothered her, it didn't make him uncomfortable. But that was only a small part of Calder Westing, and she could never survive an affair with the cold, silent man he was most of the time. Discouraged, she rested her head in her hands. It wasn't going to be easy to forget him.
Chapter 6
ERIN TRUDGED INTO THE lab at ten in the morning. Cassie, with one look at her friend's stricken expression, limited herself to a quiet hello.
"He's going to stop by on his way out of town to say good-bye." Erin didn't have to say who. Scott was leaving that day.
Cassie had been looking forward to this day almost as much as Erin had been dreading it. She was tired of worrying about whether she would run into Calder somewhere in town. The stress of it only made her turn even more into her work. Then, the previous night, as she lay in bed, she had horrified herself by bursting into tears when she realized she would never see him again. But it was better this way. Now it was over, and perhaps she could get on with her life.
She had planned to ask Erin to enter data today, but her friend was in no condition to concentrate on anything important. She'd have to do it herself. Casting about for a task where Erin could do no harm, Cassie suggested cleaning out the specimen tanks.
The physical effort seemed to calm Erin. When Scott finally arrived an hour later, she was able to greet him with a shaky smile.
Cassie didn't bother to get up from her desk. Scott wasn't there to see her. She turned back to the computer to give them some privacy. The data spreadsheet was almost done.
It was hard to ignore the whispered conversation in the background. Cassie wished they would leave and let her work. Maybe she should go down to the coffee shop for a few minutes. Scott would probably be gone by the time she returned.
She saved and closed the spreadsheet. Pushing her chair back, she caught sight of a figure in the doorway. Calder was watching her silently, as he had so often in the past. She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks. Why was he there? He had his own car. He wouldn't be riding with Scott.
She looked back at him, remembering all the conflicting sides of him she had seen. She tried to summon her righteous indignation from their last meeting, but it had fled, and she could only think of his dark eyes, still fixed on her.
Erin and Scott were in each other's arms off to the side, oblivious to everything around them. At least Cassie hoped they were oblivious. If Erin spotted the tension flowing between her and Calder, she'd never hear the end of it.
She wondered why Calder didn't come in. Had he decided not to set foot in her lab unless invited? Perhaps she should take him to the coffee shop. It might give her some sense of closure if they managed to have a normal conversation. She crossed the floor until she stood near him. "You're leaving today, too?"
"Tomorrow."
His curt response reminded her of his proud and remote side, the Calder Westing who could barely spare a word for anyone else. It broke the tension she felt inside, that sense of connection. She didn't let any sign slip that it disturbed her, even though it hurt. No lover of hers had ever deemed her unworthy to speak to before. "I hope you have a good trip."
There was a moment's silence before he responded. "Thanks."
Why had he come, if he wasn't willing to talk to her? "Are you hoping to avoid the traffic?"
"No." He shifted from one foot to the other. "I'm just… not ready."
Somehow she knew he wasn't talking about packing. "It's hard to leave here at the end of the summer."
"Yes." His eyes locked with hers again.
It wasn't just her. Cassie recognized the look in his eyes. She had seen it that night on the beach.
Calder took her by the elbow and propelled her into the hall. She opened her mouth to ask what he thought he was doing, but before any words could come out, he was kissing her hungrily, tangling his hands in her hair. And she was responding, as if there had been no quarrel between them, as if she had no choice once he touched her, as if she had to steal every possible second with him.
They were in full view of anyone who might step out into the hall or come up the stairs. The thought was enough to shock Cassie out of her state of confused desire. She stepped back, but not far enough for safety. His hands were still on her face, her cheeks, her neck, and she didn't want him to stop. The way he was looking at her made her entire body hunger for his touch.
"Not here." She glanced around nervously.
His hands dropped to his sides. "Come back to the house with me."
She wanted to say yes, to forget everything she had decided, to live in the moment and pretend this wasn't going to hurt later on. "I can't. Erin's going to need me."
He must have been able to hear the conflict in her voice. "Later, then."
How could she have a PhD and still feel as if she had forgotten how to speak English? "I… don't know."
There was a sound from inside the lab. Cassie looked in and saw Erin in tears, as she had expected. She glanced at Calder. "She's going to fall apart if he drags this out any longer."
Calder nodded silently and moved past her into the lab. "Scott, it's time to hit the road."
"What?" Scott said. "Oh, right." He kissed Erin lightly one more time. "I'll be back next weekend, and I'm only two hours away."
Erin tried to sniff back her tears. "Drive carefully."
"I'll email you as soon as I'm home." At the door Scott gave Cassie a friendly kiss on the cheek.
"Bye, Scott." Cassie was far more aware of the man
standing behind him.
With one last glance at Erin, Scott left the lab. Calder, following him, paused only a moment to touch the back of Cassie's hand.
Erin's hands were over her face. Cassie seized the distraction and put her arm around her.
"It's okay, sweetie. He'll be back in just a few days."
"It won't be the same. It won't ever be the same again."
Cassie hugged her. "You don't know that. Give him
a chance. He's not some young grad student getting his first whiff of freedom."
"He doesn't love me." Erin started to cry harder.