My brothers are in immediate danger and I still can’t bring myself to shoot her. I always thought I would be able to take anyone out whether it be a guy or a woman but it turns out, I can’t kill a woman.
I step in her line of sight and in line of her gun. If I can’t kill her, I will stop her from hurting anyone I love.
A strangled cry comes from the bottom of the stairs. I don’t look but I know it is Kristen. I told her once I was bound to my brothers and I would die for anyone of them and I wasn’t lying. Every ounce of me doesn’t want to die. I don’t want to leave her or Zach but if it comes down to it, I will die knowing what love feels like and knowing one of my brothers didn’t die because I couldn’t pull the God damn trigger.
“Slade, no.”
She didn’t scream it, it sounded like she could barely utter a word but the pain and fear in it already killed me inside.
Kitty’s face was just as dedicated as mine, a stand-off to end all stand-offs.
There was nothing left to say, not from me and not from her.
I felt it at the same time I heard it, a single shot had me falling to the ground. Searing pain shot through my body and when a second shot blasted Kitty fell beside me. It all happened in seconds, reeling from the burning pain I frantically look around and then pat my body down looking for blood. My leg. I had been shot in the leg.
Alannah is standing frozen in place staring at us both on the floor.
“I couldn’t let you die and you wouldn’t move,” she murmurs, Cas is at her side and tries to pry the gun from her hand.
Once he has it, he bundles her into his arms and she sinks into him. Kristen runs towards me and falls beside me.
“If Alannah hadn’t shot you, I would’ve done. What the hell were thinking?” she yells at me, scanning my body.
When she sees my leg, she begins shaking.
“I’m okay,” I tell her, keeping pressure on the wound.
“Slade, you’ve been shot, you’re hardly okay,” she scolds.
“I will be okay then, don’t worry about this,” I tell her, “Where’s Zach?”
“Somehow he slept through it all, one of those girls is watching him,” she replies.
“How are you doing?” I ask, not really wanting to hear her reply if this has been too much for her and she now wants out.
“I’m more concerned about you.”
That’s all I want to hear for now. Sirens become louder as they get closer and everyone snaps into action.
“Get her body out of here before the paramedics and cops get here.” Cas growls, “This was a party with too much to drink and things got out of hand, no one is to say anything but that.” he orders.
Kristen moves to my other side as two of the prospects move towards Kitty.
“I’ll do it,” Oak says, picking her up like a broken doll with care and remorse for the friend he couldn’t save.
“Won’t the cops want to know about her?” Kristen asks quietly near my ear.
“Remember what I said about my world being different darlin’. This is one of those times that you’re gonna see just how different they are. Can you handle this?” I ask.
She stares intently at me before committing to an answer.
“She threatened to kill me, she nearly killed you so yeah…I can handle this.”
“Good.”
Gripping my hand behind her neck, I pull her down and press my lips to hers. I need to remember to thank Alannah for this. If she hadn’t of shot me and tonight had gone another way, I wouldn’t be here to feel her against me. She tastes like salty tears and fear but she has never tasted sweeter.
“Miss, I need you to step back so I can see to his leg.”
I look up to see a paramedic standing over us. Kristen moves back and releases my hand.
Flickers of something I can’t work out flash across her face and she moves further away from me.
“Kristen?”
“I need to check on Zachery,” she says, before she escapes back up the stairs.
The paramedic could be amputating my leg right now and I wouldn’t feel a thing because the pain of watching her walk away hurt more. I don’t understand, she just said she was okay.
The rest of the night became a blur, the meds they gave me until I arrived at the hospital had me drowsy and falling in and out of consciousness and then everything went black.
Chapter Eighteen
Kristen
Everything came crashing down around me when I left Slade with the medic. Everything that happened with that crazy ass woman took its toll and I couldn’t handle it. What made it worse was Slade intentionally putting himself in danger. He was prepared to die and leave us. After everything he said and done to make me fall in love with him he was going to dismiss it.
After he was taken away and Pope was also bundled into the back of the ambulance Cas had promised they would follow them soon and everyone else began clearing the bar. Oak never came back from where ever he took Kitty’s body and I never asked.
With everyone occupied I quietly retrieved Zachery and an overnight bag and slipped out unnoticed. I wasn’t sure if I was running away or not but I knew I couldn’t stay here tonight.
When my father’s life was drawing to an end Zachery was my rock without him even knowing it. All I needed now was my son.
It has now been two days since Kitty went bat shit crazy and I still haven’t been to the hospital to see Slade. I don’t know how he’s doing or if he’s even still in the hospital?
It took a day and a half to clearly see being held hostage wasn’t what was tearing me apart, it was the fact Slade had purposefully put himself near death.
If he could do that, how easy would it be for him to just walk out on us? I told him Zachery would always come first in my life and I didn’t want him to get hurt. He promised me he would never hurt us but how did he think I would feel if he had died two days ago?
The motel in Willows Peak was still closed from the fire so I returned to the motel I stayed in after I found out the truth about Billy.
It was obvious Slade knew where I was because at some point yesterday one of the prospects turned up and sat vigil outside my room. When I took Zachery for dinner he followed and waited for us to finish before he followed us back to the motel. He done the same when we left for breakfast this morning too.
I have to go back to Willows Peak at some point but I know when I do I will have to see Slade.
A knock at the door didn’t have me fearing who was on the other side because I knew the prospect would have stepped in.
Climbing off the bed I opened the door to find Sparky standing on the other side.
“Can I come in?” he asks.
“Sure.”
I don’t have the same perception of him as I did when I first met him. He doesn’t scare me with his size and tattoos when all I see in him is love for his wife and child.
“Hey little man,” he speaks to Zachery playing with his bricks on the floor. Zachery looks up and smiles at him before returning his attention to his toys.
“How are you doin’?” he asks me, taking a seat on the chair.
“I’m not sure,” I answer him honestly.
“I get it,” he murmurs, “Are you goin’ to ask how Slade is?”
He isn’t rude but I can sense his loyalty to his brother.
“How is he?”
“He had to have surgery to get the bullet out but he’s goin’ to be okay, although he’s goin’ fuckin’ crazy not seeing you.”
“I kind of figured he was okay because of him out there finding me,” I say, nodding my chin at the prospect outside. Slade found me here once before, I didn’t put it past him to find me here again.
“Actually that was Bon, she followed you when you left. She saw you leavin’ and knew how you would be feelin’ and needed space.”
“Oh.”
I truly had made some good friends here and it only made everything worse.
“Why are you
here?” I ask, because I don’t know what else to say.
“I know you’re not used to our lifestyle and it can be scary to some, but I know a runner when I see one. If you love him then running away will be the biggest mistake you’ll make,” he says, solemnly.
“I’m not running.”
“What are you doin’ here then?” he asks.
I didn’t want to have this conversation with him, he released a heavy sigh when I remained silent.
“I don’t know how much Bon has told you about her past but she knew the life before I met her and she ran all the fuckin’ time, she nearly destroyed me with it. The point I’m trying to make is that you shouldn’t run because of what happened, Slade would never have let you get hurt.”
“I’m not worried about what happened, he stepped in direct line of fire. He knew there was a huge possibility she would have killed him. He was going to take himself away from us,” I whimpered, remembering the scene at the club.
He stood and held his hands on his hips staring down at me as I sat on the edge of the bed.
“Sounds like you wanna kick his ass and you can’t reach it from here. I’ll wait outside while you get your shit together.”
He makes it to the door before it registers what he said.
“Who said I was leaving?” I ask, stubbornly.
“I am,” he says, turning around so he is face to face with me, “My brother travelled across the country just to take you out to dinner because that was what you wanted. He has totalled one side of his bike in his rush to get to you when he knew you were in danger. I think the least you can do is go and see him and talk this shit out because if he has to stay in that hospital for much longer without seeing you, he’s goin’ to drive us and the nurses crazier than he is goin’.”
He doesn’t say another word as he turns and leaves.
He’s right, Slade and I do need to talk. I pack our bag and hand the key back to the manager.
Sparky is on his phone when I get back to my car and he watches every move I make.
He snaps his phone shut and puts it in his pocket.
“Bon says you can drop Zach off at ours while you go to the hospital, she’ll watch him for as long as you need.”
“Thanks.”
Before long we’re on the road heading back to Willows Peak and I feel like I have a personal bodyguard, either that or he’s making sure I don’t drive in the opposite direction.
Bonnie was more than happy to see us when we arrived. She scooped Zachery out of his car seat and was shooing me off before I could get out of the car. The ride to the hospital didn’t take long and seemed quicker because my mind was too busy trying to figure out what I was going to say.
It wasn’t hard to find his room as the door was surrounded with Lost Souls.
“I’m fuckin’ glad to see you darlin’, maybe you can get him to ease up on everyone,” Oak grunts, opening the door to Slade’s room for me.
My heart beats erratically as soon as I see him sitting up in bed. Cas and Alannah are sitting either side of him and go quiet when they see me.
Neither of them say anything and stand to leave. Cas walks straight past me and out of the room but Alannah stops and gives me a quick hug before she leaves and closes the door behind her.
“How are you?” I ask, moving to stand at the bottom of his bed.
“Better now you’re here,” he smiles.
His smile hurts to look at and the thought he could have taken that away from me hurts even more.
“Where have you been?” he asks.
“I had to get away, I had too much to think about.” I say, moving around his bed to take the seat Cas was in.
“There’s nothing to think about Kris, you’re here, I’m here, everything is good. It’s been killing me wondering what’s been going through your head.”
Everything about him hurt me, it hurts to look at his handsome face, it hurts to hear his alluring voice and it hurts when he holds my hand and I feel his warmth.
“When my father’s condition worsened I had to watch him die a little bit more every day, it terrified me to watch him deteriorate knowing there was nothing I could do to help him. I know he loved me and didn’t want to leave us. You made out we could have a life together, you told me you loved me. I was prepared to give you all of me and all you was prepared to do was die right in front of me. I can’t and won’t stand by and watch someone I love die again.”
He didn’t interrupt as I spoke and I didn’t give him a chance to speak after I finished.
I pulled my hand from his and stood.
“Don’t do this.”
“I’m sorry.”
It is all I can say, I know it is cowardly, the guy can’t even get out of bed to chase me down for which I am grateful for because my resolve watching him fall apart like me was beginning to waver.
I have a responsibility to myself and to my son, as much as it hurts to walk away I know it could be worse if he put himself purposefully in danger again.
“Kristen,” Slade calls, as I open the door.
I don’t turn around as I say, “Goodbye Slade, my things will be gone before you get home.”
No one says anything as I walk through the band of brothers and leave the hospital without hesitation.
It isn’t until I get back to the confines of my car that I cry. I cry for the happiness I had and I cry for the man I love that I can’t bear to lose for being ridiculously stupid with his life.
Slade
“Cas,” I call out, hoping he will hear through the closed door.
I’m not letting her walk away that easily, or at all. Ripping the drip from my hand stings like a bitch but I don’t care.
“Cas,” I yell louder.
I swing my good leg over the edge of the bed and carefully move my wounded leg to rest it next to it.
Cas still hasn’t heard me, sliding off the bed I land on my good leg and use the bed rail to hop to the end.
It is not far to the door so I hobble on one foot and grasp the handle with everything I have to keep myself upright. A wave of dizziness flows over me but I carry on.
Opening the door I find my brothers and Alannah sitting and standing around the hall but no Kristen.
“Slade! What are you thinking?” Alannah gasps, jumping to her feet.
I sought my president out and catch his eye.
“Get me out of here.” I say, using the doorframe to hold me up.
He doesn’t ask any questions and complies. Oak and Sparky jump to my side and help me stand unaided by the doorframe.
“You can’t leave Slade,” Alannah says, getting in my face.
“She’s going to leave and I can’t let that happen,” I tell her.
“Get back in bed and I will find her and talk to her for you, I’ll get her to come back.” She says, almost begging.
Thankfully Cas comes towards us with a wheelchair. As soon as he is close enough I slump into it and breathe a sigh of relief from the pain.
“Where to Slade?” Cas asks.
“My house.”
Not seeing Kristen over the last couple of days has given me too much time to think. The club is in disarray from the revelation that Pope killed Michael and not Hunter. Kitty’s body was buried in an unmarked grave outside of town but with more respect than she deserves and the hole in my leg seems to be for nothing.
Cas has told us that the Michael situation will be addressed when Pope and I are out of hospital and back at the club.
So far it seems everyone is taking it well. I don’t care who killed Michael after what he done to us but the fact they kept it a secret stings me to the core. If they have kept something like that to themselves, what else don’t we know?
The drive is quiet to my house. I wait with baited breath as we round the corner onto my street as to whether her car is there or not.
When I see her car parked in the drive, I exhale loudly. Cas and Sparky both help me out of the truck and after I have one arm ove
r each of their shoulders, I hop up the porch and remember I don’t have my keys.
Sparky knocks on the door.
“This is fuckin’ embarrassing,” I curse, having to have two guys to help me stand.
“Everyone goes through shit with their girl, look at us, we weren’t exactly subtle and smooth with Bon and Barbie,” Sparky laughs.
“I meant you two holding me up,” I grunt, “Bang on the door again,” I tell him.
Just as his fist bangs on the wood the door opens and a red eyed Kristen looks stunned to be seeing me here.
“What the hell are you doing out of hospital?” she screeches in panic.
“You left before I could talk.”
With the aid of Cas and Sparky I hop my way to the living room and throw myself on the couch.
“We’ll wait outside,” Cas says, pushing Sparky with him.
Once we were alone she sat at the opposite end of the couch.
“You weren’t wasting any time were you,” I snap, unable to hide the pain in my voice.
“I haven’t been able to bring myself to start actually.”
“Because you know you’re making a fuckin’ mistake,” I grunt.
“Did you make a mistake when you stepped in front of that gun the other night?”
“If it means I’m losing you because of it then yes…I made the biggest mistake of my fuckin’ life.”
Sucking a sharp breath in she looks at me and tears begin to pool in her eyes.
“How did you feel when you saw that gun pointed at my head?” she asks.
“I felt like I was going to die.”
“So how do you think I felt when you purposefully put yourself in that position? That is what scares me Slade, what happens when we build a future together but then you do something like that again and you disappear from us?”
I can’t expect her to give me all of her if I can’t do the same. I never thought I’d see the day I would give up everything for a woman.
Kristen and Zachery have both become a part of me and I want it to be permanent.
“I’ll walk away from it all.”