Laughter from the parking lot filled the cool air and I was shot fully from my Logan-fueled haze. I tensed, moving away from the wall, out of his reach, finding my breath.
“Let me drive you home. You should get some sleep,” I said, swallowing.
I frowned when a deep laugh rumbled from his chest.
“Sleep? You think I want to go to sleep!” He continued laughing then took my hand, running his fingers over my knuckles. “You want this as much as I do, Cassandra. No more games. Admit it and give me what I want.”
I froze, his eyes filled with nothing but lust. “And what is it you want?” I asked hesitantly. I knew what I wanted from him. I wanted everything and someday even sex in the back alley would be fun and exciting, but not our first time together.
“You already know what I want, sweetheart.” He grinned wickedly, placing a kiss on my neck, hands back in my hair. His tongue ran up to my ear. “I want to fuck you. Here and now. I’m tired of waiting.”
I shoved him away, tears stinging my eyes.
“So that’s it?” I asked, my chin jutted out to remain strong, yet quivering from the pain of his words. It was my worst fear. The one reason I had kept myself guarded from him. But I wanted to believe what we shared was more than that. I looked down at the charm bracelet adorning my wrist not wanting to believe he didn’t feel something more.
“Yes, you’ve known this, Cassandra. Don’t play coy. It’s who I am.” He stepped back watching me. “I’ve never wanted to fuck anyone more.”
His words ripped the air from my lungs. I shook my head not wanting to believe him. A tear slipped down my cheek.
“You’re just hurt because of Natasha. But I’m not going to let you push me away.” I moved to step forward but his sharp expression stopped me. I looked down, fingers brushing over the gold Ferris wheel charm. “I care about you. Please…let me drive you home. We can talk in the morning. You’re just upset.”
“Don’t kid yourself.” He looked straight through me. “I’ll never want anything more from you than your body. So either give me what I want—” He threw the condom at me and I watched it fall to my feet. “Or leave me the hell alone.”
I couldn’t hold back the gates any longer. Tears spilled from my eyes. “Go to hell!” I ripped the bracelet from my wrist, wincing at the sting as it broke off and threw it at his chest. With my hand covering my mouth, I turned and ran to my car.
A loud sob escaped my throat and the tears broke through harder than ever. My feet pushed me to my car, my pulse racing, and my heart pounding through my ears.
I was such a fool, always wanting to believe the best in people. First Mark and now Logan. I was never enough.
Slamming the driver’s door shut, I tried unsuccessfully to control the frenzied sobs and even my breathing.
With multiple deep breaths, none seemed to ease the pain slicing through me. Why did he have to do this to me? My head throbbed trying to figure out if any of it was real over the past few months. Was it all some sick game to get me in bed? City guy bored in the country. I was going to give him my heart, hand it over so freely and all he wanted was—no, I banged my hands on the steering wheel. I needed to calm down or I’d never make it home.
Sniffing loudly and wiping away my tears, I turned on the engine and looked back once more at the alley where I’d left him.
There, standing in the shadows staring at me with hooded eyes, was Logan.
Refusing to let him see me break down into a sobbing mess anymore tonight, I rolled back my shoulders and jutted out my chin as I stomped my foot down on the gas.
Pulling onto the main street, I drove through town, passing two green lights before stopping at a red one about a half mile from Haven. My labored breathing finally began to calm. Glancing up in my rearview mirror, I gasped. Long black streaks of mascara marred my swollen red eyes. Using the pads of my thumbs, I tried to wipe away the evidence of my hurt but it was no use. It only looked worse. A loud honk sounded from behind me and I looked up to see the red light had turned green.
I lifted my foot and placed it slowly down on the accelerator. The car made it half way into the intersection when a bright-white light blinded me from the side. I turned my head just as a thunderous metal on metal, grinding together took over the air. My body thrust forward, the seatbelt forgotten in the rush to flee Logan. I gripped the steering wheel for dear life, my hair flailing around, blinding me as the car smacked down and then flipped up again as I lost my grip. A sharp stab slicing through my sides and down my legs followed the crunching of glass.
I hit something hard, landing on my back, warmth filling my head and in an instant, everything stopped except for the deafening horn filling the night.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Consequences
“Call 911!”
“Don’t move her!”
“Oh God, is she alive?” Voices buzzed around me.
I whimpered. My throat parched, lips dry. I couldn’t breathe, something heavy pressed against my chest. My ears rang. Muffled voices around me grew clearer.
“She’s trapped.” A man’s voice rang out.
“Help get it off her!”
“No, we could make it worse.”
I couldn’t see anything or anyone but I knew they were there. It still did little to help calm the panic washing over me. I forced my eyes to open, flickering at the shining ray of light hitting my face. I wasn’t sure what it was, a flashlight perhaps?
I winced unsure what was happening.
“Can you hear us?” A woman asked, her voice cracking.
I felt something soft squeeze my hand but my head betrayed my demand to move. I could only look straight up into the night sky, star filling the darkness.
“It’s going to be okay. Help is on the way,” the voice said, softly.
I opened my mouth, “I…I…” With all my strength, there was nothing but a gurgling sounded from me.
It hurt. Everywhere. My head was heavy and damp and I could feel the strands of hair matted against my cheeks. My body seemed to have disappeared. I tried to move my hands, my legs, but there was nothing. Panic began to overwhelm me further, but the hand folded around mine, gave it another tender squeeze and I knew that even without seeing it my hands were there.
It was the most terrifying feeling I had ever endured, and a thought I’d never dreamed I’d have. To be thankful to have your limbs still attached was heartbreaking. Warm liquid pooled in my eyes and spilled down my cheeks. I was left waiting there as the gasps and sobs of onlookers filled my ears. I focused on the positive, which was I was not alone, finding my strength anywhere I could, as the dull pain radiated through my chest.
The call of sirens grew closer while the heaviness on my chest deepened and the darkness pulled me away.
“Cassandra!”
I struggled to open my eyes. To keep them open as they fluttered, heat stinging them. Something was in my eyes and the thought caused a terrifying shudder to rip through me. I raised my hand to wipe whatever it was away, it was hopeless. My hand was there, I knew it was, I could slowly feel the tingly in my fingers but the limb was too heavy to lift.
“Try to stay still, miss.” A man’s soothing voice relieved some of my torment. I closed my eyes, praying the pain would end soon.
Hands were on me, tugging something around my chest. Something stiff was wrapped around my neck. Fear bubbled up inside me, I wanted up; away from what was happening to my body.
“Cassandra!”
That voice from seconds earlier was back. Logan. I thought it had been a dream. But it was Logan, he was there. I pushed up to go to him, but I couldn’t move, instead a sharp pain tore through my back. My mouth fell open, and a pathetic ghost of a scream poured out.
“Cassandra!” Logan’s voice was a deep growl. Louder than before. I focused on it, willing it to come closer
“Damn it! Let me through!”
“Sir, you need to stand back! Sir! Sir!”
A man yelle
d behind me, but all I wanted was Logan. His touch, his words, his everything. Nothing else mattered.
“Get the fuck out of my way!”
Someone dropped beside me on the pavement. I struggled to look through the corner of my eye, but my vision was distorted. There was nothing to see other than the outline of a dark figure hovering over me.
“Sweetheart…”
I felt his familiar cool fingers on my cheek, tender and soft, barely grazing my skin. I closed my eyes, peaceful. He would make this better. Make the pain go away.
“What have I done—” He gasped and suddenly all I could feel and smell was Logan. His hand was in mine, squeezing it, and trembling. Then as if he could read my mind, I felt the soft touch of what I dreamed were his lips on my forehead.
“Sir, we need to get her to the hospital.” Someone said, and I used every ounce of strength I had to hold onto his hand.
“I’m sorry, sir, but you can follow us.”
I tried to reach my other hand out, not wanting him to go, but it remained limp at my side.
“I’ll be with you, sweetheart. I promise, Cassandra, you’re going to be just fine. I’m going to make this right.” His voice was broken and weak as he released my hand.
Hot tears slid down my cheeks as his reassurances slowly faded into the background, into the darkness that consumed me once again.
Chapter Twenty-Six
—Logan—
Waiting
“I’m riding with her,” I demanded, watching Cassandra pass by me on the gurney and into the back of the ambulance. She was broken and bloodied, and I was to blame.
She was supposed to be with me, in my arms, safe and sound. Everything had gotten so far off course. I wanted to tell her how I felt tonight, hold her, and convince her I could be a better man. The man she deserved. Instead, I let Natasha get in my head. Just like old times, the damn woman knew how to knock me down.
Four years of hating her, hating myself for ever trusting her, for wanting to make her my wife. When Natasha left, I wanted nothing more than to fuck and drink anything I could get my hands on. To forget the pain that I wasn’t enough for her.
And then in walked Cassandra. The fiery blonde, who was as beautiful as she was stubborn. She threw my entire plan to the wolves, and left me confused and bewitched. Cassandra meant something to me no one else in my life ever had other than Oliver, not even Natasha could stand up against her.
Cassandra was sweet and loving but also guarded much like myself. So eager to live life, she just needed the right person by her side to help give her the push. I wanted to be that person and now…now she was in the back of an ambulance, the doors shutting in my face, fighting for her life.
I sprinted back to my car, adrenaline coursing through me as I ran every red light, blew through every stop sign on the tail of the blaring siren and flashing lights in front of me.
As I pulled up behind the ambulance, I watched Cassandra disappear inside and be taken straight to surgery. Slumped against the metal elevator door, I was left waiting, praying for the first time since I was a young boy that someone was listening.
As I paced across the dreary waiting room of the small hospital, every horrible outcome played through my mind. I wanted to fly her to the city, get her the best care possible, but it was out of my hands.
Hilary was there crumpled around Caleb on a small stiff looking sofa. Occasionally a sob would spill out from her direction of the room, but he would only hold her tighter, stroking her head and whispering into her hair.
The tender act filled me with envy. I wanted to be with Cassandra—holding her and helping her—not waiting.
A silver-haired doctor emerged from the double doors just past eight o’clock in the morning. All eyes flew up, and watched him anxiously. I stopped instantly in my tracks and stared, my breath caught.
“Hilary Robinson?” the doctor called out.
Hilary jumped from her spot, shoving away from Caleb and crossed the room in one swift move. “Yes, that's me. Is Cassandra all right?”
“Follow me,” he replied, his voice giving nothing away. He turned back to the doors he had just appeared from and disappeared with her at his side.
An hour ticked by and still no word from Hilary.
I continued pacing, unable to sit, unable to think without the weight of the night crushing me. By noon, my body begged to use the restroom, piss out the booze I ingested, but I couldn’t pull myself away from the room. The chance that I might miss an opportunity to speak to Hilary or possibly see Cassandra was too great.
“You should go get something to eat.” Caleb's voice broke through my silent wallowing.
“I'm not leaving.”
I didn’t look up from the floor. How dare he even suggest I step an inch from that room? Not without Cassandra.
“I understand, but if Hilary comes out I'll—”
“I'm not leaving!” I growled, shifting up my gaze from the floor to him, and closing the topic.
Caleb stood, holding up his hands in defeat. His expression was calm and I knew if things were reversed, he wouldn’t leave Hilary.
“I'll just go down to the cafeteria and bring you back something. Anything in particular sound good?”
I stared at him, scowling, not caring what he did. I just wanted the damn doctor or Hilary to give me an update, anything.
He nodded, understanding. “All right, I'll bring you whatever looks edible.”
With that Caleb walked in the direction of the elevators and I returned to pacing back and forth, wondering how many men had trudged over that same patch of carpet while they waited for news on the women they cared about. No doubt out of all the men stuck waiting over the years in that room, I’d been the only one who deserved to be in those shoes.
“Damn,” Luke said to himself.
I cocked my head to the side, watching him stare down at his phone.
When the yuppie came in a little while after Hilary and Caleb, I chose to ignore the guy. I didn’t know anything about him other than what his brother told me, and I had no intention of getting to know him now. I did however overhear him trying to console Hilary. Telling her Cassandra would be fine, that she was tough and would come out of this with a smile on her face, ready to take on the world.
I just shook my head at his comments. What the hell did he know about Cassandra? She was a fighter, yes, I saw it several times, but I also saw the scared girl hiding inside, holding her back. There was a woman in there desperate to break free, yet she chose to hide in her tiny house in the woods, reluctant to accept her true significance.
“I um…I got to go.” Luke tucked his phone back into his pocket and stood. Throwing on his coat, he looked over at me, as if I cared.
“Something came up at work. Can you tell Caleb I'll stop by later and if there is any word, let me know?”
I nodded once, simply to avoid speaking to him, and turned my focus back to the floor.
The day passed painfully slow. I watched every second, of every minute, tick by with no news and no return from Hilary. The growing frustration inside me began to pour over with each passing hour. Caleb had brought me a sandwich and coffee but my stomach was too knotted to eat.
It was after six o’clock in the evening when Felicia barreled out of the elevator and raced over to Caleb, bracing herself against his forearms.
“Where is she?” her voice broke.
Her eyes were bright-red and swollen. She leaned into him, panting. She looked like she ran a marathon trying to get there.
“Still in ICU. Hilary went back this morning and we haven't seen her since,” he trailed off in a soft somber tone but Felicia was already walking toward the nurses’ station before he could finish.
“Cassandra Clarke. I'm her mother.”
“Yes, right this way, ma'am.”
I watched as she disappeared behind the double doors, wanting nothing more than to follow behind her.
Several minutes later Hilary appeared and I my ent
ire body stiffened, watching her walk defeated over to Caleb, she collapsed into his arms. She cried, and beat against his chest rambling but all I heard was muffled pleas.
Unable to stand there watching knowing she had more information than me I walked over, hands shoved deep in my pockets. I needed answers, now.
“How is she?” I asked, standing in front of her.
“Give her a minute,” Caleb mouthed. His hands running through Hilary's long dark hair trying to soothe her.
I needed to soothe Cassandra, I was tired of waiting.
“Damn it! Just tell me how she is.”
Hilary pulled back from Caleb and wiped her sniffling nose.
“Please,” I begged, my voice nothing more than a breath of air.
Hilary cleared her throat and dabbed at her eyes while I impatiently waited desperate to hear anything.
“She's still asleep. The doctor said she should wake at any time. They won't be able to get a full diagnosis until then.”
“How did she…look?” I asked, relief washing over me. At the scene, I was terrified I was going to lose her. It was a thought I couldn’t bear. I’d just found her and finally she wanted to be with me, I could see it in her eyes as we danced and kissed. She wanted me as much as I wanted her. Oliver adored her and would welcome her with open arms. To me she was the woman I never thought existed, and gave up dreaming about long ago. Losing her wasn’t an option.
“She’s pretty beat up. They said the biggest problem could be her—” Hilary swallowed and looked away. “—her legs…she hit the pavement hard, and the doctors say they won't know the extent of the damage until she’s awake.”
My jaw tightened and I inhaled a deep breath through my nostrils. “I need to see her.”
“Felicia is with her now, but I'm sure she'll let you see her later.”
I turned and walked away, angry at the world. Cassandra didn’t deserve this. I wanted to hit something, destroy everything in my way to get to her. It was harder to breath, my neck painfully stiff. I needed some fresh air.