CHAPTER III.
Minds his studies--Informs his master of his mother's marriage, and usage of him--Hears of her death--Makes his master his guardian--Goes with him to take possession of his estate--Is informed all is given to his father-in-law--Moral reflections on his condition, and on his father's crimes.
I was now near nineteen years of age; and though I had so much more inmy head than my school-learning, I know not how it happened, but eversince the commencement of my amour with Patty, having somebody todisburden my mind to, and to participate in my concerns, I had beenmuch easier, and had kept true tally with my book, with more than usualdelight; and being arrived to an age to comprehend what I heard andread, I could, from the general idea I had of things, form a prettyregular piece of Latin, without being able to repeat the very rules itwas done by; so that I had the acknowledgment of my master for the bestcapacity he ever had under his tuition: this, he not sparing frequentlyto mention it before me, was the acutest spur he could have applied tomy industry; and now, having his good will, I began to disuse set hoursof exercise, but at my conveniency applied myself to my studies as Ibest pleased, being always sure to perform as much, or more, than heever enjoined me; till I grew exceedingly in his confidence, and byreason of my age (though I was but small, yet manly) I became rather hiscompanion upon parties than his direct pupil.
It was upon one of these parties I took the opportunity to declare thedissatisfaction I had at my mother's second marriage. "Sir," says I,"surely I was of age to have known it first, especially considering theaffection my mother had always shown to me, and my never once havingdone the least thing to disoblige her; but, sir," said I, "somethingelse, I fear, is intended by my mother's silence to me; for I have neverreceived above three letters from her since I came here, which is now,you know, three years, and those were within the first three months.I then showed him the fore-mentioned letter I received from my newfather-in-law, and assured him that gave me the first hint of thissecond marriage."
I found, by the attention my master gave to my relation, he seemed tosuspect this marriage would prove detrimental to me; but not on thesudden knowing what to say to it, he told me he would consider of it;and, by all means, advised me to write a very obliging letter to my newfather, with my humble request that he would please to order me home thenext recess of our learning. I did so under my master's dictation; andnot long after received an answer to the following effect:--
"Son Peter,--Your mother has been dead a good while; and as to yourrequest, it will be only expensive, and of little use; for a person whomust live by his studies can't apply to them too closely."
This letter, if I had a little hope left, quite subdued my fortitude,and well-nigh reduced me to clay. However, with tears in my eyes, Ishowed it to my master, who, good man! wishing me well, "Peter," sayshe, "what can this mean? here is some mystery concealed in it; hereis some ill design on foot!" Then taking the letter into his hand, "Aperson who must live by his studies," says he; "here is more meant thanwe can think for. Why, have not you a pretty estate to live upon, whenit comes to your hands? Peter," says he, "I would advise you to go toyour father and inquire how your affairs are left; but I am afraidto let you go alone, and will, when my students depart at Christmas,accompany you myself with all my heart; for you must know I have advisedon your affair already, and find you are of age to choose yourself aguardian, who may be any relation or friend you can confide in; and maysee you have justice done you." I immediately thanked him for the hint,and begged him to accept of the trust, as my only friend, having veryfew, if any, near relations: this he with great readiness complied with,and was admitted accordingly.
So soon as our scholars were gone home, my master lending me a horse,we set out together to possess ourselves of all my father's real estate,and such part of the personal as he had been advised would belong tome. Well, we arrived at the old house, but were not received with suchextraordinary tokens of friendship as would give the least room tosuppose we were welcome. For my part, all I said, or could say, was thatI was very sorry for my mother's death. My father replied so was he.Here we paused, and might have sat silent till this time for me, if mymaster, a grave man, who had seen the world, and was unwilling any partof our time there, which we guessed would be short, should be lost, hadnot broke silence. "Mr. G." says he, "I see the loss of Master Wilkins'smother puts him under some confusion; so that you will excuse me, as hispreceptor and friend, in making some inquiry how his affairs stand, andhow his effects are disposed, as I don't doubt you have taken care toschedule everything that will be coming to him; and though he is notyet of the necessary age for taking upon himself the management of hisestate, he is nevertheless of capacity to understand the nature andquantum of it, and to show his approbation of the disposition of it,as if he was a year or two older." During this discourse, Mr. G. turnedpale, then reddened, was going to interrupt, then checked himself; buthowever kept silence till my master had done; when, with a sneer, hereplied, "Sir, I must own myself a great stranger to your discourse; norcan I, for my life, imagine what your harangue tends to; but sure I am,I know of no estate, real or personal, or anything else belonging toyoung Mr. Wilkins, to make a schedule of, as you call it: but this Iknow, his mother had an estate in land, near two hundred a year, andalso a good sum of money when I married her; but the estate she settledon me before her marriage, to dispose of after her decease as I saw fit;and her money and goods are all come to my sole use, as her husband." Iwas just ready to drop while Mr. G. gave this relation, and was not ableto reply a word; but my master, though sufficiently shocked at what hehad heard, replied, "Sir, I am informed the estate, and also the moneyyou mention, was Mr. Wilkins's father's at his death; and I am surprisedto think any one should have a better title to them than my pupil, hisonly child."--"Sir," says Mr. G., "you are deceived; and though what yousay seems plausible enough, and is in some part true, as that the lateMr. Wilkins had such estate, and some hundreds--I may say thousands--athis death; yet you seem ignorant that he made a deed, just beforeentering into the fatal rebellion, by which he gave my late wife boththe estate, money, and everything else he had, absolutely, without anyconditions whatsoever; all which, on his unhappy execution, she enjoyed,and now of right, as I told you before, belongs to me. However, asI have no child, if Peter behaves well under your direction, I havethoughts of paying another year's board for him, and then he must shiftfor himself."--"Oh!" cried I, "for the mercy of some savage beast todevour me! Is this what I have been cockered up for? Why was I notplaced out to some laborious craft, where I might have drudged for breadin my proper station? But I fear it is too late to inquire into what ispast, and must submit."
My master, good man! was thunderstruck at what he had heard; and findingour business done there, we took our leaves; after Mr. G. had againrepeated, that if I behaved well, my preceptor should keep me anotheryear, which was all I must expect from him; and at my departure he gaveme a crown-piece, which I then durst not refuse, for fear of offendingmy master.
We made the best of our way home again to my tutor's, where I stayed buta week to consider what I should do for myself. In this time he did allhe could to comfort me; telling me if I would stay with him and becomehis usher, he would complete my learning for nothing, and allow me asalary for my trouble. But my heart was too lofty to think of becomingan usher within so little way from mine own estate in other hands.However, since I had not a penny of money to endeavour at recovering myright with, I told my master I would consider of his proposal.
During my stay with him he used all methods to make me as easy aspossible; and frequently moralised with so much effect, that I wasalmost convinced I ought to submit and be content. Amongst the restof his discourse, he endeavoured to show me (one day after I had beenloudly condemning my cruel fortune, and saying I was born to be unhappy)that I was mistaken if I thought or imagined it was chance or accidentthat had been against me when I complained of fortune. "For," says he,"Peter, there is nothing done bel
ow but is at least foreknown, if notdecreed, above; and our business in life is to believe so: not that Iwould have such belief make us careless, and think it to no purpose tostrive, as some do; who, being persuaded that our actions are not in ourown choice, but that, being pressed by an irresistible decree, weare forced to act this or that, fancy we must be necessarily happy ormiserable hereafter; or, as others, who, for fear of falling upon thatshocking principle, would even deprive the Almighty of foreknowledge,lest it should consequentially amount to a decree: for, say they, whatis foreknown, will and must be. But I would have you act so as that, leteither of these tenets be true, you may still be sure of making yourselfeasy and happy; and for that purpose let me recommend to you a uniformlife of justice and piety; always choosing the good rather than the badside of every action: for this, say they what they will to the contrary,is not above the power of a reasonable being to practise: and doing so,you may without scruple say,--If there is foreknowledge of my actions,or they are decreed, I then am one who is foreknown or decreed to behappy. And this, without farther speculation, you will find the onlymeans always to keep you so; for all men, of all denominations, fullyallow this happy effect to follow good actions. Again, Peter, a personacting in a vicious course, with such an opinion in his head as above,must surely be very miserable, as his very actions themselves mustpronounce the decree against him: whilst, therefore, we have not heardthe decree read, you see we may easily give sentence whether it be forgood or evil to us, by the tenor and course of our own actions.
"You are not now to learn, Peter, that the crimes of the father areoften punished in the children, often in the father himself, sometimesin both, and not seldom in neither, in this life; and though, at first,one should think the future punishment annexed to bad actions wassufficient, still it is necessary some should suffer here also for anexample to others; we being much more affected with what the eye sees,than what the heart only meditates upon.
"Now, to bring it to our own case; your father, Peter, rose against thelawful magistrate, to deprive him (it matters not that he was a bad one)of his lawful power. Your father's policy was such, and his design sowell laid, as he thought, that upon any ill success to himself, he hadsecured his estate to go in the way of all others he could wish to haveit, and sits down very well contented that, happen what would, he shouldbite the Government in preventing the forfeiture. But lo! his policyis as a wall of sand blown down with a puff! for it is to you it ought,even himself being umpire, to have come, as no one would think he wouldprize any before you, his own child. Now, could he look from the grave,and know what passes here, and see Mr. G. in possession of all hefancied he had secured for you, what a weak and short-sighted creaturewould he find himself! If it be said he did not know he should have achild, then herein appears God's policy beyond man's; for He knew it,and has so ordered that that child should be disinherited; for, by theway, Peter, take this for a maxim, wherever the first principle of anaction is ill, no good consequence can possibly ever be an attendant onit. Could he, as I said before, but look up and see you, his only child,undone by the very instrument he designed for your security, howpungent would be his anxiety! I say, Peter, though there is somethingso unaccountable to human wisdom in such events of things, yet there issomething therein so reasonable and just withal, that by a prying eye,the Supreme Hand may very visibly be seen in them. Now, this beingplainly the case before us, and herein the glory of the Almightyexalted, rest content under it, and let not this disappointment,befallen you for your father's faults, be attended with others sent downfor your own; but remember this, the Hand that depresses a man is noless able to exalt and establish him."