“When are you going to get that hand checked?” Scotlyn asked.
I shook my head. “I know there are a couple of broken bones in there, but they weren’t wrenched out of place too badly so I’m just going to let it heal on its own. Too expensive to fix. Doesn’t hurt too much anymore. I’m not an artist like Nix. A few slightly crooked bones aren’t a big deal when you’re working on the docks or fighting. By the way,” I looked over at Nix, “I think that wolverine will work out fine. As soon as I have some money, let’s do it.”
“I know you’re good for it. We can do it next week— if you want.”
I pulled in a long, sad breath. “Cassie is really something, isn’t she?”
Scotlyn reached over and placed her hand on my wrist. “She is.” She leaned over and kissed my cheek. “And so are you.” She leaned back against the chair. “In fact, we’re all pretty fucking amazing.”
Nix and I looked at her with open mouths. “Did you just say—” Nix leaned forward and lowered his voice to a whisper, “—the f-word?”
She blushed. “Just because I don’t use it as a verb, adjective and every other form of speech like you guys do, doesn’t mean I can’t say it once in awhile. And when I use it, it has much more impact because it’s rare. Your faces a few seconds ago proved my point perfectly.”
“O.K. now I’m going to have to take you home because I’m completely turned on,” Nix said.
I laughed. “Please, you’re turned on when she sneezes.”
“Uh, can we drop this topic?” Scotlyn pleaded.
“Sorry, Sweetie.” Nix stood. “I’ve got to get back to the shop. Some guy is coming in to get his girlfriend’s name tattooed on his arm.”
I smiled. “Cassie was sure right about that.” And then a depressing thought occurred to me. Nix seemed to know what I was thinking.
“It wasn’t because she was planning to leave you,” Nix said abruptly before the full idea could take shape in my head. “I don’t think she had ever planned to leave you. Cassie was always superstitious about stuff. She was always knocking three times on the counter, and she’d freak out if I tossed salt onto my fries without throwing some over my shoulder. She just thought it would be bad luck.”
I gulped back the rest of my beer. The can smacked the table as I plunked it down. “Turns out she was right, at least for me. Maybe we should do the tattoo this week. I can’t seem to turn off the flow of bad luck.”
“Just let me know,” Nix said.
I got up and walked them to the door. Scotlyn hugged me tightly for a long time. No one knew hardship and heartbreak more than her, and you could feel it in every hug, every touch. “And I expect you to come with us to the street fair on Saturday. So be ready.”
“Yeah? I don’t know. Maybe.”
Nix gave me a quick hug. “Take it easy on that hand.”
They stepped up onto the dock and I shut the door. A dense silence snaked around the cabin, and being alone brought back some of the darkness that had filled my head the last few days.
Outside the sun had made a couple of good attempts to break through, but it seemed the gloomy sky was here to stay and it fit my mood. The deck of the boat lifted up and down with the storm rattled tide. I walked out to the bow and leaned against the railing. The chill in the air was a nice change from the blistering heat of the last few weeks. The water beneath the bow was black and frothy. Small waves curled up over the dock and washed across the worn wood planks.
Piranha Pete’s curly little tail flicked in the air as the dog trotted along the dock patrolling for any unsuspecting ankles. A noise pulled my attention to the stern. A fat, gray seagull had landed with his catch, and the bird quickly sucked in the tiny fish before any other birds came to steal it.
Someone yelled and I turned back around. The dog was no longer on the dock, and Charlie had dropped to his knees. He was hanging over the edge of the pier reaching desperately toward the water. Pete’s thin paws paddled frantically trying to get hold of something solid. His little round head disappeared beneath the water and then surfaced again.
“Oh my God, Pete, no!” Charlie cried.
I yanked off my shirt and shoes. The water looked cold, dark and completely uninviting. Not wanting to land on the dog, I jumped in close to the boat. My head popped up above the surface. “Fuck that’s cold.” I reached for Pete, and his two front paws finally found something solid to grab hold of, my forearm. His claws dug deep into my skin. They were as sharp as a cat’s, and I held my breath against the pain. If I panicked it would only make his claws go deeper.
“Over here,” an anxious voice cried down to me from the dock. Cassie knelt down and reached for the dog.
Waves slapped my face and salt water stung my eyes as I lifted the terrified dog up to her. My broken hand ached as I reached over and pulled his claws out of my skin as if I was pulling out a series of thick, curved splinters.
Cassie’s face was pale and worried as she grabbed the dog and handed him to Charlie. Then she reached back down to me. “Give me your hand, Dray.”
The wild motion of the waves made it hard to tread water, and my broken hand proved useless. I reached for the edge of the dock with my good hand. Rivers of blood flowed from the series of holes left behind by Pete’s claws. Just as I took a deep breath to haul myself up with one arm, a powerful wave rolled out from under the dock. I lost my grip, and the water threw me violently up against the hull of the Lucy. My head shot backward and I felt the vibration in my skull. The world went hazy. I felt my body being sucked below the surface just before everything went black.
I was lying face down on the mat in the octagon, but I couldn’t get up. My limbs wouldn’t move. Then two hands grabbed me, but they weren’t my opponent’s.. The hands were soft and gentle, and they held me tightly and pulled me along. When my head broke the surface, the cold air startled me into consciousness. I coughed and spit out the burning salt water in my throat. Cassie struggled to get me to the dock, and I tried hard to shake off the dizziness. I’d had plenty of concussions, too many as the doctors had told me, but that thwack to the head coupled with the relentless icy tide had zapped me of my usual strength.
Cassie had jumped in to save me, but now she was the one struggling to stay above the surface. I pulled her small, shivering body against me. Her arms wrapped around my neck. Her chin trembled uncontrollably. Charlie had recuperated from the terror of seeing his little dog getting sucked under the waves. He was leaning down holding out an unsteady hand.
The wrap the nurse had given me was now sinking to the bottom of the marina. I reached up to the dock with my good hand. “Charlie, I’m worried we’ll pull you in. We can pull ourselves up. Cass, grab hold and I’ll push you up.”
She nodded weakly and reached up. Her white fingers clutched at the edge of the dock. I slid my hand down beneath her bottom and pushed her up until she was able to pull herself onto the dock. She was coughing and shivering wildly, but she turned around and leaned over to help me. She held out her hand. “Dray, reach for me.”
“I smacked my broken hand on the hull. I’ve only got one good hand, and I don’t want to pull you in again.” Water slapped the side of my face, and my ear filled with salt water. I was done being battered by the boats and the tide. I reached up and hauled myself onto the splintery surface of the dock with one arm.
It took me a few seconds to catch my breath. I pushed to sitting and pressed my hand against the back of my head. A painful lump was forming.
Charlie stood over the two of us with Pete in his arms. The dog was even smaller soaking wet, but he still managed to lift his lip and snarl down at me. Charlie gave him a little shake. “He just saved your life, you ungrateful, spoiled mutt.” Charlie looked down at me. “I don’t know how to thank you two.”
“I’m just glad we were around, Charlie. I think we’re going to head in and dry off.”
“Right, of course. Hurry inside.”
Chapter 9
Cassie
> Dray’s bare chest rose up and down with deep breaths. His hazel eyes darkened as he stared at me almost as if I’d just appeared from a puff of smoke. A puddle of saltwater grew beneath our feet. I still had my boots on, my favorite pair but now a pair I would have to toss.
The horror of the event that had just taken place caught up to me in one sharp spurt of emotion and I burst into tears. Cautiously, as if he thought I might run from him, Dray stepped toward me and wrapped his arms around me. It was the first time he’d held me in months, and my tears flowed faster. His skin was cold and clammy as I pressed my face against the hard muscles of his chest.
“I don’t get it, Cass. I thought you were on a plane to New York.”
I shook my head but kept my face pressed against him. The cold of the water soaked into my bones, and my legs and arms ached with it. “I’m supposed to be.” I wiped my tears with my thumb. My contacts were blurred by saltwater. I blinked a few times but it did little to clear them.
I lifted my head and peered up at him. Salt crystals began to form on the dark tips of his short spiky hair. I’d forgotten what it was like to be this close to him. He always wore that tough outer shell, but I knew better. I knew about the guy inside who longed to be cared about. I’d been in love with Dray since the first moment he’d walked into Freefall and that had not changed. That would never change, no matter what happened or where my future took me. “I wasn’t ready to leave yet. I moved my flight to next week.”
His arms loosened and he stepped away. “I guess it was good you came along when you did, or I’d be floating with the fish right now,” he said indifferently. I’d hurt him again. I’d been getting ridiculously good at it.
“I wasn’t ready to leave you,” I blurted. “Damn it, Dray, stop acting like such a cold bastard about everything. Do you think this is easy for me? I feel like I’m being pulled in opposite directions, and, eventually, I’m going to snap in the middle.”
His gaze dropped and his jaw flinched, a habit of his when he was upset. He shook his head and looked up at me. “I don’t see any pulling, Cassie. You’ve already made up your mind.”
I sucked my bottom lip in between my teeth, hoping it would somehow stop me from crying harder. “Yeah, you know what, Dray? You’re right.” The words burned my throat. “Don’t know what I was thinking.” Soaking wet and shaking, I turned to leave.
His arm went around my waist, and he pulled me back against him. “Shit, Cassie, I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. All I know is that you left and I hate that you left.” He turned me around and his strong arms wrapped tightly around me as his mouth came down hard over mine.
We moved with the desperation of two teenagers trying to hurry and finish before getting caught. My fingers, still numb with cold, fumbled with the fly on his pants, and he, just as clumsily, unbuttoned the front of my dress with his one functional hand. It had been months and the hunger between us, if it hadn’t been under such heartbreaking circumstances, was nearly comical.
He pushed up the wet dress and slip beneath using both hands but winced as the fingers on his left hand got caught in the fabric. “I’ve been thinking of this every day for the past six months, having you here, naked in my arms,” he said between breaths, “but in my fantasy, I was able to use both hands . . .damn it.”
I took hold of his wrist and lifted his hand. It looked red and raw and slightly twisted. I kissed it lightly, wishing I could absorb some of the pain he felt. It had always been like that with Dray. Even if he wasn’t in physical pain, I’d always wanted badly to absorb some of the hurt I knew he’d suffered.
The cool air on my damp, naked skin made me shiver. He pulled me into his arms again, and I felt instantly warmed. The lean line of muscles in his shoulders had me mesmerized as he led me into the bedroom. We fell into the bed and crawled beneath the tangled pile of sheet and blanket. My mind kept telling me this was a big mistake and that I’d just be opening myself up for more hurt, but I wanted Dray so badly there was no way to come to my senses.
The calloused fingers of his good hand trailed over my breast, and he lowered his mouth to my nipple. My hand wrapped around the back of his head and I pulled his mouth tighter against me. His tongue teased me as he stroked my naked skin. All of it, the intimacy, the familiar feel of his hands and mouth on me, made me ache with missing him.
He lifted his face to mine. As it always had, his lingering gaze sent a swirl of heat through my chest and around my heart. I pressed my hand against his face. He closed his eyes against the feel of my palm. “God, Cass, you feel so right in my hands.” He kissed me deep and long.
There was never any soft side to Dray, but he knew just how and where to touch me to make me nearly beg for him. It had never been like that with anyone else. He leaned me back against the pillows and his mouth moved tenderly down my neck and between my breasts to my stomach. I clutched the sheets as he moved down between my legs. His fingers took hold of my panties and he slid them down and off. He drew his tongue along my inner thigh in long hot strokes. He lifted his face and his eyes opened slowly. “I’ve missed the taste of you.”
My head spun and I was drunk with his touch. He lowered his mouth to the moist heat between my legs and his tongue found my most intimate spot. A small scream escaped me, and I arched and lowered my back, writhing against the pressure of his mouth. He reached over for a pillow and tucked it beneath my bottom lifting me higher and more open to his mouth. His fingers slid inside me as his tongue licked hungrily at my tender, hot flesh. I scrunched the sheet up tightly in my fingers and moved with the rhythm of his mouth and hand.
Dray knew everything about me, what I craved, what I needed. The boat seemed to rock back and forth wildly, or it was just my head, dizzy with the feel of his fingers inside of me. I lifted my hips, and he pushed his fingers in deeper. His mouth and tongue pressed against me, and I could not get enough of him.
“Dray!” I cried out, and his hand moved deeper and then shuddering waves of heat and pleasure, almost too intense to bear, pulsed though me. I collapsed, nearly sobbing from the intensity of it all.
He stood up from the bed. His eyes did not leave my face as he pushed his pants down and then reached into his nightstand for a condom. I’d always found him breathtaking, but watching him stand over me, his lean, muscular body naked and hard with need, did more than take my breath, it stole away a piece of my heart. And he was the only person who could ever make that heart whole again.
Dray straddled my thighs. I was sure he would be wild and nearly out of control, but, instead, he moved slowly and deliberately and hot moisture pulsed between my legs again. With his knees, he pushed open my legs, his pale gaze never leaving my face. His shoulder and arm muscles flexed as he lowered himself gently over me. He smiled down at me. “I’m trying to decide if this is real or if I’m lying on the bottom of the ocean right now.”
“Funny, I was thinking the same thing.” I reached up and brought his face down to mine. I kissed him softly at first and then with increasing intensity. He lowered his hips and I wrapped my legs around him as he slid inside me with tantalizing slowness. And then he rocked against me. I tightened my legs around him, wanting him to go deeper and faster. He stared down at me, his eye were glazed with a furious need to finish what he’d started.
I reached for him but he grabbed both my hands and held them down next to my head. He winced as the fingers on his broken hand curled around mine. His thrusts were hard, almost punishing as he rocked against me. Then a low groan rolled up from his chest, and he closed his eyes as he climaxed inside of me.
His chest lifted and fell with deep breaths as he lowered himself down over me. Dray pulled me into his arms and turned my body with his as he rolled onto his side.
I snuggled against his chest. His warmth and his familiar fragrance made me smile. “I forgot what I was missing.”
He squeezed me harder but didn’t say a word.
I peered up at him. “This is where you’re supposed to
say something back like ‘yeah, I missed this too’.”
His silence struck me like a cold hand. I sat up and stared down at him. As light as his hazel eyes were, he always managed an intense, deep gaze.
He lifted his hand in question. “What do you want me to say, Cass? I mean if you couldn’t tell how much I missed you by what just happened here, then I’m not sure what I can add to prove it.”
I swung my legs off the bed, not even completely sure why I was so angry or surprised. Dray rarely opened up about anything, and while I knew this about him, for some stupid, delusional reason I’d expected him to open up now. Maybe that’s what had been lacking all this time in our relationship. Maybe it was the reason I felt that my leaving had had much less impact on him than it had had on me.
“I don’t seem to be able to do anything right anymore when it comes to you, Cassie. Hell, I did a lot better when I wasn’t trying, before we became a couple.”
I walked over to his drawer and pulled out the longest t-shirt I could find. He sat naked on the bed and watched with that hard face he could put on to hide any emotions that might, God forbid, be exposed.
I threw the shirt on over my head and crossed my arms for warmth. My throat was so swollen with hurt, I was sure I wouldn’t be able to speak but an explosion of anger and pain pushed out the words. “I— I just wanted you to say stay. That’s all I fucking wanted from you, Dray.” My voice wavered but I pushed back the tears. “I just wanted you to ask, or maybe even beg a little bit. I just wanted you to say don’t go Cassie, don’t leave me.” I swallowed hard and crossed my arms tighter around me. “I just wanted you to surprise me, shock the hell out of me by telling me to stay with you.”