With tears stinging my eyes, I looked up. Logan reached out and took it from my hands, his eyes never straying from mine.
“The first time I ever laid eyes on you, you were jogging with your friend, Hilary,” he murmured. I lowered my gaze back to the tiny shoe and smiled.
“The first time I ever had the pleasure of hearing your voice,” he titled his head in thought, “you ended up tripping and needed bandaged.”
His finger brushed over the tiny silver Band-Aid. Tears began pooling in my eyes. His gift was unlike anything I ever expected. I wasn’t sure what to think or even feel in that moment.
“The first time I knew you were more than a pretty face,” he smiled, his thumb caressing my cheek for the briefest moment, “you brought Oliver and me muffins.” His voice cracked and I bit my bottom lip as he touched upon the tiny muffin.
The burn of a stray tear as it slipped down my cheek pulled my gaze to my lap. Quickly, I wiped it away.
Next, he held up the miniature swimming pool in his hand and I laughed, looking up at him.
“This one speaks for itself, sweetheart.” His smile widened into a broad grin. “It was a night I’ll never forget…and one I wouldn’t mind experiencing again next summer.”
My head shot down, heat creeping up my cheeks. I shook my head, chuckling.
“This,” he held up a music note, “is for the first time we danced.” He lowered the bracelet and looked me in the eyes. “I wanted you that night, Cassandra. More than I’ve ever wanted any woman. But I’m thankful every day that you wouldn’t let me have my way.” He sighed. “We wouldn’t be here today if I had slept with you then.”
He looked back down, frowning. “I can’t image you not being here today.”
My heart swelled helping me find my voice.
“The pumpkin patch,” I said, running my fingers over the shiny jack-o-lantern.
“Yes, the first day I realized I wanted nothing more than to protect you. From your ex, from anyone that could hurt you.”
I smiled, his words soothing every part of my soul.
“The carnival.” I smiled, remembering our day together. The charm was of a Ferris wheel and the only one that was gold.
Logan took my hand and clasped the bracelet around my wrist. He looked up at me, my hand still in his.
“The first day I knew Oliver was falling in love with you.”
I smiled, tilting my head over to Oliver. His Lego set nearly finished. Logan’s fingers gently clasped my chin, pulling me slowly back to face him.
“I was scared, Cassandra. Terrified.” He sighed, his expression pained. “The following few days after the carnival, I brought home women trying to…push it away.” His hand fell, releasing my chin.
My face scrunched in confusion. “Push what away? Me caring for your son?”
“No.” He gently shook his head. “My feelings for you.”
I closed my eyes, and inhaled a deep breath, willing the tears at bay. “Logan—”
“I get it, I do. I’m not good for you. But just know, please know…” a slow smile brightened his face, “you’re important in my life, Cassandra. You’re my best friend.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Vulnerable
Christmas in the West home was one I would never forget as long as I lived. Oliver and Logan were a family so in love with life and each other it left my soul utterly sated when I went home that night. Against all my reservations and reasoning, I was falling in love with them more and more each day. But now as the holiday season came to an end, I couldn’t deny my feelings any longer.
I wanted Logan West. No longer was it a passionate seduction my body craved. There was an insatiable need growing inside me that only one man could fulfill. It consumed me in ways I never dreamed possible. He was all I could think of, dream about. He was it, everything I had ever wanted.
“Come on, since when do you take this long?” Hilary complained.
Pulling myself from my daydream of telling Logan I wanted to try us, I took one last look at my reflection in the mirror. I felt like a new woman. I gave my hair one more tousle, smiling at the glitter Hilary ran through it minutes earlier.
With a confident strut, I stepped into the living room.
“Hot damn, girl!” Hilary smiled. She was sitting on the armchair in my living room slipping on black glittery heels. They added that extra sparkle to her red low-cut body hugging mini dress.
“You’re sure it’s not too much?” My nerves peeking through. I felt beautiful and sexy but completely out of my comfort level.
“It’s freaking gorgeous!” Her smile grew wider. “You look stunning and there is no way Logan won’t be drooling all over himself when he sees you in that.” She laughed. “Looks like the tables have turned, huh.”
I nodded with a smile, slinking down to the couch across from her and slipping into my nude heels. “So, you and Caleb are good?”
“I have never been happier. He’s amazing. I mean, I always knew that, but he’s so kind and loving and the most unbelievable kisser.” She slumped back in the chair, swooning like a lovesick puppy.
“Yeah, I got it. You’re falling in love.”
She sat up, her eyebrows lowered. “No! I mean no…I don’t…oh my God.”
I chuckled softly. “Why are you freaked about that? It’s what you always dreamed about.”
Hilary looked up at me, gnawing on her bottom lip. “I just…” She sighed. “I’m not falling in love with Caleb.”
“Um…you sure about that?” I chuckled, bemused.
“Cassandra, I’m already in love with him.” Her words came out slow as if she was realizing it while speaking.
“Oh.”
“I know, right. We haven’t even slept together.”
My mouth fell open, staring at her. Did I hear her correctly? Hilary was no virgin nor was she a slut, but I can’t think of a guy she dated more than a few times that she didn’t sleep with.
“Stop looking at me like that!” She demanded. She stood up glaring at me and began pacing back and forth across the room.
I relaxed, smiling. “I’m happy for you. I always knew you and Caleb would end up together.”
She stopped abruptly and looked over at me with disbelief. Slowly a broad grin covered her lips. “Liar!”
I laughed. “Yeah, I honestly never thought you’d talk to him.”
Entering Haven just past ten that night I felt like I was on fire. Every nerve ending in my body was alit and buzzing around neurotically.
I knew Logan would be there. We’d been texting daily since Christmas, more so than ever before. Little jokes we’d heard or something interesting we saw that just needed to be shared between us. Every time my phone sang the tune of a little chirping bird, I’d smile and rush over to check it. That would be an issue once school resumed after winter break.
Logan sent a text earlier that day, letting me know he’d be at Haven after nine and looked forward to seeing me. He also explained Oliver was spending the night with his grandmother. It was the perfect time to come clean about how I felt.
“Hey, baby. Where you been?” Caleb appeared and pulled Hilary into his arms. After a long and inappropriate public kiss—where I tried to look anywhere but at them—Caleb looked over at me, smiling. “Wow, look at you all sexed up. Did Hilary pick that dress out?”
I flushed. “Surprisingly, no. All me. I was feeling particularly brave.” The black dress was snug against my body with a deep V-cut down the breast adorned in crystals. It revealed more cleavage than I’d ever shown in my life. The skirt blossomed out and fell mid-thigh. It screamed, fun, flirty and above all sexy.
Caleb nodded, squeezing Hilary in tighter and placing a quick peck on her forehead. They were adorable. “Good for you, Cassie. Logan’s at the bar by the way.”
“Oh, I’ll catch up with him later.” I shrugged, playing it cool.
Hilary and Caleb both chuckled, giving each other a knowing look.
“Have fun
tonight, but don’t even think about stepping outside without Logan or me with you. Got it?” Caleb said, seriously. I saluted, amused at his tone. “That means you, too.” He glanced at Hilary.
I smiled, enjoying his big brother protectiveness.
“I’m only allowed in the dark with Logan, got it.” She smirked.
He growled, pulling her to his chest. She giggled, looking up at him. “You’re a little smart ass tonight.” He kissed her, abruptly ending her laughter. “I’m not as worried about you and Logan in the dark anymore. Seems he’s got his eyes on this one, and this one only.” He winked at me.
With a fading “have fun!” from Hilary, Caleb pulled her through the swarm of party goers, leaving me standing there over analyzing my next move.
Go straight to the bar and find Logan or play it cool a little longer? Honestly, all I wanted was him, holding me on the dance floor as soon as possible.
The thought alone got me moving, weaving through the crowd and toward the bar. After scanning the entire length of it and coming short of Logan, I frowned. Chewing on my bottom lip, I debated sending him a text when a shiver shot up my spine, goose bumps flaring across my skin.
I closed my eyes, savoring the warmth of his breath along my neck.
“Happy New Year, sweetheart.”
I turned, smiling and wrapped my arms around his neck for a quick hug. Something I had never done before, but it was the most natural reaction tonight. His arms pulled me in closer for a brief second and I could have sworn I heard him inhaling a deep breath when his face hit my waves of hair.
I pulled back, hands still on his shoulders, happy and all smiles. “Happy New Year.”
His gaze looked me up and down appreciatively. “Oh, sweetheart. Are you trying to kill me tonight?”
I giggled softly, and leaned in. “You like?”
His tongue darted out, licking his lips. “I adore.”
I flushed. His gaze held mine, and the intensity of his stare sent flutters straight through me. He made me feel brave and beautiful. I reached out and took his hand.
“Dance with me,” I murmured.
Logan tightened his hand around mine and led us to the dance floor. Dozens of other moving and grinding bodies were there as Beyonce sang out “All the Single Ladies” playing from the DJ booth.
I laughed, dipping my head back and letting the fast tempo lead my feet. My arms snaked around Logan’s neck. I moved my hips slowly back and forth, his hands gripping them tightly, holding me close.
We danced song after song, all loud dance beats that caused a sheen of sweat across my body from the hot colorful lights flickering above us. Twirling in his outstretched hand, he grinned and pulled me into him, my back smacking against his chest.
Logan’s breath was intoxicating, ticking my ear as I ground my hips against his. I closed my eyes, losing myself in the moment, my hands up above my head, reaching back around his neck. His arms snaked up from my hips, fingers caressing my navel and making their way up between my breasts to my jaw. He turned me around, staring me in the eyes.
I knew what he was asking and there was no need, I wanted it just as badly if not more than he did. My hands ran down to his forearms, all muscles through his thin white button-up, and pulled him into me, crashing my mouth to his.
With a heavy sigh, he pulled me flush against him, his fingers digging into my hair. My tongue ran across his bottom lip and a growl escaped his throat, his lips opening. I took full advantage and thrust my tongue inside. My hands roaming over every inch of his body I could touch. I’d been starving for him and I was now ready to quench my appetite.
After not nearly enough time acquainting my lips with his, he pulled back. His long fingers caressed my cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned into it.
“Ahh, Cassandra. Tell me you want me as much as I want you.”
Opening my eyes, I smiled, answering him with a wider grin. He returned an eager smile, gripping me tightly against him and closing the distance between us once again. This time his desire for me was stronger. His hand slid down my back, blazing a trial in its wake, and gripped my ass. I shuddered, kissing him harder. His lips kissed down to my jaw and up to my ear. “Let’s—” he began.
“Ten, nine…
We both pulled back, panting, instantly reminded we were not alone. He leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose, smiling and joined in with the rest of the room.
“Four, three,” he mouthed, staring at me with an energized grin. His eyes bright and youthful, hair tousled from my passion for him. “…two, one!”
The room roared with a collective Happy New Year and excited yelling, but it fell silent in the background as Logan brought me back into his arms and placed a soft, tender kiss upon my lips. It was unlike any kiss I’d ever experienced before, and the complete opposite of the ones we’d just shared.
He gently pushed me back, grinning, and twirled me in his arms. We danced through a couple more songs. Kissing and touching, enjoying the new freedom to explore each other. It was past one in the morning when I kissed up his scruffy, five-o’clock-shadowed cheek and tugged with my teeth on his ear lobe earning me a pleased growl and tighter squeeze on my backside.
“Take me home,” I whispered seductively low.
Instantly, I was being pulled through the crowd toward the door, giggling.
“Wait, I should tell Hilary I’m leaving.” I insisted.
“Text her,” he replied quickly, grabbing my coat from the closet near the entrance.
I giggled louder. “Caleb will worry. It will only take a second.” He held up my coat, and I slipped my arms inside before he took me in his arms. With a fierce unforgettable kiss on my lips, he nodded.
“I’ll get my car and meet you out front.” He placed another kiss on my lips unable to get enough. Just like me. “Be quick, sweetheart.”
I turned and giggled when the sting of his hand swatted my ass. With a seductive smirk over my shoulder at him, I squeezed back through the mass of people all wanting the same thing as us, to make their escape into the New Year with their lovers.
Finding Hilary and Caleb was harder than expected. They weren’t at the bar and I was eager to get back to Logan. Filling with butterflies just thinking about him, I turned to look back at the door and froze.
He remained at the door—talking to someone. A woman—with her hands placed on his forearms. Instantly my stomach dropped. My feet turned me around and moved me back toward him but I was all the way across the room. The swarm of laughing drunks stood in my way.
My gaze never strayed from Logan and when he stepped back, I took in the sight of the woman. I recognized her from his painting. Oliver’s mother. Logan’s ex-fiancée.
My blood ran cold. She was back. What did this mean? Before I knew it, I was directly behind him.
“Stay the hell away from me and Oliver, do you understand me, Natasha?” he hissed, his hands balled into tight fists at his side. I stopped, suddenly aware of how this was affecting him. I only wanted to pull him away from her and hug him in my arms.
“I know you, Logan, better than anyone.” Natasha smiled with a cold look in her eyes. “You’ll always love me, and in time we’ll be a family again.”
With that, she placed a quick kiss on his cheek, which he instantly drew back from, and turned on her heel, strolling back through the door, into the night.
His hand wiped at the spot her lips touched, anger rolling off him in painful waves.
“Logan.” I placed my hand on his shoulder.
He flinched, then turned back staring at me. The soft carefree azure eyes from earlier were now dark and clouded.
“I can drive,” I said softly. I reached for his keys dangling in his hand. He was too upset to drive, his body vibrated with rage.
His hand ripped back out of my reach and his eyes narrowed at me. “I can drive!” he hissed.
His tone hurt, but I shook it off. “Fine, I brought my own car anyway. We’ll take that. I’m not letting you drive
like this.”
“Like what?” He was definitely pissed and ready to unload on the first person to give him a reason. I didn’t have anything to drink tonight since I drove, and I knew Logan had a few, so it made sense for me to drive us anyway.
“Logan, please.” I sighed.
“I’ll drive, damn it,” he snapped and grabbed my hand pulling me outside with him.
I followed behind him gathering my composure. When we stepped on the sidewalk, I ripped my hand from his not wanting to go anywhere with him until he calmed down.
He sighed, running his hands through his short wavy hair. “Damn it!” His voice rang out.
“Just let me drive you,” I pleaded. I placed my hands on his cheeks, wanting him to forget all about Natasha and what it meant that she was in town.
“Kiss me,” he murmured and I obeyed with a smile. The instant my lips touched his, he held the sides of my head, and kissed me deeper, hands roaming wildly over my dress. He held me tight pushing me backward against the side of the building. Lost in my desire to hold him close he whisked me around the corner so we were in the alley, all alone, never once breaking the kiss.
I held him close to me, my lips attempting to wash away the last five minutes. His hand fisted in my hair and the other moved from my ass and lifted my dress around my waist. The cold brick building stung my backside, his body pressing me roughly against it.
Logan’s lips traveled from mine, down my jaw, to my neck, nipping and licking leaving behind a blazing trail in its wake. I dipped my head back, resting it on the bitter wall. He tugged me up and pulled my legs around his waist and I lost myself in the moment.
After what felt like eternity and not long enough he released me. His hands disappeared and I lowered myself to the ground gauging the expression on his face. He was tugging his wallet from his coat pocket, and pulled out a condom.
I recoiled feeling suddenly cheap.
“Logan, I—” I adjusted my dress back down, covering myself. He watched me, bemused.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, breathing heavy. He was kissing me again, pulling me back under his spell until I heard the buckle of his belt opening.